Thank you so much to the lovely people who took the time to review! Here's chapter 4. I really hope you enjoy it. Again, any feedback (good or bad) would be very much appreciated!

Chapter 4

Present Day…

i.

Kyle cradled his baby boy in his arms, smiling down at his fragile little face, with love and affection shining in his eyes. He'd never felt so much love for anyone in his life. His heart actually hurt just to look at him. It genuinely ached. He was red and wrinkly, and he'd been born with a funny little head of spiky dark hair, but as he looked at his tiny little hands and his perfect little finger nails, he thought he'd never seen anything so beautiful in his life.

Glancing down at Tamara who was snoozing softly now, and looked absolutely exhausted, he felt his heart swell with overwhelming love for his little family. He'd never thought that this day would come. That he, Kyle Braxton, would actually have a family to call his own was nothing short of amazing, especially when he thought of where he'd come from. To have people who belonged to him, who needed him, and loved him, had seemed far beyond the realms of possibility for such a large part of his life. He hadn't even dared hope for it.

He wasn't sure he had a right to this life. For as long as he could remember there had been a nagging doubt at the back of his mind, surfacing again and again, any time that he even approached a feeling of contentment. There was a voice somewhere deep inside him, that told him he was utterly worthless, and that he didn't really deserve this kind of happiness.

That feeling of worthlessness had been with him his whole life. It never really went away.

But looking at his baby lying sleeping in his arms, and resting now against his chest, he did his best to push those thoughts away. He wasn't going to allow anything to ruin this moment for him, not even his own insecurities. He was so happy that he thought he might burst.

"Hello, Noah, I'm your daddy" he said, as he gently kissed the top of the baby's head, "I'm never going to let anything bad happen to you… Not ever… I promise you that".

Tamara had gone into labour while Kyle was at work. She'd been watching Dirty Dancing and having a girly day with Evie when her waters had suddenly broken. They hadn't even got to the 'I carried a watermelon' part of the movie.

Evie had been telling her about Oscar's latest attempt to woo some girl at the surf club, and Tamara had laughed so hard, that she actually thought that she'd wet herself. It was only when the first contraction came that she realised what was happening. Evie had raised the alarm, and Kyle had made it home, flapping about the place within about half an hour.

Tamara had never seen him in such a panic, he was normally so level headed. It had all happened so very quickly, especially for a first baby, and it had been very clear that the baby was in a big rush to get here. They'd only just managed to make it in the doors of the hospital. If they'd even been twenty minutes later, he might have had to pull over and deliver him by the roadside.

They'd both been told stories of women being in labour for days, especially with a first pregnancy, so they'd thought they would have a bit more time. They'd imagined lengthy waits in the maternity wards, waiting for her to dilate, and even that she might need to be induced if the baby didn't come of his own accord. Tamara had also wanted an epidural and talked it through with her obstetrician. They'd had a birth plan all worked out with clear directives on what they wanted and what they didn't want. They'd had bags all packed and ready, complete with snacks, and things to keep them occupied if it was taking a long time and they were bored.

But things certainly hadn't worked out the way they'd planned! They'd ended up forgetting the bags in the panic to get her there in time, and the fact that it had all been such a rush had meant that Tamara had had to do it drug free.

They were both feeling a little shell-shocked. But Noah was here, safe and healthy, and that was all that mattered now.

Kyle sat in the chair beside his wife's bed, holding their baby in his arms, and gave a heavy sigh of happiness and relief. He reached over and took hold of Tamara's hand. She stirred a little, opening her eyes for a moment and gave him a little smile. She looked tired, and very dishevelled, but he thought that she'd never looked more beautiful.

"I love you Mrs Braxton" he said, smiling from ear to ear. He lifted Noah's tiny little fist and waved it gently at her. "I love you mummy" he said in a tiny baby voice.

She smiled back at them in a tired way and closed her eyes again. "Love you too" she murmured.

Looking back at baby Noah's peaceful little face, he suddenly realised that he was crying. Tears were flooding down his face and he didn't really know why. He just felt overwhelmed with emotion.

He looked at his beautiful wife, dozing in the bed, and his gorgeous little baby boy nestled in his arms, and wondered how he'd got here. How had Kyle Braxton managed to achieve all this?

He felt immensely proud. But there was a nervous feeling clawing at his stomach, and it wouldn't go away. It was making him feel a little sick.

He knew that he had the most precious thing in the world now, and that it was finally in his grasp, but the thought that he might lose it all again absolutely terrified him. What if someone just came and took them from him? What would he do then?

He'd learnt from experience that things and people could be taken away from him just when he needed them the most. People had been taking things from him his whole life.

It was safer to have nothing. If you have nothing, then they can't take it from you.

ii.

"Hey guys!" exclaimed Tamara, as Evie and Josh walked through the door bearing gifts, "Have you come to meet Noah?"

Evie beamed at Tamara, as she sat down on the couch beside her and gazed at the tiny bundle in her friend's arms. "Oh my god, Tam, he's just gorgeous!" she squealed. "Look at his tiny little fingernails! Oh, my god, I could just eat him!"

Josh felt his way around the arm of the couch and plonked himself down in one of the armchairs. "Don't you think there's something kinda weird about that?" he laughed, "The way women always say stuff like that? I mean, you're threatening cannibalism… that's just all kinds of weird!"

"I guess" said Evie, rolling her eyes at Tamara in an exaggerated way. "But seriously… Just look at these little fingeys…" She took his little hand and put it up to her mouth making 'nom nom nom' noises and pretending to eat it. "He's just beautiful, Tam!"

"Do you want a hold?" asked Tamara, smiling at Evie.

Evie squealed and held her hands out, carefully taking the tiny little body in her hands. She placed him against her chest so his head was nestled in against her neck and rocked him gently back and forth. "Oh, that new baby smell!" she giggled.

Josh smiled and shook his head. He was amazed and a little nervous at how broody Evie got around babies. Of course, he was pleased for Kyle and Tamara, and he knew how excited they both were about being parents, but it was hard for him to imagine being a dad himself one day. Not now that he was blind. It wasn't that he didn't want kids. He really did. It was just that being blind had placed so many limitations on his life now and thrown up so many obstacles. He worried that he wouldn't get to be a dad because of it, or if he did, that he'd be useless. He wondered how it would even work?! Would he be able to help Evie to look after the baby if he couldn't see? Would he be able to change nappies and help with the feeds? He hadn't talked to Evie about it, but now that they were talking about getting married and settling down, it was something that was often on his mind.

He picked up the gift bag and held it out in Tamara's direction. "We got you a few things for Noah." he said, "I'm really pleased for you both, by the way."

Thanks guys, that's really kind of you both!" said Tamara, as she took the bag. She turned and smiled at Evie who was totally in her element nursing the baby, and said, "Do you guys want to stay for dinner? Kyle is just getting us some pizza, I can text him and tell him to bring a couple more?"

"Are you sure you don't… I don't know… need a rest?" asked Evie, looking a little concerned. "We wouldn't want to push in if you're still trying to get this one into a routine."

Tamara frowned at her in a mocking kind of way, "Evie, I'm suggesting a few slices of pizza, not an all-night party!"

iii.

"Look who I ran into at Angelo's" said Kyle, as he opened the front door. "I brought them back so they could meet the little man!" He smiled at Evie who was still nursing Noah in her arms and then looked at Tamara to make sure that she was okay with unexpected visitors. She smiled at him, and peered past him to see who was at the door.

"I just couldn't wait to meet him!" said Phoebe, skipping into the living-room, and leaving Ash to carry the stack of pizzas they'd brought for dinner. She perched on the arm at the end of the couch beside Evie, and put her feet on the seat. "Noah is such a lovely name!" she said, tilting her head at the tiny baby in Evie's arms. "He's such a little cutie, isn't he?"

Ash carried a huge stack of pizzas over to the dining table and turned to look at the baby. "He's a sturdy little fella, isn't he?!" said Ash, "What weight is he?"

"Oh, I think someone might need a change!" said Evie, screwing her nose up at the smell, and looking around for someone to take him from her.

Kyle walked over with a huge smile on his face and carefully lifted the baby out of Evie's arms. He cradled him gently against his chest. "He was 4.4Kgs!" he said, "…and whoo, yeah, I think someone definitely does need a change!" He carried him over to the changing mat and knelt down, busily starting to get all the bits and pieces he needed out of the changing bag.

All the girls turned to look at Kyle, and watched admiringly as he expertly changed the baby's tiny nappy. He'd had plenty of practice with Casey so this was nothing new. "He's so good at that, isn't he?" said Phoebe, giving Kyle a wink when he glanced at her over his shoulder.

Ash glanced at Phoebe, wondering if she'd still choose Kyle over him as father material. What if she did want to have kids some day? Would she always think he'd be rubbish as a dad?

Tamara watched as her husband gently dressed the baby again and lifted his little body carefully back into his arms. "Thanks babe…" she said, looking up at him as he passed Noah back to her. "I'm just so tired."

He caressed the side of her face and bent down to kiss her. "You did the hard work, Tam… Love you!"

"Should I get some plates or what?" asked Ash, looking at the stack of pizzas that were getting cold.

Ash wasn't really sure what he was doing there. He and Phoebe were supposed to be getting pizzas and going home for a quiet night in, but then they'd run into Kyle, and Phoebe had jumped on the invitation to come see the baby. He felt a bit uncomfortable now that he was here. All the baby paraphernalia everywhere was making the place very cramped, and he was trying his best not to look at the breast pump and the packet of breast pads lying in plain view on the dining table, sitting beside the pizzas. The thought of it made him feel a bit queasy for some reason. He didn't have much interest in babies either so he really hadn't wanted to come meet the newest Braxton. New-borns gave him the creeps a little bit with their wrinkly skin and their floppy necks. He knew that was weird but he couldn't help how he felt.

"Yeah, thanks Ash. You know where they are!" shouted Kyle as he tidied up the changing mat and went to put the dirty nappy in the bin.

"How's fatherhood treating you so far?" asked Josh, scanning the room as he talked. He was trying to hear where Kyle had gone. "Is he keeping you awake at night?"

Kyle came back over and sat on the arm of Josh's chair. "Yeah, it's great Josh… Really… He's sleeping pretty well so far but he's only a couple of days old… we'll see what he's like in a few weeks I guess."

iv.

Kyle finished washing the last of the plates and placed them in the drainer. He dried his hands and turned to look back at Tamara who was sitting in the living-room. She was breastfeeding Noah and flicking through the channels on the TV with the sound turned down low. He leaned against the wall and watched them together, thinking how beautiful this little scene was, his wife and his tiny new-born baby cuddling together on his couch. He wished that he could take a picture of this and go back in time to show it to his childhood self, to let him know that there was hope, and that there was a future worth hanging on for. He still couldn't quite believe this was real.

He made them both a cup of tea, and carried the cups over to the couch, setting them down on the coffee table and sliding into the seat beside her. He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her in beside him with a big smile on his face.

"God, I'm glad they're gone!" he said, with a big sigh. "Just the three of us now… exactly how it should be."

She turned to look at him and smirked at him, "You're the one that invited half the town for a pizza party!"

"You invited Josh and Evie!" he said, looking down at Noah's little face as he suckled hungrily. "Anyway, it got it out of the way for a day or two! We can have him to ourselves for a little while!"

She leaned over with a huge smile and kissed him. "It was nice to see everyone… but god I'm tired!" she said, with a heavy sigh. "All I want to do is sit here and veg. I don't think I have the energy for anything else."

"That's why you're going to put your feet up and let me look after you… both of you" he said, kissing her on the forehead, and then planting a light kiss on the top of Noah's head. "I love you both so much."

He let out a happy sigh, as he sat back with his arm around Tamara, and she leant her head against his shoulder. He lifted the remote control and began to flick through the channels. Suddenly his heart gave a terrible jump as something caught his eye on the evening news. He was frozen to the spot with his heart thumping in his chest, and he felt like someone had just kicked him in the stomach. He turned the volume up, trying to hide his shaking hand from Tamara, and an icy chill ran down his spine.

"Exhumations continue at the Hames family home. Residents say they are shocked by these gruesome discoveries. They say that Mr and Mrs Hames had been seen as pillars of the community for many years, and that they were known for their generosity and kindness. Police are still working on identifying the bodies, and details will be released as they come in. Police released a statement a few hours ago, saying that four bodies have been recovered so far. They are those of children ranging from approximately 8 to 14 years old but the number of dead looks set to climb. Police are still appealing for any individuals who may have been fostered by the Hames' to come forward and speak to the police urgently. The question on everyone's lips is this: despite heavy involvement of DoCS for nearly 20 years, how was this allowed to happen?"