"So you got another job?" Charlie asked from his place behind the newspaper. Since I informed him that I told Edward, he eased up a little. He no longer stared needlessly, probably wondering where he had gone wrong. What he, or anyone for that matter, didn't know was that it truly was all me. I was the natural mess up. I was the one who was abandoned by a mother her knew her daughter was useless.
"Yeah," I replied playing with the left over milk from my cereal. "I start tomorrow night at the diner."
"What about the job at the grocery store?" He put the paper down. I could see the frown lines beginning to form. One day soon they would be a permanent fixture.
"I still have it. The diner is just part time. I need the extra money, so while I can work two jobs, I am."
He continued to look at me, but didn't say anything. I tried reading him, but he was always a closed book. He rationalized his feeling in his head before he let on to the outside world.
With a sigh, he heaved himself from the seat. "I have to be at work. Will you be home tonight?"
"Yup," I answered. I had nowhere else to be. "Did you need me to do something?"
He continued to stare at me wordlessly. I was beginning to think I had something dangling from my nose that he wasn't telling me about. "No." He seemed as if he was about to something but reconsidered. "No. I'll see you tonight."
It had been three days since the disastrous reveal. Every minute of every day I had the urge to call Edward so we could talk about this in private; in no way had a planned on the whole family being there. The way Edward handled things shocked the hell out of me. That wasn't Edward. Not the one I knew. I was stupid enough to forgive him if he came today and asked for it.
I didn't know what hurt more, though - the fact that he was denying the baby – or soon to be baby – or Edward believing that I had an ulterior motive with the Cullen family. I really thought of them as family – closer than blood – and assumed they thought that way of me. If he thought that way of me, what did the others really think of me? Did they just tolerate me for the sake of Emmett?
Emmett.
He was another issue unto himself and what actually troubled me the most. While Edward hurt me beyond belief, Emmett was my absolute best friend. The best person in this whole world. Was he just tolerating me? There were so many questions I had for him, but I was dodging him. When he called, I didn't answer the phone. When he came by the house I didn't let him in. He had his own key, but he also knew where we kept the spare. He was giving me the space I needed.
~And I won't stop until you believe it~
"I heard something about you," Jessica, the part-time bagger sang.
I rolled my eyes but was still curious. "Yeah? And what's that?"
"That you got yourself preggers by your sugar daddy, but now he wants nothing to do with you. Your plan back-fired, huh?" she laughed.
"And exactly where did you hear this?" There were only a handful of people who knew but only two could be the source. I prayed that it wasn't Rosalie, but was pretty confident that it was Alice. She was vicious enough to spread that kind of damaging rumor. Jasper was also a possibility, but it wasn't in his nature to be so catty as to gossip and spread lies.
"Without revealing any names, she's pretty close to you so I know she's reliable," Jessica revealed.
"Did Alice tell you who said sugar daddy was?" I asked a stunned Jessica. Surely she couldn't think I was dumb enough to not know who told her.
"I never said it was Alice," she stammered.
"You didn't need to. Who's my sugar daddy?" I asked again.
Thankfully, she gave up all pretenses. "She didn't name names. Is it true, though?"
"I am," I sighed, knowing that it was going to come out sooner or later. I didn't think it would be this soon, though. But there was never a sugar daddy, though. If I did have one, do you think I'd be killing myself ringing groceries and stocking shelves five days a week? Alice tells half-truths."
"Who's the dad?" she asked eagerly, bypassing everything I just said.
To tell or not to tell. I already knew that wasn't going to say anything. This was a private, unresolved matter between Edward and me. I wasn't ashamed to admit that I fathered a child with him. I'd shout it from the rooftop if I could. Even if we didn't have that showdown the other day, I was pretty sure Edward wouldn't have been too thrilled with me as his baby's mother.
"It's Emmett Cullen, isn't it?" She was so sure. Did we give off the vibe that we were dating?
"Why does anyone keep thinking that?" I asked out loud.
"Because you two are joined at the hip and it's common knowledge that guys and girls can't be friends without some kind of sexual tension. If you ask me, it was about time you hit that. He's seriously gorgeous."
Her response didn't surprise me. Throughout high school, and even after, I was asked constantly if there was something romantic going on between Emmett and I. Whenever I responded in the negative they looked at me as if I was crazy. I could admit that Emmett was good looking – I wasn't blind – but I wasn't attracted to him like that. I saw him like a brother and it was too gross to consider going there with him. Edward, on the other hand, was the furthest thing from a sibling to me and maybe I was biased, but Edward was, by far, cuter than Emmett. Not even in the nerdy sense. Edward was just …hot.
"I guess it's a good thing I didn't ask you then," I retorted. "Emmett is not the father and don't ask again who is because I'm not saying."
"You're no fun," She pouted.
"No one ever said pregnancy was fun." I shrugged her off. She was nosey, but otherwise harmless. Like the rest of us, she was bored in Forks and latching on to gossip was something to do to pass the time. "Look, just do me a favor. I'm not going to ask you to keep the pregnancy to yourself. That would be completely pointless. But I'm asking you not to keep the sugar daddy rumor circulating."
"Yeah, all right. I'm sure Alice has already told the whole town anyway."
~When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now your bleeding~
"Come on!" I whined to my truck that refused to start. I beat on the wheel to help release all the pent up aggression.
I didn't want to, but I had to call Emmett. It was my first night at the diner and I had no way of getting there. I called his cell, but got no answer. If I didn't want to call him before, I really didn't want to call him now. Emmett had a tendency to leave his cell in random places and just forget about it. I shouldn't have been surprised that he didn't answer. Now, I'd have to call his house phone and who knows who would answer. I bit the bullet and dialed. It rang three times.
And since I had shitty luck…
"Hello?" Edward answered angrily. I cursed caller ID.
"Hi…um…this is Bella," I replied stupidly. "Can I speak to Emmett? I don't think he has his phone on him."
"One moment, please." I heard the soft thud as he placed the phone down. That was it, but could I really expect him to greet me friendlier?
I waited for what seemed like forever. Was Emmett even there? Or was Edward playing childish games and keeping me waiting only to tell me that Emmett wasn't even at home. It had to be the former, because the latter wasn't his style.
"Hey, Bella. You there?" Emmett greeted as he answered the phone.
"Yeah, I'm here. What took so long?"
"I was in the shower. I'm taking Rosalie out tonight."
"Oh. Um…okay. Have fun then. I'll talk to you later." I heard him shout my name as I pulled the phone away from my ear. "I'm still here."
"Did you need something?" he asked with concern.
"It's alright. I'll figure something out. Say hi to her for me."
"No, what is it? It's not a formal date; we were just going to hang out. What's up?"
"I need a ride to work. I got a part-time thing at the diner and my truck's being stupid."
"Well damn! Another job?" I heard rustling on the other end of the line. "Give me twenty minutes."
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank, Em."
Fifteen minutes later there was opening and closing of the door followed by footsteps.
"In here," I called from the kitchen.
"Hey," Emmett greeted shyly. He looked around the room as if he hadn't been here in years.
"Hey. Let me just get my stuff." I went to walk out of the room but doubled back. I couldn't act like there wasn't some elephant in the room. The issue needed to be addressed and it was killing me to have this tension with him. "Can we talk real quick?"
"Please. I've been trying to give you time, but this thing between us sucks."
I leaned against the sink and got straight to the point. "Did you really say that to Edward? That I was acting like your shadow?" It saddened me to think about it again.
"I did," he confessed. He was quick to stride over to me, taking my hands in his. "But I was what…seven, eight years old? You can't hold it against me now." He flashed me a smile that no girl could resist. While I didn't want to jump his bones, it did make it easier to forgive him when I was mad. "Plus, this is Edward we're talking about. He probably remembers what I had for lunch six years ago on the second Tuesday of June." I let him engulf me in his huge arms. I was partially smothered as he rocked me back and forth. "C'mon, B. You know you're my best friend and how much I love you. I was a little asshole when I was a kid. You can be my shadow any time." My laughter was muffled by his shoulder. I pushed myself back.
"Do you think what he said was true, then? That I'm trying to find my way into the family?" I asked.
"You've been trying to get into the family forever," he joked. I shoved his shoulder, giggling with him.
"No, seriously. Is that what you think?"
"I'll tell you what I know," he began seriously. "I know that you're so stupidly in love with the guy that you'd let him slide with the way he talked to you. We had a huge fight after you left that night. We're not on the best of terms right now."
"Em," I groaned. "Don't fight with him over this – over me. Your family is going to have another reason to hate me."
"My family doesn't hate you, but that's beside the point. I'm telling you, you're going to let him slide. No matter how much I tell you not to, you still will," he said pointedly. "Just…don't let him break your heart even more. It seems inevitable at this point."
I gave him a sad, pathetically knowing look. He was right. "You know I still love him, right? Like, despite the way he ripped me a new one, I would still love to be with him. That's…really bad, huh?"
He smirked and gave me a small smile. "I don't know about bad, but…it's something, I guess. I wish I could empathize but…" he trailed off not knowing what to say.
"It's alright. I know." I released a deep sigh. "We have to get going. I'm going to be late."
~ So don't act like it's such a bad thing to fall in love with me~
"You piece of shit!" I yelled out, banging on the steering wheel. The truck had died on me twice since I got it started again. Not only was this car not baby-safe, it was a fucking death trap. It stalled on me again about a block away from the hospital. I ungracefully hopped out and walked the rest of the way. Hopefully, it would get towed, junked, and go straight to hell. Getting a new car was another expense I couldn't afford.
"Hi, Ms. Zafrina," I greeted the old nurse at the front station. She was an old Caribbean lady who had been at the hospital for what seemed like forever. She had been here when I was a little girl and didn't appear as if she was going anywhere anytime soon.
"Hello, young Isabella," she greeted me the same way she had she since my first visit many years ago. Her accent was not as thick as it used to be. "What brings you by tonight?"
I had rehearsed this since I got in my truck. "Edward forgot his dinner and Esme asked me to bring it over," I lied, but held up the paper bag to support my story. I guess it wasn't a complete lie since I did bring food; it just wasn't Esme's food.
"Such a sweet girl you are," she cooed. "You've got good timing. He just hat down in the office a few minutes ago. Do you know where it is?" I shook my head. I had never visited him at work. "Down that hall right there," she pointed, "three doors down on the left."
"Thanks. Have a good night." I waved and made my way down the designated hall. Thankfully, his office door didn't have a window. He couldn't see me as I stood there, my hand raised but afraid to actually knock. I counted to twenty and let my knuckles tap the door once. If he didn't hear it then I would take it as a sign.
"Come in," he called from the other side.
Shit!
Bracing myself to be kicked out once he saw me, I hesitantly stepped into his domain. He shot up from behind his desk.
"I came with a peace offering," I said quickly. I held up the paper bag. "Two crunchy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." He loved them. Maybe it would help him realize that I did know him; that I wasn't a shallow and superficial opportunist who only saw dollar signs.
"What do you want? It's highly inappropriate for you to show up at my place of work. I don't want to argue with you here."
I stepped further into his office uninvited, closing the door behind me. If by some chance it did get loud, and least the closed door would muffle it some. I placed the bag on his surprisingly disorganized desk.
"I'm not here to fight with you, Edward." I moved toward a chair with the intention of sitting, but thought better of it. "Can I?" I motioned toward the chair. He continued to glare, but eventually allowed it. "Thanks. It's been a really long day and my feet are killing me and the store was crazy busy all day and…"
"Why are you here, Bella," Edward cut me off.
"Right." I forgot how I had a tendency to ramble around him. "The other day was really bad. I never it even imagined it going down like that." I recollected that horrible day. It made me think a lot about myself and how other people, particularly the Cullens, viewed me as a person. "Did you really mean those things you said?"
"Look." Edward took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "My behavior that day was deplorable, and for that I apologize. However, I stand by what I said. I don't trust your intentions or paternity claim."
I nodded, accepting his apology just like Emmett knew I would. I hadn't really thought of what I would say if I saw Edward tonight. Frankly, I didn't think I would make it this far.
"Okay. Um…I guess that's understandable," I accepted, but was still wholly confused. "I never really thought about it, but despite all the years we've known each other, you don't really know me." Hormones were going a little nuts at the moment. I huffed out a laugh to help prevent myself from crying. "I gotta say, though, that I thought you would think a little better of me than that. I'm not sure what I ever did or said to make you think I was that kind of person."
"It's the only reasonable explanation for all of this," he answered.
"I'm not sure what you mean," I replied, still lost as to what was going on here. There was no reasonable explanation besides what I had already explained.
"Nothing." He began shuffling papers about. I was pretty sure he was doing it just to give himself something to do. "I have work that I need to finish," he said in way of dismissing me.
"No, Edward!" I said a little too loudly. I flinched at the volume, but refused to back down. "Tell me what you think this is. You already said I was after your money – which is bullshit – but what reasonable explanation is there?"
Edward seemed just as angry as I was. "It is the money, Bella!" He slapped his palms against the papers on his desk. "What else could it be?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Am I really supposed to believe that you're attracted to me? Do you know how many times I've heard that? From girls that needed homework help, a study partner, or a nurse looking for career advancement. Or guys who want to be my best friend because we have 'a lot in common'. It's all nonsense, Bella. You're no different." He took a deep breath. "Actually, I take that back. You might be worse because you're not just trying to take advantage of me, but my family as well."
I didn't know whether to cry or laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Edward thought that I was trying to use him because there was no feasible way that someone could like him for him. He thought that there had to be some egotistical motivation. He was wrong though. It was me who had proven to be unlovable, or even truly liked. In the end, I settled for stunned silence.
Edward, on the other hand, was genuinely nice guy. He was good. He loved his parents and his brother. He gave back to his community and was dedicated to his job and the well-being of others. Edward was a great catch to some deserving woman. A woman that really loved him, and while there would never be someone who loved him more than me, he would never see me as "the one."
I could see the moment Edward realized all that he had divulged without meaning to. His eyes widen and his cheeks took on pink blush. I had to spare him further embarrassment.
"I need to get home." I stood from the chair and tucked it back in. "Can I call you? I think we need to finish talking about this?"
"I don't see what for. The only conversation that we need to have will be in six months time."
He looked away from me and opened a file. I truly was dismissed this time. Nothing was resolved, but I wasn't sure if I expected things to be. The issue was too big, too life changing to be settled in just one night.
It was foolish of me, but I was hoping that he would take back what he said. Admit that he lashed out in anger and he didn't mean to say something so mean. But I guess that was Edward – say what you mean and mean what you say. Maybe that was a motto that intelligent people lived by.
"Good night, Edward." I didn't wait for the reply wouldn't come anyway.
I was a few steps away when I heard the crinkle of a paper bag.
AN: Thanks for reading. A few quick things. Thanks for those who have rec'd this story, especially so early on. I'm not sure how many chapters this story is going to be since planning ahead is not really my forte.
I do have an account on TWCS, but I haven't really posted there. I find it kinda hard to navigate, but if enough people prefer to read it over there then I'll consider it.
A lot of readers are not fond of Alice (for obvious reasons). I frequently have Alice as a "foe" since a lot of stories have her as the annoying best friend. Her reasons for disliking Bella will eventually come to light. Whether she's justified or not will certainly be subjective.
I think I covered the most commonly asked questions. If I didn't, I'll try in the next chapter. See you next time.
