Die For You
A/N: Before you start reading this, I just want to thank you for clicking on my story; this is my favourite fanfiction that I've wrote (and ironically the least popular of my Victorious ones). I beg of you, please review, it means the world to me.
XXXXXXX
Exhausted, Tori collapsed onto the sofa, her legs and arms sprawled in every direction. She lay there for an hour, having no intention of moving until the morning came. Suddenly, Tori was overwhelmed with a sadness, and she couldn't quite fathom why it was there. She's just gotten her casts removed so she should be happy, right?
Sitting up, Tori rubbed her aching joints, still a bit sore from her injuries. Now she remembers.
Not enough of a risk taker am I? She thought as she recalled the events of some weeks ago. I'll show them… Tori eyed the glass of wine and wine bottle her Mom had left on the table. She staggered over to the table and picked up the glass hesitantly.
Before she could change her mind, Tori thrust the glass to her lips, downing the wine as if it were a shot. Immediately, Tori coughed and sputtered as she clutched her throat, the liquid burning it; but as she did so, her grip released on the glass and fell to the floor, making a shattering, discord sound.
The teenager whipped around, expecting to see her Mom, or Dad, or Trina charge down the stairs. As moments passed by without a sound, she remembered she was alone tonight. Her sister was on a school trip, her Mom had gone out to dinner with a friend of her father's, and her Dad had gotten an emergency call and had to head to work.
Tori breathed a sigh of relief. She looked down at the shards of glass, the reflection spread out on each individual fragment, as if she too had shattered. Her fingers wrapped around the bottle. This time, she took a small sip. Then another. And another. Tori mused at how much she actually liked the beverage now. It tasted good. Strange,- certainly an acquired taste- but good.
An a hour and a half later, Tori had drank not one, but two bottles of wine, and had started her third. Ha, Mom and Dad reeaallyy need to hide these better she thought. She felt exhilarated. It felt so good yet so bad. She was buzzing with excitement; she couldn't believe what she'd done. If she wasn't so drunk, she'd regret it- but drunk Tori was loving her new risk taking persona.
And she wasn't going to stop there.
XXXXXXX
Dressed up, make-up slathered on, another glug of wine taken: Tori was ready. Ready to head out into the night, with no sense whatsoever. She knew what havoc a person could cause when they're drunk. Tonight is gonna be fun... Tori smirked to herself.
Just as she was going to head for the door, a bejewelled masquerade mask on her dressing table caught her eye. It was for a new play Tori was auditioning for that Sikowitz got her, after Tori didn't get the role in the last play she'd auditioned for. She'd been specifically told not to wear the mask outside her house or school.
She snatched the mask off the dresser and put it on.
The night sky was pitch black; the darkness masking the mischievous grin spreading across Tori's fine features. Her drunken manner was not helping her gait, and her voice was rich with alcohol; you wouldn't have known it was Tori.
She practically fell through the door when she arrived at her destination.
Karaoke Dokie.
The blue and purple hued disco lights from inside illuminated the entrance. It was alight with even more little lights dotted around the room. Before going through to the main area, she checked herself out in a mirror hung on a wall, admiring the black, strapless mini dress and black heels which she had taken from her Mom's closet.
Her balance and perception were worsening, so Tori tripped and bashed into the wall. Though she couldn't make out who was, Tori caught sight of a girl singing on stage. Her voice was strong and powerful- entrancing; Tori couldn't help but find the voice familiar.
All this was forgotten when a boy cheering the girl on caught Tori's attention. Squinting, she tried to make out who it was.
Beck!
He looked extra handsome tonight in Tori's tainted eyes. She thought what it would be like to kiss him... She thought how Jade would react; it wouldn't be good- Jade! That's who's singing...
Straightening herself up, the heavily drunken Tori clumsily strutted over to Beck. If this isn't a risk I don't know what is...
"Hey there handsome." She purrs.
"Hey."
This is gonna be easy. Beck's always too polite; he never stands up to any flirting girls. Oh Beck, don't you know the world isn't a place for nice, sweet, boys?
Tori twirled her hair around her finger. "What brings you here tonight, cutie?"
"Um, the music?" He answers as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"Well..." Tori sits down close to Beck. "I think it was fate."
He turns to look at Jade: she hasn't yet noticed that Tori is with him.
"You look very handsome tonight, might I say."
"Uuuhh thanks?"
"And that hair..." Tori reaches out her hand to caress it, and leans in closer as if she's inspecting it. Now's my chance. She leans in further... when she hesitates.
I can't do this to Jade! I know Beck won't do anything to prevent this. Pulling away, Tori stares down at her heels. I guess my friends were right: I really aren't a true risk taker. Looking up at Jade and Beck, a sad smile graces her lips. What am I doing? My friends are more important than this stupid illusion that I can be a risk taker.
"You know, you remind me of someone-"
In a flash, Tori locks her lips onto Beck's. She couldn't have Beck realising it was her.
A pit of nausea resides within her- the guilt.
Planning to run out of the bar without Beck being able to connect the dots in time, she prepares to tear away from the kiss, when the ear-splitting sound of a microphone dropping causes Beck to tear away first.
The nausea worsens when Tori sees the distraught look on Jade's face. She runs off stage and out the back, Beck running after her, calling her name.
Confused mutterings arise from the other Karaoke Dokie customers, baffled at the sudden departure of their entertainment. They're all staring at Tori now. Her face turns from a humiliated red to a cadaverous white, like the flickering of disco lights.
The DJ apologises for the interruption, cutting through the awkward silence as Tori bolts out the door.
XXXXXXXX
Stumbling through the night, Tori searches for a place of refuge. She needs to lie down, but she knows she won't last the long walk back to her house.
Concerned people pass by the drunken teenager, contemplating if they should help, but not caring enough to do anything- or maybe they're too scared, scared of risking their own evenings, their reputation. That's the problem: no-one takes the right risks these days. We regret not taking risks and opening the right doors that would've led us to greener pastures and glory, so instead we use that missed opportunity as fuel for something with real risk- with real consequences. Tori learned that the hard way that night, especially with what was going to go down in just a mere few hours.
Hours that counted down the turning point in her life. For Tori, nothing would be the same; for one, her everything would turn to nothing; for another... nothing would be.
Tori wandered down an alleyway, clutching onto the walls and bins as if she was scaling them. Reaching the end, she realised the alleyway had led her near a pub. At that point the several bottles of alcohol she filled her body with she brought back up.
Tori collapsed on the sharp, skin-piercing concrete- tears falling faster than she could keep up with. As if short on breath, a strangled-sounding cry escaped her hoarse throat. Knocking off the now damp mask she covered her face, sodden with running mascara mixed with the water gushing out of her eyes, appearing as if she was crying black tears.
To weak to move, Tori lay on the ground, sobs racking her body, matching the rapid movement of her racing heart.
"JADE!"
A voice cut through the darkness like a knife.
Tori turned her head to where the voice had come from.
A gun shot resounded. Tori shot up, gawping at the horrific scene in front of her. Her face turned a whole knew tint of white as she realised what had happened. She fell to the ground and tried to scream but no sound came from her mouth.
Though mute, she knew she had to call for help.
She scrambled around for her pearphone, and for an distressing moment she feared she'd forgotten it. The millisecond long wait for the operator to pick up made seemed agonisingly long to Tori.
"Hello, what service do you require?" The operator asked.
"Ambulance...police." Tori answered, literally forcing the words out of her mouth.
"Okay, where are you and what is your situation?"
"Uh- um, my friend... he- he's been sho- ot."
"Right, I'm sending someone right now. Just try to keep calm and tell me you're location please."
Tori frantically scanned the pub ahead of her for the sign.
"It's um- um The Black Carnat..."
Her voice trailed off as her eyes met with Beck's.
"Hello?"
The operator's voice faded away, as did everything around Tori- except Beck and Jade.
Remembering her mask was off, Tori's heart stopped.
Looking at her dying friend's limp eyes, she could tell he knew.
"Okay I need an ambulance and cops at The Black Carnation, now!"
Beck and Tori locked eyes for one torturing second. An inner pain she hadn't experienced before overtook her; a pain worse than when the alcohol deteriorated her insides, worse than seeing the devastation in Jade's radiant features, worse than feeling the guilt eat away at her.
"I'm sorry." She mouthed to her friend, who's head was tainted red.
His eyes turn back to his sobbing ex-girlfriend kneeling by his side.
"Beck! Don't worry! I'll call an ambulance!"
"No, babe, it's too late."
"No! NO! IT'S NOT TOO LATE!"
Not being able to look at the tragic scene any longer, Tori shut her eyes tight. What have I done? I got into this mess because I wanted to be a risk-taker, now I've hurt the guy who helped me to become more of one in the first place!
"Shhhh, shhh, It's okay."
Tori covers her ears and buries her head in the knees. She wants so bad to run over to Beck, to hug him, to tell him that she's sorry, to speak to him one last time; but she knows this is Beck and Jade's last moment. Jade's last moment to hug him, Jade's last moment to speak to him one last time.
Tori also knows she doesn't deserve a last moment with Beck.
She opens her eyes and uncovers her ears: his last moment is over.
-Present day-
Wind whipping her face, Tori stood in front of her punishment. She read her late friend's gravestone:
Beckett Oliver
1995-2012
Friend, Boyfriend, Son.
A tear trickled down her face when she read the word son. She envisioned the life Beck would've lived with Jade if she hadn't been so reckless; she imagined them having a son. She imagined herself having a son.
Tori, Aunt Cat, Uncle André, Uncle Robbie, and Aunt Jade would tell stories of the amazing young man his Uncle Beck was; of how he was a budding actor; grabbed the attention of all the girls; of how he stayed calm no matter what; of how he was a hero.
"But what happened to Uncle Beck, Mommy?" her son would ask.
Aunt Jade would abruptly leave the room and the innocent young boy would never question it.
Tori's face would fall. She'd glance over to her friends, who all have solemn expressions. Turning back to her son, she'd give him a sugar-coated answer; the truth that was also a lie. A little white lie to tell all their children- like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.
She'd tell him that he died a hero- but keep hidden what really happened. Then, after a brief moment of bliss, she'd remember that her friend's idea of what really happened, was different from hers.
She could never tell Jade the truth. It would break her- break her even more; until there was nothing left of her. Without Beck, Jade needed Tori, and she wasn't willing to sacrifice their emerging friendship just to get the guilt off her chest. The truth really does hurt. And she didn't want to hurt Jade- she thought she was the one who deserved to feel hurt.
Tori placed the mask down by Beck's gravestone.
"I am so sorry."
.
.
.
.
XXXXXXX
A/N: Bet ya didn't see that one coming. ;)
