Disclaimer in Chapter One

AN: This chapter earns the story its M-rating. I really appreciate all of you have stuck through this story despite its content. You guys are truly amazing!


Touch

Emma did her best to continue living normally in her everyday life, but as her appetite dwindle, the pressure in her brain throbbed, and her muscles weakened, the blonde found that most days she didn't even want to get out of bed.

Some days she did stay in bed, but she found she was never without company. On those days when the blonde just wanted to curl up into a ball and hide under the duvet, Regina would sidle out from under their sheets, shut the thick dark brown drapes preventing the light from seeping in and return to bed cuddling with the blonde for hours.

It was one of those days when Emma woke up to the sleeping face of her brunette lover. She could very well move up and about, the growl of her stomach urging her to do so, but Emma felt pulled towards Regina and sidled closer to the sleeping woman.

No longer could she smell the vanilla and lavender scent the older woman gave off, and no matter how much she pressed her nose further into Regina's neck, nothing could reclaim her smell. She couldn't taste Regina whenever they kissed, but she revelled in the feeling from the pressure of their duelling tongues.

She pressed her lips against Regina's forehead, letting her top lip leave a wet trail from her forehead down her temple to the side of her jaw. She grinned against soft flesh when the older woman stirred in her sleep, subconsciously pulling Emma towards her.

Keeping still so not to wake her just yet, Emma rubbed her palm up the brunette's bare arm, olive flesh prickling from her touch. Her hand weaved into brown locks feeling the soft, silky hair caress her fingers.

"Mmmm," Regina breathed out softly, her neck craning up towards Emma.

"Morning," Emma whispered bringing her jaw against Regina's.

Regina wound her fingers underneath Emma's tank, her fingers grazing her spine causing Emma's own skin to pebble at the sensation. "Good morning."

"I don't wanna go to work today," Emma whispered, bringing the duvet over both of them in a makeshift cocoon.

Regina's eyes snapped open. "Are you okay? Do you have another headache?"

Emma smiled softly, pushing the older woman down onto the mattress. "I just want to play hooky."

Regina smirked, glancing up at the blonde under her lashes. Removing a hand from under her shirt, she pressed a palm against Emma's cheek. "I'm not opposed to that."

"Look at that. I've become a bad influence on you." The blonde chuckled leaning against the older woman's palm while attempting to keep the duvet up as a tent. Her eyes closed and she sighed dejectedly.

"What is it?" Regina asked softly.

Green eyes opened, glassy and wide. "I don't want to stop feeling this."

She took Regina's free hand and peppered kisses across each finger, scattering them over her palm and wrist before claiming the brunette's lips, humming contently against it.

Regina grinned into the blonde's mouth. "Where's your favourite spot?"

The blonde peaked an eye open as Regina's free hand traveled southward. She shivered, her eyes fluttering shut again as Regina's searching fingers cupped Emma's breast, her thumb roving over an already taut nipple. "Right there." She whispered breathily.

"Mhmm." Regina sat up enveloping her breast through the tank, the wetness making the material see-through. Her hand continued its journey downwards, her nails scraping over Emma's abs making the blonde's stomach quiver.

"No, there," Emma groaned into Regina's touch.

The brunette smirked removing the duvet from over their heads and pinned the blonde to the mattress in one fluid motion. She lifted the tank and immediately placed her lips where her hand was, licking around Emma's navel, dipping her tongue into the younger woman's belly button. "Here?"

Emma bit her lip, nodding her head back into the pillow. She eased her legs open to better accommodate the brunette settled between them and sat up to shrug out of her tank before falling back when Regina sunk her teeth into her hips.

Her hips sprang up eager for more contact when Regina's hands caressed up and down Emma's bare thighs, her right hand digging her nails into the juncture where the blonde's thigh met her core while her left hand teased lazily over Emma's wet panties.

Emma's hand shot to Regina's head, tangling into thick brown locks as she thrust her hips up in anticipation. "No. There."

Regina grinned into the flesh she had bitten, licking the small red marks her teeth had made before she moved her head lower, her fingers tucked into the waist band of Emma's panties. "This is your favourite?"

"Yes," she breathed out, sitting up on her elbows to meet the brown sultry gaze that shone up at her.

The brunette tugged on Emma's panties, removing the wet fabric and tossing it to the side of the bed carelessly. She peppered kisses just above the blonde's pelvis, lapping at the wetness that glistened in blonde curls.

Emma moaned, her chest heaving in anticipation as hot breath cascaded down onto her core. "Regina..."

She felt the brunette chuckle against her folds and before she could stop herself, she whimpered when Regina pressed the flat of her tongue against her, licking her length up her slit before just barely grazing her sensitive nub.

Her eyes shut as she focused on Regina's mouth against her, the way her tongue moved deftly and effortlessly in and around her, soaking her up and building up the sweet tension deep in the pit of her stomach. When Regina took Emma's clit into her mouth, sucking the bud fiercely and adding two fingers into her wetness, the blonde moaned out, her legs closing around Regina's head trapping her there as her pleasure built.

The brunette didn't mind as she lapped furiously at Emma, twisting her fingers further into her tight heat.

"There!" Emma grabbed the brunette's head with both hands, keeping her pressed against her, needing to feel her everywhere as Emma hurdled over that final edge.

Her legs released the older woman, but her fingers still played in sweaty locks as Regina lapped up the last of Emma's wetness, giving her entrance a final peck for good measure before making her way up to Emma's face.

Regina grinned, satisfied at Emma's reactions as her still clothed body pressed hotly against the woman below hers. She tucked a slick strand of yellow hair behind Emma's ear enjoying the quivers of her body as she waited to see green eyes once more.

"Was that your favourite spot?" Regina asked huskily, her face mere centimetres from Emma's as her fingers continued to stroke and tease the still sensitive body.

Emma's eyes shone with a joy that seemed to had fade over the weeks. "No."

"No?" Regina asked surprised and slightly offended.

Before the brunette could argue, Emma captured her lips, feeling the pressure of their mouths fusing together and the warmth of the other woman's mouth as her tongue explored happily. Keeping their lips pressed together, she spoke softly. "This is."


"Henry, eat your vegetables," Emma said over dinner two nights later.

"You never ate your vegetables," the boy pointed out sulking at his plate still full of veggies.

"The perks of not being able to taste," Emma joked popping a steamed cauliflower into her mouth. Months ago, Regina had to fight both Henry and Emma to clear their plates of greens, but now Emma ate them willingly finding no reason to separate a nice juicy steak from boring vegetables.

She put her palm over Regina's thigh in reassurance when the older woman sighed uncomfortably at the joke.

Henry glanced up warily at his blonde mother, not wanting to disobey her wishes and dug into his vegetables without further complaint.


Emma knocked on Henry's door that night just as the boy was putting away the last of his homework. She stepped in when he looked up and walked over to his desk, flipping through his science textbook.

"The ecosystem, huh?" Emma asked looking down at the diagrams of plants and animals.

Henry nodded. "We're learning about the food chain."

She sat on the foot of his bed, dropping down harder than she intended. "You're so smart, you know that right?"

"Thanks, Ma," he grinned shyly from his seat.

Emma wrung her hands together nervously before looking up. "You know I always wanted you, right?"

"I know," Henry nodded. "You gave me up to give me my best chance."

She nodded with a watery smile, recalling the words that he had said to her when she first arrived in Storybrooke. "Yeah. Your mom raised you so well."

The boy fidgeted with his own hands as the silence stretched between them. Emma and Regina had discussed with Henry what happened to his blonde mother and what was supposed to happen, but the topic usually went untouched after that. It was always in the back of their minds, but Emma only truly voiced her concerns in the dead of the night when Henry was sleeping and she could release all her fears to the one person who provided her comfort.

"So did you," he mumbled.

She shot up from the bed and crouched to kneel in front of him, taking his hands into hers. "Don't be scared."

He averted her gaze but she brought it back to her by tugging his chin back gently, leaving her palm against his cheek.

"You're the Saviour," he mumbled again. "You can't..." The word died on his lips.

"I already did my job, Henry," she offered quietly. "The curse is broken, they're regrowing the beans, and your mom, she's not evil."

"But you can't..." He insisted.

She glanced down briefly, willing her shaking hands to calm down as they grasped Henry's tighter. "Sometimes the hero doesn't make it to the end. Sometimes a new hero has to take her place."

"Who else can do that except for you?" He questioned.

She smiled and leaned up to kiss his forehead. "You."

He looked confused, so she continued. "You take care of your mom, be the prince or the Mayor's son, or whatever you want to be. Just don't forget."

She breathed out sharply when his arms wrapped firmly around her neck, his face hidden and his body shuddering as he sobbed quietly. She held him tightly as her own tears fell, mentally memorizing the way his arms circled around her, the way his hair flopped into her face and was in sore need of a cut, and the warm pressure of him hugging her.

There were many nights since his birth where she regretted all the days that passed where he wasn't with her, but she thanked her lucky stars for whatever power gave her this last precious year with her son.


"Emma?" Ruby greeted confused when she walked into the station, pinning the deputy badge onto her shirt. "What are you doing here?"

"Going to work like a normal person," Emma answered from her office, her feet already up on her desk.

Ruby smirked and leaned against the doorway, motioning to Emma's boots. "Some things never change. How are you-"

"Do me a favour and don't check up on me every five minutes." Emma cut her off quickly. "We are just at work doing normal work things."

"Which in your case involves bear claws," the deputy pointed out.

Emma nodded in confirmation. "Exactly."

"On it," Ruby saluted before turning to leave. She paused momentarily before looking back. "You'll let me know if you're not?"

"After Regina," Emma reassured.

The brunette laughed making a whipping noise before departing the station.


Emma paced her office, her hands on top of her head to open her airways as she breathed heavily, panting as if she had just run a hundred miles instead of simply sitting at her desk like she had been doing. She coughed violently when she choked on her own spit, her lungs burning as her airways grew narrower.

The bear claws and donuts on her desk went untouched, her stomach churning just at the thought of food even though all she had eaten that morning was a granola bar.

Grabbing her Sheriff's jacket, she walked slowly out of the station, hoping fresh air and a change of environment could help ease the ache in her treacherous body. Flipping her hair out of her collar, Emma walked down Main Street, her hands stuffed into her pocket as she watched the small town bustle with life.

It was strange to think that more than a year ago, Henry had come knocking on her door claiming she was some sort of Saviour and her parents were Snow White and Prince Charming. God, look what a year could do. She had found everything she spent her entire life looking for literally overnight. The overwhelming feeling of her world simultaneously crashing and building had led her straight to Regina's door step that fateful night six months ago after the brunette had run off from the diner. It was the second best decision Emma ever made. The first was staying in Storybrooke. She had found a home in this town, her parents, a family of her own.

And now it was slowly being ripped away from her.

Emma pushed the depressing thought aside. She refused to wallow in self-pity. If she only had so long left, she'd make the most of it.

She smiled and waved, ignoring the tightness in her muscles, as Michael Tillman parked his tow truck in front of Granny's. Nicholas and Ava scooted out from the front. She'd have to remember to invite them over to play with Henry soon.

As she walked by them, the sound of Michael screaming and the screech of a car had Emma turning around quickly.

Nicholas was crossing the street when a car swerved to avoid him, moving into the incoming lane and colliding into the vehicle in it.

Michael ran to collect his shaking son as Emma sprinted quickly to the smoke-covered collision. The driver in the car who swerved kicked open his door with a sickening crunch, collapsing onto the pavement, but the other driver had yet to move. As soon as the smoke cleared, Emma held her breath.

Archie.

She dialed the paramedics yelling into the phone to get their asses there before slamming it shut and attempted to pry open the therapist's door.

"Archie!" She yelled then cupped her face against the cracked glass to see the man unconscious, blood streaming down the side of his face and his glasses thrown off. "Archie!"

She banged her shoulder against the door over and over, but it refused to budge. A crowd had formed, and she could hear the ambulance in the far distance, but she needed to get her friend out immediately, so Emma did the first thing that came to mind.

She shoved her elbow into the window, her jacket absorbing the blow. Luckily the already weakened integrity of the glass was on her side. With three hard pounds the glass broke through allowing her to ease her hand through the small hole in order to release the lock. With great force she pried the door open and managed to drag Archie out of the totaled car just as the ambulance pulled up.

It took an hour for the cars to be removed, for both drivers and Nicholas to be checked out, and for everyone to give their statements to Emma. By the time Regina came to assess and control the damage, yelling at everyone only like a Mayor and Queen could, Emma was on her way over to the brunette when out of nowhere she dropped to the ground with a hard thud.


A bright light shone in her eyes, and Emma was sure she was dead. She didn't know how, but she just knew from all the movies she'd seen to follow the light.

"Emma." Regina's voice carried to her ears, and she thanked whatever gods were up there that if she had to die, it'd be to the sound of Regina's voice.

The light dimmed, and she briefly panicked, but the distorted image of Regina standing over her began to clear with every blink of her eyes.

"Emma." Regina's head came closer, dried tears stained on her cheeks. "Come back to me. Just like that. Open your eyes."

The blonde sat up slowly as Whale entered the room. "Hey, Sheriff."

"What happened?" Emma asked looking between Regina and Dr. Whale.

She looked down to see that her clothes were gone save for a hospital dressing gown, her right arm bandaged from her hand all the way to her elbow. "What the hell happened to my arm?"

Whale came into her line of vision, easing the blonde woman to swing her legs over the edge of the bed. "Keep looking up, okay?"

Emma looked worried but nodded. She watched as he stepped right up in front of her, prepared to slap the man should he get too fresh. His face furrowed in concentration before glancing down.

Instinctively, Emma looked down as well and caught the doctor's hand on her thigh, not high enough to cause Regina to scold him, but on her thigh no less. Upon seeing it, Emma pushed the man back. "Back off, Whale."

Regina immediately took his place, sitting beside Emma on the bed.

He held her gaze looking up at her sadly before motioning to her arm. "There was glass embedded into your skin for over an hour. You lost a good amount of blood before you passed out."

"What?" Emma gasped out wishing Regina would hold her or something. When she looked down, her hand was already in the older woman's grasp.

Her mouth parted and she shook her head. "No, no, it was just adrenaline. You filled me up on morphine or something."

"Your mechanoreceptors and nociceptors, pressure and pain receptors respectively, in your body are completely shot," he responded professionally. "That area in your brain-"

"It's black, isn't it?" Emma asked angrily glancing upwards before shutting her eyes.

"Emma," Regina said softly beside her.

The blonde turned her head, unaware that her lip was quivering and that tears were streaming down her face.

Regina pressed a palm to her cheek, apology and pain in brown eyes, but despite placing her own hand over the older woman's, Emma felt nothing.

Her tears flowed freely as she gasped out a sob and pulled Regina into her arms tightly, tighter than she ever had before, hoping beyond all hope to have her warmth again, just one more time. She could hear the quiet gasps of shortened breath against her ear, and judging by the the brunette's rigid spine, she could tell Regina was holding back just as fiercely, but no matter what she did, her sensation was gone.


Emma had been home for three days and already she had bitten her tongue till it bled profusely twice, tripped down a few steps on the stairs, and touched a heating pot, blisters adorning her already stitched up arm.

Despite refusing to show any kind of weakness around Henry, Emma had closed in on herself. Though if that was due to her recent loss of touch or the fact that Emma was losing weight rapidly, her body fat being consumed in place of the food she was barely eating, it was hard to tell. All Regina could do at night was reassure her, comfort her in any way she could.

Judging by the lack of expression as of late, Regina was almost glad for Emma's outburst that night.

Regina found her in their washroom, coughing into the sink violently. She rushed into the room, clearing her throat loudly to indicate her presence. She bit her lip when Emma spat, her saliva tinged a dark pink.

"Are you okay?" Regina asked tentatively when Emma straightened.

"Am I okay?" Emma scoffed. She pushed passed Regina to pace the still dark master suite. "Of course I'm okay, Regina. I'm friggen Superman over here!"

The brunette stood in the light of the bathroom, watching the woman pace back and forth.

"You could stab me right now, and I wouldn't feel a goddamned thing. I wouldn't even flinch, and you know what's the scary part?" She paused, green eyes fiery and wide. "I used to be able to tell when my body hurt, or something felt wrong, or if I needed to lie down, but I can't feel that anymore!"

"Emma," Regina walked up to her and held her flailing arms down, forcing the blonde to look at her.

The blonde shook her head and shut her eyes as she glanced down. "I could go to sleep and not wake up."

Regina tried to hold in her tears as she held Emma, once strong and confident now weak and uncertain. She moved her hands up to Emma's shoulder, tugging her head up and holding her face in her hands, her eyes waiting for green ones to open.

The blonde kept shaking her head until she finally opened her eyes, tears streaming down her face once she registered that Regina was holding her.

She closed the gap between them, watching as her hands wrapped around Regina's waist, glancing at the older woman's expression to see if she was holding too tightly. When Regina revealed no sense of discomfort, she gently eased her head forehead, waiting for Regina's nod to indicate that their foreheads were pressed.

"I can't taste you," Emma whispered, her voice croaking. "I can't smell you. I can't touch you. What kind of Saviour am I?"

"Mine," Regina answered simply, her answer confident as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

She reached around her waist, bringing Emma's palms up to her lips and kissed the paler than usual knuckles all the while keeping jade eyes on her own. "Come."

Slowly she led her to their bed, easing the blonde woman to sit in the middle of it before removing her clothes methodically and donning her silk negligee. Once at the bed, she crawled over to Emma, maintaining their eye contact, then sat up guiding the blonde into her lap.

She stroked her fingers down Emma's face, nails scraping lightly down her jaw. The move used to make Emma shiver, but the blonde remained stoic and disheartened.

"You're so warm," Regina whispered leaning her head in. "And soft." She took Emma's hand and put it against her own cheek, nuzzling the palm. "My face is pressed against your hand, smooth, comforting."

She slowly brushed her lips against Emma's and remained close, breathing the same air. "My lips are plump and soft against yours. Wet. Full. Waiting."

Tentatively Emma brushed her lips against Regina's, but when she closed her eyes she stopped, pulling her head back in shame. "I can't feel you." She shook her head. "Every time I close my eyes it's like nothing is around me. Like you're not even there."

Regina bit her quivering lip before pressing her lips firmly against Emma's stealing the younger woman's air in a desperate attempt to make her feel something. "Keep your eyes open."

The blonde gulped watching as a single tear fell from Regina's eye. Carefully, she moved her hand to the brunette's cheek, wiping the offending smear away as gently as she could.

"Stay still," Emma whispered waiting for Regina to nod. When she did, Emma kept her gaze steady on Regina's pulse point, pressing her lips tentatively to it. "Tell me if I hurt you."

"You can't," Regina answered quietly, her hand weaving into Emma's hair acting as a guide.

"Regina," the blonde scolded playfully despite the situation.

The brunette nodded gasping out when she felt a tentative flick of Emma's tongue on her skin. "Harder."

Emma kissed at Regina's skin, focusing all her attention on the slowly purpling mark on otherwise olive flesh. She groaned deep in her throat when she heard Regina whisper sultry directly in her ear.

"You're kissing harder, adding teeth to the mix," Regina breathed out as she narrated Emma's actions. "Do more."

On command, Emma nipped harder than intended making Regina moan out at the pleasure and pain.

The brunette held Emma firm into her neck breathing into the blonde's ear. "Your fingers are pressing hard at my waist, making my skin hot. It's like I'm on fire."

Emma's fingers dug deeper, nearly piercing skin as she moved her lips to the brunette's collarbone. She pulled back, her hand still gripping Regina's waist as the brunette panted heavily. "Where's your favourite spot?"

Regina smiled tugging Emma's shirt to bring the blonde closer and attach their lips. "Same as yours."

Emma breathed into Regina's mouth, her eyes kept firmly on Regina's face as she spoke sadly. "I can't feel it anymore."

The brunette shook her head, putting Emma's hand over her heart while putting her own hand over the blonde's. "You can't feel that?"

Emma shook her head sadly.

"No," Regina said. "Not the beating. Do you love me?"

Emma's eyes snapped up to Regina's questioning gaze. "Yes."

"Do you know that I love you?"

She nodded.

Regina smiled again, more sure than ever. "That's all you need to feel."