Chapter 4

Uriel and I hit it off swimmingly, we would talk on the phone every night and sometimes mom would let him come over to study. That rarely happened because my mom hated having people in the house when she wasn't home. No doubt by the end of first semester Uriel and I were pretty close. Slowly Dean was fading into the back of my mind. I think I was starting to like Uriel and I think he was starting to like me.

I had one more drama club practice and then I was home free for Christmas break. I was looking forward to the time off of school but not forward to the holiday at home with my mom. Holidays were always hell at home, my mom always ended up yelling all day and then getting so drunk she would camp out on the living room floor because she couldn't make it to her room. This of course left me to clean up the mess in the kitchen she left if she actually made anything edible.

Drama practice went well as it always does. Uriel's mom offered to take me home which I gladly excepted since I didn't really feel like taking the bus home. I thanked Uriel's mom and said bye to Uriel.

So it was the start of my Christmas break. Of course there was an extremely long list left for me, apparently my mother was in the holiday spirit already. I got everything done and managed to grab a shower before she came home.

Mom inspected the house as usual and then headed to her room.

Christmas came and went, I received a few presents. Mostly things I needed like a new book bag and notebooks. I couldn't complain I never really knew anything else anyways.

I made my way to my room around midnight, after I was sure everything was up to my mom standards. Sighing I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow I heard a knock on my window.

I got out of bed and peered out, and to my surprise it was Dean.

I grabbed my jacket and climbed out my window. My room was on the second floor so I had roof access which I loved. I wasn't sure how exactly Dean managed to get on my roof but I was curious. He smiled at me as I whispered "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I wanted to give you a Christmas present." He said.

"Uh…why…you barely know me and I haven't got anything for you." I whispered.

"Cas…I've been wanting to do this for a while now. Just let me." He whispered.

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat but it stayed there. He placed both hands on my face and pulled me towards him. Our lips touched and it was magic.

"Cas…I lo.."

That's when I woke up sporting a rather noticeable boner.

Then and there I knew I was definitely gay and I really liked Dean.

The phone started ringing and I scrambled to answer it.

"Hello." I spoke into the receiver.

"Hey Castiel." Uriel answered.

I blew out the air I unintentionally was holding.

"Would you like to go to a movie sometime?" Uriel asked.

It took me a minute to reply. I just had a dream about damn Dean and here Uriel is asking me on a date. I really couldn't tell you why I said yes. Perhaps at that moment I felt like I wasn't good enough for Dean. I felt like I would be useless to him and of course I highly doubted he was gay.

So there I was awkwardly standing watching my boner fade as I told Uriel yes.

Don't get me wrong I really like Uriel and I would totally date him. Dean is like my famous crush. Someone you crush on but know you will never have.

"Shit." I thought.

How in the world was I going to break it to my mom that I was gay and convince her into letting me go to the movies with Uriel.

It was Wednesday and Uriel wanted to take me out on Friday so I had to tell my mother soon. We've never really talked about sexual preference before and I was really unsure as to how she might react.

After about an hour of fighting with myself I headed down stairs and into the living room where my mother sat on the couch nursing a hangover.

I sat next to here, a very bold move on my part but I figured if I am going to do this I better go big.

I slowly reached for her hand as I watched her eyes go big with curiosity. I held onto her hand and said "So mom…I'm gay and Uriel has asked me to the movies Friday can I go?"

Her face went red with anger and that's all I remember seeing because the next thing I knew I was flat on my back with a fat lip.

As she stood over me she exclaimed "Do what you want you ugly faggot!"

She left me on the floor and slammed her bedroom door. I wasn't really sure how to take her reaction. I pulled myself up and grabbed some ice from the kitchen before heading to my room.

I didn't see mom again until right before Uriel was suppose to be picking me up. I could smell the alcohol on her.

"You could have told me before you know, then I would have known I was raising a complete failure. I thought maybe this was a phase you would get over, but now I see you are nothing but a mess. I don't care what you do anymore, because you aren't my son anymore." She said as she stumbled back to her room.

Great my first date and my mother just disowned me.

I head out the door and wait the remainder of the time on the porch. Uriel shows up and we head to the movies. I explain to him on the way there about my mom. He feels concerned for me but he says she will get over it.

I push the shit to the back of my mind trying to make the most of the night.

I truly have a good time with Uriel and when we make it back to my house he kisses me. He asks me to be his boyfriend and I say yes. I think craving attention and being lonely are big factors in this decision.

He leaves as I make it into the dark house.

I don't think he really understands me and I don't think he really knows how much I hide, but I can say I have a boyfriend now.