A/N: Thank you guys so much for your lovely reviews and for following and favoriting. You all are the best, and it seriously means the world to me that you guys are enjoying this.
There's nothing I love more than teasing Fitzsimmons banter, so there's a lot of that in this one, but there's also a lot of deep meaningful discussion, which is just as important. But, this really is, more than anything, just a very happy, sweet, "one perfect day" sort of fic, so nothing stays too sad for very long.
The chapter title comes from "Sad Song" by We The Kings.
"So, this place is a little further than some of the others, but it got great reviews online when I checked it out back before…" Fitz trailed off as he turned down the main street of the nearest decent sized town. He knew they would have to discuss the past four months eventually, but he didn't want to have the conversation before they had even gotten to the restaurant.
He glanced over at Jemma next to him. She seemed pensive rather than happy and carefree as she had been since they left the hanger.
Fitz was about to apologize, but then Jemma spoke. "You mean that you still remembered the restaurants that you looked up for our date four months ago?"
Fitz smiled sheepishly. "Well, I kept the list." He pulled it out of his pocket for emphasis, the restaurant they were heading to circled in red. "I hoped that I'd get to use someday, and, well, here we are." He shrugged to say it was no big deal.
Jemma reached over and grabbed his hand, and he turned to look at her as much as he could while driving. She was smiling widely, a look in her eyes that Fitz couldn't quite place. It was similar to the expression that often accompanied an exasperated "oh Fitz," but there was something more to this one that Fitz hadn't seen before.
Before Fitz could really dwell on Jemma's expression, he spotted their, so he pulled in to a small parking lot that was situated next to a little Italian bistro.
He parked the car, and then got out and went around to take Jemma's hand. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving," he said grinning.
Jemma laughed. "But when are you not starving?"
Fitz just shook his head in response, deciding not to add that this was the first time he had really had an appetite in nearly four months.
"Reservation for Fitz," Fitz said smoothly to the hostess as they walked inside. Jemma had been examining the restaurant's décor, but at Fitz's words, she looked up, surprised.
"Ah, yes, party of two," the hostess replied genially. "If you would follow me, please."
The woman guided them to a cozy table in one of the corners of the small room next door. "A server will be with you shortly," the woman said, handing them menus before returning to her hostess stand.
Jemma was still looking at Fitz curiously. "You made reservations?"
Fitz stared back, his eyebrows raised. "You sound so shocked, Simmons," her last name rolling off his tongue as he joked with her, everything seeming completely natural and familiar. "I am capable of planning ahead."
It was Jemma's turn to look sheepish. "I just meant that I hadn't realized you called before, not that you weren't capable…"
She trailed off as Fitz started laughing.
Before Simmons could make an exasperated comment at his expense, their waiter arrived to take their drink orders, and Fitz grinned at the timing. Simmons would never dare be mean to him with an audience. He smirked at his companion behind the waiter's back, but she just rolled her eyes at Fitz when the waiter turned to ask for his selection.
As the man left their table, Fitz and Simmons both burst into laughter, despite the fact that nothing was especially funny.
Their laughter subsided into comfortable silence as they stared at each other, small smiles on both of their faces as if placed there permanently. "I definitely didn't expect to be doing this today," Fitz said after a moment, shaking his head in disbelief.
Jemma reached out and took his hand. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."
Fitz could tell that she meant it.
"We should look at the menus, you know," she said after a moment, laughter in her eyes. "I thought you were 'starving.'"
"I'd rather look at you than a silly menu," Fitz said quietly, but he opened his up anyway, peeking over the top to spot Simmons blushing across the table.
The waiter returned with their drinks a minute later, and Jemma ordered Spaghetti Bolognese, much to Fitz's annoyance as he had been planning on ordering it as well.
"I'll have the same," Fitz said as Jemma smirked at him from across the table.
"Copying me now, Fitz?" Jemma said smugly as the waiter left. "Where's the originality?"
Fitz had to work very hard not to smile at his best friend. Her complacency and her self-satisfied grin made him simultaneously want to swat at her arm and kiss her senseless. She had no right to be that adorable. Instead, he simply raised his eyebrows at her. "Well, they say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery."
Jemma stared at him a moment, her eyes softening and her smug smile turning into a genuine one. She leaned across the table and pressed her lips softly to his.
Pulling back, she smiled almost to herself. "I like being able to do that whenever I want."
Fitz just nodded stupidly, a grin spreading across his face.
Jemma just smiled back at him until she finally took a deep breath and sat back. "Okay, tell me about what I missed. Skye and Lincoln filled me in on the Inhuman missions, but I don't know much about anything else. How's May? She seems… different." Jemma stopped for a moment, thinking. "Good different though."
"Definitely good different," Fitz agreed and he started telling her about May's time away and how Dr. Garner was spending a lot more time on base.
And from there things moved naturally. The conversation turned to Skye and how she was as a team leader – Fitz saying she was a natural at it and that Coulson was extremely proud of her – and then to Lincoln, who Fitz said he liked.
"But did you notice anything, uh, between him and Skye?" Fitz asked, trying to get Jemma to catch his meaning. "I think Lincoln has, you know, a thing for Skye."
Jemma laughed. "A thing for Skye? I remember not too terribly long ago someone else had a thing for Skye." She looked at Fitz pointedly, her eyebrows raised.
Fitz ducked his head and shrank back in his seat. "That was a very long time ago, and we don't need to discuss it," he said rapidly, his voice monotone.
Jemma laughed again, harder this time. "You make it so easy, Fitz!"
"Make what easy?" Fitz asked, flustered.
"For me to get you all worked up over things," Jemma replied, grinning widely. "It's quite enjoyable."
"Glad to hear that me being uncomfortable brings you enjoyment," Fitz grumbled to himself.
Jemma leaned across the table and pecked his cheek affectionately. "You wouldn't want it any other way." She shook her head and then turned back to the matter at hand. "But Skye and Lincoln. I can't say I've really noticed anything, though I have really only spent a few hours with the pair of them, and that's not enough to base an opinion on."
Fitz nodded, glad that he was out from under Jemma's microscope. "I don't think Skye's really noticed either, but Lincoln's always volunteering to go on missions with her, and I don't think he really likes S.H.I.E.L.D. that much, but he sticks around for her. He brings her food after training sessions too, stuff like that. But I don't know." He shrugged helplessly. "I'm not too good at this sort of thing."
Jemma smiled at him thoughtfully. "I really wouldn't be surprised if you're right. I'll keep an eye out and maybe bring it up with Skye. At any rate, it'll be something to throw back at her when she tries to tease me about you, which I'm certain is going to happen sooner rather than later."
"What's the betting she's sitting waiting for us in the hanger when we get back?" Fitz asked, rolling his eyes.
"It's going to be a nightmare," Jemma agreed, shaking her head. "At least she means well."
Fitz smiled slightly, thinking of all those nights that Skye stayed up late with him, sometimes working, sometimes talking, often just being with him in silence. Skye knew better than almost anyone how much Jemma meant to him. "Yeah, she does.
Then Jemma asked after Hunter and Bobbi, and Fitz was able to report that both of their friends were doing well and were called in to consult every few weeks, partly to make use of their expertise, but, more than anything, just to have an excuse to get the gang back together. Hunter had actually come along on one of the very first missions to find Jemma, one that put them in a less-stable region that would have required back-up had they actually been required to spend more than ten minutes there scanning, but Fitz decided not to mention that fact since he and Jemma were both avoiding the subject of Jemma's absence. Instead he just added that the last time he saw Hunter and Bobbi was a month before, but that he wouldn't be surprised if they stopped by base sometime in the next week or so (of course that was an outright lie, since he knew for a fact that Hunter and Bobbi were en route to the Playground as he spoke, but Fitz didn't feel bad about that).
Eventually, Jemma had asked, slightly hesitantly, about the lab, and Fitz told her about several of his interactions, most of them more recent, with members of the S.H.I.E.L.D. science division and what they were working on, since Fitz himself had done nothing besides look for Jemma and offer some comments and recommendations to other scientists and to his friends in the past four months.
"And one of the scientists comes up to me with this gun," Fitz said, recounting to Jemma his run in with an, in his opinion, under-qualified S.H.I.E.L.D. scientist from earlier that day, "and it took me a minute to even realize it was one of our ICERs because he'd made the barrel of the prototype so big without adjusting anything else, just to make it 'more powerful'-"
"but the balance-"
"-would be completely off. Exactly what I said." Fitz smiled slightly at the fact that Jemma understood his concern so immediately. "I don't know what kind of idiots S.H.I.E.L.D. is employing nowadays. They're all into power this and power that. I think it's the Inhumans." He sighed. "We've got a couple with 'super-strength,'" he put air quotes around the phrase, "as everyone says, which isn't really what it is, of course, but it's easier than going into the details. But I think it's given the science division, at least, some new idea that everything has to be stronger. It's maddening."
"Have you gotten to know any of the new Inhumans?"
Fitz shook his head. "I've spent time with some of them on missions, but not really. I like Lincoln okay, like I said, but I don't know too much about the others. They've all seemed kind of wary of me these past four months. I guess lurking around a room with a giant monolith that's supposed to be dangerous to Inhumans wouldn't make me the most approachable person." He laughed slightly. "All our friends were really supportive, but everyone else who was at base and knew us backed off a lot and stayed away unless they had new information, and then the newest people who'd never met you all kind of thought I was crazy and tiptoed around me like something bad was going to happen if they hung around too long." Fitz shook his head. "Skye tried to help out though. One day I heard one of the other Inhumans ask her about me and she just said that I was the best friend in the world and that they should all try to get along with me because if something bad ever happened, I was the one who she would want trying to save her life."
"Well, I definitely agree with that one," Jemma said, smiling softly.
Fitz raised his eyebrows. "You better not be thinking about getting in any more trouble, Jemma Simmons. That's not allowed."
Now it was Jemma's turn to look incredulous. "Not allowed? Since when are you in charge of that?"
"Since we found you in a cave after you were missing for four months," Fitz said without thinking, bringing them crashing from joking banter to serious conversation in one breath.
Thankfully, their food arrived at almost that exact moment, interrupting the tense silence that was stretching between them.
"It looks wonderful," Jemma said once their waiter had left again, her words sounding very forced. "You still starving, Fitz?" she tried to joke, though there was an edge to her voice that was more cautious and less teasing.
Fitz decided to ignore the strained atmosphere for the present moment and focus on the fact that he was here with Jemma in a nice restaurant about to eat good food. They could worry about the past later.
"I am, rather," Fitz replied almost casually. He took a bite and groaned comically, trying to get Jemma to smile again. "This is amazing, Jemma. Go on, try yours."
Jemma still seemed unsure about where they had left things, but she smiled nonetheless and picked up her fork to take a bite as well. Instantly her smile grew wider. "This is amazing, Fitz," she said, almost sighing with contentment. "You're lucky I'm so good at ordering so you can copy me and get such good food."
Fitz raised his eyebrows, his fork frozen in midair halfway to his mouth. "Well excuse me, Jemma," he said, his tone teasing, "I think I deserve most of the credit here since I picked the restaurant."
"Maybe the rest of the food here's terrible, and I just happened to select the only decent item on the menu," Jemma countered, her eyes glinting at him.
"I'd say the odds of that are…"
And on it went from there. Their playful bickering soon turned to reminiscing about their days at the Academy and Sci-Ops, reviving old arguments that hadn't seen the light of day in years and had long stopped being serious.
Forty minutes later found them laughing across an empty table, the dishes that had previously held their SpagBol having been cleared away long ago. Fitz had eaten his at an alarming rate and then finished off the last bits of Jemma's, much to her feigned offense and genuine amusement.
Fitz was doing his best impression of Coulson from his first days with his new hand, which Jemma found very entertaining.
"Fitz, Fitz, look at this! I can't even move my pinky!" Fitz said in a slightly mocking approximation of their director's voice.
"But then I tapped it, and it moved just fine," Fitz continued, rolling his eyes. "Coulson's great, but he's such a drama queen."
Jemma laughed and nodded in agreement. "He really is; though, in his defense, losing a hand without warning is bound to be a bit jarring."
Fitz shrugged slightly. "I suppose, but this was a full month after the fact, and three days after Mack fixed him up with the hand." Fitz thought for a moment, and then sighed. "I think he made a bigger deal out of it than it was to keep me distracted. If I was paying attention to his hand then I wasn't thinking about the stone."
Jemma's eyes dropped from his, and neither of them spoke.
They had been dodging the subject all evening – the closest they'd come to it being Fitz's comment just before their food arrived – treating the reason why Jemma didn't know about the rest of the team almost as her having taken a four month vacation rather than that her having been swallowed by an alien rock, but Fitz knew that it was getting late and they had to have this discussion sometime. Now seemed as good a time as any.
"I saw a park down the street when we drove in," Jemma said finally, "do you want to go there and talk about… everything." She glanced up at him. "I'd rather do it where I can sit beside you instead of across a table."
Fitz nodded, glad that Jemma was still up for having this conversation. After the months of them barely speaking to each other when Jemma returned from her stint at Hydra the previous year, it was wonderful to finally have this openness between them. "Let me just ask for the bill."
"I'm not letting you pay," Jemma argued, as he knew she would.
Fitz rolled his eyes. "This is our first real date, and you've been missing for four months. I'm paying for you, end of discussion."
Jemma sat back in her chair, defeated, but a small smile played on her lips.
As it turned out, their fight had been pointless.
"Yes, your bill has already been taken care of," their waiter informed them after Fitz asked. "Have a wonderful evening."
Fitz and Jemma looked at each other as the waiter moved away from their table.
"Coulson?" Jemma asked.
"Coulson," Fitz agreed, grinning. "The man thinks of everything!"
"And to think, we've been sitting here making fun of him," Jemma said regretfully.
"Sorry, Coulson," Fitz said to the ceiling as though the director was listening in on their conversation.
Jemma sighed. "You ready?"
Fitz stood and took her hand as she got to her feet. "Course."
Fitz drove the car from the small parking lot and down a couple blocks to the park Simmons had spotted earlier. He parked the car on the side of the road, and they got out and walked in through a small wrought-iron gate on the corner, Jemma's hand securely in his.
The pair walked in silence for a few minutes, their feet taking them down a path toward a gazebo and a small pond, the end of a gorgeous sunset coloring the sky above them with pinks and purples. A few children ran around a play structure by a pavilion in the opposition direction as a few adults, most likely the kids' parents, talked by a picnic table, but aside from that small group, the park was deserted.
Fitz sighed finally. "So what should we start with? The stone? Or should we go back to the med pod?" If they were actually going to do this, he might as well put it all on the line.
Jemma nudged him over to a wooden bench along the side of the path, a stretch of grass in front of them with the pond just beyond it. "Let's go to the beginning then. Med pod."
Fitz nodded resolutely. "Okay, med pod." He paused for a moment, not sure how to start exactly. "Well, I guess I'll say I'm sorry."
Jemma looked at him sharply as though unsure exactly what he meant.
"For kind of springing the whole "you're more than that" thing on you a second before I broke the glass and flooded the pod," he explained, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
Jemma raised her eyebrows. "Kind of springing it on me? Kind of?" She laughed mirthlessly. "Fitz, that came out of nowhere for me. What did you expect me to say?"
"Nothing, honestly, nothing," Fitz answered quickly. "I thought I was going to die, and I just had to tell you why I needed you to live."
Jemma didn't reply for a moment. "Did it ever occur to you that I needed you to live too?"
"It was the only way out, Jemma," Fitz said, not looking at her.
"But it wasn't worth what it did to you, Fitz," Jemma fired back. "I sat next to you for nine days while you were in a coma, and all I could do was try to think of what I should have done instead of let you sacrifice yourself for me. Skye and Trip did anything to try to distract me, but I just needed my best friend to be okay."
"But I wasn't okay," Fitz said quietly. "Really I wasn't even the same best friend."
Jemma took a deep breath. "I was just glad you were alive, Fitz. It didn't matter that you weren't the same. That hurt, but it was okay because at least you were still with me."
"Didn't seem like it was okay when you left," Fitz said before he could stop himself. He knew that this was something they needed to talk about, but this was not how he had wanted to breach the subject. "I'm sorry, Jemma, I didn't mean-"
"Yes you did," Jemma interrupted. "And I never actually talked to you about why I left, so you have every reason to be angry with me." She sighed again. "But I didn't leave because you were too different or because I gave up on you. I left for you. So you could get better."
Fitz stared at her. This was new. "What?"
Jemma nodded hurriedly. "You kept turning to me to finish your sentences, and sometimes I could do it, but a lot of the time I couldn't. After the med pod, it was like we weren't on the same page anymore. I didn't know what you were thinking, and you needed me to know. You were so dependent on me understanding you exactly how I understood you before, and I didn't. And even if I had known, it wasn't good for you to have me there giving you all answers because it hurt me so much to see you struggle." Jemma sniffled, and Fitz realized she had started crying. "So I left so you could get better on your own. So you could figure it all out without us trying to act like nothing had ever happened." She inhaled and wiped the tears from her eyes, trying to force her lips into a smile. "And it worked, didn't it? When I got back you had some new friends to help you out who weren't there comparing everything to how things were before, even unconsciously. Mack said that in all the time he'd known you, he thought I was the only one to make you worse, and he was right, Fitz. Up until we started working together again in Puerto Rico, you were better when I wasn't around."
Fitz ran his hands through his hair. How could he have been so stupid? And how could Jemma possibly think that he had been better without her? "But you're wrong, Jemma." He paused. "I mean maybe not about everything. When you got back, we never talked, and I just thought that maybe if I tried harder to be the person I used to be, things would go back to normal, and we'd be back to being best friends again, but that wasn't really possible, so it just seemed like I was getting worse. But that doesn't make it your fault or mean I was better without you." He took a deep breath. "Because I was lost without you, Jemma. I stopped even trying to talk to Skye or May or Coulson after you left. I just stayed by myself because I thought that you'd given up on me, and if you had given up on me then what was the point? I didn't want to work to get better if I didn't have you with me. And there's even more than that." Fitz thought back to those months that Jemma had been away at Hydra. "I saw you, when you were gone that first time. You stayed with me and talked to me and gave me advice."
"You mean you hallucinated-"
"Not exactly," Fitz interrupted. "It was just my subconscious. Everyone thought I was talking to myself, but I was talking to you. You'd finish my sentences, and you encouraged me to go talk to Mack and Hunter. And you-" Fitz stopped again, fighting back tears. "You told me to move on because you were gone, because you left me." He wiped at his eyes. "And so when you got back, I'd been so used to you finishing my sentences in my head that when you couldn't in person, I just got so frustrated. Mack and Hunter, they didn't know how smart I was. They knew this different, broken me and that was easier."
"You weren't broken, Fitz," Jemma cut in, placing her hand on his arm, her eyes serious. "You were just different, and, you're right, it was hard to deal with at first. You weren't my same best friend anymore." She stared at him hopefully. "But that didn't matter, that doesn't matter. Those months didn't make you less than you were before, they made you stronger, I think, more independent, which I think was something both of us maybe needed." She offered him a small smile. "I'm so proud of you, Fitz. And I'm sorry for leaving and for not explaining things. It just hurt so much." She shook her head, tears still on her cheeks. "It was so stupid of me not to say something before. Everything was just…"
Fitz wrapped his arms around Jemma, letting her sob quietly into his shirt, his tears dripping down into her hair. "It's okay, Jemma," he said softly, his hands running up and down her back comfortingly, trying to make sure she understood that he didn't blame her for anything, that he could never blame her for anything.
He could feel Jemma's sobs lessening beneath his arms and he pulled back slightly so she could wipe away her tears. "Sorry," she said, her voice almost laughing. "I'm such a mess, and I've cried all over your shirt!" She ran her hands over the damp fabric.
Fitz pushed her hair back and let his hand run down her cheek. "Don't worry about it, Jemma. I don't mind."
Jemma reached up and took his hand in hers, bringing it down to rest between them. They sat there together a moment, Fitz's other hand resting on Jemma's waist, the twilight reflecting off the pond across from them.
"I'm sorry for not telling you about Skye," Fitz said suddenly, wanting to get the weight of this other conflict off his chest. "I should have trusted you because you care about Skye as much as I do, and I know you'd never do anything to hurt her. Science is supposed to be sacred for us, and I ignored that, and you didn't deserve it, Jemma, and I'm just… I'm sorry." He looked at Jemma for a reaction, but she was staring off at the pond.
Finally she sighed. "Thank you, Fitz. That means a lot." She turned back to him, a small smile on her face. "I understand why you did what you did, and while I still think it was wrong, I know that you were only trying to do what you thought was best for Skye, and I can respect that. Just don't mess with any of my blood samples ever again." Her words were serious, but the teasing glint that had been in her eyes for most of dinner had returned.
Fitz fought back a smile as he held up his hands in surrender. "Never again, Jemma Simmons. I promise."
"Good," she paused, a smile creeping onto her face, "Leopold Fitz."
Fitz raised his eyebrows at the use of his first name, and then, remembering something, his eyes narrowed. "You called me Leo a few days after everything with Skye. You called me Leo in front of everyone."
Jemma looked sheepish. "I was cross with you. I felt you deserved it."
"It was weird," Fitz reflected, "you not calling me Fitz. I didn't like it."
Jemma folded her arms. "Well, it seems you've abandoned calling me Simmons, so I don't see the problem."
Fitz grew defensive. "Yeah, well Jemma's such a beautiful name. And, more than that, it's normal. I've got bloody Leopold! What kind of parent names their infant son Leopold?"
Jemma laughed at that, throwing her head back, the beautiful sound filling the previously tense air around them. "I've never seen what's so bad about Leo. It's cute."
"Monkeys are cute, Simmons," Fitz answered automatically.
"Leos are pretty cure too, or at least the one I know." Jemma quickly leaned in and kissed Fitz, though for not nearly as long as he would have preferred.
Fitz tried to follow her lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss her again and really maybe never stop kissing her, but Jemma just shook her head, that sad look back in her eyes. "We still have a lot to talk about."
Fitz knew she was right, but that didn't make him any happier with the situation. He sat back on the bench, holding back a sigh.
"I think it's my turn to go first," Jemma said. "About what I said in the locker room before you left to go fight the Inhumans."
Fitz nodded slowly. "Okay."
Jemma took a deep breath, clearly getting her thoughts together. "When I first got back from Hydra and things were weird between us, I ended up talking about it to Bobbi and she said that her relationships have always been like rollercoasters with loops and turns and stopping and starting and I asked her if the ride was worth it, and she said she'd let me know. But then you and I weren't even friends again, so none of it mattered. Every so often I thought that maybe there was something, but then you'd go back to the garage or something would happen and we'd be back where we were before. That is until the coup." Jemma paused, the memory of that day clearly in her head. "Then you were back beside me, and we were Fitzsimmons again, fighting to keep our little family together, and everything was so confusing, but I was so grateful just to have you back, even though you had to leave. But then Bobbi got hurt and Hunter wouldn't leave her side and it reminded me of those days I stayed with you when you were in your coma, and then you were about to go and I knew I had to say something." She smiled slightly at her feet. "I guess I do sort of understand why you said what you said in the med pod. I needed you to know that it wasn't just you. I needed you to come back to me." Her eyes stayed locked on the ground.
Fitz had never been more in love with Jemma Simmons than he was at that moment. He reached out and brushed a strand of behind her ear.
Jemma looked up at him. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner."
Fitz shook his head. "Doesn't matter anymore. We're here now aren't we?"
"Yeah, we are." When Jemma leaned in to kiss him this time, she stayed there, not pulling back as Fitz pressed her to him, kissing her with everything he had.
"I love you, Jemma," he breathed out between kisses, his words involuntary, but nonetheless true.
Jemma froze in his arms, and Fitz realized what he had just said.
He pulled back frantically, his eyes locked on Jemma's as he tried to explain himself. "I didn't mean to say that. Um, it just, uh, slipped out. It doesn't have to-"
"Fitz, stop," Jemma said, reaching out a hand to quiet him.
Fitz stared at her and found, to his confusion, that she was smiling.
Jemma cupped his cheek with her hand. "I love you too, Fitz."
"You- you do?" Fitz asked helplessly.
Jemma stared at him with that same look she had had in the car when he had shown her the list of restaurants that he'd kept. "Of course I do, Fitz. I thought that was implied."
Fitz finally understood what that expression was. It was love, pure and simple. Jemma Simmons loved him, and he loved her back.
A wide grin spread across Fitz's face as he stood up, taking Jemma's hand and pulling her up with him. He picked her up and spun her around like he had in the airplane hanger. "I love you, I love you, I love you." He put her down and kissed her again, over and over, across her forehead, down her neck, back to her lips, telling her between each one that he loved her, that he would always love her.
Jemma laughed as she pulled him in for a hug, her head resting lightly on his shoulder. "And I love you even more."
Fitz pulled back at that, eyebrows raised. "Oh really? That cannot be true. Because there is no way anyone can love anyone more than I love you."
Jemma grinned at him, a competitive glint in her eyes. "Well, I think that's impossible, because I just spent four months in a weird stasis chamber in a cave where I spent pretty much the entire time thinking about how much I love you."
Fitz froze at the casual mention of what Simmons had been through, the first real detail that she had shared with Fitz or with anyone.
Jemma sucked in a breath. "Do you want to hear about it?"
"Only if you want to talk," Fitz replied immediately.
Jemma nodded. "I do." She gestured back to the bench. "At any rate, I'll have to tell Coulson about it soon enough, and I'd rather talk the whole thing through with you first anyway."
Fitz let her sit down first, and then he followed, lacing his fingers through hers in a show of support. The moon had begun to rise over the pond, illuminating the rapidly darkening landscape.
Jemma took a deep breath. "I know you saw what happened on the security footage, so I can skip through that-"
"Actually," Fitz interrupted. "I want to apologize for messing with the lock. I don't know how the door got completely open, but I definitely did something when I was asking you to dinner."
Jemma smiled at him softly. "I don't really think anything you did made much of a difference. It was like the stone wanted the case to open. I still don't understand that." She furrowed her brow. "But anyway, it opened and sucked me inside, but then I wasn't inside."
"You got transported to the cave, you mean," Fitz asked for clarification, but Jemma shook her head.
"I mean, I might have been," she corrected herself after a moment, "but I didn't even know I was in a cave until Skye knocked in the wall which I'm guessing disrupted the stasis chamber. Lincoln mentioned that there was some sort of energy field there, but that Skye breaking the wall released it."
Fitz nodded, following along.
"For me though, I felt like I was floating in space, literally space," she emphasized. "I could see starts and planets and another world, but there was no one there. There were just more stones like the one that had sucked me in, but they were covered with writing. I could probably write some of it down, I saw it for so long." Jemma's eyes were bright, filled with a desire to know more. "But there was this wall of mist that reminded me of what Skye said about the mist that killed Trip, and so I tried to stay away from it, but I couldn't control where I was going, so I floated through it, but behind the mist, it was just the same, and that happened over and over again. Nothing changed, and it really didn't feel like time was passing at all. The only reason I noticed that it had been a long time was how much I thought about you."
Jemma paused, smiling slightly. "That was all I did really after I took in my surroundings and tried to move and passed through the mist a couple times. There didn't seem to be anything I could do to help myself, so I focused on you. I went through how we became friends, all the best moments from the Academy, our days impressing superiors at Sci-Ops, me convincing you to try to go out in the field, those first happier days on the Bus, all the way up to you asking if I wanted to go to dinner. I just played these past ten years in my head on a loop, and I just knew that I loved you. That'd I'd loved you for a long time. Longer than I'd realized before." She looked up at him. "But every so often I'd have the thought that I had been passing through the mist in thatplacefor a very long time, and how was I ever going to get back to you because we had a date, but I couldn't move, and even if I could have moved, there was nowhere for me to go to." Jemma stopped, sighing.
Fitz didn't know what to say.
"I think it would have killed me if I was Inhuman, that mist," she said after a moment. "That was the only thing I really figured out. It was like the stone had transported me to a spot on what I'm assuming was the Kree world that was designed to get rid of the Inhumans. Lincoln did tell us that the teleporter said the stone was dangerous to them. It was like this place was set up to kill any Inhumans that came in contact with the rock-"
"-so they would drift through the mist and their bodies would turn to stone and disintegrate in one of those caves where we found you-"
"-except I'm not Inhuman, so it just served as a stasis chamber until Skye disrupted it."
"Wow," Fitz said simply. "The Kree really are serious about getting rid of the Inhumans."
Jemma stared at the ground. "We need to lock that thing up so Skye and Lincoln and the rest of their team never have to go near it. I can't even think about what would happen to them if…" she trailed off.
Fitz furrowed his brow. "Right after the rock took you, Skye went right up to it to try to sense you inside it. She didn't touch it or anything, but she was closer to it than you ever were. I wonder why it didn't take her then."
"Maybe if can only handle one person at a time," Jemma suggested, deep in thought, but then she looked up suddenly as though just realizing what Fitz had said. "Wait, Skye went right up to it? Why would she do something so dangerous?"
Fitz stared at her as though she were crazy. "Because she wanted to get you back, Jemma. We would have done anything to bring you home."
Jemma turned to him, a question on her lips, but her words were hesitant. "Did you, while I was gone, did you see-"
"You mean did I talk to you through my subconscious again?" Fitz asked, amused by how uncomfortable Jemma was with the question.
She smiled sheepishly. "Yes, that's what I meant."
Fitz shook his head. "No, Coulson wouldn't let me by myself for at least a month, and even then he made sure Mack or Skye or someone dropped by fairly regularly to make sure I was okay."
Jemma sat back on the bench, clearly relieved. "Good. Skye said it wasn't like last time, and I'm glad she was right."
Fitz half smiled at her. "You know I stopped seeing you even before you came back that first time, once I got closer with Mack and Hunter. And it's not like I ever really thought it was you, I knew it was my subconscious, but it was nice to pretend sometimes. It was much easier to talk to that version of you than to anyone else."
Jemma's eyes were sad. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, Fitz."
Fitz took her free hand in his. "It's okay. You were trying to help, and maybe you did. We'll never really know. But we're here now, aren't we?" he said echoing his words from earlier.
Jemma nodded. "We're here now."
They stared at each other for a few moments before Jemma dropped his gaze, clearly not quite finished with the topic. "So Coulson looked out for you."
Fitz nodded. "I think it was easier for everyone to deal with me this time because they at least understood what I was going through. When the problem's all in your head, it's hard for people to relate, but this was physical; we all lost you, so they knew how I felt. Well not exactly how I felt," he amended his statement, "but they understood." He frowned slightly. "They all handled it better than I did though. These first few weeks were the worst for everyone, but the past few weeks have been really hard too. After a week or two of unsuccessful missions, everything was looking kind of hopeless, but Coulson let us keep going, I think mostly because he didn't know how to tell me it was over." Fitz shook his head, tears in his eyes. "But I…"
Jemma squeezed his hand, trying to comfort him.
Fitz took a deep breath and then let everything go. "Everyone else was close to giving up because they knew they could get through it. They were all so upset at the beginning, but they had survived and they knew that they would continue to survive even if you weren't there. Skye was broken for those first few weeks. She was trying to hide it from me, but she wasn't the only one looking for hidden spaces to cry at the base. And I haven't seen Coulson really smile since that day. And then May tried to stay tough and unemotional, like she always is, but every so often I'd see her go hug Andrew, and she'd rest her head on his shoulders like she was holding up the world. But they kept going. Skye worked with the Inhumans. Coulson ran the base. May led missions and surveyed things from her position on the board. They were surviving, not exactly moving on, but something close to that."
"But I couldn't do it." Fitz choked back a sob. "It wasn't as bad as when you left before; I still talked to everyone and, like I said, no almost-hallucinations, but I didn't do anything for S.H.I.E.L.D.; all I did was look for you. That's all I could do. Everyone else would have been able to keep going if you had been gone forever, they wouldn't have been happy about it, but they could have done it if absolutely necessary. But I couldn't, Jemma. I can't. You're all I have. I just… I didn't know what to do without you. I told you earlier that sometimes I felt like I had to give up because it was so hopeless, but then I'd think about what my life would be like if you weren't in it, and I couldn't even picture it; it didn't exist. So I knew I could never stop looking. After every mission, I could see Coulson trying to figure out how many more he was going to let me run before he shut everything down. I know he didn't want to, but it's what made sense. I'd try to figure out what I was going to do if Coulson wouldn't let me work through S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore, and my only conclusion was that I would have to leave, find you myself because there's no point in me working here if you aren't by my side. There's no point in anything without you. This is it for me, Jemma," Fitz said, pouring out months worth of revelations to the most important person in his entire world. "You're it. I love you. I love you so much it hurts, and I just need you with me. Nothing makes sense otherwise."
Jemma was silent for a moment. "So does that mean you'll officially come back and work with me in the lab?" she asked.
Fitz stared at her, his mouth falling open. "That's what you took from my big speech?" he almost yelled at the amazing, but infuriating, woman next to him. "I go through all that, and you ask me about the bloody lab?"
Jemma nodded at him patiently. "I'll address the rest of it in a moment, I just wanted to be sure."
Fitz sighed exasperatedly, sitting back on the bench. "Yes, I'll come back to work with you. I pretty much had already before, you know."
Simmons smiled at him widely. "I know, but it wasn't official. I just needed to be sure."
She took a breath and then, without warning, her mouth crashed into his, her arms pressing him to her before Fitz could even respond. After a second, Fitz was able to move, his arms snaking around Jemma's back and his lips moving against hers. Jemma moved her head and her mouth found the base of his neck, Fitz trying and failing to resist letting out a soft moan. "God, Jemma."
She moved her mouth back up to meet his. "I love you so much, Leopold Fitz," she said softly, her breath dusting across his lips.
Fitz opened his eyes to see meet Jemma's. "I love you too, Jemma. So much."
Jemma smiled at him, pressing one last kiss to his lips before leaning her forehead against his.
Fitz couldn't help the grin that spread across his face, but then he realized something. He pulled back slightly. "I've done all this complaining about how awful things were for me, but at least I knew where I was and I had Coulson and Mack and Skye and May. I can't even imagine how weird and confusing this must have been for you."
Jemma shrugged. "Something about the whole floating through space thing makes you kind of forget about how weird and confusing it is. It hurt to think about you, but besides that, it was pretty fascinating. I don't think any other human being has seen what I saw there. Scientifically, it was a one in a lifetime opportunity."
Fitz had to laugh out loud at that.
"What?" Jemma asked, slightly affronted.
Fitz shook his head. "Only you would call getting sucked inside an alien rock and trapped in a stasis chamber in a cave a 'one in a lifetime opportunity.'" He grinned at her.
She rolled her eyes. "Don't make fun of me, Leo."
Fitz's smile fell from his face immediately. "What did I say about calling me Leo?"
Jemma smiled at him innocently.
Fitz moved to kiss her again, but he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.
He sighed exasperatedly as he pulled back to check it, Jemma laughing next to him.
Op WH is in place. Return to base at your leisure. –C
Fitz checked the time. 8:30. He sighed again and looked up at Jemma. "That's Coulson. We should probably head back to base."
Jemma looked at her own watch and nodded, standing up and looking around. "I hadn't even noticed how dark it is. I can barely see you."
"We have been here a while haven't we?" He turned to start walking back to where they had parked, Jemma's hand still in his. "Moon's beautiful tonight though."
Jemma nodded her agreement, her head resting his arm as they walked. "This was lovely, Fitz. Thank you. Definitely worth the wait."
Fitz pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "There's still time for me to mess it up, don't worry."
How had it taken him so many years to notice that Simmons had the most beautiful laugh in the entire world? And how had he spent so long not being this perfectly happy?
