Wheeler blew a stream of cigarette smoke out into the cold air and watched it hang there for a moment before the breeze tore it apart.
Finally, he drew his cell phone out of his pocket and scrolled through the names. He couldn't put it off any longer.
Mishka answered on the first ring. "Is she there?" he asked desperately.
"No. She's gone. Sorry, man." He flicked ash towards the ground. "I tried."
"Gone?"
"Back to Viktor." Wheeler chewed his lip for a moment, debating whether or not to tell Mishka everything. Finally, he decided he couldn't hide anything. "He's hitting her."
Mishka choked. "What?" he asked, enraged. "She is hurt? You let her go back –"
"I couldn't stop her!" he snapped angrily. "What do you want me to do? Handcuff her and throw her in the trunk of my car? I can't make her leave if she doesn't want to."
"She went back to him?" he asked desperately. "Why? Is she badly hurt?"
Wheeler rubbed the tip of his nose with his thumb. "It looked bad," he admitted softly. "I dunno what I can do."
Mishka sighed heavily.
"She said she wanted to talk to you," Wheeler said. "She just – she got scared. And Viktor has made her feel pretty helpless."
"I will kill him!" Mishka snarled.
Wheeler dragged on his cigarette. "It took a lot of self control to let her go," he admitted. "She's the only one that can help herself though, Mishka."
"Linka would not let someone do that to her," he said desperately.
Wheeler suddenly realised he had a headache. "I didn't think so either," he said. "I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it. And she's different – frightened and nervous." He crushed his cigarette against the side of a trash can before dropping it in. "He's had ten years to change her and control her."
Mishka groaned. "What do we do now?"
"I don't know," Wheeler admitted. "I think I've fucked up, Mishka. I don't even know where she's gone home to. But I know where she works – I guess I could go in and try and talk to her again."
"I suppose I was expecting it to be easier than this," Mishka admitted heavily. "It was stupid of me."
"Nah," Wheeler answered. "It's okay to be hopeful. I was too. And I never expected Linka to be like this..."
"How bad was it?" he asked hesitantly.
"Really bad," Wheeler admitted. "It's been going on for a long time, I'd say. And she spent the whole time here looking at the clock. She seems so frightened." He cringed and kicked his toe into the pavement. "I shouldn't have let her go back," he groaned. "I should have kept her here, where she'd be safe."
"Talk to her tomorrow," Mishka ordered. "Get her away from him."
"It's not that easy," Wheeler said. "She got angry with me when I tried to get her away. It's up to her, man. I told her I'd wait for her but there's not much else I can do."
Mishka swore under his breath. "I know," he admitted. "It is hard for me to sit back and do nothing."
"I know exactly what you mean," Wheeler said, fidgeting and trying to resist reaching into his pocket for another cigarette. "I'm alternating between wanting to snatch her up and run off with her, or track Viktor down and beat the shit out of him."
"Do both," Mishka suggested.
Wheeler gave a bitter laugh. "Yeah."
He heard a soft voice in the background.
"I have to go," Mishka said after a moment. "Natalya needs help with the boys."
"Okay," Wheeler answered. "Look, don't worry too much. I'm not done yet. I'm gonna get her out. Okay?"
"I know," Mishka said. "I trust you. Just – tell her I love her."
"I did, and I will," he promised. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Da, okay," Mishka agreed. "Thank you, Wheeler."
Wheeler hung up and eventually gave in, scrounging around in his pocket for his cigarettes and lighter. He didn't think he deserved thanks.
I let her go back to that creep, he thought. I may as well have punched her myself.
Linka leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the cab window, feeling sick. There were only forty five minutes until Viktor got home.
In her mind, she ran through each room of the house, wondering if it would be obvious she hadn't been home all day. She wasn't entirely sure what he had expected her to do while he was at work – but he had ordered her to stay home. For the hundredth time, she wondered why exactly her contract had been terminated.
The Linka Voice answered her, and she sounded surprisingly bitter. So he has even more control over us, she said.
The Viktor Voice was cruel and delighted. You have nothing left but Viktor, now. Nobody else wants you and you know exactly what happens when you try to trust other people. You get hurt, Linka. Viktor gave you a job and he's given you ten years of assurance and direction. Other people hide the truth from you in order to hurt you, but you always know where you stand with Viktor... If you keep him happy, things will be better...
The Linka Voice was quiet.
She cast her mind back to Wheeler, and how it had felt lying in his arms that afternoon. Her skin warmed again, just at the thought of it. Her mind was too overwhelmed to remember anything else but that warm, gentle touch.
The cab stopped and she gazed out across the small yard to the front door of the house she shared with Viktor. She dreaded crossing the threshold. Closing the door behind her always meant she was alone with Viktor and his temper.
She gazed at the door, vaguely aware that the driver had tallied her total and was asking for his money.
The Linka Voice started screeching at her. Do it! she cried. Do it, Linka! If we go inside and put a meal on the stove we will never get away from Viktor. Wheeler is right – we deserve better and we don't want this, we don't want this!
"Can you wait five minutes?" she blurted, thrusting a handful of notes at the driver. "I will be out again."
Surprised, he nodded, and she scrambled out of the cab and ran to the front door, her keys in her hand.
She didn't bother closing the door again. She raced straight through to the bedroom, panting desperately, her ribs aching and her heart racing as she grabbed an overnight bag from the bottom of the closet and began stuffing clothes into it. She emptied drawers onto the middle of the bed and grabbed the first items of clothing she could see. She snatched up her passport and stuffed it into a side pocket. She ran into the bathroom and grabbed her toiletry bag, shoving everything down and forcing the zip along.
Trembling with adrenaline, she grabbed the bag and turned towards the door again.
Viktor stood in her way, watching her quietly, his arms folded.
She gasped and dropped the bag like it had physically burned her. "Viktor..."
The Viktor Voice was smug, as though somehow Linka's own thought patterns had managed to call Viktor home early. Look what you've done now, Linka. If you'd just behaved yourself, you wouldn't be in this mess now, would you?
"Where are you going, Linka?" Viktor asked, looking at the bag at her feet before flicking his eyes back up to meet hers.
She shook her head, fighting for breath. Panic was creeping through her veins and paralysing her. "Nowhere," she whispered. "I was – I was just..." She trailed off helplessly, tears already cold on her face.
The Linka Voice was just a whisper. I thought we could do it. Don't let him stop us now, please? We want to get out of here, remember?
"I called after lunch," Viktor said softly. "You didn't answer the phone."
She was pressed against the wall now. He hadn't moved, but she had backed away, already predicting what was going to come.
Why did you think you could get away? You spend three hours with Wheeler and suddenly you lose your mind, The Viktor Voice said.
"I came home early and you weren't here," Viktor whispered, stepping towards her.
"Please don't hurt me," she blurted. "I didn't mean to make you angry, Viktor. I'll behave myself, I promise..."
"Shut up," he snapped, standing in front of her. "Where were you?"
She moved without thinking. She had seen his fist clench and she had seen his eyes glint dangerously, and she knew what was coming. She simply reached out and closed her hand around the first object that came to hand before she swung it around and crashed it against the side of his head.
Good, The Linka Voice breathed. Now, run.
She dropped the lamp as he stumbled sideways, and she ran, snatching up her bag and pelting for the front door.
She could hear Viktor curse, but she had reached the front step again and in three hurried strides, was out on the sidewalk and had thrown herself into the backseat of the taxi again.
"Go!" she shrieked. "Go, hurry!"
She heard the tyres squeal against the pavement as the driver, reacting to her panic, stomped on the accelerator and skidded the car out onto the road, taking her away from the house, and away from Viktor.
Wheeler rubbed his eyes tiredly, watching the sky darken over the city. He felt utterly miserable, though his mood changed when his cell rang. He glanced at the number on the screen, and though he didn't recognise it, the international code told him it was coming from Australia. Only two people ever called him from Australia.
"Hello?"
"Hey!"
"Hey, Bubbles," he said, grinning.
"Very funny," Gi answered dryly.
He chuckled. "Glad you rang."
"As you should be," she answered smugly. "How's the story going?"
"Oh, the story," he said, vaguely remembering he was supposed to be writing an article. "Yeah, I haven't touched it."
"Are you okay?" she asked in concern.
"Not really," he admitted. "Where are you? You're calling from a weird number."
"Still at work," she said. "I'm about to go home but I figured they could pay for an international phone call to St Petersburg."
He chuckled. "Nice one."
"So what's up? Work stuff?"
"No," he sighed.
"Linka stuff?"
He grinned, admiring the way she could pin his problems down so quickly. "Yeah," he said.
"I don't suppose you've found her?" Gi asked.
He could hear her shuffling papers. It seemed she had given up – that she had asked that question so often she didn't expect anything but the answer he usually gave.
"I found her," he said. "I saw her today."
There was a loud clunk, and he heard her swear, and papers crumpled and there was a loud crackle on the line.
"Are you there?" she asked in a panic.
"What happened?"
"You found her? I dropped the phone. Oh my God..."
"I found her," he said, smiling to himself.
Gi started to cry.
"She's in Moscow. I'm in Moscow. I found her last night and she nearly fainted with the shock of it. I'm in a hotel and she came to see me today, but we had a bit of a – a disagreement," he said. "She went home."
"You fought with her?" Gi asked angrily. "Wheeler!"
"It wasn't my fault!" he argued back. "I only pointed out the obvious."
"You bloody idiot," she snapped, dragging up one of the many Australianisms she liked to use against him now and then.
"You want to hear the story or not?" he asked impatiently.
"Yes," she sighed. "Go on."
"She's still with this Viktor guy," Wheeler said. "And you know how I've always thought he was shady? I mean, Mishka never liked him but the fact he disappeared off the face of the planet and took Linka with him –"
"I know," she interrupted. "He's shady. Go on."
"He's hitting her," Wheeler said frankly. "She's purple."
Gi groaned. "Is she okay?"
"She's different," he said, the realisation finally hitting him fully as he tried to find words to describe her to Gi. "She's so thin... Craig saw her at the software conference he went to, and he thought she had cancer. And I thought he was right, too, but I think it's just the stress she's under. She's got these big black circles under her eyes... And she looks terrified all the time."
"How could she let someone do that?" Gi asked softly. "She was always so strong."
"Until we did what we did," he said, leaning his back against the wall. "We really hurt her."
"I know," she whispered. "We both know. We've been through it time and time again."
"Yeah." He shivered. Night was falling fast and it was cold out on the street. "Anyway. She got home and it was only a couple of months before Viktor took her away and promised her everything she wanted – a nice job, new friends, new duties. She was desperate to leave everything behind and start anew, and he took advantage of that. He really manipulated her. And he's clever, Gi. He knew exactly what he was doing and by the time she realised, it was too late for her to get out."
"It was never too late," Gi said desperately. "Why didn't she call us?"
"Three guesses," he snapped.
She sighed. "Yeah, okay. But she talked to you? She came and saw you?"
"Uh-huh." He closed his eyes. He regretted falling asleep. There were so many questions he had wanted to ask Linka, and so many things that needed to be said – and he'd fallen asleep.
"Is she mad?" Gi asked timidly.
"We didn't really mention it," he admitted. "Not a whole lot was said. But I told her I'd be here for her. I guess the next move is up to her."
"If she's been with Viktor for ten years I can't see her leaving anytime soon," Gi said bitterly.
"Viktor convinced her she didn't have anywhere to go," he said, shrugging. "I just hope she trusts me. I've gotta get her out."
"You will," Gi said confidently. "You found her. You've got a way of crawling under people's skin. Like a parasite."
He snorted. "Gee, thanks."
She laughed. "It'll be okay," she sighed.
He could hear a new-found happiness in her voice, and suddenly he was grinning too. "Yeah," he said. He laughed. "I found her!"
"You found her!" she squealed. "You found Linka!"
He laughed again, and he felt the weight he'd been carrying for the past ten years lift away from him and float off into the air. "Oh, man," he sighed. "I can't believe I found her."
"I don't suppose you mentioned me?" Gi asked timidly.
"I told her you missed her and you asked about her all the time. She seemed a little hurt that we'd kept in touch, I guess, but I explained everything. I think things will be okay."
"I hope so," Gi whispered. "Do you think I could tell the others? Ma-Ti is definitely going to –"
"Yeah, tell them," Wheeler said. "But don't expect anything too much from Linka just yet."
"No, okay," she agreed. "I know there's still a long way to go."
He shivered again and finally turned back towards the hotel, keeping himself hunched against the cold. "So any reason you were calling?" he asked. "How's work?"
"No, it doesn't matter," she said. "Finding Linka is all I want to talk about. But I think I'd better go. It's really late here. I'll call you tomorrow."
"Hey, maybe wait a little on telling the other guys I've found her," he said suddenly. "Just until I can talk to her again. I really don't have much information and I think I need to see her again. I'm gonna swing by her office and try and have another chat with her."
"Well don't argue with her this time," Gi warned.
"I'll try not to," he muttered. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Okay," she sighed. "I'm so glad you found her."
"Me too."
"If it won't upset her too much, can you give her a message from me?" she asked, somewhat nervously.
"Sure," he promised.
"Tell her I'm sorry. And that I love her and I want to talk to her."
"I'll pass it on," he said. "Go and get some sleep, Little Mermaid."
"Yeah," she sighed. "Talk tomorrow. Love you."
"I love you too," he answered. "Bye."
"Bye."
He slipped his cell back into his pocket and hurried back to the hotel. Suddenly, all he wanted was to bunker down in his room with a cup of coffee and his half-written article.
After seeing how distressed Linka was, the cab driver had kindly refused the second fare she had tried to offer him. It was probably just as well – she only had about half of what she owed him.
She hurried through the hotel lobby, aware that her dishevelled state and tear-streaked face had attracted worried glances from several people. She looked about nervously as she waited for the elevator, convinced that Viktor had followed her and was waiting for the right moment to come up behind her and wrap his hands around her throat.
Don't stop to think, The Linka Voice said comfortingly. Just get to Wheeler and then he'll look after you.
The Viktor Voice was scornful. Don't be stupid, Linka. You know Viktor will come after you. Just imagine what he'll do to you when he finds you...
She scurried into the elevator, keeping her head down to avoid looking at herself in the mirrored walls, and jabbed the button for Wheeler's floor.
You shouldn't be doing this, The Viktor Voice continued. How can you even think about doing this? Viktor will find you. And Wheeler won't want you anyway. Encroaching on his life like this... You'll be just as dependent on him as you were on Viktor...
She gripped the handles of her overnight bag anxiously.
There were people waiting for the elevator as it came to the ninth floor. She sidestepped them nervously and hurried down the corridor to Wheeler's room. Her stomach hurt and she found she could no longer stand up straight – but she had made it.
She patted her palm loudly against the door, breathing heavily. After a few seconds she knocked again, pressing her ear to the door. Her heart sank and she felt icy terror grip her chest.
The Viktor Voice laughed. She heard it, using her laugh, spinning it high and cold and unfamiliar. He's gone and left you! He knew you didn't really want him and now he's gone. Viktor really is all you have left, and you've gone and made him angry. Didn't I tell you, Linka? Didn't I tell you that Viktor is the only one you can trust? Everyone else will hurt you. Nobody wants you...
She burst into hysterical tears, hammering on the door with her palm, her bag abandoned at her feet. "Wheeler!" she wailed. She pressed her ear to the door again, but nothing shifted on the other side.
The elevator chimed again and she spun with horror, knowing that it was Viktor – he had followed her and he had come to take her home.
Wheeler looked up in alarm after stepping out of the elevator and into the corridor. "Linka?"
She ran towards him and collided with him heavily, sobbing.
"I left," she gasped. "I left him but he will come after me and –"
"Shh," he soothed, recovering well from his initial shock. He cupped her face in his hands and watched her fighting for air, trying to gulp it in.
"Calm down, babe," he whispered. "It's okay. You'll be okay. Come on." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and steered her towards his room, opening the door and ushering her inside, stooping to pick up her bag.
She spent several minutes just sobbing into his chest. He kept his arms wrapped around her and he kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly, whispering gentle promises and soothing noises into her ear.
Eventually she quietened, but she didn't pull away, and he didn't let her go.
"Did he hurt you?" he asked after a moment.
"I hit him," she whispered. "I hit him with a lamp."
Wheeler felt a surge of pride and a sudden urge to laugh with delight, though he forced it back. "You did?"
She nodded slowly. "He will be so angry," she said, and she shivered.
"You'll be okay," he promised again. He stroked her hair gently, rocking her as she huddled into his body.
"He will try to find me," she said.
"Well let's get out of here then," he answered, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her gently. "Let's go."
"You will hide me?" she breathed with relief, closing her eyes and clutching at the front of his jacket with trembling hands.
He kissed her again. "If you want to call it hiding," he said. "But I want to tell you right now, Linka, that I'm not gonna stop you if you want to leave, okay? Nobody is in charge of you but you, and if you change your mind..." He trailed off and gazed down at her, wanting to know that she understood.
She nodded, but she couldn't meet his gaze. He kissed the top of her head again.
"I've gotta pack," he said. "Then we'll get out of here."
She nodded, but closed her eyes and clutched him weakly. "Please don't hurt me," she whispered.
She had spent the first hour of the drive in a state of nervous panic, glancing out of the back window of the car with wide, frightened eyes. The Queen of Hearts playing card was tucked against her palm and he'd seen her running her thumb across it now and then.
He had tried to calm her down with useless conversation about the weather and the fact that Christmas decorations were still scattered about in store windows and on lamp posts. He'd apologised for the lack of a radio in the car – the heater worked, at least, but the radio could never put out any sound except mild static. He'd explained that he'd driven all over the place, looking for her. A car was the cheapest and easiest transport he could find, given all the travelling he had to do, but he still felt guilty every time he got behind the wheel. He had never been able to forget the various smog-related missions the Planeteers had been sent on.
Eventually his inane chatter had calmed her down, and now she slept peacefully, her head resting against the window and her face blissfully smooth and calm. She slept through the first stop for gas, and the quick, muttered phone call he had put in to Mishka, which really only consisted of the sentence Get to Sankt-Peterburg as soon as you can.
She slept through the panic-inducing moment the car slipped on a patch of black ice and fishtailed wildly. She slept through the coughing fit Wheeler had after he hit a pothole and swallowed a peppermint tic-tac without expecting to. She slept through the flashing patches of streetlights as he entered yet another town and continued straight through on the way back to his tiny apartment in St Petersburg.
Now and then he'd reach over and brush her jacket with his fingertips, just to make sure she was really there. He listened to the hiss of the car's tyres on the wet road and Linka's gentle breathing and he sighed happily, hardly able to believe that she was sitting beside him after all of these years, and that his search for her had finally ended.
He remembered the day he'd finally decided to come to Russia. He smiled to himself.
Feels like a lifetime ago...
Wheeler blinked and lifted his head. The afternoon sun streamed in through the window, hot and yellow. He groaned and took a swig from the cold coffee on his desk, washing the stale, bitter taste of cigarettes away. He had a pounding headache, which he instantly blamed upon the intense heat of the sun, blazing in through the dusty panes of glass.
He realised what had woken him – his cell phone was buzzing wildly in his pocket. He squinted at the screen and sighed.
"Hey."
"Hi!" Gi said brightly. "How are you?"
"Tired," he muttered, rubbing his hand over his face. Three days worth of stubble graced his jaw.
"Not sleeping?" Gi asked sympathetically.
"Hmph," he said noncommittally. "How're you?"
"Hmph," she answered.
"Like that, is it?" he asked, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. "What's up, then? Spill it."
She paused for what seemed to be a long time. "Jin wants to get tests done," she whispered. "I don't want to."
"Tests?" he asked, feeling more awake suddenly. "Like what?"
"What do you think?" she asked, sounding exasperated. "We've been trying to conceive for a year and nothing's happened. I'm gonna be poked and prodded by all sorts of people to find out if there's something wrong with me."
"Oh, Gi," he said in dismay. "I'm sure it's nothing. I'm sure – I mean – sometimes it just takes a while for some people. Doesn't it?"
"I don't know," she answered miserably. "We had a bit of an argument about it."
"Another one?" he challenged.
"This was different," she insisted. "I said I wanted to go back to work for a bit and he lost it. Said that any extra stress would make things harder."
"Did you tell him you're feeling stressed at home?" Wheeler asked.
"No."
"Well you should," he said instantly.
"How are your stress levels?" she countered. "I hope you're okay."
"I'm fine," he answered breezily. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You know very well," Gi answered, not bothering with any bullshit. "Amy's gone."
He felt a familiar pang of grief in his chest. "Thanks for reminding me," he muttered.
"So what are you going to do now?" Gi asked.
"Enjoy bachelorhood," he said bitterly. "I don't know. What the hell am I supposed to do?"
"Go and find Linka," she explained patiently. "Put it to rest, one way or the other."
Grief and anger wrenched at him. "Don't," he snapped. "I don't want to talk about her."
"You think about her all the time!" Gi cried. "At the very least, you need to get some closure. Find her and decide what to do next. Not knowing where she is or what she's doing is going to destroy you."
He bit his lip, barely keeping back a bitter retort. Deep down, he knew she was right. It was destroying him. It had sure as hell destroyed his relationship with Amy. He was still in love with a girl he hadn't seen in six and a half years, and Amy had grown tired of waiting for him to forget.
"She's probably married by now," he said, running his fingers along the edge of his desk.
"So go and find out," Gi answered patiently. "You can write while you're overseas, right? It might be harder to research some of the stories, but I'm sure there are issues in Russia you can write about. And you know the basics of the language, thanks to Amy."
"The bare bones of it," he scoffed. "I can say hello and goodbye, and a huge list of swear words. That's about it."
"You know more than that," she said frankly. "A lot more. Enough to get by. And being immersed in a language is always the best way to learn."
"You've gotten bossier since you got married," he muttered.
She laughed. "No, I haven't. I lose my arguments with Jin all the time."
"Well, you win them with me," he said. "If that's any consolation."
"A little," she admitted. "You're going to go, right?"
His mind raced. He supposed he could go – at least try to find Mishka. Shame had always prevented him from trying to contact Linka's brother. If Mishka knew what Wheeler and Gi had done, Wheeler had no doubt he'd have his face punched in. But maybe he deserved that. Hell, he did deserve that. And he'd gladly take it if it meant he could find out where Linka had gone.
"Yeah," he said eventually. "I'm gonna go to Russia and I'm gonna find Linka. Even if it's just to find out she still hates me." He ran his hand across his rough cheek. "Not knowing is worse than anything."
Linka lifted her head and blinked groggily as the car slowed. "Sankt-Peterburg?" she asked, her voice still husky with sleep.
"Not yet," Wheeler answered. "I've gotta get some gas." He stopped the car and sighed, giving her a tired smile. "Want to get out and stretch your legs?"
She nodded, but she was nervous. She couldn't help it – she was terrified that Viktor had somehow followed them and was waiting for the right moment to come and hurt her again.
She followed Wheeler out of the car and stood at his side, shivering as her body tried to adjust to the icy night air.
"We won't be home for another two or three hours," Wheeler said.
She blinked in surprise. "I have been asleep for so long," she said, feeling a little embarrassed. "I did not mean to..."
He shook his head and leaned against the car as he held the fuel pump. "It's okay," he said. "You feel better?"
She shrugged and hugged her arms across her chest. "It is cold out here," she said after a moment.
"Get back in the car," he murmured, brushing her cheek with a light fingertip. "Warmer in there."
She shook her head and stepped closer to him, and he lifted his arm so she could huddle against his side. He kissed her brow and they stood there until the gas tank was full.
"Come on," he sighed. "Stretch your legs, take a bathroom break, and we'll grab a coffee and hit the road again. We'll be home in no time."
She looked at him apologetically. "You are so tired," she said.
"I'm fine," he answered. "Honestly. I'll sleep when I get home, but right now, I'm okay." He kissed her softly, brushing his lips against hers. "It's worth it," he promised.
She gave him a timid, embarrassed smile, and he took her hand and they walked together towards the lit-up convenience store.
