Chapter 3: The Death Of His Little Bird

Wordless I stared at him. Yes, I recalled him, I recalled what happened in past, but I refused to believe it. Was it a coincidence to meet him again? Was he following me after all? Why couldn't he just leave me alone?! Too many other problems haunted my mind, I didn't need another one! In this moment he was nothing more than an annoying cockroach to me I just wanted to get rid of.

... ... ... ... ...

Oswald watched her standing up. Still waiting for her to take his hand he smiled at her. He tried to encourage her. „A pleasure to meet you." His grin became even wider. „Again. At last" What happened next discomposed him greatly. With one hard blow she knocked the umbrella out of his hand.

The air got intensely illuminated by a single lightening, it's noisy deep sonic-boom sound threatened to rupture one's eardrums.

He watched the umbrella fall to the ground. Dismayed he flashed his eyes at her. The girl cut her eyes to him. „Who gives a fuck about who you are?! I don't know you! We never met before! And I have no intention to get to know a dipstick like you! Leave me the fuck alone already!"

... ... ... ... ...

It was impossible for me to contain myself. I felt a bit sorry for what I said. He hadn't done any harm to me. He was just a valve for my anger, for my frustration, for my desperation. My sudden outburst dismayed myself. What was I just thinking? He only wanted to be nice to me and I acted like a stupid bitch.

Turning around I attempted to run away. A painful strong grip on my wrist didn't allow me to do so. That guy named Oswald hauled me close to him. This sudden act made me static for a moment. His raging eyes pierced me, scared and mesmerized me at the same time. His dangerously calm voice made me feel like a chickadee being captured in a tiny birdcage, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to escape.

„Still denying you remember that day back then? Don't. Lie. To. Me. I can see through you." For what it seemed like an eternity our eyes were locked at each other. No. I didn't want to know him. I didn't want to remember.

My mother was still alive that time when I met him as a child. She called after me as I sat beside him that day. My family and me visited a circus before and had a lot of fun. We were still a family. We were together. My mother, my father, my brother and me. It was a joyful day. This memory hurt me. No. I didn't want to remember. I didn't want to remember…

Able to move again I tried to get away from him. I felt his hand grasping tighter around my wrist. We struggled, with all my power I wanted to free myself. He just wouldn't release me. How comes he was so strong? His appearance made you think he was just a wuss.

„Let me go!" I screamed, causing some pedestrians to glimpse at us. Nothing they did do to help me. Yes, this definitely was Gotham.

„Say you remember me!" he yelled, his calmness completely gone. With clenched teeth I scratched his face with my free hand and spat at him. It made him drop his own umbrella. Using his distraction I was finally able to break free.

Not looking back I ran as fast as my legs could take me. I ran. I ran. I just ran. The roll of the thunder exploded in my ears. It felt like my heart pumped vigorous toxic drugs into my veins, my brain, making my body quicker, stronger, pushier. I ran. I just ran. Whereto? I didn't know. I didn't care. I just ran.

... ... ... ... ...

Incredulous he glared after her. He felt his own warm blood mingled with the cold rain on his cheek. Touching his wound, Oswald still couldn't believe what just happened. The spot she kissed as a little girl was now damaged by her. His hands clenched into fists as he turned his head to the white and red umbrella.

No. His light of hope got flimsier maybe, yet it wasn't completely gone. It couldn't be gone. It mustn't be gone! „I won't let this be over." Oswald took the umbrella again. It got a bit dirty. He let out an amused pant. „Like you, my little dove. Pure at first, tainted after the fall."

Oswald looked at the direction she escaped only a few moments ago. His eyes became angry slits. „Now more than ever," the pale young man said to himself in a low voice, a devilish smile on his face.

... ... ... ... ...

I had no idea for how long I was running already or where I was heading to. Becoming slower and slower I finally came to a halt. A call box was nearby. I stepped into it and sank down. Gradually I realized what just happened. I realized he wasn't a person to be trifled with. I didn't know how he has been as a boy, but now he was ruthless. For sure. His grip around my wrist…

I recalled his words when he said, „You would do well to take my advice and leave," as boy. Maybe it would have been the best thing to do. Then he wouldn't want to see me again. He would have forgotten me. He wouldn't think I am someone to rely on. Well, I was, but only for my friends. I was just a little girl back then. Innocent. I just wanted to be nice.

I just… I didn't know… I didn't know why I went to… Oswald was his name? Why did I comfort him that day? Pity? Curiosity? Both? I closed my eyes. His overpowering blue eyes appeared in front of me once more. My eyes shot open. „Stop… Stop thinking about him. It's over. He will leave me alone from now on." I wasn't very nice to him, was I? He would give up.

It was difficult to estimate him. Oswald… What was his last name? Think… think… I wasn't able to bethink. Anyway, I didn't give a crap. Screw him! Screw him… I touched my wrist. It was still hurting from his strong hold and a bruise started to show up. I was angry, sad, confused, everything. My fist hit the pane of glass. I cried again. „Mother. Help me," I breathed.

Before Oswald could open the door to his apartment, his mother did it for him. Her smiling face turned into a worried one when she saw her son drenched and with a wound on his face. „My god, what happened to you? Who did this malevolent thing to my son?!" She tried to touch his wound, but Oswald stopped her. Giving no answer he just passed her by. „Oswald Chesterfield Kapelput!"

Eye-rolling he faced Gertrud. „Yes, mother?" He really didn't need any lecture from her now. He knew already what she was about to say. „Why are you all wet? Why you don't use your umbrella? You want to end like your poor poor father? So poor your father was!" „No, Ma, I don't want to end like him." „And your face? Who did this? I told you don't get close to any loose woman! Or-„

„Stop it, Ma. I am fine. Just business. No hussy." He was tired of using this excuse, but it was the best justification he could think of. And every time she would swallow this subterfuge.

„And what is this?" Gertrud points at the dirty girlish umbrella. „Oh, this. A little girl dropped it outside. I thought I will pick it up and return it to her when she shows up again." Gertrud beamed proudly at her son. Caressing his unscathed cheek she said, „Such a good man you became. Gentle and kind. Oh, if everybody would be so good as you are, my son. World would be a better place. So much better." Oswald touched his mother's hand and smiled back at her.

... ... ... ... ...

Darkness surrounded me. I wasn't able to see anything. I felt a presence. Someone was here. With me. I wasn't alone. I felt it's icy breath on my skin, on my neck. Who was it? What was it? Frightened I spun around. I wanted to punch that thing, but my fists would always meet just air. I heard a vague chuckle in the gloom. The fear paralyzed me, slowly pervaded my whole body.

„Who are you?!" I cried. „Where are you? Show yourself!" I felt a sharp pain on the joint between my hand and forearm. Someone or something seized me there. A pair of glacier-blue eyes gleamed through the darkness like a cold blazing inferno. They threatened to consume me, burning me to the ground. I couldn't manage to look away.

„Remember me," a male voice spoke.

His voice.

Remember me.

Remember me.

Remember me!

Each time he said it his voice became louder until he howled at me. In a heartbeat his face was close to mine. I sensed his gasp on my lips, his eyes were directly in front of me. „Remember me," he whispered.

A knock on the phone box's pane woke me up. „Excuse me, Miss. I don't mean to interrupt your beauty sleep, but I have an urgent call to make."

The man was covered in dark clothes, expect of his white shirt. His appearance was the archetype of a detective I thought. Tall, wearing a dark old-school detective hat, a black leather jacket, black trousers and shoes and, of course, a necktie. His bearded face looked slightly annoyed. I must have been fallen asleep in here. Gladly, It didn't rain anymore. Weakly I stood up and let him enter. Another man approached. He was rather good looking, also tall, with short brown hair.

„Harvey!", he yelled while running towards him. „They found a body." „Brothers Grimm again?" Harvey asked. „Or the Romeo & Juliet Suicide Club? Damn, who comes up with this stupid names anyway?" „Ask the press. And since we found only a woman's body I would say Brothers Grimm stroke again." „James Gordon!" that guy, Harvey, said in a pejorative way. „Gimme a second, I was just about to-„ „Harvey!" that guy named Gordon kept pushing. „Okay, okay," the elder man gave in.

It sounded like they really were detectives or something. Wait! Gordon? Could it be? Was he the one my father talked about? I opened my mouth to ask him, but both of them ran off before one single word could be spoken. Well, sooner or later I would see if he was that Gordon or not. I had no strength to run after them. They seemed to be pretty busy anyway.

Deeply I breathed in. The air smelled fresh and clean thanks to the rain. A few sunbeams broke through the clouds. The ground was still wet from the rainfall. I shivered. I felt cold. My clothes were still wet. It was silent. My dream came into my mind. Once more I saw his eyes looking at me. His voice infused my ears, my body. I felt his hand on my wrist.

Massaging my temples I shook my head. „Stop thinking about him. You have other issues to solve." Another deep breath. „Okay, collect yourself, _ _ _ _ _. All is good. All is fine. You just need some rest."

... ... ... ... ...

Before dusk the girl finally approached her home. After taking a bath once more - Oswald's mother wouldn't stop to pester him to take one - he told his mother he had another business to take care of.

He couldn't resist. He had to come back and see her again. His eyes followed each step she took. Oswald wondered where she have been. She looked drained. Was it because of their small fight before?

And I have no intention to get to know a dipstick like you!

„You have no choice, my dear." He wanted her back. He wanted that cute little girl back. The girl who solaced him. Who smiled at him. Who made him feel accepted. He wanted her comfort again. For too long he waited for her. For his girl. And that she was in that moment she kissed his cheeks. She sealed her fate with this kiss. His fate.

Oswald wouldn't allow her to go anywhere anymore, leaving him alone once more. The thought of being left alone anew was unbearable for him. Oswald took out his camera. As she walked inside the apartment building he took some more pictures of her. He smiled to himself. „Wait for me. We will meet soon again."

... ... ... ... ...

Home, Sweet Home. With many thoughts in my mind I opened my apartment door. Mrs. Sullivan's chicken bouillon came into my mind. „Exactly what I need now." While taking a shower I heated up the soup. I finished as quickly as possible. Slipping into cozy shorts, my favorite T-Shirt and my fluffy sorbet yellow socks I was looking forward to eat it. The hot water on my skin before and the warm soup filled me with new energy. I felt a lot better and refreshed. Mrs. Sullivan was right. It really made me fit in a flash. With the cup of fruit tea I made afterwards, I sat down on the window bench and looked outside.

The smell of pomegranate, apple, hibiscus and orange let me relax and freed my mind from everything what happened today. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth which spread in my body. I felt new-born. Suddenly his eyes rushed through my mind again. I opened my eyes in shock. Why was I thinking about him? This chapter was closed. End of story. This guy, Oswald, he hurt me, so why did I waste my thought on him?

My phone began to ring. What is it now? I'd love to have my peace for once. „Hello? _ _ _ _ _speaking." It was my work mate, Sarah. „What's up?" I wanted to know. „Guess what? I dumped that son of a bitch! I knew it! I caught him with this slut and-„ „Woah, woah! Calm down, girl." Sarah was kind of a friend for me, not only a colleague. I wouldn't go so far to say I trusted her with all my heart, but we got along well. She worked as a waitress at the Blue Oceans and often we casted aspersions on some of our customers. Hey, some people just didn't deserve better! Sarah always suspected her boyfriend cheating on her and now it seemed like he got caught in the act.

„_ _ _ _ _, let's go out! I really need some drinks. And some cute boys. A new bar opened a few blocks away from me. Wanna give it a try? There will be a live rock band too!" „Don't want to go to our bar?" I said ironical. „What? And put more money in this fat greedy piggy trap of his?" Sad, but true. We had to pay the full price when we wanted a drink. Mr. Duncan, our boss, was really a greedy little pig. But who wasn't in Gotham? Sarah felt my hesitation. „Come on, _ _ _ _ _! When was the last time you had a blast? It's time for a girls' night out!"

She was right. It has been too long since I had a fun time. I agreed. Maybe it wasn't the best idea, because I had to work the next day. However, I deserved a good time after this hard day. Plus I got new strength thanks to Mr. Sullivan's miracle cure. If I staid here alone in my apartment, I would start to think too much. I would start to think about… him… I was certain going out will do me good.

Sarah explained how to reach the bar and I started to make myself ready for the night. I chose a simple pair of jeans and a loose white tank top. Around my neck was a plain silver necklace with a small cross pendant, also silver in color. My Make Up was as simple as my outfit. I searched for some more accessories to spice up my looks and found my mother's ring. I took it and watched it closely. It was golden, ornamented with a floral design. The ring was crowned with a little heart-shaped sapphire, royal blue as the ocean.

The wedding ring my father gave to her… He worked very hard, took many extra hours, to be able to buy this piece of art for my mother. He really loved her with all of his heart. Before she died she put it in my hands. „I am sorry I can't see you wearing this, my sweet little princess." That time I didn't understand her words. But now I know she wanted, like any mother, to see me in a wedding dress, wearing this ring. She wanted me to be safe, wanted me to find someone who took care of me. Someone who protected me. My mum told me, as long as I have this ring with me, she will be by my side.

I knew it sounded corny, but I did believe her spirit was inside of the sapphire, guarding and guiding me. This thought gave consolation to me. With a nostalgic smile I put it back. It was too precious to me, so I didn't want to wear it. I never would forgive myself if I lose it. „No time to be in the doldrums! Time to party!" While I waited for the cab to pick me up, I put on my leather jacket and black pumps. „Alright, I am ready!"

... ... ... ... ...

Oswald still waited in his car in front of the apartment building. Well, it wasn't his car. He `lent` it from a kind elder gentleman. At night he wanted to pay her a visit. Biting into a sandwich, he watched a taxi approaching. Just a few moments later his girl came out and disappeared inside the cab. „Going out?" he chuckled playfully. „As you wish."

... ... ... ... ...

„Hey, Sarah!" I gave her a tight hug. She looked amazing in her short leather dress. Her blonde hair fell in wild curls over her shoulder. Her deep red lipstick would invite one or two to kiss her. It was clear she didn't want to miss out on anything this night. I didn't blame her. Surely she was heartbroken, she didn't show it, but she was. Sarah deserved some egoistic fun.

As we went inside we were greeted by hard guitar riffs and a powerful singing voice. The rhythm caught me straight away. Moving my body I screamed to cheer for the band. There was a small dance floor as well. Fantastic! Perfect to go hog wild! „Now, did I promise too much?" the blonde blinked at me. No, she didn't.

It was the right choice to go out. I wanted to have some great time and damn, I would get it! I ordered some drinks and danced with Sarah to the music. Slowly the alcohol started to have an effect on me. We laughed and shook our heads and bodies, screamed our lungs out, jumped and played air guitar. I was grateful to her for calling me and taking me out. Even when the reason was rather sad.

„Fuck all guys!" Sarah raised her glass to me. Someone caught her attention. In a sexy voice she said, „Uh, fuck this guys. I take the left one." „Where?" I asked. „Right behind you. At the entrance." Taking a sip on my cocktail I turned around. My body stiffened. The music faded before it disappeared completely. It was him!

The pale man sat alone on a table and studied me. He didn't look happy at all. Was this real? Was he really here? Played the alcohol a prank on me? I looked at my friend and back. Empty. He was gone. „Geez, _ _ _ _ _! Where are you looking at?" Sarah took my head and moved it to the entrance. „Theeeese two sweeties." I saw two tall men, one blonde and one redhead. They smiled at us and we returned their smile. Both of them came up to Sarah and me and started to talk. They seemed to be nice. I calmed down a little bit. „Hello, my name is David. How are you?," the guy with the reddish hair and freckles grinned at me.

Uh, a Scottish accent! That was new to me. He wasn't exactly my type, but he was so charming, I could give it a try. We drank a lot more. Oswald was forgotten. After a while everything around me disappeared, besides David. He kissed me and I loved it. Usually I wasn't that easy, but… just this time I wanted, I needed, to be weak. It has been too long since I felt a warm hand on my body, since I felt desired and needed. I wanted to feel alive again. Wanted to be selfish. Just for once let me be weak…

... ... ... ... ...

Oswald hid in a dark corner. Boisterous she danced with this guy, smiled at this prick. A stranger! When she looked at him before, her face was drawn in fear.

Why couldn't she look at him so affectionately? Why she was so full of hatred and rejection towards him from the beginning? Seeing his girl and that guy dancing so closely incensed him greatly. It got even worse. That man kissed her suddenly. And she? She didn't push him back. Their kiss became passionate, wild. She laughed, clearly enjoyed it.

His anger mixed with disappointment. This couldn't be. This couldn't be happening! Oh, how he wanted to approach this guy and stab him a hundred times in his stomach, watching him bleed to death, like a slaughtered pig. Oswald watched his girl and the redhead bidding their goodbyes towards the two blondes. After that they left the bar. Oswald followed them. They took a cab and headed to her apartment. Oswald knew what they were up to, but he didn't understand why. He just couldn't figure it out. He refused to believe what was happening.

But it was real. The little girl he knew died in this moment when they entered the front door together. The little girl died, vanished, didn't exist anymore. His little bird was dead. The light didn't shine for him anymore. It was suffocated. Oswald buried the innocent little girl in his mind. She was gone. He was all alone. Alone in the darkness. Again.

Oswald gave a quick mocking snort. „So god is dead after all, huh?" And if not he would kill god someday for making him suffer his whole life, for giving him one small flickering flame and taking it away from him again in such a cruel way after so many years of hopeful waiting. His eyes burned already from the tears which started to build up. „That was a mistake, my love." Oswald got off the car and followed them into the building.

His leg hurt even more than ever. But the pain was nothing compared to the pain his heart and soul endured that moment. He felt like he lost everything. Even his sanity. For a short moment only, though. He was obsessed with the idea of being with her. That day back then wasn't simply an ordinary day. It was fate. She was made for him and he will have her. Freely or by force. It didn't matter to him. No one would take her away from him. No one!

Standing in front of her apartment door, he could hear their laughter. Oswald smiled, his whole expression got lunatic. He took out his pocket knife. He broke in before. He could do it at any time again. „I will get you back. At any cost."