Carol had no idea where he went. It had to be somewhere he could be alone… There weren't a whole lot of options. She finally found Daryl 20 minutes later hiding out in the building where they stored all the weapons and ammo. He was repairing bolts and trying to fix a crossbow that they hadn't been able to use. She walked in, shut the door and locked it behind her.

"Daryl," she sighed. "What the hell is going on? Talk to me."

"What do you want to know?" He snapped. Daryl looked up and continued before she could answer. "You want me to talk about watching Aaron get shot in the head, a lot like Beth did, and die on the ground in front of me before I even knew what the fuck was happening?" Carol felt her chest tighten. Daryl would never fully forgive himself for Beth dying. He felt responsible as the adult, and blamed himself for losing her. Much like he'd blamed Carol for Sophia's disappearance when he lashed out at her that night so long ago on the farm. The fact Aaron's death reminded him of Beth had to make it even harder. "You want to hear about me watching Glenn escape and how happy I was for him... But how it felt to know I ain't never gonna see him again? Or the others. Or you..." His voice softened, but only for a second.

"Or do you want to know how they beat the shit out of me trying to make me answer questions that I wasn't never gonna tell them?" Daryl met her eye and the look terrified her. "Or do you want to know how he grabbed his wife... His fucking wife... And slit her throat inches from my face... For no other reason than to prove how goddamn ruthless and psychotic he is."

"Oh God..." Carol whispered, taking a few steps closer. She wanted to hold him so badly, but he was too emotional and angry, it would have to wait. "Daryl, I'm so sorry."

"Don't," he muttered. "Don't look at me like that. I don't need or want your pity. We've all been through unspeakable shit." Carol immediately thought of Lizzie, Mika and Sophia. "I just need you to understand and let me deal with it my own way."

"I want to... But it's not safe out there," she started. Couldn't he understand that? Didn't he get how it terrified her every time he walked out the gates and that was before they knew there was a psychopath.

"I need to go. You need to let me," Daryl insisted. His voice was filled with a desperation she couldn't grasp or understand. "It's the only time I can clear my mind and just let it all go for a few hours." He somehow managed a smile, "You're a great distraction, but when it's over I think about how close I came to never seeing you again."

This was her best chance to get him to understand her point of view. "And every time you walk out those gates I wonder if you'll come back." She took a few steps closer. "Please don't make me keep you here by force," Carol said, giving him a look to indicate she was quite serious.

Daryl jumped to his feet, reacting to her words in anger. "You can't cage me like an animal," he growled.

"I can't lose you," Carol replied passionately. It was her breaking point. He was angry, he was hurting. But so was she. Tears of frustration spilled over. "I'll do anything to keep you safe." Daryl mumbled something she didn't understand. But finally - finally he came to her and pulled her into his arms.

"Please trust me," he whispered into her ear, hugging her tight to his body. "They had the chance to kill me, but they didn't. They brought me back. It's safe for me out there." Carol realized that he had a point. They didn't kill him. They could have. But wondering why just made it worse.

"Why didn't they kill you?" Carol asked, drawing back. "And why did they bring you back?"

Daryl shrugged and shuffled his feet, it was clearly something he'd thought about and was painful for him. "Maybe I'm a warning. Maybe he thought it would be easier on me to die than to have to live with what I saw…Maybe he's punishing me in a different way... "

Carol touched his cheek. "I won't pity you, like you asked. But I need you to know I'm hurting with you. You're right, I know unspeakable pain too. And we're in this together. Forever." Daryl nodded and took her other hand in his for a quick squeeze. "I really don't like the idea of you going out there at all, but you going alone makes it even worse."

"You gotta trust me," Daryl sighed. "I can't take anyone with me. They let me go. They might attack anyone I take out there." He kissed the top of her head. "I promise I won't go far. And I won't stay out as long as I've been staying out. Just give me a couple more weeks to try and clear my head, please?"

Carol felt uneasy about the situation, but she knew that keeping Daryl caged up behind the walls would only make things worse for him. He was already in so much pain, she couldn't add to it. But there was still something off. There was a reason they let Daryl go and she had to figure it out somehow… Before it was too late.

She took a long deep breath and finally nodded. "Okay, I'll agree but I have a couple conditions. First, you will wake me when you leave so I know what time you've left. If you're any longer than 2 hours I'm sending a team to search for you." Daryl tipped his head in agreement. "And secondly, Rick has to agree too."

"What? No," Daryl shook his head. "The less people know the better. You know, Michonne knows… and the sniper. That's enough."

Carol crossed her arms and stood firm, "We tell Rick or it's no deal." Daryl looked angry. "It's one more person," Carol tried to rationalize it. "And he's your best friend. Besides, for all we know Michonne could tell him anyway. She could tell a lot of people..."

"Fuck. You're right. I gotta go find her," Daryl looked slightly panicked. He really seemed to be over reacting to everything but Carol chalked it up to the ordeal he'd been through.

"And apologize?" Carol blinked at him.

"Shit." He took the subtle hint. "I'm sorry I lied to you. Or, well, didn't tell you what I was doing I guess." Daryl looked awkward and shy. There hadn't been much need for apologizing in their relationship. It was new and difficult.

Carol did her best to make it easy. "I know you feel bad. And I know you felt like you had to hide it from me. But from now on we gotta be open and honest okay?"

"Yup," he replied, still looking embarrassed.

"Okay then. I'm going to talk to Rick and you go find Michonne, if she's still awake," Carol instructed. "But before you go..." She couldn't let him leave without a kiss. It was long and tender with the promise of more later on. She didn't want to let him go, but they both had places they needed to be. Daryl lingered for a second before leaving. It was his way of letting her know he loved her. There were times he had no problem saying the words, but sometimes it was a little gesture instead, which meant every bit as much to her.

"I love you too," she whispered as the door closed behind him.

It hadn't been a complete lie. In fact, everything he said to her about what happened was the truth. He had seen Aaron shot in the head. He had watched Glenn escape. And the fucking bastard in charge had introduced him to his wife and then slit her throat right in front of him. Daryl could still feel the warmth of the blood hitting him as it spurted from the wound. He'd seen a lot of shit but it was the first time he'd been that close to throwing up. It wasn't the blood. It wasn't the gore… It was the principle of what happened. It wasn't a random stranger. It was a woman that man was supposed to love.

If he could kill her in cold blood without a second thought what else was he capable of? This man was clearly a narcissist of the highest form. He wasn't someone to take lightly. And Daryl would not be fucking around with this guy. But he was going to kill him one day. Somehow. He would get revenge for Aaron's murder. For the abuse. For the threats and everything the fucking asshole was putting him through. And for killing a woman Daryl didn't even know. She didn't deserve to die.

The hardest part was lying to Carol. He had no choice. He had to protect her. She was his world. Carol was smart. She was intuitive and intelligent. She was a very good judge of character and Daryl was certain that if it was anyone but him she would know for sure she was being lied to. But Carol trusted him and that's what made it so much harder. The guilt was almost unbearable. It was her trust in him that blinded her and he was using that to his advantage. He could only hope that in the end… she would simply understand. And if she never did understand at least she would still be alive. At the end of the day that was his number one priority.

Daryl drew in a breath and tried to push it all away. He was very uneasy about Carol telling Rick. Rick knew him as well as Carol did, but he was a cop by nature and he would be suspicious. It wouldn't be as easy to use their mutual trust as it was with Carol. He'd figure it out though. Somehow. He had to.

Now to find Michonne and hope to hell she'd kept her mouth shut. She was not going to be happy and he was gonna have to grovel. But he would do whatever was necessary to fix their relationship. But how the fuck was he supposed to work to regain her trust when all he was doing was lying to her again?

Daryl refocused. He couldn't lose his focus. He had a clear goal in mind and he would reach it. The man would die and Daryl would be the one to kill him.