A/n: Sorry for the long delay on this chapter! In my line of work this time of the year is terribly busy, and coupled with some personal issues it has left me with very little time to write. Hopefully, as of now i'll be able to get back to my more regular schedule and there will be no further delays for a while!


Chapter 4: Beginnings

The steady tone of the flat lined monitor filled the small hospital room, detached pads of the heart rate monitor hanging loosely at the bedside. Jin made his way to the small table at far end of the room and retrieved his clothes. Just as he began to lift his shirt from the table the familiar hiss of a mechanical door grabbed his attention.

"Code 003, you're awake!" Misa exclaimed as she entered the room. A worried expression crossed the caretaker's face as she cautiously approached. "You should be in bed."

"I'm fine. What happened?"

"Well, during the battle against the twin Gutenberg class, M3 was struck by the remaining klaxosaur. After M3 deactivated we could neither reach you or Code 260 and had ordered the remainder of the squad to finish the mission under the assumption that your team had been killed or disabled. A few minutes later your team's FranXX reactivated in stampede mode and made for the Gutenberg, eliminating both it and the remaining enemies who failed to flee." Misa railed off the information in a very 'matter of fact' manner before stopping, pursing her lips.

"Then what happened? What's the status of the remainder of Squad 75?"

"All of the parasites returned safely at the end of the mission and remain on stand by. Team Five was changed to inactive status after it's pilots were moved to the medical bay." She finished, averting he gaze as Jin's eyes widened ever so slightly before he began to press on.

"What do you mean 'pilots'? Asumi was relatively fine before I connected with M3, and any damage after the fact should have only been sustained by me."

"There was a separate event that led to Code 260's relocation. It had nothing to do with the battle."

"If that's the case it should be relatively unimportant news. So then why is it that you're not explaining it to me?" Jin asked as his concern continued to mount, briskly walking to meet the woman in the door way.

"Code 260 is currently undergoing an elected medical procedure and will return to active duty onc-"

Jin had cut her off, closing the distance to only a few feet as he spoke, desperation leaking into his voice.

"Where?"


Jin walked down the corridor at a rapid pace, nearly running, the words of the caretaker still reverberating in his ears; Elixir injection. An elixir injection? What could she possibly be thinking? They'd both lived and come out of the battle relatively unscathed as well, and yet his partner had gone and opted into such a life threatening procedure.

As he approached the nearby hospital room an attendee attempted to dissuade him at the door, however she made little effort to actually stop his progress.

"Code 003, the subject is best left alone right now. She is currently in the final stages of her proce-"

Sliding past the protesting medical staff member Jin reached out and activated the door panel. The metal door slid open, a soft and steady tone emanating from within. Quickly entering he took in his surroundings; Pure white walls and floor to match, monitors surrounding a nearby bed revealing a multitude of information, and upon that bed a girl. Her skin was pale and glistened with sweat under the harsh glare of the over head lights, her eyes sunken and lined with dark rims, and her once short brown hair had faded to a dull grey.

"You're an idiot." Jin chided, slowing his pace at the sight of his partner. He continued to her bed side, pulling up a stool with the toe of his shoe and dropping onto it.

"I- I can't really argue with that. I'm glad you're okay." Asumi responded with a weak smile, slowly opening her eyes as she turned to face her guest.

"What about you? You certainly don't look okay." Jin shook his head, sighing as he leaned against the bed post. "What were you thinking?"

"I'm not to sure anymore. I wanted to get stronger, but it doesn't seem like it helped at all really." She let out a soft, barely audible laugh, wincing in pain as she did so.

"You were fine as you were before. We lived up until now didn't we?"

"I know, but still..." Her words trailed off as she lied down flat once more, coughing gently in response to the exertion.

The pair sat in silence, only the sound of the heart rate monitors and hum of the lights remained. After a few more moments of the awkward stillness Jin felt a nudge against his finger tips. He glanced up once more to meet the gaze of his smiling partner. She lifted her hand and laced her fingers between his, Jin's heart falling at the cold sensation that had replaced the actions usual warmth.

"You never did tell me much about yourself. Do you think you could answer some questions for me since you're here?"

He nodded softly, as he slouched his shoulders. This was something he was used to, an interaction that held a painful familiarity, and one he'd rather not have to go through again.

"Good. We've been out of it for three days so I've had plenty of time to think about what I'd like to ask you!" Her breathing had grown more laboured however she maintained her joyful facade non the less. It was admirable, and one of the things he'd liked the most about her.

"How long have you really been piloting for? I know it's longer than normal parasites. Did you start early?"

"Roughly five years I think, it's hard to remember now. I started a lot earlier that other parasites do, when I was twelve years old was when I'd went on my first sortie."

"No wonder you're so used to this." She smiled again, tightening her grip on his hand a little more. "What about being leader? The others say you were offered the position but turned it down. Why?"

"I don't think I'm suited to be a leader. I'm more capable of fighting than anything else." Jin paused for a moment as he thought to himself. Twisting nervously in his seat he began again with a hesitation in his voice.

"I-... I don't think that If it came down to it I would be able to make the hard choices that a leader would need to make."

Asumi nodded thoughtfully before continuing, choosing not to press on the subject as her partner had seemed uncomfortable about the topic.

"Are you really from the Garden like us? Or are you some sort of super soldier like the nines?"

Jin laughed in response, placing his free hand a top their interlaced fingers, smiling sadly.

"No, I'm afraid I'm just like everyone else. A regular parasite, and nothing as exciting as a super soldier."

"Do you think you could tell me about who it is you want to see so badly? I'd really like to know about them if you don't mind."

As the words left her lips Jin winced, as though he'd been slapped in the face. The speed of the question had caught him off guard, and he had no reply to divert her curiosity.

"I can't." He finally responded, shaking his head slowly. When he'd looked back he'd found his partner to be smiling reassuringly, unphased by his refusal.

"I'd figured you wouldn't tell me, but I still wanted to ask. I really want to meet them someday! If they're your friend than I'm sure they're an amazing person."

Jin looked away, unable to meet her eyes as the conversation continued. The questioning had ventured into uncomfortable territory and he had no wish to inspire it to continue.

"When I found out you were going to be my partner, I was so exited." She began again, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Everyone admires you, and I was going to get the chance to stand beside you."

"When I first arrived and met everyone that excitement grew even more, until I could barely contain it, but when I first saw you it all fell away. Everyone else was like any other parasite I've ever met; Nervous, happy, confident, they all had one of the usual traits, but you were different. I'd never seen someone look so sad, so alone, and it made me want to be there for you."

"Asumi..."

"And the more I got to know you the more my feelings about piloting with you changed. You weren't just another stamen, you were like a great hero from a story book and it was clear you didn't really need a partner, you were strong enough to fight all by yourself. I still really wanted to be there for you, even if you didn't need me. I wanted to be better for you, even if it was the most difficult thing I'd ever have to do. More than anything, if you were the hero, I wanted to be your sword."

Jin unlaced their fingers, taking her hand between his, pressing it against his forehead as he stroked her palm with his thumbs. He twisted his eyes shut as he felt his frustration steadily growing, the knot in his stomach slowly tightening.

This isn't right.

You shouldn't be here right now

Why is this happening?

Why this again?...

Always this...

"It doesn't look like I'll be able to be with you anymore though..." Her smile quivered as soft sobs began to force their way through, her thin veil falling apart. "Do you think it'll hurt when it's over?"

"No, I'm sure it'll be peaceful." He replied, eyes fixed firmly upon the floor, gripping her hand tighter.

"Will you remember me like the others? Will you still think about me?"

"Of course, I would never forget you. You're my partner, and I'll always remember when you were." He winced as her sobbing increased in volume. Her hand began shaking in his grip as he held it to his lips, feeling the icy chill of her skin against his own.

"I'm scared Jin... I don't want to go yet."

"I-... I'm sorry." He answered, finally raising his gaze to meet hers. Her brilliant green eyes pooled with tears, her lips quivering as she fought through the pain that racked her body as she wept, her chest slowly rising and falling as the monitor sounded the slowed pace of her heart in the background.

She gasped once more as a choking sob caught in her throat, her hand falling limp between his. Slowly, the beautiful colour of his partner's eyes faded away, her chest falling still, and the monitors singing loudly the tone he'd heard from his own room not long ago.

As medical staff slowly filed into the room and began reviewing the readings upon the screens, Jin remained at her side, hand still held in his own, eyes fixed on hers though she no longer returned his gaze. They were now no more than mirrors that reflected his image, serving only to drive home the new reality: Once more, he was alone.

Always this...


The sound of heels on wooden floor boards echoed throughout the boarding house, signalling the departure of the disheartened caretaker. The members of squad 75 sat in stunned silence as the result of the briefing they'd just received. They'd known about Asumi's condition but never wanted to believe that it could ever get the best of her, and yet despite their hope it had happened anyways. She was dead, it just didn't seem real.

The quiet was all encompassing, only disturbed by the soft sobbing of Team Two, as tears had begun to form in every members eyes. All except for one.

"He's really not here. Unbelievable." Gen scoffed, wiping his tears away as he stood.

"You heard Misa, he's only just woken up." Kana protested as she rose to her feet as well.

"Please, you know as well as I do that Jin already knows, and yet he's probably off skulking around in the woods instead of here with his squad mates. I bet he doesn't even care that his partner, our friend, is dead!"

"We don't know that Gen, we haven't even spoken to him yet." Daisuke added, shaking his head sadly.

"Yea, well then let's go talk to him." Gen hissed as he stormed out of the room.

After a moment of hesitation the remainder of the squad jogged after their leader, exiting the boarding house. The group began into the woods following at Gen's heels as he stomped off towards the edge of the birdcage, fists clenched so tightly that his nails dug into the palms of his hands. After a while a distant sound broke the silence of the forest, a soft clacking of stone against stone echoing between the trees. As the group breached the treeline they found themselves in a small clearing, and the source of the noise had become clear.

Near to the far side of the clearing sat the black clad parasite, slumped on his knees before a collection of small stone mounds. To his side sat and assortment of small rocks that he had been using to construct a new, twenty-fifth pile, directly at the center of the array.

"You know Asumi's dead, don't you?" Gen called out, receiving no acknowledgement of his words.

"Your partner, she's gone, and she's never going to come back. Does that mean anything to you?!" He continued, pressing forward as he clenched his teeth. Still no response.

"She's dead and gone and here you are fooling around, not a damn care in the world!" Gen screamed, swinging his clenched fist with all of his might.

With a sharp crack it connected with the back of Jin's head, throwing him to the ground and toppling a number of nearby piles. Gen reached down and grabbed his shoulder, rolling him over onto his back and threw a number of punches directly into his face, pummelling him over and over again. Their squad mates could only look on in disbelief as the scene unfolded, it all seemed like a dream. Asumi was gone, and now their squad leader was assaulting their best pilot, it couldn't be real.

As Gen continued, his temper flared higher, Jin had made no attempt to fight back or defend himself, he hadn't even raised his arms. Just as another hit was about to make contact Gen was hauled backwards, Daisuke and Hiraki restraining him as he fought against them.

"Do something! How can you just sit there! Don't you feel anything?!" Gen shouted at the top of his lungs, tears streaming from his eyes as he received no response yet again. Jin merely laid flat against the ground, staring distantly towards the sky as blood streamed down his battered face and formed small pools on the grass beside his cheeks.

Jerking his arms free of his two squad mates Gen stood, panting heavily as he took one last look towards Jin, hissing out his final words before turning to leave.

"It should have been you. In fact, you should have been gone long before we ever arrived. You should have never been a member of our squad."

As Gen marched off towards the boarding house the remainder of the squad followed slowly behind, heads hung low. Kana however stayed for a moment to be sure that her fellow squad mate was alright. A small smile broke her face as he rolled onto his side and drug himself onto his hands and knees. However, it was wiped away moments later as she watched him crawl to the first of the small stone monuments, and with shaking hands, began rebuilding.


The squad had taken their seats in the lounge once more, the recent events still weighing heavily on everyone's minds. Gen hadn't returned with them, instead choosing to return to his room, while Kana had followed to be sure he was okay.

"I knew things were difficult between those two, but I never thought any thing like this would happen." Daisuke spoke up, rubbing his forehead wearily.

"I don't like what Gen did, but he did have a point. I mean you saw his face, Jin really didn't seem to care about Asumi after all." Kazuo sighed, tears still clung to the corner of his eyes as he wiped his glasses clean.

Just as the words left the young parasites mouth the sound of the front door creaking closed silenced the groups conversation. Footsteps echoed throughout the house as someone climbed the stairs to the second floor. Daisuke stood, starting towards the entrance to the lounge just as Jin stepped into view, making towards the boys dorms. His face was covered in dried blood, the beginnings of multiple bruises showing on his face, and yet he held no expression, his eyes cold and hard as he paid the group no mind.

"Hey. Are you alright?" Daisuke began, stepping out to intercept his roommate.

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. You should get cleaned up, and we should get someone to take a look at your face."

"It's nothing. Can I go now?" Jin slid past, continuing down the hallway.

"This wasn't your fault Jin." Jin stopped in his tracks at the words, tensing his jaw in frustration as Daisuke continued. "You did everything you could, we know that."

"That's the point!" Jin screamed as he turned to face his squad mates.

The group winced at the sound. None of them had ever heard him raise his voice since any of them had arrived, not once. The sound shook them all, they hadn't expected Jin to react at all, let alone with this mixture of pain, exhaustion and anger.

"I did everything right, there wasn't anything I could have done better. I fought as hard as I could to keep everyone alive, when Asumi couldn't fight anymore I continued so she wouldn't have to. I took the risks because if not, everyone would have likely died. There were no mistakes, no errors, no slip ups, and she died anyways! Is that supposed to make me feel any better?!"

"She only did what she did because she wanted to be a better pilot. A better partner for you! It was her choice!" Mai sobbed, hunching over as Hiraki rested a hand on her shoulder.

"She was fine the way she was. We succeeded during every single mission with little to no real risk. I was fine and she was a perfectly capable pistil, there was no point to this! There was no reason to gamble her life on something so stupid!"

"You don't understand Jin, she just wanted to keep up with you! She didn't want to have you carry her through every mission she wanted to help you! She took the harder path because she wanted that so badly, she was suffering the way things were and she just didn't want to live with that pain anymore!" Aki protested, moving to stand at Daisuke's side.

"Life is pain!" Jin shouted. If any of the others had planned to continue their debating they had been dissuaded from doing so, not just by the statement, but the look of utter exhaustion on the speakers face that accompanied it as well.

"Every single morning I wake up in pain! I eat, sleep, fight and breathe in pain! Do you have any idea how many times I've wanted to just give up? How many times I've thought about ending it instead?!"

Jin panted heavily, hanging his head upon finishing. The group merely sat, staring at their teammate in stunned silence, dumbfounded by his words. Minutes before they had thought him uncaring and calloused, but it had seemed he was taking it the hardest of all of them in his own way, that had become clear to each and every one of them.

"But what would any of you know about that?..." He began again, regaining his frigid posture, though his eyes bore a heated look of disdain behind them.

"To most of you this is a shock, something that's completely unexpected, a whole new experience. You've never had a squad member die before, let alone see one die in front of you. I've seen it, lots of times, a lot more than any of you will ever have to experience. None of you are particularly strong, not like me, so you'll never know what it's like to be alone in a fight, surrounded by the broken bodies of your squad mates who fought with you only moments before. None of you will ever know what it's like to experience all that, to gain and lose, only to gain and then lose again."

"The people around you will be the squad you live with, and more than likely the squad you die with, but not me. You'll die and I'll survive, then you'll be replaced, and it'll all just happen again with the next squad too. Kazuo, before, after your first sortie with our squad you said that one day you'd all have lived as long as I have right?"

The younger parasite nodded his head with great trepidation, barely meeting Jin's gaze as he continued to speak.

"I hope you don't. I hope you die long before that, because it would be for the best. Because of the amount of time I've lived I've changed, I can't relate to the people around me anymore and they view me as an outsider because of it. For a long time I've been alone, it's a feeling you wouldn't understand yet but if you live as long as you hope to you'll find out; What it's like to stand in a room, surrounded by people, and in that moment feel more alone than you ever have before. That's what you'd have to look forward to, no one will understand you, no one will be there for you, at least not really, and everyone but you will die. If you live long enough, the only thing you have left is the certainty that you'll end up alone."

Finishing his speech, Jin sighed and relaxed his posture, running his fingers through his hair before shaking his head. Before any of the squad had a chance to speak he turned, leaving them to hang on the thoughts he'd instilled in them. As he left no one spoke, no one moved, they never even looked up from the floor.


The squad sat awkwardly along side their respective teammates, no one having the courage to approach Jin who sat alone near the rear of the room. The briefing had been called first thing in the morning just after breakfast, though it could have easily come before. No one really had much of an appetite, and after last night it was easily understandable. It seemed like they wouldn't be deployed today, which was likely for the best, none of them really had a proper nights sleep. Jin's condition was an oddity however, he seemed relatively composed and alert, only the dark circles beneath his eyes revealed that his night had been spent wide awake.

"As you are all well aware, yesterday afternoon, Code 260 passed away due to incompatibility with the elixir procedure." Commander Ryuta began, cutting the rooms tension with his calloused tone.

"As a result, Team Five will be replaced, this will likely happen within the week. After the new members arrive your squad will be permitted to sortie once again. Until then you will be on standby, serving only as a defensive unit for the plantation."

Kana raised her hand, a look of concern upon her face. After a nod of recognition from the commander she began her questioning.

"What do you mean by 'members'? Team Five's stamen is still alive, are we adding another team to the squad?"

"No, Team Five will be replaced in a pair as Code 003 has been reassigned. He will be leaving at the end of the day."

The squad all lurched at the final words, staring towards the commander in mild shock. Just as commander Ryuta was set to continue, a voice cut him off, calling out from the back of the room.

"Where?" Jin questioned, eyes narrowing as he held his gaze with the commanders expressionless eyes.

"A plantation in the rear guard, it houses a newly formed test team. You, along with the M3 unit will be transported the evening and arrive roughl-"

"Why?" He stood, struggling to maintain proper etiquette throughout the line of questioning.

"I've lost partners before, I managed after the first, I can manage after the fourth. Send another pistil, I can still fight just fine."

"I'm afraid it's already been decided. This isn't up for debate Code 003."

"I'm more use here than I am anywhere else, so why am I being sent away to the rear?" He sighed, stepping into the walkway between the benches leading to the front of the room.

Before the conversation could continue however a small tone sounded from the center console, drawing the commanders attention. Quickly moving to review the alert the commander scanned its contents, closing the message and readdressing the group as a whole.

"Squad 75, you are dismissed. Code 003, you'll remain here."

As the occupants of the room filed out of the room, Jin held his position, staring directly at the as he left as well. None of his squad turned to spare him a glance as they left, no one could bring themselves to.

After a brief hiss signalled the sealing of the door Jin turned his gaze towards the central monitor, as he became aware of the familiarity of the situation. Just then, the monitors came to life, and Papa was starring back at him.

"Code 003, It appears you've had a less than favourable encounter. Are you alright?" Papa gestured towards him, clearly referring to the wounds on his face. The mask of concern was unnerving, but Jin pushed such thoughts to the back of his mind as he replied.

"It was just a fall, nothing more than an accident. I'm fine Papa."

"I see. I understand your displeasure at your reassignment, but I assure you that it is in the best interest of humanity."

"I'm afraid I don't understand, how could taking me away from the fight be of use Papa?"

"True to your wish we have allowed you to live on the front lines for a number of years, and just as you had hoped you have progressed exponentially. Even now I would argue that there isn't a pilot that can stand shoulder to shoulder with you, however, do to that fact you can no longer continue on with this way of life."

With a flick of his wrist, a display lit up at Papa's side, showing a multitude of different information, from battle statistics to replays of past engagements that M3 has taken part in.

"You have become the pilot you'd wanted to be, now it is time for you to step back. We have a plan that will require your abilities in order to succeed. No matter how capable you are now there is always a chance that you will suffer sever damage or perish in combat before the time for this mission to begin has arrived, by moving you to a low threat area this risk is lowered substantially. Additionally, this plantation is the site of a new test team as you are aware, under the supervision of Doctor Franxx. These parasites will be acting in a very similar situation to yourself with substantially lowered regimentation, you would serve as an excellent template for them. You will be added to this teams roster as a substitution, filling in only when the situation calls for such an action, or an injury leaves you with no other stamen to pilot." Papa finished, folding his hands before him.

"I see. Thank you for explaining, Papa." Jin spoke softly as he lowered his head in defeat.

"There is no need to despair my child, this is all a means to an end, and your efforts will not go unrewarded. When the time comes, you will see your partner again."

Jin's gaze never left the floor as the monitor faded, leaving him alone in the briefing room. He couldn't have moved even if he'd wanted to; Those words, that reassurance, had left him paralyzed from the anticipation.


Jin walked steadily behind the two black clad men in front of him who carried the remainder of his belongings, his heavy watch coat draped lazily over his shoulders. The members of Squad 75 waited just outside of the boarding house, watching intently as the procession carried on down the walk way towards the elevator.

"What will we do now? Without him, we're as good as dead..." Kazuo cried, sniffling into his hands as Daisuke rested his hand on his back reassuringly, though he couldn't manage to say anything in that moment.

As the group passed by the squad, Kana stepped out to meet them, intercepting Jin. She smiled softly as she opened her mouth to speak, hesitating as the words seemed to catch in her throat. After a moment she seemed to regain a fraction of her composure, sighing softly before speaking.

"I'm sorry Gen wasn't here, but you know how he is..." As the words left her voice seemed as though it failed her, tears beginning to stream down her face as he sturdy facade began to crumble away, the weight of the past two days finally becoming to much to bear.

She stepped forward, wrapping her arms tightly around him, burying her head in his shoulder as she began to weep softly, shaking her head as she began again.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I wish I could have done more for you while you were here, before you had to-"

"There's nothing you can do for me Kana, there was nothing you could have ever done." Jin spoke deliberately, turning towards the others as she released him, stepping back slightly with her head lowered.

"But them, they need you, and you can be there for them just like you always have. You've always been a terrific leader for your squad, I was just never really a part of it." She looked up to him smiling back at her, a n expression that never reached his cold, hollow stare.

As he stepped around her, she turned to watch along with her squad, as the famous stamen of Team Five, Code 003, walked away, never once turning to look back.


As he approached the carrier, Jin took note of the black mech sat holding its knees being loaded into the hold, turning away as thoughts of its last sortie attempted to creep their way into his mind. At the foot of the walk way boarding the ship stood the purple haired caretaker, waiting for him to arrive.

Boarding the ship, Misa followed closely at his side, reaffirming information with the crew of the ship as the walked towards the cabin of the aircraft. Jin took his seat near to the front of the plane, sliding up to the wall to stare out the window. Misa took her seat beside him, referring to a data tablet as she began briefing him on the information about his new home, though at this point he'd already become lost in his own thoughts, memories of his past flooding his mind.


Jin sat at the edge of the FranXX's lowered face plate, smiling as he stared out towards the endless expanse before them, the sun slowly falling behind the skyline casting a brilliant red glow across the sky.

"We'll be together forever won't we?" The girl behind him questioned, moving to take a seat at his side just out of his view.

"Well, together until the end at least!" he responded with a smile.

"Why does it have to end? I don't want it to ever have to end, not like the last time..."

"It's just the way things are. Everything ends eventually, and it's always going to be sad." He replied. At his words the girl grew sombre, lowering her head as she began to fidget uncomfortably. He rested a hand on her head, gently stroking her hair causing her to relax in a moment, before speaking again.

"But everything begins again, and I think that'll always be happy!"