She wakes up feeling Quinn's warm body against hers. It's funny how it feels so good, like something she's been missing without knowing. The brunette holds Quinn's hand that is resting on her waist and takes it to her mouth, kissing it sweetly.

She starts thinking about the previous night. She honestly doesn't remember the last time she got so… excited? Turned on? Aroused? She should've won an award because pretending to be asleep when all she wanted was just… well, Quinn… she wanted, actually, she still wants, she wants Quinn.

Shower… now…

She gets out of bed carefully and goes to the bathroom. She strips very fast, gets inside the stall and starts showering.

She and Finn haven't had sex in two months (make it three because the time she is counting, she technically didn't get there…) and they were sleeping in separated beds for weeks. They never really had trouble with their sexual life, not in the first years.

It wasn't just about the sex though, the whole marriage wasn't working anymore. She is not an enthusiastic when it comes to masturbation, it is not that she doesn't like it, she used to do it once and while before her first time, she just never felt the need or the urge that she is certainly feeling now.

Technically, she knows that her abstinence was happening in the other life. In this life, she could've had sex with Quinn the day before she got here. Maybe is the lack of sex and the fact that, yes, Quinn makes her hot, thus making her sexually frustrated, but right now all she knows is that she needs some relief.

Putting one hand on the wall, the water running down on her body, she starts thinking about a certain blonde and how it would be like to touch her skin, to make her moan. Unconsciously her hand starts going down on her wet body and toward her throbbing center. When her fingers reach its destination she releases a moan. She knows that she needs to be quiet, so she nibbles her lip.

Completely focused on her pleasure, she doesn't notice the door opening.

"I need to pee."

Fuck… the door…

She forgot to lock the door.

"Are you masturbating?" Quinn gets close and opens the glass door.

"No! I'm not!" Rachel tries to cover herself.

"I'm just kidding."

Quinn looks at Rachel's chest and notices that the brunette is trying to hide her prizewinners.

"Could you give me the towel?"

"Sure." Quinn says, furrowed eyebrows.

"The bathroom is all yours." Rachel walks toward the bedroom and when the blonde exits the bathroom, she is already dressed.

"Is something wrong?" Quinn tries out.

"What you mean?"

Quinn sighs heavily. "Never mind." She waves Rachel off and she leaves the bedroom.

After that, Rachel starts searching for a cell phone. She needs her best friend. After a long search she gives up and goes downstairs.

"Quinn, do you know where my phone is?"

She probably has one right? And Kurt's number is probably in it.

"You mean the one you lost?"

"Yeah? Can I use your phone then? I need to call Kurt, he is here in Lima and I want to see him."

"Today?"

"Well… yeah…"

"Rach, you promised Beth you'd go shopping with her, we're going to the mall this afternoon."

"Can't we go another day?"

"No, San and B are going to meet us there, you can see him tomorrow."

"But he'll return to New York tomorrow." Rachel whines.

"What?" Quinn is confused. "He is not, he will stay."

She forgot that everything is different here.

How is he? She knows he got into Broadway too because of the pictures. What Kurt thinks about her marriage?

"Well, I think, shopping then?"


At afternoon, as previously planned, they go to the mall to shopping. Beth wants to buy new clothes and shoes to New Year's Eve.

Santana and Brittany meet them there.

Rachel is enjoying being anonymous again, although she is recognized by a couple of Broadway enthusiastic.

"It seems Lima has its fanatics Broadway weirdos too." Santana teases after Rachel signs some autographs.

"Well, I'm born here after all."

They walk in the store that Beth told them to.

"You're weirdo, so…"

"Yeah." She giggles. "Why did you let me give up of my dreams?" She asks Quinn nonchalantly.

"What?"

"I mean, you broke my heart that day in the auditorium because, using your words: I don't belong here and now I'm here? At that time I got heartbroken because, yeah I was obsessed with Finn, but I've matured and of course you saying that you loved me helped a lot but I… I realized that you wanted me to focus on my dream… "

She gets thoughtful and Quinn stares at her with a mix of curiosity and perplexity.

"Please don't get me wrong. I'm trying to figure things out here Quinn. I'm trying to understand why I, Rachel Berry, am living here in Lima? Miles away from Broadway. Broadway, my biggest dream since I was a little girl."

The blonde's opens her mouth incredulous.

"Are you saying… are you saying that you regret? Are you blaming me?"

"It's not that, I just want to understand."

"I don't regret. I'd do it all over again. You weren't living anymore, yes, I brought us here and I'm so happy for this!"

"I could be a Tony winner by now. I could be so much more Quinn, I'm trying to understand why you'd let me give up on this. Why would you let me live here when my destiny is to shine on Broadway?"

"I can't believe it." Quinn shakes her head sadly. "It makes me sad to hear your life is such a disappointment to you."

"I can't believe it's not a disappointment to you! I could've been a star, how could've you let me give up on my dreams like this?!"

"What? Who are you?"

For the first time Quinn looks at her wife as she is a complete stranger and Rachel remembers the day that Finn and her had their final fight:

"Who are you?"

"What? Well I am me…"

"No, you're not, you're different. You're arrogant, vain, smug and selfish."

"Oh wow, listen up everyone, news flash! Finn Hudson just called Rachel Berry selfish!"

"Do you want to know what's different? I was a stupid boy who couldn't see the amazing girl you were. Rach, you loved each one of us, even when you were focusing on your dreams and getting lost in your ambition you've always put your friends first, I was wrong, you weren't selfish, you were the opposite of this, you were the best of us all, but now? I don't recognize you anymore."

"Why? Just because I don't want to go to a stupid meeting?!" She shouts irritated. "I'm already going to visit my dads on Christmas. I can't leave New York now. You know I have an agenda!"

"This isn't working anymore, I'm done."

"Are you breaking up with me? Again?" She says sarcastically. "Fine, whatever, you're right this marriage isn't working anymore."

"I was talking about this conversation." He gets shocked.

"Do you want to get divorced?"

"I…"

"Since when?"

"We aren't happy Finn."

"Oh my God! There's someone else?"

"No! Of course not. I would never…"

Technically, she was being honest with him back then. There was no one else, because Quinn had moved on with her life, they were barely acquaintances.

"I'm not the Rachel you think I am."

"Please tell me what's going on? Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?"

"Yes, you fell in love with me." Rachel says in a low voice.

She thinks she will never deserve Quinn's love, but to the blonde Rachel's statement sounded as a rejection.

"What do you mean?" She says hurtful and insecure.

"Guys, you don't want to do this here, right?" Santana steps in.

"Yeah, let's just help Beth." Brittany adds, holding her daughter in her arms.

"You guys do that. I'm going to buy my phone." She turns to Quinn "Can you tell me what my credit card's password is? I don't… I don't know what it is."

"You mean you forgot?" Quinn opens her mouth in disbelief.

"Yeah, something like that." Rachel nods impatiently.

"You mean you forgot my birthday."

"Oh…" She sighs.

How corny…

"Quinn Fabray's birthday. February 1st." She smiles and drops her eyes to the floor. "I didn't forget. I always send you messages, but you just ignore them." She says it more to herself and then she looks at Quinn again. "Like you used to do in high school."

"What you're talking about?"

"Nothing, I'll see you guys later."

She turns around to leave the store when again, she bumps into Kate.

"We do that a lot Mm?" Kate takes advantage of her position to stroke Rachel's arm and glare at Quinn at the same time.

"Apparently, uh… Kate, right?"

The young woman giggles.

"Yeah… Hi Quinn, hi Toni, hi Beth, how are you?"

"Don't talk to my daughters." Quinn warns unfriendly.

"Did I do something wrong?" Kate asks cynically.

"Besides being born?" Santana replies annoyed.

Amused, Kate looks at the three women in front of her.

"Well, enjoy your shopping little monster." She kisses her younger sister and turns to Rachel.

"Bye Rach."

"Bitch." Santana says as soon as the young woman walks away.

"She has the nerve to talk to my daughters."

"Mom, can we look around?" Beth asks.

"Sure honey."

Beth and Mary walk away to look for clothes.

"I thought she was a friend, wasn't she at your mother's party?" Rachel inquires innocently.

"Are you this naïve or you're just being stupid?"

"Santana." Quinn complains.

"What? I have to say it. Since you got soft, 'cause the Quinn Fabray I used to know, the Quinn Fabray you used to be, she would've put that bitch in her place without moving a finger." She snaps at Quinn. "And then she would've fucked her hobbit in the nearest bathroom." She adds teasingly.

"Totally." Brittany nods playfully as Quinn rolls her eyes and Rachel blushes.

"I have to go." Rachel announces.

She starts walking, but her daughter follows her.

"Mommy!"

She turns around and smiles, she then stretches out her hand to the little girl.

"Come on."


Her purchase is pretty fast, when she gets back to the store however, they aren't there anymore.

Then she remembers she doesn't have Quinn's number.

"Hi daddy."

Thank God her daddy's number is still the same.

"I'm fine… look, can you give me Quinn's cell phone number? I need to call her… well, I just forgot and I'm with a new phone… can you just give to me? Wait… okay, thanks daddy…" She calls Quinn.

She calls Quinn and the blonde informs her where they are

"Come on little thing, let's see mom."

Moments later she finds the group in the food court.

When they get close to the others, Toni runs to her blonde mother.

"Hi sunshine." Quinn holds her and Rachel smiles at them.

"Brittany? Can I talk to you?"

"Sure."

"Just, come on." She holds the tall blonde's arm and drags her away from the others. "I need you to promise me that everything I'll say to you will stay just between us, okay?"

"Okay… I guess."

"I need your help," She nibbles down on her bottom lip "Say I am a little off my track."

"What you mean?"

"My memory…" She trails off."That's it! My memory, it can happen, I read about it. I'm temporally memoryless."

"Was it the aliens? Are you a clone?"

"No," Rachel frowns a little. "I'm not…so, can you help? But you can't tell anyone."

"Okay, as long as the aliens doesn't hurt my family."

"Brittany I'm not an alien." She sighs in frustration. "Just don't tell anyone."

"How can I help?"

"You'll know." She informs and walks toward her family.

She sits on Beth's side, across from Quinn. They look at each other, eyes locked onto one another, but Rachel averts her eyes. She then takes her phone and automatically she has an idea.

Rachel Berry.

She types her name on the search.

Rachel Barbra Berry (born December 18, 1994), known professionally as Rachel Berry, is a Broadway star.

Rachel Berry at the 2018 Tony's.

Rachel Berry celebrated with friend Kurt Hummel his birthday: this is the first time that the Broadway star came to New York after the tragedy involving herself and her mother.

"What tragedy?" She says shocked.

The others stare at her.

"It's just… never mind." She waves them off and gets back to her search. She clicks on the link.

To the Broadway fans that have missed this two together. Aren't they cute?

But it was just one of that superficial news.

She decides to go back to the link with her web biography. She skips the initial description.

After the tragic death of her mother, she retired from the stage and moved to Lima, Ohio, her hometown. She was in the middle of a musical and in the prime of her career.

Rachel is getting sick.

More research.

Rachel was in her dressing room when a drunken Jason broke into the room and threatened her with a gun. Shelby appeared right after and unfortunately was hit by an accidental shot. Apparently Rachel and Jason were fighting when Shelby stepped in to protect her daughter. Jason said he had no intention of shooting…

Shocked and disturbed, Rachel stands up abruptly, knocking down her chair. She runs toward the restrooms.

Jason… Jason… Jason! Bastard!

She storms in the nearest stall and immediately, she throws up.

Getting inside the restroom, Quinn finds the brunette, crying and sobbing in the stall as she throws up.

"Rach? Are you okay?" Quinn asks worriedly. "You need something?" She adds as Rachel goes toward the sinks.

She washes her face and mouth then she takes a paper towel to dry her face and hands. Rachel looks at Quinn with red eyes. She gets close and hugs the blonde. She hugs Quinn as if she wouldn't get another chance to do it.

"I just need you."

"I'm here, babe I'm here. Please tell me what's going on?"

"I'm sorry. You just did what you had to do. I'm so stupid Quinn."

"You're not. Let's go home so I can take care of you, okay?" Quinn kisses her wife's temples.

"I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that, look at me." Quinn cups Rachel's face, forcing the brunette to look up. "I love you. I'll always love you, no matter what." She says passionately, her eyes full of emotion.

Overwhelmed, Rachel just nods.

As Quinn leads them out of the bathroom, she can't help noticing that once again Rachel didn't say I love you too.


"I'm sorry Quinn, you know, in that store I was…" She sighs. "I don't want to fight with you. Not anymore."

Quinn keeps her eyes on the road, she is driving them home.

"I didn't mean to throw everything on you… I…"

"Somehow I understand you. It was your dream." She says sweetly.

"No, I was being an idiot. I should've known." Rachel says melancholic as she keeps looking out the window. "You would've never kept me away from my dreams." she whispers.

"Do you want to know why was easy for me to let everything behind?" Quinn asks serenely and Rachel looks at her. "Because you're my biggest dream Rachel, so no matter where we are, every single day that I wake up by your side it's a dream coming true to me."

Holding back her tears, Rachel smiles at Quinn.

"I thought you were more ambitious. I mean, you used to be very ambitious Quinn Fabray. How could you have settled with me?" She teases.

"I don't know." Quinn looks behind at her sleepy daughters. "I'm crazy about your legs."

"Really?"

"Don't play dumb, you know I'm crazy about them." She smirks. "And Berry-Fabray." She adds happily.

Rachel laughs.

Berry first of course…

"But seriously, I'm sorry you had to give up on your career because of me."

"First of all, it wasn't your fault and as I said I don't regret. Yes, I love acting, but I'm fine with just writing the plays."

"You write plays!" Rachel shouts out of the blue.

"Stop joking, I'm serious." Quinn giggles.

"You're awesome, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"So, you pay the bills? I mean, I hope you do because I am a poor housewife."

Quinn bursts out into laughs.

"You, a housewife? And yeah, right, poor."

They laugh all the way home.

Clearly, she wasn't as richer as she was in the other life, but Quinn managed to put them in good terms, financially speaking.

When they get home the first thing Quinn does is to send her wife to bed.

"Just rest, I'm going to prepare your favorite tea."

"Okay, thank you."

Rachel says sweetly as the blonde kisses her cheek and covers her up.

"I'll be right back."

The good news is that she won't have to worry about the blonde's affections tonight.


"Rachel!"

"Kurt!"

Still in the doorway, they hug each other lively.

"Come in!"

"Where is Blaine?"

"He is coming, take a seat. I'm sorry we didn't see each other on Christmas, how is Judy by the way?"

Rachel giggles and sits.

"What?"

"Nothing, I mean, you're asking about Judy. Quinn's mother," She waves her hands. "My mother in law…"

"Yeess… why?"

"She is fine, really fine." She shakes her head still smiling.

"Good,"

"How is Broadway?" She asks matter-of-factly.

Pondering his answer, he nibbles down on his bottom lip. "Great, huh… did you think about what I said?" He tries out.

"About what?"

"Your return… you know, to Broadway?"

"You want me to return?"

"It's where you belong Rach, I know it will be difficult but…"

"Somehow." She nods.

"What do you mean?"

"Rach!" Blaine shouts animatedly as he gets in the living room.

"Blaine!" She stands up and hugs her friend.

"Sorry about Christmas."

"It's okay." She waves him off.

"How is Judy?"

She giggles and confused, Blaine looks at Kurt.

"She is fine."

"Our starlight is weird." Kurt points out playfully.

"More than you can imagine." She states meaningfully.

After the greeting, they talked and talked through the afternoon.

"I have to go boys."

Hours later, she announces.

"Already?" Kurt pouts and Rachel giggles."But hey, promise that you'll think about that thing, okay?"

"Okay."


After the goodbye Rachel drives to Judy as Quinn had asked her.

"Hi Rachel come in." Judy welcomes her.

"Hi Judy." Rachel hugs her mother in law.

"Beth is still at Susan's." Judy informs.

"Oh, should I call her?"

The older woman giggles.

"I'm afraid that won't work, unless your name is Quinn."

Rachel is starting to understand why she is the favorite mother.

"I'm going to get her. I'm still her mother." Rachel tries to be firm.

"Sure." Judy teases.

Susan's house is not far, after all she is their neighbor, so she walks toward the doorway and then she rings the bell.

"Hi." Rachel greets out of politeness before she even had seen who was at the door..

"Hi."

The young woman welcomes Rachel with an alluring smile.

"I-I… I came to pick Beth up." She curses under her breath.

"I know." Kate informs amused. "Rumor has it that you weren't feeling good yesterday. What do you have the flu or something?"

"Something like that."

"Need a nurse?" She winks seductively.

"You're a nurse?"

"If that's what you want me to be." She arches an eyebrow. "I'll go get Beth for you." Kate turns around to leave.

Rachel follows her with her eyes as she is finally getting what this whole Kate thing is about.

"Wait a second." She looks around and lowers her voice. "Are we…?" She inquires suggestively.

"Are we what, Rach?"

"Is there something going on between us?"

Kate is surprised, but she gets closer.

"Are we finally being honest?"

"It would help me… I need to figure out a lot of things apparently."

"Okay." She nods, a big smile plastered on her lips. "I have a crush on you since I first saw you." She pauses seductively. "I was sixteen and you were so sexy, yes, I think you're hot and I think about you almost all the time. You know, they are very naughty thoughts. So, if you're asking me whether I'd like it to be more, the answer is yes."

Rachel gets shocked.

"And Quinn would never have to know." Kate adds into Rachel's ear.

"Mommy?" Beth and Mary appear behind them.

"Beth." Rachel cleans her throat. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, goodbye Mary."

"Bye Beth."

"Bye." Rachel says awkwardly.

"Bye Rach." Kate says seductively. "I'll wait for your answer."

They are walking outside when Beth finally says.

"She is a slut."

"What? Who?"

"Kate…She doesn't love you the way mom does."

"Why are you saying this?"

"She wants to seduce you, Mary told me."

Rachel stops walking.

"Beth, do I look like someone easy to seduce?"

"Mary said her sister can have everyone she wants." Beth frowns angrily.

Rachel laughs in amusement.

"Don't worry about that, let's see your grandma and then let's go home, okay?"

The blonde girl nods.


"Mom! We're home!" Beth shouts as soon as they cross the front door.

"I'm in the kitchen!" Quinn shouts back.

The blonde girl goes to her mother happily. When Rachel gets in the kitchen Beth is leaving already.

"I'll go to my bedroom." Beth informs as she kisses Rachel's cheek.

"Okay."

"How is Kurt?" Quinn asks.

"He is fine." She walks absently toward the fridge. "He sent you kisses and hugs, hey, where's that chocolate cake?" She asks inside the fridge.

"You mean this chocolate cake?" Quinn points to the piece of cake she is eating.

Rachel closes the fridges door and looks at Quinn for the first time. The blonde smiles and takes another bite.

"That's my piece. I was saving it because I got nauseated, you know it."

"Mm. It's good."

Rachel approaches the counter.

"Gimme that cake."

Quinn takes another bite.

"No way. If it wasn't for me, you'd be still eating that vegan crap."

"Hey! I've become a vegetarian for option, because I wanted. Now gimme that cake." She tries to grab the plate, but Quinn puts it out of her reach. "Quinn!"

"You know how I love chocolate."

They look at each other for a moment. Rachel bites her nails impatient then she attacks the blonde again, but Quinn jumps out of her chair and laughing, runs out of the kitchen with the cake.

"I want that cake!" Rachel shouts chasing the blonde through the house.

Quinn runs toward the stair. She runs up, still laughing as Rachel follows her.

"Quinn! I want that cake!" Rachel grabs Quinn's shirt and pulls her down playfully on top of her.

"You want the cake?"

"I want it." She says out of breath. The blonde takes the whole piece in her hand and puts it right in Rachel's mouth as the brunette starts laughing.

"Good, right?" Quinn asks playfully.

Rachel takes a big clump of the cake and puts into the blonde's mouth too. They start laughing again, feeding each other with the cake. They stop for a moment, Rachel gulps, her breathing erratic.

Looking up at Quinn as the blonde smiles her sexy smile, she watches as Quinn leans her head and bites Rachel bottom lip seductively. Then she starts licking the cake on Rachel's face. She lifts her head and stares at her wife.

"Oh, look, I forgot to clean here." She leans again and kisses Rachel on the lips. The kiss grows more passionate, with Quinn's tongue probing deep into her wife's mouth as Rachel kisses her back with the same intensity.

"The way mom loves you…"

Quinn moans and slips one hand under Rachel's shirt.

"And Quinn would never have to know."

Her kissing slowly moved down to Rachel's neck then to the small cleavage that is showing above the Brunette's shirt.

Like I would ever choose her over Quinn…

"Fucking bitch."

Oh fuck… did I say that out loud?

"What?" Quinn stops kissing her.

Yes I did…

"I wasn't talking to you, I was thinking about Kate."

"What?!"

"No, no no no… it's not what you're thinking."

Quinn gets up and heads up the steps.

"Quinn!"

Rachel follows her, but the blonde shuts the bedroom's door and locks it from inside.

"Quinn!" Rachel bangs the door with her head. "Idiot, idiot…"

With not much to do, she goes downstairs and finds an excited Luna.

"It seems I'm in the doghouse tonight, come on, let's take a walk."


Back to the house Rachel gives the dog a pat on the rump, then takes off her coat, hanging it and the leash on a hook by the door. Rachel throws herself on the couch and takes a deep breath. She looks at the TV in front of her and something calls her attention.

She stands up and goes toward the movies gathered neatly above the TV. She takes the ones that seem to be the family's personal movies. She chooses one randomly and puts on the blue ray.

"Shhh…"

She recognizes her voice.

"I need to be quiet. She is still sleeping."

She giggles.

"Today I'm going to share with the world a extraordinary thing! It is something magical…"

The camera goes through the hallway until Rachel reaches her bedroom.

"Look that, isn't she the most beautiful woman alive?"

"Rach!"

Quinn whines and Rachel giggles happily.

"Look this."

She zooms in.

"How can she be this beautiful in the morning? Ain't I right? It's magical."

"You're crazy."

Rachel straddles the blonde and keeps filming.

"But you love me."

"I do. But you're crazy."

"So say it, I need it recorded."

"I'm not going to say it now."

"Say it!"

"No."

"Come on!"

She starts tickling Quinn.

"Okay, stop it!"

"Come on babe."

"I love you Rachel Berry."

Watching it in awe, Rachel is mesmerized by the video and how Quinn is looking at her. The blonde is completely loose and happy and beautiful.

Quinn is really beautiful, she thinks.

She can't help but think.

Is this the life I would've had if I…

"If I had said I love you? If I…"

She starts thinking about that night again.

Flashback:

"I need to tell you something."

"Okay," Rachel nods, eyes glazed over the blonde as she observers her friend attentively. She notices how Quinn seems oddly nervous as the blonde closes her eyes, her hands shaking.

"Hey, it's okay… it's me…" Rachel holds Quinn's hands.

"I'll be straight." She sighs. "I love you." She bursts out the words.

"Oh, I love you too." Rachel says happily, her denial in control.

"No, I meant, I'm in love with you Rach."

Rachel freezes, eyes wide open.

"Please say something..."

"I..." She shakes her head violently. "No, no, no!"

Rachel stands up abruptly and goes toward the exit.

"Rach…" Quinn follows her outside. "Rach…"

"No, you can't do this!"

"I, I really love you."

"As a friend! Look, we got really close, more even actually, you're just confused."

"Rach! Look at me! I'm not confused."

"Yes, you are. You don't love me. You can't love me, I can't…" She starts crying.

"I do Rach… please. I'm in love with you. I've been for awhile now." Quinn gets close to her.

"Don't do that please."

Tears run down Quinn's face as Rachel lifts her hand to wipe the blonde's tears.

"Please, I need you to be my friend."

"I don't know if I can do it anymore."

"Please…"

"Just look into my eyes, look into my eyes and tell me you don't love me."

"I do love you Quinn." Rachel whines.

"No! You know what I mean!" Quinn gets a little closer, their faces almost touching each other.

"Tell me."

"I'm sorry. I don't… I don't love you like that."

"Okay."

She starts walking away and then she stops, she turns to Rachel and says:

"You didn't look into my eyes."

Now:

Rachel sighs.

"I didn't…"