So…this chapter was difficult. It's very daunting writing TFA fanfiction that includes so many details from the movie, since we don't know what all those details mean yet. But here is my interpretation of how Rey was left on Jakku that fits with the loving big brother Ben that exists in my mind.
The fourth time Rey hurt her brother was the last time-or so Ben thought.
It almost gave Ben…no, Kylo Ren…a feeling of déjà vu, flying with his little sister curled up in the co-pilot's seat. He had a few vague, distant memories of the two of them on the Millennium Falcon that he had slowly repressed over the years: a memory of learning how to steer the Falcon, his father leaning over him and guiding his movements while his mother sat next to them and nursed Rey. A memory of snuggling with Rey in the Crew's Quarter's, reading her a story and trying not to think about the fact that in an hour's time, they would be separated as he was left at the Jedi Academy. Even a memory of he and Rey sneaking out of bed to play on the Falcon, both of them pretending to be fighter pilots and shooting out the enemies. That last memory burned so bright that it almost brought a slight pain to Ben…no, Kylo Ren's…chest. That had been the evening his par…Han Solo and General Organa had brought Rey to the Jedi Academy. They had stayed overnight due to unsafe flying conditions in the system, and B…Kylo hadn't been able to resist Rey's pleas to wake up and play with him. He shook his head violently, desperate to repress memories of happier times. Those days were gone and there was no going back. Not after last night.
Yesterday had been her birthday. It had almost been too perfect. Ben had mentioned to his Unc…Skywalker that it would be a nice surprise for Rey to get to go home to her parents for the day. After all, she was turning five and was the youngest initiate at the Academy by several years. It was good for her to maintain a steady relationship with her mother and father. Luke had bought it hook, line, and sinker, and had arranged everything with her parents. He hadn't even batted an eyelash when Ben asked permission to go off planet to purchase a small, used speeder bike for Rey. She loved to tinker with things, just like her father, and Luke had clapped his hand on his nephew's shoulder and told him how proud he was of him for being such a good big brother.
Ben…technically, he was still Ben at the time…had given Rey a big hug and a kiss before he left the day before her birthday. She had guessed that he was going off to fetch some wonderful birthday surprise for her, and she had pestered him until the moment he got on his shuttle. He hadn't teased her like her normally would have. It was too painful. He just held her close as long as he could without looking suspicious and told her to have a good birthday. She had waved eagerly as he flew away, completely oblivious to the fact that her big brother had just betrayed her and the entire Jedi Order and was off to join the Knights of Ren.
The massacre had begun swiftly and mercilessly as the last light faded from the sky and rain began to pour. Kylo had been preparing to fight Luke himself, but the Old Jedi Master was nowhere to be seen-it wasn't uncommon for him to be called away to some important government meeting. As the blood of the Initiates he had once trained beside began to flow over the ground, Kylo found himself experiencing a brief moment of relief. The Supreme Leader had assured him he was ready to lead the Knights of Ren and eliminate the Jedi Order, but Kylo knew his Uncle's strength. He was unsure that he was equal to him-yet.
The feeling of relief was almost instantly replaced with one of shock, fear, and rage as he heard, above the clashing of sabers and the sound of falling bodies, a high-pitched scream of terror that was all too familiar.
She isn't supposed to be here.
The next ten minutes were a blur-Kylo just remembered flashes of what had transpired. He remembered his saber cutting through the knight standing above his baby sister so swiftly that the unsuspecting man was sliced in half where he stood. He remembered Rey's screams becoming even louder and more terrified as he stood over her, his mask frightening and unfamiliar to her. He remembered placing his gloved hand on her soaking wet head, using the Force to put her to sleep and lifting her shivering body in his arms. He remembered stowing her away on the little shuttle before informing his second in command that he was going after Skywalker-the only plausible excuse he could think of in his frenzied state. And he remembered sending a transmission to a remote desert planet in the Western Reaches, to a junkboss named Unkar Plutt, from whom the Knights of Ren had procured their ships. He couldn't take Rey back to her home planet-the General would sense his presence. He couldn't face her and Han Solo and lose everything he had worked for. So Rey would have to go elsewhere, to a place where no one would ever find her. Not Luke Skywalker, not Han Solo. Not the Supreme Leader.
The remote planet, known as Jakku, was slowly looming closer as Kylo prepared to land. Its barren, sandy surface reflected a faint light into the cockpit of the shuttle, and Ben felt his heart stop as Rey began to stir. He had hoped that she would remain unconscious until…but he couldn't bring himself to put her to sleep again. A miniscule part of him was desperate to hear her sweet little voice, one last time.
Rey sat up, and her lower lip began to tremble as she fixed her hazy eyes on him. "Ben, what happened?" she asked shakily. "It was dark, and everyone was screaming, and there was a man in a mask…"
Kylo hastily kicked his helmet under the seat-he had removed it to catch his breath earlier, and he was eternally grateful that he had, lest Rey had awoken and found the scary man from her dreams sitting next to her.
"You were having a nightmare, Rey," he said shortly.
"But it felt real," she insisted, unbuckling her seat belt and coming up to put her hands on his knee.
"Try not to think about it," Kylo said huskily, putting his arm around her on instinct. "Hold on tight, we're landing."
"Where are we?" Rey asked, peering out the window in wonderment as the shuttle settled to the surface.
"Jakku," he said quietly, trying not to look her in the eye as he lifted her to his hip.
Rey's forehead wrinkled in concern, and she touched her small hand to his face. "Ben, why are you crying?" she asked, her little voice growing higher with a slight hint of panic.
"I'm not," he said, almost angrily, before he realized that a tear had indeed slipped unbidden out of his left eye. He brushed it away quickly and opened the shuttle door, wincing as the bright sunlight assaulted his eyes. Plutt was waiting for him, as instructed.
"This the girl?" Plutt asked, his foul face expressionless as he examined her. Kylo unconsciously tightened his grip around Rey, and he could feel her do the same to him. He nodded and fixed the Crolute with a dangerous expression.
"You will allow no harm to come to her," Kylo said harshly. "She will be fed and clothed and sheltered. If she is hurt in any way, you will find my retribution to be swift and unforgiving."
Plutt nodded shortly, and Kylo tried to swallow, but found his mouth was completely dry. He leaned over to set Rey down on the ground, but she clung to his neck with all her might.
"Ben, what's going on?" she whimpered.
"You're staying here," he said roughly, trying to pry her little hands off of his throat.
"I don't wanna stay here!" she cried. "I wanna go back to the Academy with you!"
"There is no more Academy, Rey!" Kylo said, trying to make his voice sound threatening but failing miserably. "There's no where else for you to go! You're staying here, and that's final! Now let go!"
"NO!" Rey shrieked, struggling as he continued to try and pull her off of him. In her struggle, her pointy little foot kicked him right in the abdomen, and he doubled over in pain.
"I'll come back for you!" he blurted out, almost helplessly. He knew it was an empty promise, knew that he must stay as far away from her as possible for her own safety. But his words had the desired effect. Rey pulled back to look him in the eye and evaluate the truthfulness of his words, giving him the leverage her needed to tug her off and put her on the ground. Plutt didn't hesitate before wrapping a meaty palm around her impossibly small arm, and Ben turned to walk away.
"NO! BEN! DON'T LEAVE ME! BEN, COME BACK!"
He harnessed his anger and sadness into darkness, just as the Supreme Leader had taught him, and refused to allow another tear to fall.
Before the door to the shuttle closed, Kylo Ren closed his eyes and reached out with the force. His heart was so full of grief and anger that he barely had any control over what he was doing, but he ground his teeth and concentrated. He listened in agony as Rey's cries of "Ben! Don't leave me!" almost instantly transformed into the more generic, "Come back!" and he knew it was done. Her memories were gone, at least for the present moment. She would live with the knowledge that her family had abandoned her, but she wouldn't remember any details. Wouldn't remember how her mother had taught her how to style her hair into three perfect little buns. Wouldn't remember her father showing her how to tinker with the engine of the Falcon. Wouldn't remember her uncle giving her a practice saber and instructing her on the proper stance. Wouldn't remember…him.
The door latched. The engine started. And Kylo Ren flew away without looking back, leaving the last traces of Ben Solo behind in the eyes of an anguished, screaming little girl.
I'm sure this isn't even remotely how the movie is going to play out, but for current purposes, it serves me well. I know it was a little choppy, but that's how I imagine Ben was feeling during that whole experience-choppy and disconnected. Apologies if I screwed up anything Force related! Coming up next-I mean, if you've seen the movie, you probably already have that figured out Let me know what you thought by leaving a review!
