Nabiki - Master of Anything Goes
Nabiki - Master of Anything Goes[R]
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson
Summary: Ranma made another bet with Nabiki? Won't he ever learn? Well, at least this time it's a bet on an Anything Goes Martial Arts fight between Ranma and Nabiki. Surely our pig-tailed hero is capable of defeating Nabiki, 'aint he? Will this be the one time Ranma actually manages to one-up Nabiki?
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, the characters and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were! The story is mine though, all mine. This series deals with mature subject matters and violence. If this disturbs you, don't read. But if it does, then why the heck are you watching the show/reading the manga in the first place?
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as iamhawkyahoo.com, more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at http:www.hawksgalaxy.com or by clicking on my handle up above if you're reading this on fanfiction.net.
"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV
Previously, on 'Nabiki - Master of Anything Goes'
"Ranma... You really are breaking the engagement to Akane?" Nabiki inquired as he reached for the door-handle.
"Yeah..." Ranma said, leaning against the door. "There's no way I'm marrying her now." he added in a firm tone of voice.
"What... What happened?" Nabiki asked, though she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know, considering how upset Ranma seemed to be.
"Ask her." was all he said, then he walked out of the little office in their massage parlor, leaving Nabiki alone with her thoughts.
Roll credits
Chapter Four:
"All right, everybody. I have something to say." Ranma announced at the breakfast table, standing up to address the entire family.
"My daughter is getting married!" Soun exclaimed, leaping up from his seat with an ecstatic look on his face. "Oh, Akane! I'm so happy for you!" he managed to get out, before he hoisted Akane up into a fierce bear-hug and broke down in tears.
Which did not prevent him from spinning his increasingly annoyed daughter around, showering her with both tears and affection, as well as making her dizzy.
"The schools will finally be united!" Genma proclaimed, then dove for the cupboard where the Sake was kept, all too eager to celebrate the happy occasion.
"My son!" Nodoka gushed, clasping her hands together. She had wondered why Ranma had asked her to come over and now it was all clear. Her darling son was getting married! "You are so manly!" she praised him.
"SILENCE!" Ranma bellowed. "That is not it!" he continued and darted over to Genma, tossing him back towards his place at the table before he could get his hands on the Sake. "What I have to say, is that I'm NOT going to marry Akane. Not now, not in a month, not after we graduate, not ever!"
"Are you telling me that my daughter isn't good enough for you?!" Soun demanded, appearing before Ranma so quickly that one might almost suspect teleportation. Akane had been left behind, dizzily swaying back and forth as she wiped her face dry of Soun's tears with a towel that Kasumi had generously provided her with the moment she was out of Souns arms.
"Stop this nonsense, foolish boy!" Genma snorted. "You are getting married to Akane, you have no say in the matter."
"Really, Ranma. This is most unma..." Nodoka started to say, but Ranma interrupted her.
"I don't think any of you really understand what I'm saying here." Ranma growled out, silencing everybody around the table as his battle aura flared into existence, an angry fiery red one which made everybody back off a few steps from him. Soun did so while frantically patting himself down, as his Gi had started to smoke and his hair curl up from the heat. "I am not marrying Akane. If I have to renounce my name and my family to accomplish that... Then. So. Be. It." he continued in a normal speaking volume, though without even one speck of emotion creeping into his voice.
Nodoka gasped, her eyes bulging out as her son threatened to give up his name. Genma visibly paled. Soun managed a half-hearted demon-head, but the demonic head was crying instead of doing it's usual rant. Kasumi 'eep':ed and 'oh my':ed over and over again. Nabiki didn't seem at all surprised, which she really wasn't. She had been told about this beforehand, after all.
Everybody's eyes turned towards Akane, who had now seated herself and sat with her head bent down, looking at the floor in front of her knees. Her hands were resting on her thighs, grasping her skirt in grips of iron and her mouth was one thin, narrow line.
"Yeah." Akane finally said, her voice raspy with emotion. "I thought as much..." she added in a faint voice, then slowly got into an upright position. She looked up at Ranma and adopted a contrite expression, regret nearly blazing from her eyes. "I'm... Sorry... So sorry, Ranma... I know... I know it doesn't cut it, but... I'm sorry."
Flashback Sequence
It wasn't even anything unusual that started it. Akane didn't act any differently from how she usually did. She had done similar things before, many times before, as a matter of fact. No, what was different, was Ranma.
Though Akane knew that Ranma now spent a great deal of time around Nabiki due to loosing the bet with her, she hadn't been aware of the nature of their relationship. She had believed it to be one of master-slave, she hadn't expected the teacher-student bit and the changes that brought about thus came as a complete surprise to her.
In the last month, he'd interacted more with Nabiki in one week then he had during his entire stay before loosing that bet. As a result, he had to learn very quickly how to stand up for himself against a woman. Akane had noticed changes, but hadn't spent enough time with Ranma lately to really get a feel for how large the changes he'd gone through were.
She had noticed that he now spent more attention in class, that he actually seemed to do his homework, sometimes even without her reminding him to do it. She had noticed that the insults she usually received, came less and less frequently. She had noticed that Ukyo and Shampoo had turned less aggressive around him and more friendly towards each other.
Without Ukyo clinging to him like a slut, Shampoo glomping him like a whore on speed and Ranma himself not sprouting insults left and right, she had been getting along pretty decently with him lately, as long as she managed to ignore the fact that both Nabiki and Kasumi got frequent massages from him.
As did the greater part of middle and upper class Nerima, if the rumors were true. Ranma had even offered her one, but she had turned him down with a blush, a shout of pervert and a slap to the face. She regretted that now, as enough of her friends had gotten massages and assured her that Ranma was a complete gentleman during the entire process, but hadn't been able to bring herself to apologize and request a massage of her own just yet.
But she figured that a good start would be to make some food for Ranma. He was an enthusiastic eater, loved great food and after all, didn't they say that the way to a mans heart was through his stomach?
Akane turned starry-eyed as she imagined Ranma calmly and politely, obviously savoring every single bite, reducing the bento she had made for him into nothing but a hollowed-out empty shell of it's former self. As her imagination displayed Ranma slowly wiping his mouth with the hankie the box had come wrapped in, standing up and leaning in over her, a blush spread over her face. The image was dispelled before their lips met, but that only made her all the more determined to make it happen in real life.
She strolled over towards his desk, where he was sitting and reading his English text book, his pen adorably sticking out of his mouth, dipping up and down as he pondered the book in front of him.
"Ranma. I made you lunch!" Akane cheerfully announced and watched as the pen fell to the desk and Ranma looked up at her, then down at the bento in her hands.
"How... Ah... Nice of you." Ranma responded, an unreadable expression on his face.
Her daydream was already becoming real! He didn't insult her or anything! He must somehow have sensed how much her cooking had improved and the odd expression on his face must mean that he was very eager to try out her cooking. She wouldn't disappoint him.
"Here you are!" she chirped cheerfully, putting the bento down on his desk, beaming down at him as he didn't even shy away from it, as he usually did.
"Uh. ... Akane... Did you actually taste this one?" Ranma inquired weakly.
"Nuh-uh." Akane cheerfully responded, a wide smile on her lips. He was interested in her cooking methods, her special secrets! He already knew how good it was and wanted to find out how she had done it!
"You do remember what Kasumi said about always tasting your cooking, both as you're cooking and after you think you're finished?" Ranma asked.
"Yes. She was very helpful." Akane agreed.
"So, why didn't you taste it like she said?" Ranma hesitantly inquired and Akane started to get somewhat annoyed. Why was he wasting all this time talking about food, when he should just eat it?
"I know what I'm doing. I don't need to taste it to know that it's good." Akane announced.
"Even Kasumi needs to taste her food, to be certain that it's good and she has been doing it for much longer then you have." Ranma countered. "Do you believe that you're a better cook then Kasumi?" he argued.
"Well... No, but..." Akane hesitantly answered, wondering just what was wrong here. Why was he doing this, saying these things. Why wasn't he eating her delicious dinner?
"So, you agree that Kasumi, is a better cook then you? But Kasumi still has to taste her own cooking to be certain that it's okay? Then why don't you? After all, she's the better cook, but she still can't be certain that her cooking is okay? Then, how can you be so sure?" Ranma continued and Akane blinked several times. Was... Was Ranma winning an debate? Against her? No, no. No. Surely not. She was imagining things.
"I... I just do." Akane responded uncertainly, then drew herself up and straightened her back. "Stop wasting time talking, Ranma. Why don't you just try it?" she inquired.
"Why don't you try it?" Ranma countered. "After all, Kasumi tries her own cooking before serving it. You should as well." he continued and unwrapped the bento, opening it and holding it out towards her. "Kasumi does it." he repeated and Akane grew uncertain, staring at the chopsticks he was offering her.
Kasumi did try her own cooking, didn't she? Akane had seen her do it lots of times. She never understood the point of it, Kasumi's cooking was always delicious, so why wasting her time with all that tasting?
Kasumi was a good cook, a great cook. Akane knew that. Perhaps there was something to what Ranma was saying?
Naw, what was she thinking. This was Ranma!
"Well, if you don't want to try it... Daisuke, here!" Akane cheerfully announced, grabbed the chopsticks and stuck a piece of daikon into Daisukes open mouth. It had first seemed as if he was on the verge of saying something, protesting against something, but she must be imagining things. No doubt he opened it to accept the delicious treat she was offering him.
"Akane, no!" Ranma protested, jumping out of his seat.
"GAH!" Daisuke protested, his face turning into an unhealthy-looking color, sweat appearing on his forehead and his eyes bulging out of their sockets. "Gah!" he repeated, then blinked, froze and put a hand to his mouth. "Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, dear... Oh... Oh man! Outta the way! Coming through!" he continued, then shot into motion, streaking through the classroom and out of the door, heading towards the little boys room.
"Ranma! It's bad enough when you do it yourself, you don't have to put your friends up to these stupid games!" Akane shouted, stomping her foot on the floor.
"Huh? I didn't..." Ranma started to protest, but was cut off.
"There is nothing wrong with my cooking!" Akane insisted, spun around and focused her gaze on Sayuri, who suddenly paled and leaned back, away from Akane. "Don't worry, Sayuri. Ranma and Daisuke are just being assholes, I'm a great cook!" she said and approached Sayuri, snatching up a tempura shrimp from the box.
"Akane, I'm sorry. But this is for your own good." Ranma suddenly announced, then Akane gasped as he grasped her nose and face, pulled back and forced her mouth open, then threw the shrimp into Akane's own mouth.
"Ptoi!" Akane instantly spat it out, her tongue stung and there was a bitter taste in her entire mouth. What had that stupid jerk done to her food?! "Ranma! What did you put on that? It tasted awful!"
"Everything you cook besides Curry taste awful, Akane." Ranma sighed. "Perhaps it's the industrial cleaning agents, perhaps it's the splinters off the chopping board, perhaps it's the baking soda. I don't know and I do not want to know. But the only thing you have ever made that was even remotely edible, is your Curry. The rest of it is just plain awful. I don't think there's anyone other then Ryoga and myself who has the kind of iron stomachs that we can force it down without causing permanent injury to ourselves." he continued, then forced Akane into her own seat, putting the bento down in front of her.
"You've never really seemed to grasp the fact that you're a horrible cook or that I haven't been kidding. So... Like I said, Akane. I'm sorry, but this is for your own good." Ranma stated, then claimed the chopsticks and started feeding her!
Akane had never been that humiliated in her entire life. Everything he forced into her mouth tasted just plain awful, she couldn't force herself to swallow a single bite, but actually had to spit it out the moment it came into her mouth.
Her protests did her no good. She tried to slap him, but he dodged everything she threw at him, then finally used a few pressure points that paralyzed her arms completely. When she refused to open her mouth, he forced it open. She tried to kick him, but he danced out of the way.
It would have been bad enough if he had done it in private, but most of the class was there to witness the whole mess!
When he finally relented, having forced at least one bite of everything she had made into her own mouth, he stepped away and returned her arms to normal. Akane fumed, sitting as she did in the middle of a half-circle of food she had spat out. Her food. Her delicious food, all of it ruined.
She didn't know how he had done it, but the jerk had to have done something to her bento to ruin it!
"RRrrrraaaanma!" she bellowed and bolted out of her seat. "You jerk!" Akane shrieked, then attempted to slap him, only to have him quite calmly block it with a negligent half-hearted gesture. "What the hell did you do to my bento? Why did you have to go and ruin it?"
"You're an awful cook, Akane. The sooner you realize it, the better for you." Ranma stated.
"You fiend! You jerk! You idiot! You asshole!" Akane shouted and their classmates started to back away from them, teachers coming over to see what was going on. The sound of his precious tigress in distress even attracted Kuno Tatewaki, the True Blunder of Furinkan High. "I hate you! I hate you!"
"Akane. It's for your own good. Not to mention the household accounts. Do you know how expensive it is to restock the kitchen, laundry room and cleaning closet every time you cook?" Ranma inquired and this was the final nail in the coffin. Now the jerk was starting to talk with her about money, as if he was some sort of Nabiki junior! "I don't even know why you insist on raiding the laundry room or cleaning closet for ingredients, you ever see Kasumi using anything from any of those places in her cooking?!" he continued, finally starting to loose his cool. Up until now, he'd managed to keep a tight rein on his temper, but it was starting to slip.
"Shut up, you asshole! You're not even half a man, you freak! Your damn father is more human then you are, despite the fact that his curse turns him into an animal instead of a girl!" Akane shouted and tried to slap him again, only to be blocked once again. The mallet came out, only to be snatched away and tossed aside as if the imposing weapon wasn't even a threat. But the one thing he couldn't stop, was words. And the words were having an impact on him, she could see that. Where slaps, fists, kicks and mallets couldn't hurt him, words could. And if that was the case, then by the Kami, she would hit him where it hurt.
"That's right, you freak. You inhuman perverted monster." Akane spat out. "I hate you." she informed him, enjoying the brief look of pain on his face as he cringed at her words. "Do you see him, Kuno? Do you see the 'man' in front of you? Do you want to know who he is? No, what he is? He's a freak, a freak who turns into a girl when he's splashed with cold water. And not just any old girl either, oh no! He turns into your precious little pig-tailed goddess!" Akane revealed, taking a great amount of pleasure out of hearing Kuno's startled gasp, as well as Ranma's pained expression at her revelation.
Coming as it did from the mouth of his fierce tigress, Kuno had no choice but to accept her words as the truth.
"Truly? The fiend Saotome is the pig-tailed goddess?" Kuno inquired, needing to have the incredible statement confirmed.
"Yes. The girl you have been lusting after, is none other then Saotome Ranma. The freak." Akane spat out. "Even you make a better match then this freak, whom I've somehow gotten engaged to!" she finished, causing Ranma to flinch once again and something in his eyes, a brief glimmer of light which somehow only appeared when he was looking at her, to flicker briefly and then die out. For some reason she couldn't quite understand, Akane suddenly felt cold, alone. As if something precious had just been taken away from her.
"Akane." Ranma said.
"Yeah, pervert? What is it?" she snarled in response, burying that intense feeling of loss that had come over her just now in a red haze of fury.
"Ryoga is P-Chan. He has a Jusenkyo curse as well. You've been sleeping with Ryoga in your bed, undressed with Ryoga watching and taken baths with Ryoga watching." Ranma informed her in a cold voice. "Now who's the pervert?" he inquired, then quite calmly walked over to his desk, grabbed his bag, packed away his books and left the room through the window, jumping down to the schoolyard before anyone could see him starting to cry.
Leaving behind an open-mouthed Akane, who had been stunned speechless by Ranma's revelation.
End of Flashback Sequence
"Don't be ridiculous, boy. It's just another one of the silly arguments you love-birds have all the time, you'll make up and be back on the marriage track in no time flat." Genma snorted dismissively. He was still somewhat pale, but appeared to have mostly recovered from the shock of Ranma's earlier announcement. "Right? Right?!" he added, sidling up to Ranma and wrapping a fatherly arm around his sons shoulders. "Have you forgotten the contract, foolish boy?! Tell everybody that it was just a joke! Quick!" he hissed through the corner of his mouth, tightening the grip around Ranma's shoulders.
"Not this time, pops." Ranma replied icily. "Give it up. It's over between me and Akane."
"Fool!" Genma snarled under his breath, then looked over at Akane. No help there, the girl was a mess, just barely managing to prevent herself from succumbing into a sobbing mess. Nodoka was fingering her sword, clearly undecided in regards of what to do about the current situation. Soun was still sobbing, his demon-head slowly fading away as he no longer fed any Ki into the illusion. Kasumi looked somewhat ruffled, but silently observed the scene with a mildly disturbed smile. Nabiki was impassively observing matters, as if they were of no concern whatsoever to her. "Well, no great loss. Tendo still has two other beautiful daughters that can marry you and fulfil the sacred oath between the Tendo and Saotome family." he pressed on, turning Ranma around to face Nabiki and Kasumi in turn. If he worked quickly, perhaps Nodoka wouldn't put that sword to use or insist that he actually go through with that ridiculous promise! "So, who will it be, son?" he asked, removing his arm and backing off a few steps to observe his son.
Ranma sighed, looking over at Nabiki, but found no support there. She was silently observing the scene and her expression never changed as he looked over at her. He looked over at Kasumi, meeting her gaze and looking into her eyes. Her expression gave away no more then Nabiki's did and her eyes revealed nothing further that was of any help to him.
"Well, I know Nabiki's position on the matter already." Ranma commented. "How about you, Kasumi? Could you ever consider marrying a freak like me?" he inquired.
"I do not think that you are a freak, Ranma, and you should not refer to yourself as such." Kasumi gently chided him. "You are a confused young man, carrying a weighty burden while being unfairly pressured by various parties. You're uncouth, brash, somewhat arrogant and would do well to consider your words before letting them out of your mouth. But you're not a freak." she went on, then smiled gently at him as he appeared to grow more dejected by every word out of her mouth. "You are also honorable, extremely loyal, kind, dedicated, forgiving and one of the most interesting men it has ever been my privilege to meet." she continued and stood up, walking over in order to take his two callused hands in hers. "In order to fulfill the agreement between the Tendo and Saotome families, I, Tendo Kasumi, will accept the engagement." she announced.
Ranma's heart nearly broke as she looked up at him, a gentle smile on her lips and a broken look in her eyes. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then opened his eyes again intending to give up his name in order to prevent this marvelous young woman from being stuck in a marriage with a man she did not love. He opened his mouth, but closed it again as Kasumi put her right index finger against his lips, silencing him before he had a chance to speak.
"Let me do this for you, Ranma." Kasumi mouthed and retracted her finger from his lips. "Please?" she mouthed again, her back blocking the view of her face from their respective families. Only Ranma could see what she was doing.
Ranma opened and closed his mouth several times, his mind a whirling mess of conflicting thoughts and emotions. He closed his eyes again, forcing his mind to focus and then opened then again. He was about to refuse again, when he happened to glance at Kasumi again and saw her eyes pleading with him as she mouthed 'Please?' again.
"In order to fulfill the agreement between the Tendo and Saotome families, I, Saotome Ranma, will accept the engagement." he announced in a clear and determined voice, though his eyes revealed that he was anything but.
The End! ( For now... )
Evil-Minded Cliff-Hanger-Lovin' Demented Hawkieboy Speaks Up
'Aint I a stinker? ;D
Just think how much fun ya'll have bitin' your nails while waiting for my next update now!
Evil Author Trails Off Into Disturbing Manical Chuckles
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2, the characters and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were! The story is mine though, all mine. This series deals with mature subject matters and violence. If this disturbs you, don't read. But if it does, then why the heck are you watching the show/reading the manga in the first place?
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as iamhawkyahoo.com, more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at http:www.hawksgalaxy.com or by clicking on my handle up above if you're reading this on fanfiction.net.
"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV
"Ranma... You really are breaking the engagement to Akane?" Nabiki inquired as he reached for the door-handle.
"Yeah..." Ranma said, leaning against the door. "There's no way I'm marrying her now." he added in a firm tone of voice.
"What... What happened?" Nabiki asked, though she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know, considering how upset Ranma seemed to be.
"Ask her." was all he said, then he walked out of the little office in their massage parlor, leaving Nabiki alone with her thoughts.
"All right, everybody. I have something to say." Ranma announced at the breakfast table, standing up to address the entire family.
"My daughter is getting married!" Soun exclaimed, leaping up from his seat with an ecstatic look on his face. "Oh, Akane! I'm so happy for you!" he managed to get out, before he hoisted Akane up into a fierce bear-hug and broke down in tears.
Which did not prevent him from spinning his increasingly annoyed daughter around, showering her with both tears and affection, as well as making her dizzy.
"The schools will finally be united!" Genma proclaimed, then dove for the cupboard where the Sake was kept, all too eager to celebrate the happy occasion.
"My son!" Nodoka gushed, clasping her hands together. She had wondered why Ranma had asked her to come over and now it was all clear. Her darling son was getting married! "You are so manly!" she praised him.
"SILENCE!" Ranma bellowed. "That is not it!" he continued and darted over to Genma, tossing him back towards his place at the table before he could get his hands on the Sake. "What I have to say, is that I'm NOT going to marry Akane. Not now, not in a month, not after we graduate, not ever!"
"Are you telling me that my daughter isn't good enough for you?!" Soun demanded, appearing before Ranma so quickly that one might almost suspect teleportation. Akane had been left behind, dizzily swaying back and forth as she wiped her face dry of Soun's tears with a towel that Kasumi had generously provided her with the moment she was out of Souns arms.
"Stop this nonsense, foolish boy!" Genma snorted. "You are getting married to Akane, you have no say in the matter."
"Really, Ranma. This is most unma..." Nodoka started to say, but Ranma interrupted her.
"I don't think any of you really understand what I'm saying here." Ranma growled out, silencing everybody around the table as his battle aura flared into existence, an angry fiery red one which made everybody back off a few steps from him. Soun did so while frantically patting himself down, as his Gi had started to smoke and his hair curl up from the heat. "I am not marrying Akane. If I have to renounce my name and my family to accomplish that... Then. So. Be. It." he continued in a normal speaking volume, though without even one speck of emotion creeping into his voice.
Nodoka gasped, her eyes bulging out as her son threatened to give up his name. Genma visibly paled. Soun managed a half-hearted demon-head, but the demonic head was crying instead of doing it's usual rant. Kasumi 'eep':ed and 'oh my':ed over and over again. Nabiki didn't seem at all surprised, which she really wasn't. She had been told about this beforehand, after all.
Everybody's eyes turned towards Akane, who had now seated herself and sat with her head bent down, looking at the floor in front of her knees. Her hands were resting on her thighs, grasping her skirt in grips of iron and her mouth was one thin, narrow line.
"Yeah." Akane finally said, her voice raspy with emotion. "I thought as much..." she added in a faint voice, then slowly got into an upright position. She looked up at Ranma and adopted a contrite expression, regret nearly blazing from her eyes. "I'm... Sorry... So sorry, Ranma... I know... I know it doesn't cut it, but... I'm sorry."
It wasn't even anything unusual that started it. Akane didn't act any differently from how she usually did. She had done similar things before, many times before, as a matter of fact. No, what was different, was Ranma.
Though Akane knew that Ranma now spent a great deal of time around Nabiki due to loosing the bet with her, she hadn't been aware of the nature of their relationship. She had believed it to be one of master-slave, she hadn't expected the teacher-student bit and the changes that brought about thus came as a complete surprise to her.
In the last month, he'd interacted more with Nabiki in one week then he had during his entire stay before loosing that bet. As a result, he had to learn very quickly how to stand up for himself against a woman. Akane had noticed changes, but hadn't spent enough time with Ranma lately to really get a feel for how large the changes he'd gone through were.
She had noticed that he now spent more attention in class, that he actually seemed to do his homework, sometimes even without her reminding him to do it. She had noticed that the insults she usually received, came less and less frequently. She had noticed that Ukyo and Shampoo had turned less aggressive around him and more friendly towards each other.
Without Ukyo clinging to him like a slut, Shampoo glomping him like a whore on speed and Ranma himself not sprouting insults left and right, she had been getting along pretty decently with him lately, as long as she managed to ignore the fact that both Nabiki and Kasumi got frequent massages from him.
As did the greater part of middle and upper class Nerima, if the rumors were true. Ranma had even offered her one, but she had turned him down with a blush, a shout of pervert and a slap to the face. She regretted that now, as enough of her friends had gotten massages and assured her that Ranma was a complete gentleman during the entire process, but hadn't been able to bring herself to apologize and request a massage of her own just yet.
But she figured that a good start would be to make some food for Ranma. He was an enthusiastic eater, loved great food and after all, didn't they say that the way to a mans heart was through his stomach?
Akane turned starry-eyed as she imagined Ranma calmly and politely, obviously savoring every single bite, reducing the bento she had made for him into nothing but a hollowed-out empty shell of it's former self. As her imagination displayed Ranma slowly wiping his mouth with the hankie the box had come wrapped in, standing up and leaning in over her, a blush spread over her face. The image was dispelled before their lips met, but that only made her all the more determined to make it happen in real life.
She strolled over towards his desk, where he was sitting and reading his English text book, his pen adorably sticking out of his mouth, dipping up and down as he pondered the book in front of him.
"Ranma. I made you lunch!" Akane cheerfully announced and watched as the pen fell to the desk and Ranma looked up at her, then down at the bento in her hands.
"How... Ah... Nice of you." Ranma responded, an unreadable expression on his face.
Her daydream was already becoming real! He didn't insult her or anything! He must somehow have sensed how much her cooking had improved and the odd expression on his face must mean that he was very eager to try out her cooking. She wouldn't disappoint him.
"Here you are!" she chirped cheerfully, putting the bento down on his desk, beaming down at him as he didn't even shy away from it, as he usually did.
"Uh. ... Akane... Did you actually taste this one?" Ranma inquired weakly.
"Nuh-uh." Akane cheerfully responded, a wide smile on her lips. He was interested in her cooking methods, her special secrets! He already knew how good it was and wanted to find out how she had done it!
"You do remember what Kasumi said about always tasting your cooking, both as you're cooking and after you think you're finished?" Ranma asked.
"Yes. She was very helpful." Akane agreed.
"So, why didn't you taste it like she said?" Ranma hesitantly inquired and Akane started to get somewhat annoyed. Why was he wasting all this time talking about food, when he should just eat it?
"I know what I'm doing. I don't need to taste it to know that it's good." Akane announced.
"Even Kasumi needs to taste her food, to be certain that it's good and she has been doing it for much longer then you have." Ranma countered. "Do you believe that you're a better cook then Kasumi?" he argued.
"Well... No, but..." Akane hesitantly answered, wondering just what was wrong here. Why was he doing this, saying these things. Why wasn't he eating her delicious dinner?
"So, you agree that Kasumi, is a better cook then you? But Kasumi still has to taste her own cooking to be certain that it's okay? Then why don't you? After all, she's the better cook, but she still can't be certain that her cooking is okay? Then, how can you be so sure?" Ranma continued and Akane blinked several times. Was... Was Ranma winning an debate? Against her? No, no. No. Surely not. She was imagining things.
"I... I just do." Akane responded uncertainly, then drew herself up and straightened her back. "Stop wasting time talking, Ranma. Why don't you just try it?" she inquired.
"Why don't you try it?" Ranma countered. "After all, Kasumi tries her own cooking before serving it. You should as well." he continued and unwrapped the bento, opening it and holding it out towards her. "Kasumi does it." he repeated and Akane grew uncertain, staring at the chopsticks he was offering her.
Kasumi did try her own cooking, didn't she? Akane had seen her do it lots of times. She never understood the point of it, Kasumi's cooking was always delicious, so why wasting her time with all that tasting?
Kasumi was a good cook, a great cook. Akane knew that. Perhaps there was something to what Ranma was saying?
Naw, what was she thinking. This was Ranma!
"Well, if you don't want to try it... Daisuke, here!" Akane cheerfully announced, grabbed the chopsticks and stuck a piece of daikon into Daisukes open mouth. It had first seemed as if he was on the verge of saying something, protesting against something, but she must be imagining things. No doubt he opened it to accept the delicious treat she was offering him.
"Akane, no!" Ranma protested, jumping out of his seat.
"GAH!" Daisuke protested, his face turning into an unhealthy-looking color, sweat appearing on his forehead and his eyes bulging out of their sockets. "Gah!" he repeated, then blinked, froze and put a hand to his mouth. "Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, dear... Oh... Oh man! Outta the way! Coming through!" he continued, then shot into motion, streaking through the classroom and out of the door, heading towards the little boys room.
"Ranma! It's bad enough when you do it yourself, you don't have to put your friends up to these stupid games!" Akane shouted, stomping her foot on the floor.
"Huh? I didn't..." Ranma started to protest, but was cut off.
"There is nothing wrong with my cooking!" Akane insisted, spun around and focused her gaze on Sayuri, who suddenly paled and leaned back, away from Akane. "Don't worry, Sayuri. Ranma and Daisuke are just being assholes, I'm a great cook!" she said and approached Sayuri, snatching up a tempura shrimp from the box.
"Akane, I'm sorry. But this is for your own good." Ranma suddenly announced, then Akane gasped as he grasped her nose and face, pulled back and forced her mouth open, then threw the shrimp into Akane's own mouth.
"Ptoi!" Akane instantly spat it out, her tongue stung and there was a bitter taste in her entire mouth. What had that stupid jerk done to her food?! "Ranma! What did you put on that? It tasted awful!"
"Everything you cook besides Curry taste awful, Akane." Ranma sighed. "Perhaps it's the industrial cleaning agents, perhaps it's the splinters off the chopping board, perhaps it's the baking soda. I don't know and I do not want to know. But the only thing you have ever made that was even remotely edible, is your Curry. The rest of it is just plain awful. I don't think there's anyone other then Ryoga and myself who has the kind of iron stomachs that we can force it down without causing permanent injury to ourselves." he continued, then forced Akane into her own seat, putting the bento down in front of her.
"You've never really seemed to grasp the fact that you're a horrible cook or that I haven't been kidding. So... Like I said, Akane. I'm sorry, but this is for your own good." Ranma stated, then claimed the chopsticks and started feeding her!
Akane had never been that humiliated in her entire life. Everything he forced into her mouth tasted just plain awful, she couldn't force herself to swallow a single bite, but actually had to spit it out the moment it came into her mouth.
Her protests did her no good. She tried to slap him, but he dodged everything she threw at him, then finally used a few pressure points that paralyzed her arms completely. When she refused to open her mouth, he forced it open. She tried to kick him, but he danced out of the way.
It would have been bad enough if he had done it in private, but most of the class was there to witness the whole mess!
When he finally relented, having forced at least one bite of everything she had made into her own mouth, he stepped away and returned her arms to normal. Akane fumed, sitting as she did in the middle of a half-circle of food she had spat out. Her food. Her delicious food, all of it ruined.
She didn't know how he had done it, but the jerk had to have done something to her bento to ruin it!
"RRrrrraaaanma!" she bellowed and bolted out of her seat. "You jerk!" Akane shrieked, then attempted to slap him, only to have him quite calmly block it with a negligent half-hearted gesture. "What the hell did you do to my bento? Why did you have to go and ruin it?"
"You're an awful cook, Akane. The sooner you realize it, the better for you." Ranma stated.
"You fiend! You jerk! You idiot! You asshole!" Akane shouted and their classmates started to back away from them, teachers coming over to see what was going on. The sound of his precious tigress in distress even attracted Kuno Tatewaki, the True Blunder of Furinkan High. "I hate you! I hate you!"
"Akane. It's for your own good. Not to mention the household accounts. Do you know how expensive it is to restock the kitchen, laundry room and cleaning closet every time you cook?" Ranma inquired and this was the final nail in the coffin. Now the jerk was starting to talk with her about money, as if he was some sort of Nabiki junior! "I don't even know why you insist on raiding the laundry room or cleaning closet for ingredients, you ever see Kasumi using anything from any of those places in her cooking?!" he continued, finally starting to loose his cool. Up until now, he'd managed to keep a tight rein on his temper, but it was starting to slip.
"Shut up, you asshole! You're not even half a man, you freak! Your damn father is more human then you are, despite the fact that his curse turns him into an animal instead of a girl!" Akane shouted and tried to slap him again, only to be blocked once again. The mallet came out, only to be snatched away and tossed aside as if the imposing weapon wasn't even a threat. But the one thing he couldn't stop, was words. And the words were having an impact on him, she could see that. Where slaps, fists, kicks and mallets couldn't hurt him, words could. And if that was the case, then by the Kami, she would hit him where it hurt.
"That's right, you freak. You inhuman perverted monster." Akane spat out. "I hate you." she informed him, enjoying the brief look of pain on his face as he cringed at her words. "Do you see him, Kuno? Do you see the 'man' in front of you? Do you want to know who he is? No, what he is? He's a freak, a freak who turns into a girl when he's splashed with cold water. And not just any old girl either, oh no! He turns into your precious little pig-tailed goddess!" Akane revealed, taking a great amount of pleasure out of hearing Kuno's startled gasp, as well as Ranma's pained expression at her revelation.
Coming as it did from the mouth of his fierce tigress, Kuno had no choice but to accept her words as the truth.
"Truly? The fiend Saotome is the pig-tailed goddess?" Kuno inquired, needing to have the incredible statement confirmed.
"Yes. The girl you have been lusting after, is none other then Saotome Ranma. The freak." Akane spat out. "Even you make a better match then this freak, whom I've somehow gotten engaged to!" she finished, causing Ranma to flinch once again and something in his eyes, a brief glimmer of light which somehow only appeared when he was looking at her, to flicker briefly and then die out. For some reason she couldn't quite understand, Akane suddenly felt cold, alone. As if something precious had just been taken away from her.
"Akane." Ranma said.
"Yeah, pervert? What is it?" she snarled in response, burying that intense feeling of loss that had come over her just now in a red haze of fury.
"Ryoga is P-Chan. He has a Jusenkyo curse as well. You've been sleeping with Ryoga in your bed, undressed with Ryoga watching and taken baths with Ryoga watching." Ranma informed her in a cold voice. "Now who's the pervert?" he inquired, then quite calmly walked over to his desk, grabbed his bag, packed away his books and left the room through the window, jumping down to the schoolyard before anyone could see him starting to cry.
Leaving behind an open-mouthed Akane, who had been stunned speechless by Ranma's revelation.
"Don't be ridiculous, boy. It's just another one of the silly arguments you love-birds have all the time, you'll make up and be back on the marriage track in no time flat." Genma snorted dismissively. He was still somewhat pale, but appeared to have mostly recovered from the shock of Ranma's earlier announcement. "Right? Right?!" he added, sidling up to Ranma and wrapping a fatherly arm around his sons shoulders. "Have you forgotten the contract, foolish boy?! Tell everybody that it was just a joke! Quick!" he hissed through the corner of his mouth, tightening the grip around Ranma's shoulders.
"Not this time, pops." Ranma replied icily. "Give it up. It's over between me and Akane."
"Fool!" Genma snarled under his breath, then looked over at Akane. No help there, the girl was a mess, just barely managing to prevent herself from succumbing into a sobbing mess. Nodoka was fingering her sword, clearly undecided in regards of what to do about the current situation. Soun was still sobbing, his demon-head slowly fading away as he no longer fed any Ki into the illusion. Kasumi looked somewhat ruffled, but silently observed the scene with a mildly disturbed smile. Nabiki was impassively observing matters, as if they were of no concern whatsoever to her. "Well, no great loss. Tendo still has two other beautiful daughters that can marry you and fulfil the sacred oath between the Tendo and Saotome family." he pressed on, turning Ranma around to face Nabiki and Kasumi in turn. If he worked quickly, perhaps Nodoka wouldn't put that sword to use or insist that he actually go through with that ridiculous promise! "So, who will it be, son?" he asked, removing his arm and backing off a few steps to observe his son.
Ranma sighed, looking over at Nabiki, but found no support there. She was silently observing the scene and her expression never changed as he looked over at her. He looked over at Kasumi, meeting her gaze and looking into her eyes. Her expression gave away no more then Nabiki's did and her eyes revealed nothing further that was of any help to him.
"Well, I know Nabiki's position on the matter already." Ranma commented. "How about you, Kasumi? Could you ever consider marrying a freak like me?" he inquired.
"I do not think that you are a freak, Ranma, and you should not refer to yourself as such." Kasumi gently chided him. "You are a confused young man, carrying a weighty burden while being unfairly pressured by various parties. You're uncouth, brash, somewhat arrogant and would do well to consider your words before letting them out of your mouth. But you're not a freak." she went on, then smiled gently at him as he appeared to grow more dejected by every word out of her mouth. "You are also honorable, extremely loyal, kind, dedicated, forgiving and one of the most interesting men it has ever been my privilege to meet." she continued and stood up, walking over in order to take his two callused hands in hers. "In order to fulfill the agreement between the Tendo and Saotome families, I, Tendo Kasumi, will accept the engagement." she announced.
Ranma's heart nearly broke as she looked up at him, a gentle smile on her lips and a broken look in her eyes. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then opened his eyes again intending to give up his name in order to prevent this marvelous young woman from being stuck in a marriage with a man she did not love. He opened his mouth, but closed it again as Kasumi put her right index finger against his lips, silencing him before he had a chance to speak.
"Let me do this for you, Ranma." Kasumi mouthed and retracted her finger from his lips. "Please?" she mouthed again, her back blocking the view of her face from their respective families. Only Ranma could see what she was doing.
Ranma opened and closed his mouth several times, his mind a whirling mess of conflicting thoughts and emotions. He closed his eyes again, forcing his mind to focus and then opened then again. He was about to refuse again, when he happened to glance at Kasumi again and saw her eyes pleading with him as she mouthed 'Please?' again.
"In order to fulfill the agreement between the Tendo and Saotome families, I, Saotome Ranma, will accept the engagement." he announced in a clear and determined voice, though his eyes revealed that he was anything but.
The End! ( For now... )
'Aint I a stinker? ;D
Just think how much fun ya'll have bitin' your nails while waiting for my next update now!
