Haku's P.O.V.
"Haku. You know, if you're interested in being a singer, than maybe you should post a song cover on Nicotube."
"Aah? B-but I..."
I was spending lunch break sitting with my friend, Miku. We were talking about secrets. Well, sort of. It was a bit of a secret that I wanted to be a singer.
"Oh come on, don't be scared, Haku. It won't feel like a big deal at all once you have it online. I do it all the time just for fun." Miku confidently admitted.
"And the point is, it doesn't have to be super-good at all. Everybody uploads covers these days, Haku."
I could tell Miku was being modest. She was an amazing singer and practically everyone knew. I had to wonder what went through her mind when she talked to um... "underlings".
"O-okay, I guess it sounds fun." I said. Secretly, I always wanted to cover a song, though before I had never dreamed I actually would.
"Okay, so what songs do you like singing?" Miku asked eagerly.
"I... um..." I thought hard nervously.
"I like to... sing anime songs in a cute voice when I'm alone? B-but I don't want to post that... it's too embarrassing!"
Miku gave a giggle. A friendly, non-teasing one.
"Haha, that could make you popular though!"
I began to blush.
"Ha ha, just kidding." Miku said after she was done laughing.
The school bell rang for the end of lunch break and Miku and I put away our lunchboxes.
"Talk to me after school, okay?" Miku whispered to me when we were going back to our classroom seats. I gave her the thumbs-up symbol.
All through the day, I thought about a song I would be good at singing, but my mind couldn't settle on a single one at all.
When school was out, I was looking foward to talking to Miku, to Akaito, and maybe Rin and Len too.
But my heart sank when I saw them all walking out of the school building together in a tight group, and in the center was Miku. None of them seemed to acknowledge me.
I followed them distantly, and I picked up gestures and faint sounds of them laughing as they shuffled through the autumn leaves. They were walking someplace without me.
I didn't have it in me to call out their names.
I understood.
I understood that they probably didn't care about me as much as they do each other.
It was only what seemed right. Nobody I cared about has ever stayed by my side for so long. Not even my brother or dad.
"I can't believe I thought that my friends actually wanted to see me after school..." I thought as I took the detour home.
"And, tomorrow's my birthday... guess I'll be alone for it again." sigh...
The detour was actually a pretty nice place to go when I needed cheering up. The little shops always selled such lively decorations and so many other things.
But when I got there, they were havin an early sale on Christmas trees.
Bare Christmas trees.
A sight that only reminded me of the Christmas where our tree was bare.
The empty house... my brother's face... the cold, empty tension... it all began to flood in my mind. Memories of that day.
Tears began to well up in my eyes. I put my sleeve over my face and ran through the busy shopping street, even past the friendly shopkeepers who knew me as a regular. I didn't want them to see me cry either.
I held back the tears until I got home. My mother was working late as usual and she didn't leave me any dinner. The house was empty. I sat on the edge of my bed and vented my feelings.
After crying, I began singing a part of a song. It was a sad song, and it simply came to my lips without me being aware.
"When the season is spinning, spinning
Please embrace the scattering ties
Strongly, strongly
So that they won't be lost..."
I cleared my voice and sang a little more, a little louder this time.
"Unable to move from the weight
Of the embraced words,
I fell into a warm dream
When I woke, it was after I lost you"
Tears welled up in my eyes again on the last few words. This song reminded me of my brother. But at the same time I smiled. Singing it somehow made me feel better.
"I tie it-the appearance that I embraced
The color of orange softly scatters
It hurt so much, it's strongly engraved in my heart
*hirari hirari hirari..."
*= "Flutter, flutter, flutter"
...
...
ENDNOTE: The song in this chapter is called "Hirari, Hirari, Hirari". Angst isn't really my thing, so... (sorry if the story is cheesy, but that would be because I'm a cheesy person to begin with. XD;;)
