A/N: Warnings this chapter: brief mention of death/suicide/alcohol. Implied sex.
Chapter 4: If that's the only place where you can leave your doubts
Drakken tapped lightly on the door to Shego's room for the second time that day, although less time had passed this time. The first time was longer because he'd been baking scones. This time it was a simple strawberries and cream parfait. He was also prepared with strawberry ice cream, and then vanilla ice cream for root beer floats as back ups in case she was in the mood for something different.
"Shego?" he called.
"Go away!" she called from somewhere inside.
"I just wanted to apologize for...whatever it is that I said," Drakken continued.
"Apology accepted. Now go away!"
"I...also made you something," he said.
There was a pause. And then, "What? Something else?"
"Strawberries and cream parfait," he said.
A few moments passed, and then the door opened. She eyed him suspiciously.
"Was there a sale on strawberries, or...did you know they're my favorite?" she asked.
"Um... Well, I...pay attention," he said with a nervous grin. He would never tell her that he had reached out to her brothers months ago, hoping to get some hints on how to woo her. Thankfully, the twins had been able to give him some advice. The purple one had just laughed and the blue one threatened him.
Shego didn't look convinced, but she took the tray from him and closed the door.
Drakken blinked. That...wasn't exactly what he'd been going for, but it was a start.
He nearly jumped when the door suddenly opened again.
"Oh, come in," she said, rolling her eyes.
He smiled shyly and followed her inside.
These were her new rooms—the upgrade he had promised her after they had accepted their newfound status as world-heroes. It was part of how he was convincing her to go along with the ruse until his new world-domination plans could be realized. In the meantime, it suited him perfectly to pander to the United Nations and anyone else who called. Especially if they had money they were willing to spend on his innovations.
It was during this self-enforced exile from the world of villainy that he had decided to unlock the part of himself he'd sworn he'd never give a thought to. The part of him that wanted Shego as more than a sidekick and friend.
Now that he was paying attention to her in a way that he never had before, he was suddenly seeing her laziness and chronic bad attitude instead as a fight against loneliness. And he should know, familiar with the latter as he was.
Her new room was larger than his, when taking the walk-in closet and en suite bathroom into account. It was also much more modern, having been recently renovated. His own room had been built back when he first bought the lair. But Shego's room had only slightly different decor than the rest of the lair, which he found interesting.
The upholstery, for example, and bedspread were still red like everything else he had brought into the cave. But she had added a white coffee table, vanity, and a few throw pillows. He was surprised they weren't black or green.
"Sit down," Shego beckoned him, settling comfortably into one of the red-cushioned arm chairs.
Drakken fidgeted nervously as he sat in the chair opposite, watching as she spooned some of the strawberries and cream into her mouth.
"Mmm..." she purred, closing her eyes in delight. Drakken looked away, clearing his throat. It suddenly seemed warmer in the room.
"Dr. D..." she said, looking up at him with a rare smile. "If you're gonna keep this up throughout the whole 'play good' charade, it just might be worth it."
"Ah, well," he said shyly, "you're welcome?"
She blinked at him. "Yeah...thanks," she said.
He watched her nervously as she ate. He wasn't sure what to do when she wasn't saying anything. But then...
"My father drank himself to death."
He sat forward. "Wh-what?"
"After my mother hung herself," she continued, "because Global Justice was going to move all of us, including the five-year-old twins, into Go Tower. Without them."
Drakken didn't know what to say. He wasn't a stranger to violence, but he wasn't really used to people talking about certain things so...bluntly. And emotionlessly.
"That...stupid contract they had signed. It basically gave us all up. They just didn't know it at the time. And we were too young and...blinded by it all to understand. We should have realized when they were still working forty hours a week and didn't see any money from GJ. But we were kids! We only cared about ourselves."
Drakken fidgeted nervously as Shego paused to take a bite of the dessert. "Oh."
She narrowed her eyes in scrutiny. "Don't feel sorry for me, Doc. I'm exactly where I want to be. It just...took a long time to get here."
"Ah, okay...good," he said, slowly sitting back again, though he was still tense.
"I had this...fantasy that things might be normal for us someday," she said, waving her spoon around. "But we were outcasts. We didn't have any friends. Well, just one who I'd known before the comet. I lost track of her when GJ took us out of public school, after our parents died. Hego had a crush on her, of course. And Mego was a skirt-chaser too. Men..." she scoffed.
Drakken glanced away nervously.
"We were GJ's dream come true. Kids with super powers who would blindly follow them. They never saw us as anything more. And neither did anyone else in Go City. I had to get out. But not before I got my brothers out of their contract..."
"But Shego!" whined the twins, chasing after her as she hurried to her car.
"I'll be back, sheesh," she said, putting on her sunglasses and adjusting her headband. "It's just a weekend to check out some colleges. You can handle things without me for a couple of days. Maybe..." she added under her breath.
"Be sure it is just the weekend," Hego admonished, following her out. "We're a team."
"Yeah, yeah," she said, waving her hand. "I'll be back on Monday morning."
"You know it's not really appropriate for a young woman to be out on her own," Hego said worriedly.
Shego turned toward him with a smirk, igniting one of her hands. "I think I can handle myself."
Hego rolled his eyes. "Say bye to Mego for me," she said.
The twins ran forward and hugged her around her legs. She squeezed them both, and when they had released her she smoothed her short, teal skirt.
"You know, if you do find a college you like—"
"Bye, Hego," she said, rolling her eyes and hopping over the door into the convertible. And moments later, she roared out of Go Tower's vehicle bay and across the invisible bridge toward the city.
She smirked at all the faces that turned as she slowly cruised the streets, and every now and then she lifted a hand to wave at them. If her plan was going to work, she would need public support.
Go City University was just around the next corner. She passed it by and continued on to a more important destination. Two blocks later, she pulled into a parking lot with several small office suites. And after hopping out of the car she headed straight for the office on the corner of Mr. William Scott, attorney at law.
When she pushed the door open a bell rang, announcing her entrance. The front room was empty because, as she had learned, the young lawyer had only recently passed the bar and couldn't afford a secretary yet. But he soon emerged from his real office, and when he saw her his face bloomed into a smile.
"Shego! Wonderful to see you again," he said, clasping her hand between both of his in a warm handshake.
She smiled demurely, despite herself. "So where are we at?" she asked, straight to business.
The lawyer's brows rose in amusement, and then he gestured with his head back toward his office. She followed him in.
"We're looking great!" he said, his grin broadening as soon as the door was closed. "As soon as you turn eighteen, you can walk right out of the Global Justice contract. And your older brother can already. Why do you suppose he hasn't?"
Shego rolled her eyes. "'Cause he's too dumb to realize we're all their prisoners. Hey, why do you think they haven't tried to sell him on a new contract?"
Scott sat down behind his desk. "Probably because they know you would get wise to their scheme," he said admiringly. "They're probably hoping to keep this going until all three of you turn eighteen, and then get you all to sign a new contract together."
"Yeah, and they're egocentric enough to do it, too..." she scoffed, folding her arms. "What about the custody part of it?"
"Well, I have all the papers ready for your brother if you want to bring him in on this. Or if you want to wait until you turn eighteen, we can try it that way. In any case, we won't be able to keep that one out of court. So you may want to wait until all three of you are eighteen, or GJ may try something with...?"
"Mego," she supplied.
"Yes," he nodded. "If you make a move for custody of the twins, they may try to make his life miserable while he's still a minor."
Shego set her forehead in one of her hands and shook her head. "I don't know if I can wait two years, Mr. Scott."
The lawyer stood again and stepped around to the front of his desk and leaned back against it. "You said you were going to go away to college. You don't think it will be easier then?"
"I dunno," she shrugged, her expression growing more worried by the second. "They may try to make things worse when I refuse to go on every mission. Or make things worse for the twins..."
She shook her head and closed her eyes tightly. If only she had stood up for them sooner. If only she hadn't been so complacent—'for the good of the team,' as Hego said. Maybe their parents would still be alive. Maybe she'd have someone...anyone, she could trust.
"I'm sure you'll make the right decision," Scott's voice broke into her thoughts. She looked up to find him standing much closer. "You're smart, savvy, and you love your family. And no matter which route you decide to go, I'll be here for you all."
Shego swallowed back the tears that had begun forming in her eyes. "What do you think I...we should do, Mr. Scott?"
The young lawyer put his hands in his pockets and adopted an expression of deep thought. Shego recognized that some of it was put on, and wondered why.
"You should wait until all three of you are eighteen. That way, your two oldest brothers will be free no matter what, and you'll have both of them on your side to fight for custody of the twins. The courts will be more favorable to you if there are three providers."
"Hm. Now I just have to convince my brothers to go to college," she said, crossing her arms in worry. "They think we'll be heroes forever. But they forget that everything—literally, everything—that we have, technically belongs to Global Justice," she said in disgust.
"Perhaps you'll inspire them once they see you making a difference in society without your powers," the lawyer said, smiling down at her.
She looked up and noticed his brown eyes for the first time. And the brightness of his smile, and the strength of his jaw. She felt something within her chest flutter as he gazed at her.
"We're a bunch of freaks," she protested. "What else can we ever be?"
The young lawyer shifted his weight to his other foot and shrugged casually. "It's not what you look like on the outside. Hey, look at me! I'm barely out of law school and I'm going to win you a case against one of the biggest private corporations in the world."
Shego chuckled and looked away. "Yeah, I guess that's true."
"So. What else are you doing today?"
She blinked at him, surprised by the question. "...I'm meeting with the admissions counselor at Go City University."
"Have time for lunch before you go?"
"Um..." she glanced down at her watch, feeling that odd flutter in her chest again. "Yes, I guess so?"
"Great! How about sandwiches at the deli across the street, my treat? I want to hear what you'll be studying once you get in."
Shego blinked in shock as he placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her toward the door. Why on earth did her chest feel like that?
"Well, I don't know that they'll let me in. I haven't even graduated high school yet."
"What school wouldn't want a renowned superhero?" he asked as they entered the front room.
She turned on him then, the flutter in her chest instantly replaced with anger.
"I don't want to get into college because of my reputation!" she said, glowering at him. "I want to get in because I've earned it!"
He backed off, lifting his hands in surrender. "Whoa, of course you do. And you will. I wasn't suggesting you wouldn't. I just meant...you'll bring your fighting spirit with you, wherever you go. People know you, Shego. That's one benefit Global Justice has given you, at least?"
She crossed her arms, eyeing him skeptically.
"And any school would jump at the chance of having a person of your character in their ranks."
"Sure," she said flatly, turning back toward the door. "And you know? I don't have time for lunch after all. Maybe some other time."
"I'll look forward to it," William Scott said with a smile, waving goodbye as she hopped back into the convertible. "Until next time!"
As Shego backtracked to the university, she thought about the lawyer's words. For all the hope he had given her for herself and her brothers, he was dead wrong about one thing: no one knew her character.
The young, sandy-haired, brown-eyed lawyer asked her to lunch again at their next meeting. And this time, she went with him.
That night, when Team Go took out a villain who'd named himself 'The Giraffe'—he was over seven feet tall—she disobeyed Hego's orders and hit the man point-blank with her glow. His stupid costume was only a little singed, she'd argued. But her brother had not been happy.
William Scott asked her to coffee after their next meeting, and again she attended. He asked her all about her declared major, now that Go City University had accepted her. And she was happy to tell him. Goodness knows her brothers weren't interested. They were still protesting her decision to pursue higher education.
Later that week when Team Go encountered a fascinating villain from somewhere in Europe, a woman calling herself Electronique, Shego had collapsed the roof of a condemned building upon the villain to stun her. Even Mego was upset this time—worried that the roof could have fallen on him of course. But Shego had argued that clearly this lady had some type of electric superpower and could withstand the force. And she had.
When Global Justice took her away, Shego found herself feeling...disappointed. She had wanted to ask the older woman about her powers, how she had acquired them, and how she had arrived where she was in her life.
Some months later, Billy Scott took her to dinner to celebrate both her high school graduation and her eighteenth birthday. She told him all about how her brother Hego ranted on and on about 'the greater good' and how she would be breaking up the team by going to college. She suggested moving the custody fight up, but he advised against it. She took his recommendation.
Soon after, Team Go defeated a woman calling herself Saltine. Shego had no end of fun mocking her name and her ridiculous salt powers throughout the fight, and later mocking Hego, whom the villainess had flirted with heavily as she tried to evade them.
"Come on, Bro', you're nineteen now. Live a little," she said later back in Go Tower.
"Shego, I will not compromise my morals for anything or anyone," he insisted. But the deep flush to his cheeks gave Shego a great deal of satisfaction in knowing her brother was human too. She couldn't tell him though, about the young man who had started to make her cheeks flush green every time she saw him.
Billy took her to dinner again on the eve of her first day in college. This time it was to an exclusive restaurant. She was recognized everywhere of course, but in this place people didn't stare. Except for Billy, who stared into her eyes. And she stared back into his. And when he said he had a new idea for the contract that could get her away from Global Justice sooner, without affecting Mego and the twins as minors, and would she like to look at it right away, she jumped at the chance.
After a twenty minute car ride she realized that he had meant look at the paperwork in his apartment, not his office. And soon after, she realized he had never intended to go over the contract at all. If the changes he had talked about even existed. But that flutter in her chest had been growing for months, until now it was uncontrollable. Every time she saw Billy it came over her, sometimes rendering her speechless, other times causing her to be weak at the knees.
She found it annoying that even as a superhero, she was subject to the weaknesses of human biology. But when he kissed her in front of his fireplace that night she decided she didn't care about her weaknesses, or about his lies about the contract. She didn't care about them during their second kiss either, or the third, or during everything that came after.
When she returned to Go Tower late that night, the flutter had been replaced by a different feeling—a strange mixture of rightness and of wrongness, which she thought suited her just fine. She wished then for a call from Global Justice, so she could get out and destroy something. They hated when she did that of course, since it raised their insurance rates, but she could have cared less. Because the more time passed, the more the wrongness took over the rightness.
She realized that she had missed something when Billy didn't call her the next day. Or the day after. Or the day after that. Usually he was calling her incessantly, updating her on his progress...though, really, there was never that much to update. But always included in his calls were an invitation to lunch or coffee or dinner that she had come to enjoy, not just because of his special attention to her, but for the chance to be honest about her life in a way that she couldn't be with her brothers.
Finally after a week had passed, she called him.
When he answered she found her chest fluttering and constricting all at once at the sound of his voice. "Hi Billy," she said.
"Oh, hello Shego," his voice sounded through the receiver.
She breathed a sigh of relief. He sounded like his usual self. Perhaps slightly distracted.
"I...was wondering if you had any updates for me, about the case?" she asked.
"No, nothing new. I'll call you when I have something."
"Oh...okay," she said.
He hung up.
She clutched the receiver tightly as tears began to well in her eyes as finally she understood.
She'd been used. Manipulated. Objectified.
She could just imagine him bragging to his friends about deflowering Team Go's tough girl, the one who didn't take anyone's nonsense and who wasn't afraid to do whatever it took to get the job done.
She was humiliated. And because she was who she was—a superhero, and an island—she couldn't tell anyone. She was all alone.
