CHAPTER FOUR

Derek stood at the top of the O.R. gallery, his arms crossed over his chest. He watched in amazement as Meredith proceeded to complete an craniotomy all by herself. No one watching her every move, no one walking her through it, and no one to tell her what she was doing wrong. She did not need the assistance. She was brilliant all on her own.

"Clamps."

She was confident. The way she stood in front of the human brain said it all. When she asked the surgical nurse for the clamps, he could hear it in her voice. Meredith was not unconfident in her abilites anymore and truly believed she was extraordinary.

And she did that all on her own.

Derek discovered standing there, that Meredith had grown up. She did not need him like he so desperately tried to make her think. He spent years trying to make her understand that their relationship was a main priority, and he had hoped that making himself available during their time apart would make her realize that. It only made her stronger in the end. It started to make Derek think that maybe it was not Meredith that needed Derek, but Derek that needed Meredith.

Meredith was getting close to closing up the patient, and Derek had hoped to catch her downstairs in the scrub room. Just as he was about to make his way down there, his pager began to go off. He had recieved a 911 page to O.R. one, and changed his route to scrub in once again.

"Great job, everyone." Meredith spoke to the O.R. "Let's get this little girl closed up and back down to Post-OP."

Meredith had left the O.R. and walked into the scrub room located just outside. It had been a fairly easy operation, with no complications. She was relieved to know that in a few weeks, the little girl would be well on her way to recovery. She began to take her surgical mask and gloves off, throwing them in the waste basket. Walking towards the sinks, an hyperventilating resident had turned the corner and was scrambling to come up with words.

"You're Dr. Grey right?" The resident said, panicing.

"Yes." Meredith responded, nodding her head.

"Dr. Webber and Dr. Bailey need you in O.R. two. We tried paging Dr. Shepherd, but he had already been paged to O.R. one with Dr. Yang."

Meredith turned to quickly scrub back in before following the resident into the O.R. "What do we have?"

Richard turned toward Meredith while Dr. Bailey continued to work on the patients insides. "She's got a brain bleed. We've been trying to get the internal bleeding under control, but just when we think we have a hold of it there's another bleeder."

The woman's vitals increased rapidly. Meredith went to stand behind the woman's head as the nurses helped prepare her for an emergency brain surgery.

"Damn it!" Dr. Bailey exclaimed, rushing to place pads inside the woman's stomach area. "I can't get this bleeding under control."

"Opening up her head could cause her to bleed out." Meredith warned them. "I need to wait tell you get more of the bleeding controlled."

"My side looks good." Richard told her. "Bailey what about yours? Is it good enough that Dr. Grey here can correct the brain bleed?"

Dr. Bailey checked her side. "I just about got this bleeder. There, you can open her up."

Meredith nodded her head and opened up the patient's skull. She began to work quickly to find the source of the bleed. Richard and Dr. Bailey worked together to try and fix the woman's internal organs.

"She's becoming bradycardic." A nurse said outloud, watching the woman's heartbeat.

"I've almost found the source." Meredith told them. "I've almost got it."

Just then, Derek walked in the O.R. door. A nurse began to place gloves on his hands. "I had to help Yang in O.R. one. What do we have?"

"We've got it, Derek." Richard said, looking up from the patient. "There's already enough hands in here as it is. Dr. Grey is taking care of the bleeder."

Meredith continued work, not letting the outside forces distract her from taking care of business. Derek stood dumbfounded, and could not help but feel like he had been shown up. Richard had went back to help Dr. Bailey, and Meredith worked on the woman's brain. Everyone ignored his presence and finally he turned on his heel and walked out in the same direction he had walked in.

Hours later, Meredith was exhausted. It was times like these she was greatful her intern and resident days were over. Laying on the couch in the attendings lounge, her feet resting infront of her, she checked her phone for any missed calls.

Luke Delacroix - 3:26 P.M.

Meredith sighed, going to her voicemail inbox on her phone.

"Hey Mer, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to call you this morning and talk to you before you began your big first day. I won't be able to call you again tell later tonight. I have meetings from four o'clock on. I love you and can't wait to be with you in a few days. Stay safe."

A smile rested upon her face as she brought the phone back down from her ear. She missed Luke more than she thought she would have, although the space was probably good for their relationship.

"I could use a shot of José right about now." Cristina moaned, walking in the lounge and taking a seat next to Meredith.

"Oh, me too." Meredith agreed. "Two surgeries and paperwork out my ass."

Cristina laughed. "Least my patient has a healthy heart, brain, and baby."

"Turns out the Jane Doe I was operating on was the daughter of the mother I also had to operate on. Poor family."

"Yeah, Derek had to rush the husband in for emergency surgery as well." Cristina sighed, turning to look at Meredith. She watched as she bit her lip in attempt to cover up what she was thinking. "How is that going by the way?"

"The husband? I don't know he wasn't my patient."

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Not the husband Meredith, Derek. How is the Derek situation."

Meredith sat there for a minute. The couple encounters she had stumbled upon with Derek had been brief. Once that morning in the elevator, and second that afternoon in the O.R. room. She was not able to speak to him nor was she able to get in a good look.

"I haven't really spoke to him." Meredith shrugged.

Cristina nodded her head. "How are you going to react when Luke gets here?"

Meredith looked at Cristina. "What do you mean? Luke is my fiancé."

"Yeah, and the sky is blue." Cristina said sarcastically, rolling her eyes once again. "You knew that coming here would spark a fire between you and Derek. Something is bound to give and it normally ends with you two heated in an on-call room."

"I world never do anything to hurt Luke," Meredith said, defending herself. "but I won't sit here and lie about not feeling some kind of way towards Derek. I'm still trying to decide if I want to let that go or not."

"Meredith," Cristina spoke. "you're lying right now. You're engaged. You might not realize it, but you're already hurting Luke with these untouched feelings for Derek. Honestly, do you think seeing if you and Derek even have a chance is worth losing Luke?"

Paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork. Derek sighed as he looked at the cluttered desk that was once clear and organized. He was almost done for the day, wanting nothing more than to go to bed. He had not gotten a lot of sleep the night before, surprisingly, seeing as he did not stay at Emily's.

"Home." Derek laughed. What was a home to him anymore? It was not Emily's, it was not the trailer, and it was not New York. Hell, even the dream house plans were not a home anymore. His home was somewhere in this hospital though.

Preparing to leave for the day, he heard a knock at his office door. Praying for a miracle, he told whomever it was to come in.

"Now I don't know about you, but I need a beer." Mark grinned. He noticed Derek's face fall into a frown and he put two and two together. "Oh I get it. I'm not a average height, green eyed, dirty blonde. Really, there's no need to apologize for such the long face."

Derek rolled his eyes. "You know too?"

"That Big Grey is back with the best of us? Saving lives and putting us all to shame? Dragging the infamous Dr. Derek Shepherd around on a leash without even knowing it?" Mark chuckled, putting a hand on Derek's shoulder. "Yeah man, we all know it."

"I'm not on a leash." Derek defended himself.

"Right." Mark spoke, not buying what he was selling. "So, what's your game plan? "

"Game plan?" Derek had a confused look on his face.

"Yeah!" Mark exclaimed, bringing up a fist to emphasize. "You know, your plan to get her back and all."

Derek looked at him. "I don't have a plan."

"Useless." Mark said with slight disgust and shaking his head. "So, how about that beer?"

It had been a long, tiring first day. After Meredith and Cristina's conversation, they had both parted ways to check up on their patients. Both mother and daughter were doing well and were expecting a full recovery. The on-call resident was left to do an hourly post-op check on the mother, considering her surgery was more extentsive.

Retreating back to the lounge, Meredith had found Izzie and Cristina. Izzie was changing back into her street clothes, while Cristina laid down on the couch.

"Are you not going home?" Meredith asked Cristina, changing as well.

"Nope. I need to finish up a few things, plus I've been working on some research." Cristina yawned, placing her hands behind her head. "I'd rather be here anyway."

"The robot strikes again." Izzie joked, sitting down in one of the chairs to put her boots on. "Where are you staying Meredith?"

"Via Six Lofts, downtown."

"Oh fancy." Izzie said with excitement, her eyes lighting up. "I'll have to come bake in the new kitchen."

Meredith laughed. "Oh, you can be the first to even walk in the kitchen. You all know I don't know how to cook, and Luke's not exactly a five-star chef either."

The three women continued to talk casually and catch up. Izzie complained about how Alex was growing more and more absent towards her each day, and how she feared of the unknown. Cristina shared about how she had secretly been with Dr. Owen Hunt, and did not want it to turn out like it did with Burke.

"I can't go through something like that again. I became someone's right hand, literally." Cristina spoke, sitting up from her laying form. "I want to be the best, and I won't let my feelings for someone get in the way of that."

"Thanks." Meredith giggled, giving Cristina a look.

"Thanks for what?" Lexie said, walking in and placing a her hand on her hip. "How about thanks for letting your little sister know you were back in town."

"Hey, no residents allowed." Cristina griped, waving a hand in the air.

"Lexie." Meredith smiled, giving her sister a hug. She pulled back to look at her. "You know, I could have told you myself but you were too busy assisting Dr. Sloan."

"He needed my assistance, what could I say." Lexie smirked. "He asked me to move in with him a few days ago, so I looked at it as a favor."

"Leaving the frat house I see." Cristina nodded in understanding.

"Is the attic not good enough for Mark?" Izzie laughed.

"Hey, even I would have taken the chance to get out that attic." Meredith spoke in Lexie's defense. "It's not the ideal place."

"Tensions are high enough there as it is." Lexie said, giving an unstable expression.

"Yeah, I don't blame you there. I'd pack my things up and walk out with McSteamy too if I could." Izzie sighed, bringing a hand up to her forhead. She got up from the chair and grabbed her bag. "I should probably start making my way towards the house. I have a few things to take care of there. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Cristina's pager went off. She picked it up off the coffee table to check to see what it said. "911 incoming trauma. My night just got a little more interesting."

"Enjoy!" Meredith yelled as Cristina walked out the door trying to put her shoes back on as she hurried.

"Drinks at Joes?" Lexie asked Meredith.

"Yeah, a beer sounds good." Meredith nodded, picking up her bag. "I'll met you over there."

Derek walked toward the elevator, pressing the bottom arrow. His briefcase was in one hand and his coat was resting over his other arm. Waiting for the elevator to arrive, he closed his eyes. He was physically, mentally, and emotionally tired.

He had declined his invite to have a beer with Mark. Partially because he was exhausted, and also because he was not in the mood. Emily was probably waiting up for him, and he owed it to her to be there.

Meredith's arrival was really kicking in. The aftershock was still apparent, and he wondered if it would ever leave. Derek did not expect to ever see Meredith again. The thought of that made him physically sick, but he had slowly lost faith over time. He was not the optimist he use to be. That was for sure. He still had not had the chance to speak with her, and did not even know what he would say when the time came.

His thoughts were interrupted when the elevator doors opened, and he was relieved to find it vacant. Stepping on, he hit the button for the lobby and retreated to the back of the elevator. He rested his empty hand on the railing behind him, leaning against the back and finding support. He crossed his legs and looked down at the ground, closing his eyes once more. In a matter of moments, he felt the elevator slow down and come to a complete stop. He knew it was too soon to be his stop, but he looked up as he heard the 'ding' and the doors drift apart. Starring back at him was a pair of green eyes. The same pair of green eyes he had hopelessly fallen in love with.

It was Meredith.

He watched as she stepped on effortlessly, looking to see if she needed to push the button for her floor. Realizing Derek had already pushed it, she moved to stand towards the right of the elevator.

"Hello." Meredith smiled, looking down and fidgiting with her watch on her wrist. Derek could tell she was nervous by her mannerisms.

"Hello to you too." Derek grinned, moving to stand to the left of her. "I didn't think I would see you around here again."

"It was time to come home." She nodded. "How are you?"

"I'm doing okay." He told her. "How are you? Are you doing okay?"

Meredith giggled, a light blush approaching her cheeks. "I'm doing great, Derek."

There it was, Derek thought. The infamous giggle. Except this time, it was real. It was not beaten down from her past life or faking it just to get by. It had its own personal shine.

"That's wonderful." He said. "I'm glad to see you back and doing great."

"I'm glad to be back." She assured him. "A lot has changed, but I think for the better."

Was she talking about the hospital, herself, or just life in general? Derek wanted to know more, but cursed silently when he found himself on the first floor.

"We should get drinks sometime." Derek offered, stepping off the elevator behind Meredith. "You know, catch up and see where our lives have taken us."

Meredith smiled, nodding her head in acceptance. "That would be great, Derek. I would enjoy that a lot."

They continued to walk side by side until reaching the hospital entrance. Derek looked to his right, getting one last glimpse of her before the day was over. "Goodbye, Meredith."

Meredith looked back at Derek, her heart clenching together by sadness. "Goodbye, Derek."

A lot has taken place in this chapter, but I hope you all adored it. I'm glad you all have enjoyed reading the chapters. The reviews are excellent, and please keep telling me what you guys think. I should be able to update again tomorrow. Take care everyone!