P4
'So as I said, Daria, you were fortunate that you did not contract any infections and you seem to be recovering satisfactorily.' The turbaned Sikh surgeon said in his slightly comical, to Daria's ears, Punjabi accent. 'There is still a risk of adult respiratory distress syndrome due to the damage to your lungs as well as liver, kidney and brain damage. Unfortunately that's one of the hardest things to quantify, how are you feeling, in yourself?'
'I honestly can't answer that... with any certainty... I don't feel like trying out for cheerleading so I hope my brain is still in there. I can manage to get out to the bathroom on my own now though it still hurts like hell "down there" when I walk.'
'You are pushing yourself a little hard. It's been less than a week since your attack, I am in favor of patients recovering as quickly as they can but... and I must stress this to you... most of your injuries are internal and you don't have pain receptors in the tissues inside there. You could rupture a suture and start bleeding again internally and we wouldn't know about it until your blood pressure drops and you fall down. I must insist that you call a nurse and use a wheelchair until I say otherwise. Please do not fight with me on this, Daria. I am only concerned for you, do you understand?'
Daria sighed. 'I guess so' she answered. 'I just... I mean I just want to go to my own bed in my own home. I can't... it won't be over until I get away from here... no offense... I mean everyone here's been great but...'
'I understand, Daria. But you know you cannot rush things, your body will recover at its own speed and you have to let it. Bluntly, you will be here for at least another week so you should just accept that and try to enjoy the little holiday. Are you so keen to back to school?'
'Hah, no, not that... just my own place, you know? My little sanctuary. School can go and... wait for me, so it can. I think I can catch up.' She added drily.
He smiled at her and said 'I'm glad to see you're in better humor. Your friend explained to me that you were having trouble dealing with the trauma of your attack. Are you coming to terms with that now or are you still avoiding discussion of the issue?'
'Well... at least I can discuss discussing the... issue... if that makes any sense. I know what happened to me, I remember it... but... I don't dwell on it. When I let it I see... faces... and feel...' Her breathing was becoming labored and she was tensing up as she spoke, her knuckles whitening on her clenched fists.
'OK, ok, happy place now, think of bunnies.'
That did it. She turned a glare on him and growled 'My only interest in bunnies is to skin them and make rabbit stew, got any carrots?'
'My my, your friend Jane was right... she knew exactly what you'd say. How do you spell "misdirection"?'
Daria smiled despite herself. 'That bitch is gonna get hers, soon as I get outta here and enroll in a gun club. So you're saying sit down and keep quiet for another week at least?'
'We have cable.'
'Whoop di doo!'
'We have an expression we like to use around here for patients such as yourself. Would you like to hear it?'
'Sure, shoot.'
'You'll live.'
'That's it?'
'Hmm, hmm.'
'Thanks.'
The surgeon took his leave of her and left her alone. Jane had gone back to school that morning and wouldn't be in until the afternoon with Quinn and her Mother. Her Father had been discharged and was resting at home. She picked up the book Quinn had brought in and tried to read it. She was far more worried about the possibility of damage to her brain than she'd let on to the surgeon. This book was a case in point. She'd thanked Quinn for buying her a present of a hardcopy of Umberto Eco's "The Island of the Day Before" but Quinn, looking puzzled, had explained she didn't buy it but taken it from Daria's bedside table. It even had one of Daria's bookmarks between pages 56 and 57 but she had no recollection of ever having seen it before except in a bookshop.
'How do you know what you don't know?' She asked herself. 'How do you know you're not gone mad?' She couldn't answer that one either, so she worried.
'Excuse us Miss, could we speak to you for a moment?' Her reverie was interrupted by an attractive but intense looking Latina woman and an older grizzled looking man both in the uniforms of the Lawndale Police department.
'That depends... I don't know if I'm up to being questioned by the police.' Daria replied. 'Did the Doctor say you could question me?'
'Actually we don't need to question you... well Detective Sergeant O'Malley will want to speak to you but there's no hurry with that, we pretty much have all the details about the case that we need. I'm Sergeant Kendall and this is Officer Alvarez. We really just wanted to see how you were.'
'Oh... well hi, I guess... have we met?' Daria asked worriedly.
'No. We were some of the officers on the scene last Friday night, Miss. May I call you Daria?'
'It's my name... do you... usually visit hospitals...?'
'No Ma'm.' Alvarez spoke up. 'But we don't get cases like yours very often, the whole department wanted to send you our best wishes and hope you make a full recovery.'
'Thanks? Ehmm... would you like to sit down?'
'Thanks. So how are you? Recovering ok?' Asked Kendall. 'Is there anything you need to ask us?' He continued.
'What? No... no... .' She stopped and looked at them for a full minute. "Didyougetthem?' She then asked, all in a rush.
'Yep, we got them... and between O'malley's ploy and your friend Kevin's testimony they're going away, hopefully for a long time. The D.A. Is hoping to get a conviction based on their confession and their testimony against each other without you having to testify.'
'That's... that would be... good... I don't think I could... I mean if I had to... I would hate to have to go through it all again... you know?' Daria was looking distressed.
Alvarez leaned close and took her hand. 'It's ok Daria, it's ok.'
After a few moments to compose herself Daria asked 'What ploy?'
Kendall explained what O'Malley and Kevin had done to Daria's assailants in the early hours of Saturday morning. Daria found she could detach herself from it and hear the story as if it was something on TV. She smiled grimly when she heard how they'd turned on each other. When Kendall was finished his narration Daria said 'I hope they rot forever in the blackest pit of the dirtiest corner of the farthest reaches of hell!'
'Amen, sister.' Alvarez answered, offering her a high five, which she hit, despite the iv drip in her arm.
'We'd better hit the road, bad guys to catch and such.' Kendall then said. 'I'm really glad to see you... I mean I'm happy to meet you, Daria. Glad we could do somethin' for ya. Wish we coulda prevented it but despite what we want people to believe we can't be everywhere. Be well.'
'Thanks Sergeant, Officer.' Daria stared bemusedly at the door for some minutes after the officers left. She let out a long sigh after a while and realized she'd let something go that she didn't know she'd been holding on to. She'd been **** scared at the thought of testifying in a courtroom against... people... men who'd... grabbed her in the STREET LIKE SHE WAS A... a what... what was she? A victim? 'Stop feeling sorry for yourself ya dumb bitch, people have survived worse than this... Holocaust survivors... that little girl in Vietnam and the napalm... soldiers coming back from the war with bits blown off... lotsa people are worse off than you and here you sit in a private room of a private hospital in your white, middle class suburb and what have you to complain about? What?'
'A pain in my crotch and the loss of... what?... what was it worth anyhow, lotsa girls just give it away... or... or... sell it...' and she knew, knew, that that didn't make one damn bit of difference because what happened to her happened to her, it was her pain, her loss, her life ruined... if she let it be ruined...
'OK, so maybe I have a choice... me.'
