A/N: Thanks for all the reviews last chapter and keep it coming! This chapter is a little longer than the others, but I think it flows okay. As always abbymickey24 is my saving grace and stephlite for being so awesome. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

All things Twilight are the property and ownership of S. Meyers. I make no money from my obsession.


I think we can get better. I think she will make us better.

Chapter 4: Ashes to Ashes

BPOV
Was it sad that the ache in my chest is less now? I didn't want to forget Edward or the time we shared with each other. Nevertheless, I was finding it easier and easier to laugh and to live. As part of my "grieving process," thanks Carlisle, I would come out to the lake behind our house and talk to Edward. Carlisle thought I was losing it when I told him what I was doing, but he was the one who told me to find a way to grieve. Everyone knew to leave me alone during this time and I was far enough away that they couldn't hear me. Our conversations were getting shorter and shorter. I just didn't think I needed to do this anymore. I stared out over the water and thought of him.

Edward, I want to thank you for everything that you did for me. I still feel guilty over your death. I still feel like it was my fault. I hope you are happy. Thank you for loving me, but I think it's almost time to say goodbye.

My phone playing Metallica's "Enter Sandman" brought me out of my thoughts. I smiled widely knowing who it was.

"Cullen morgue, you kill'em, we chill'em," I answered.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god Bella! That was too funny," Emmett guffawed into the phone.

"Glad I could make ya laugh good buddy. Was there a reason for this call?"

"Oh…right…sorry to interrupt your…time…uh…should I…uh," he stammered

"Just spit it out already Em!" I laughed a little to let him know I wasn't mad.

"Right, we have company. Eleazar is here. So get back here as fast as those scrawny legs can carry you," he joked.

"Doubting my speed?"

"What speed? Your newborn year is almost up."

"Oh really? Fine, back field, 3pm, Dogs of War Rules," I said, trying to sound scary.

"It is so on Belly Bean," he hollered and I could hear Alice in the background calling the two us a couple of third graders.

"Em, tell Alice that Dogs of War Rules are for sixth graders only!" I yelled.

I knew that would get a good laugh out of them, Em's being the loudest. I closed my phone and ran swiftly back to the house.

The next few weeks were the most intense so far in this new life. I just wanted to be able to sleep as I felt constantly tired and drained. We learned first that my mental shield blocks out any mental attacks. Yet, also tied in with my physical shield, it can block gifts like Alice & Jasper's. Poor Emmett's head must have been hurting after a while. He couldn't understand why at times Alice could see my future and Jasper affect my emotions. Eleazar explained things to him.

"Emmett, if she is going to expel her physical shield, what you call…dear God I can't believe I'm saying this… 'The Mighty Bubble', then it is basically uncovering her. Thus it allows Alice to see her future and Jasper to use his gift," Eleazar explained.

Eleazar and Carlisle were two vampire geeks in a pod. By the time Eleazar was getting ready to leave a month and half later, I was able to drop both shields and manipulate my bubble for a little while. I still had so much more to practice, but Jasper was going to pick up the rest of the training.

One day during a much needed break from training, Jasper told me his story. He would go fishing with me to work on my strength and patience for the most part. I kept crushing and ripping too many things in the house. It helped me remember Charlie as well. Jasper would send out calming vibes in hopes to draw the fish in, but his gift didn't work on them that well. When Jasper finished with his story, I wanted to find Maria and crush her head. He was shocked at my response. I just told him, "You're my brother. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

"It took a while for the rest of the family to even look me in the eye after I told that story."

"A few years from now, once you have trained me to fight some more and all this newborn stuff clears, I'm here for you. If you ever want to seek revenge, then I am your Nemesis,*" I growled.

I stared into jasper's golden eyes and I sent him my sisterly love, anger, and hope. The fierceness in my voice hung true and there was no doubt I would do anything for my family.

His returning smirk was everything I needed to know.

Jasper and I followed behind Eleazar and Carlisle, who were yapping away about the Volturi. Carlisle had told me about them in great detail. The three bothers in Italy were like the police of the vampire world. However, they were cruel and conniving. They collected gifted vampires like little boys do baseball cards. If they knew of my gift, I would be taken away from my family.

"Eleazar?" I called over to him. "Is that why you just came and not the rest of your coven?"

"This one is very smart Carlisle. Yes, Bella. If the rest of my coven should come across someone, they should not have any knowledge of your gift. The less that know the better. I did tell them that Carlisle had a new addition since Edward's…death. You will be meeting them soon. Carmen is just bursting to meet you from what Esme has been yammering on the phone to her about," he smiled widely.

I could not help but smile as well. He has spoken of Carmen numerous times while here. I was able to talk to her once and she was excited to meet Esme's new bambina. It was nice to know that I didn't have to be a little secret.

"They are just giving you an adjustment period. Well, I think I will get going. I really do miss Carmen," he said.

Carlisle walked over to him and shook his hand. Esme gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. With a nod, he was out the door and running the few miles north to their property. Everyone went off to do their own thing and Alice walked up to Jasper and I as we were discussing my new training schedule.

"Bella, now that you have a better control over your shield, can you drop it so I can see you?" Alice asked.

I thought about it for a little bit. I knew it had really been annoying the crap out of Alice that I, or anyone dealing with me, was a blind spot to her. Still, it had been fun when Em and I played our jokes on her. Plus Jasper loved being able to actually surprise her with gifts. I looked across the room to Em and he frowned, but then shrugged. He left then to go hunt with Rosalie. For some weird reason, that angered me. I wanted him to stay here with me. She was now touching his arm as they made their way out the door. He turned to look at me and gave me a sad smile.

"Uh Bella…," I turned to see Alice snapping her fingers in my face.

"What you aggravating midget?" I growled.

"Whoa now baby sis. Let's not bite Ali's head off. I kinda like it," Jasper spoke and I could feel his calm nudging my shield. So I took some calming breaths.

"Okay Alice, I will sanction some Alice Vision Time. Whatever you don't get in 5 minutes a day, tough luck. I feel weird when I have to drop it. It makes me nervous," I said, shivering slightly at the thought of being unprotected.

"Thanks Bella! What was with you zoning out anyway?" Alice asked.

"I dunno…it's weird." I said, shrugging.

Jasper interrupted and said he was going off to read. He suggested that we should hang out a while and hunt.

"Yeah after today's training I do need something."

"Good Bella! Let's go and you can drop your shield while we hunt," Alice said, clapping her hands.

"Sure Alice," I said as we dashed out from the house.

So I dropped my shield and Alice started laughing. Jasper and I had to stop because she was rolling around on the ground.

"What's so funny?" Jasper and I asked.

"Your next prank on Emmett. Use the whip cream, it has a better outcome," Alice giggled.

I was plotting something really good for him too. This was going to be just excellent.

My training started the next day with Jasper. It was going to be so much more fun with him than Eleazar. Jasper was going to incorporate fighting techniques into it as well. Glad he didn't make me call him Major. I heard Alice way too many times screaming that out. Ewwww. As people in America celebrate Thanksgiving with turkey and stuffing, I get my ass added to me by Jasper. This was better than having to cook a meal. It would be less time thinking about the food I would have made for Charlie.

Since my newborn strength was waning, it was ten times as hard to get a kill bite on Jasper. It had only happened once and only because Alice wore some extra tight booty shorts to distract him. Fighting with Em would always get my venom boiling. I won thirty percent of the time when I used my gift. For some reason, the bubble liked Emmett too much and doesn't work when we fight. When Jasper ordered no gifts, we are even fifty/fifty.

"Oh c'mon Swanny. Show me what you got," Em said, waggling his eyebrows

"You asked for it Emmy Bear," I said.

His resounding growl after that was all I needed to charge forth. Esme was cheering on the sidelines with Alice.

"Go Emmett! Go Bella!" Esme yelled.

"Esme you have to choose a side," Alice glared at her.

"No I don't. I love both my babies," she cooed.

I swept Emmett to the ground and he rolled away from me.

"We're not babies!" We both yelled.

"Jinx!" we both yelled again.

"Not babies. Yeah right," Esme laughed.

Emmett came charging at me again and knocked me back some. I took my fist to his chin and caught him hard. He smirked at me and went to grab me. So I dodged him. Cat and mouse we played till I wanted to end this. I tried to fake right, but Em grabbed me and slammed me down to the ground. His knees are resting on the outside of my thighs, his hands pinning me down, and his teeth at my neck. We are both breathing heavily and our eyes then locked locked. I have never seen Em this close up. His topaz eyes were darkening as our stare continued. He smelled like the beach and…and….Marshmallows? A strong voice tore us out of the moment.

"Uh Em, I think we can call that a win. I think you can get off Bella now," Jasper said.

He pulled Em off of me quickly and gives him a strange look. Em was just shaking his head, as if trying clear his head. Esme and Alice were across the field whispering and snickering. I ran over to them to find out what had them in a tizzy.

"What's with all the giggles?"

"Nothing," they answered in unison.

I raised my eyebrows at them and we all headed back to the house. No one spoke of what happened out on the field, but as I looked at Em, I could tell he was still thinking about it. I didn't want things to get awkward and Emmett thinking too hard was going to make it awkward. I grabbed a branch from a tree while running and tossed it at him.

"Hey what gives Belly Bean?" He said, a smile returning to his face.

"Just wondering why you're so slow," I laughed at him and sped off. He came barreling after me and actually passed me.

"I win Isabella," he said mockingly, knowing I hate my full name.

"Shut your face….Wilmur," I said in the same tone.

Gasps were heard from everyone, except Rosalie of course who was acting uninterested. However, I actually saw a small smirk appear on her face. Jasper was snickering like a loon and Alice was giggling like a school girl. Even Carlisle and Esme got in on it.

"Bella, I told you that in confidence," he said pouting.

He went off to sit next to Rosalie and laid his head in her lap. It made my eye twitch a little and I guess Rosalie saw it too. Her smirk grew and she began to run her fingers slowly through his hair, all while looking right at me. Woosah woosah Bella.

"JAZZ!" I growled out and immediately tried to calm myself and speak more calmly. "I mean… Jasper? How about a game of chess?" He looked at me wearily and nodded.

Jasper was setting up as I took down my shield so Alice could see the consequences of what would happen if I took out Rosabitch. There were so many ways. The manic glee that settled over me made Jasper giggle slightly. He cleared his throat to try to hide it and then glared at me. I just shrugged and thought of many more ways of destroying that skank.

"Um Bella, no to all one hundred and forty-seven ways. Oh and one hundred and fifteen is not even possible," she replied, scrunching up her nose and giggling.

I smiled back at her and gave her my thanks. I gave one last menacing glare to Rosalie and tried enjoy my game with Jasper. Of course he kicks my ass, but such is the nature of the force that is Jasper.

~ ONE MONTH LATER ~

Training went well. I had my down time every now and again. I didn't go back to the lake to talk to Edward, as I think we have already said our goodbye. He would always be in my heart though. It still would get tense with Rosalie and I swore she was working my nerve on purpose. I felt like I was bubbling up, just waiting to burst. I would often find myself running off to mediate. It was the only thing keeping me from killing her. Still, if she flicked that damn hair one more time "accidentally" in my face, I might have to rip a bitch. Woosah woosa, Bella

Reading and hunting was a common hobby for me. I had to leave the house when it seemed like one of the couples were getting…close. Jasper and Alice tend to be quiet, for the most part, as does Carlisle and Esme. But, I guess Em's and Rosalie's reconciliation is working because they were always the loudest. To be honest, I hated hearing them the most. I swore she was faking it and Em didn't deserve that. I was quite sure he was handling his…umm...business. To be totally honest, he didn't sound so into it either. So I always grabbed a book and left.

When hunting, someone usually came with me. With my control getting better, it was more for company than safety. More often than not, that company was Em. There was one time when we went hunting and I came across a bear. Little did I know that Em was hunting the same bear as me. We stood there for a good ten minutes arguing over who got the bear. Let me just say rock, paper, scissors doesn't work in vampire feeding negotiations. It also scares off bears. When we looked up to see the bear gone, we laughed a good hour about it.

I was also trying to be nice to Rosalie, just your typical greetings and so forth. I received grunts mostly, but Em's smile when I am trying is what makes me keep going. I want to keep seeing that smile. One day Esme was dusting off Edward's piano and got a little choked up. I came over to her and sat with her on the piano bench.

"I miss him too Esme," I said hugging her.

She immediately burst out in wails. I was trying to console her, but nothing was working. By now the entire family was in the room. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Rosalie remove herself from Em's arms and she walked over to us. I saw him try to grab her, but she just jerked her arm away from him. Rosalie thought this was the perfect time to open up her fucking mouth. I could see it in her eyes that she only had some fuck up shit to say. I HAD BEEN TRYING TO TALK TO HER ALL WEEK! Now she was going to speak to me? Woosah Bella.

EmPOV
Bella and I had been doing well since our little roll in the field. We were still friends and there were no awkward moments. I still didn't know what came over me, but when I had her pinned, I had a fire so hot surging through me that I thought I was changing all over again. I couldn't explain it. It was only Bella, my little Belly Bean. Also known as my deceased brother's mate. She was supposed to be like my sister right?

Although, I never felt like she was just a sister to me. She seemed to be just a really good, lifelong friend. Bella was fast becoming the best friend I ever had. She was the kind of friend that would be there with you through the good and the bad. All that was all jumbled up as I stared in her eyes that day on the field. I had the sudden urge to dry hump her. Ugh! I was no better than those Quileute dogs.

She broke me out of my funk, but it was still on the back of my mind. I started to notice her curves, that fine ass of hers. Was it bad I wanted to bite it? No, not if you didn't mind Rose setting your dick on fire. Point taken. Jasper was noticing my feelings as well and was giving me a serious case of the stink eye. One day, on our hunts without the girls, he asked me about it.

"Em, what the hell is going on with you? You can't be lusting after Bella like that," Jasper said, his disgust rolling off him.

"Dude, do you not think I know this? I have been trying not to, but ever since that day in the field, it's been on!"

"What about Rosalie? You're married and Bella was Edward's girl. That shit is just fucked up."

"I know, I know. Okay? I fucking get it."

"You better fucking get it. I will wipe the floor with you if you come at Bella wrong or disrespect Rosalie. Bitch or not, she's your wife man," Jasper said while slapping the back of my head.

"I know. I just…I know alright. Let's just fucking hunt already."

That's where we had left it. I had been trying to keep my thoughts on the good side, but Alice had been dressing Bella in some fuckable shit. I could bet money on the fact that that the damn pixie was up to no good. Does she want me dead? Rose would kill me if she knew what I was thinking.

Rose. We had gotten better. She was being civil to Bella, basically not speaking. We also had been working on our marriage. It wasn't how it was in the beginning, but it was better. We spent time alone and finally got back to having sex. I didn't think I would ever make love to her again. I just couldn't get that feeling back. At least we were connecting in some way. At times, I would feel bad because I felt like I was using Rose. I didn't want to be alone. I needed her and nobody would want a big goof like me.

She had been respecting me a bit more as well. I saw it as a struggle with her. She wanted to rule, but damnit, I had to put my fucking foot down sometimes. For example, I wasn't marrying her ass again. The previous nine times were enough for me. Also she finally understands, I think, that Bella is my best friend. We were going to hang, so get over it. I couldn't seem to stay away from Swanny anyway. We are like Calvin & Hobbes, Bonnie & Clyde, Peanut Butter & Jelly. I think you get it.

So when I saw Rose about to fuck up the good loving vibes the family had been having, I want ed to strangle her! She had been quiet whenever Bella would try to talk to her. Why did she think now was the perfect time to open up her fucking mouth?

"It was your fault he's gone!" Rose hissed at Bella.

Did she just say what I think she did? I'm a vampire and of course I heard the dumb blonde. What does she want? Another scar to match the ones on her shoulder? Bella slowly got up to face Rose. I looked over to Jasper, motioning him to get close, just in case. I then looked over to Carlisle, suggesting with my eyes that he moved Esme. He was already there pulling her closer behind him. Alice was sitting on the steps, rubbing her temples desperately trying to see the outcome. Bella was just standing there quietly, but Jasper's and Alice's simultaneous muttering of "Oh shit" let me know it was about to get bad, quickly.

"Well Rosalie dear. I was just waiting for the day you say something else stupid," Bella said her eyes turning black.

Bella moved closer to Rose, but Jasper went to grab her. Unfortunately, her bubble popped up. One day I will rise up against that bubble. Jasper growled and I was about to go in next, but I felt Alice grab my arm.

"Emmett I just saw a lot of things. I don't know what she's about to do, but you better talk her down," Alice said looking frightened.

Well duh pixie. I had to get as close as I could. We all knew Bella only allowed me into her shield. We didn't know if it was because that was all she could cover or if I was just special. I am going for me being special.

"Bella…Belly Bean let me in the shield," I said softly.

I walk closer to her, hoping she would let me in. Carlisle was trying to reason with her, taking just as softly as I was. She seemed to be calming down when Esme stupidly jumped in front of Rose. It startled Bella's senses and I could see the fire back in her eyes.

"Please Bella don't do anything rash. I can't lose another child. Even one as rude and pretentious as Rosalie," Esme said

"I won't hurt her," Bella smiled, a genuine one at that.

She dropped her shield and threw her arms up to show a sign of surrender. OH THANK GOD! Somebody up there still loves me. Bella then peered around Esme to glare at Rosalie. Esme pushed Rosalie back towards the fireplace to gain distance from Bella. Bella still seemed to be calming and glanced towards Jasper. They share a look and I thought all was going to be okay. Rose then pushed Esme away from her slightly. Oh no. Rosalie suddenly got another bout of stupid.

"I am not afraid of the human playing vampire," Rose growled, flipping Bella off.

Bella giggled and shook her head. I was shocked as shit, as was everyone else. I could not be so proud of her. Bella walked right past Rose and asked Jasper and Alice out for a hunt. I had nothing but smiles for my Swanny, but that suddenly changed when I looked back at Rosalie.

"What the hell is your problem Rosalie? Have you not learned not to frustrate the newborn?" I yelled at her.

"Oh please Em, she was weak then and she's weak now. It's her fault we were all uprooted and lost our brother. It's her fault that things had to change," Rose ranted.

She turned back to Bella, who was just about to walk out behind Jasper and Alice.

"He never loved you. He was just fascinated with the human. And that…was his downfall. You might as well have lit the fucking match yourself," Rose screamed.

I was in fucking shock. As her mate, wasn't I supposed to love her no matter what? How could she be such a bitch? At that point, Bella stopped and turned around. Rosalie was dead in her sight and her eyes were as black as night. No matter how much Rose was an idiot, no good would come from killing her. There was no returning from that. I didn't want that on Bella's conscience.

"Bella please don't. Whatever it is you are thinking….don't…please," I begged and Rose made matters worse by hitting me upside the head, growling at me.

"Don't beg her for shit Emmett," Rose screamed.

Bella mumbled a quick apology to Esme. Then the ends of Rose's hair were engulfed in flames. It was slowly getting closer to her head. How the hell is she doing that? Then I saw it, the shimmer of her shield. She projected the fucking bubble on Rose's hair. Where the fuck did the fire come from? Rose's screeches were ear spilting.

"BELLA! THAT IS ENOUGH!" Carlisle yelled.

Bella didn't listen, only growling to him in protest. She kept going and Rose's hair was just about to her shoulders now. Rose was frantically trying to stop it, screaming for one of us to kill Bella. I dashed over to Bella and grabbed her arms.

"Bella, please stop. That's enough. Just stop it please. It's not worth it. She's not worth it," I begged.

It was not working! Rosalie's head was about to be ashes before us. Esme was trying to break the bubble herself. You could hear her hand cracking as she pounded it. Bella needed to stop this!

"Isabella Marie Swan, you are better than this. Better than her!" I yelled.

Bella turned to me and our eyes locked. Her eyes began to turn to normal. I glanced over my shoulder to see the bubble fade away and Esme put out the fire. The flames stopped and Bella collapsed in my arms, sobbing. I tried to shush her, but Rosalie's screaming about her damn hair deterred that. I handed Bella to Jasper and asked her to let him in. She nodded her head and he worked on calming her down. He led her out to hunt with Carlisle following behind. The latter surely going to find out about the fire that Bella had in her bubble. I spun back to scowl at my wife and grabbed her by the arm. She was muttering about her fucking hair and how Bella better hope her hair could be fixed. Then she went on to how she'd always be better than Bella. I shook Rose to get her attention and shut her the hell up.

"I never thought you could ever make me hate you. Well congratulations, today you fucking did," I snarled at her.

I pushed her away from me, thoroughly disgusted with her. I walked away from her shouting at me, yelling for me to come back. I needed to calm down and I had to go check on Bella. I couldn't leave her alone, not now.


A/N: A little EmPOV at the end of this chapter. I find that he can be extremely hilarious and deadly serious. This is why me loves him…so please review for my bebe. *Nemesis is the Greek Goddess of Vengeance, if anyone was interested.

Fic recs: Hit and Run by lifelesslyndsey. It's a Bella and Alistair pairing, different I know, but so worth the read. Also The Mail Order Bride & it's sequel Bear Valley Ranch by Lady Gwynedd is an awesome Edward/Bella A/H story that takes place in the late 1800's out west.