It was time. Time to make the decision that will affect the rest of my life. Time to make the decision to either stay loyal to my family, or be brave and follow my heart. For once.
I'm not ready. Not in the slightest bit. I haven't had enough thinking time, I haven't pondered over the idea of actually settling to follow my heart. I'm still overcome with a wild nervousness, the kind that I never get. I am never nervous, unless there is some sort of life changing decision on the line. And, there is. I can't choose wrong, not now.
My mother told me that everything would be alright before we left the house for the choosing ceremony. She said that all I had to do was pick Amity, and I could have that dream life here in this peaceful land like I have always wanted. Yah, because I've always wanted that.
Yah, right.
Bonnie had told me to follow my heart, and I want to listen to her. But, the problem is that I don't know how. Don't know how to leave my mom like that, leave her with faith that I would be with her for the rest of our lives. I can't leave her. I guess that, that is where my Abnegation aptitude kicks in.
All I know is that I will make a choice. Whatever, the outcome, I'll have to live with it. Put on an unemotional mask, so that nobody knows my regret. And, now, sitting in the seats, watching as people get called up to choose their faction, it all feels real. Real as it can get. The choosing ceremony takes place in the Hub, and on my way up, the elevators were so cramped, that I grew sick. And, now that sick feeling still clung to me. Bonnie stands next to me, close enough that our shoulders touch. I am grateful that my mom washed my red sweater so I could wear it today. Without it, I know I'd be lost.
A woman makes her way to the center of the cement stage, where a oak wooden podium stands. She is very tall, dressed in a navy blue skirt and blazer. Her high black heels click against the stage, echoing in the large room. She clears her throat into the microphone and smoothed her long hair away from her face.
The first one to be called is Mya Mobbey, another Amity. She used to be my friend, but then she turned evil. She chooses Erudite instead of Amity. She is the first one to switch. More names are called, and then a guy from Amity, named Luis, switches to Candor. Another switch. No Abnegation have switched, and that is pretty explanatory. Stiffs don't switch.
Stiffs are the other factions slang name for the Abnegation. I guess I don't really know why we call them that, but I have grown up by that. Some old habits just don't change.
The woman calls out another name, "Bonnie Karton." She says. Bonnie makes her way up the old cement stairs in front of the podium, where five bowls filled with steaming coals sit. Fire blazes in each, while Bonnie is handed a sharp knife. She slits her wrist and let's the blood ooze out of it for a moment. The flames grow higher in the Erudite and Amity bowls, signifying her decisions. With one quick thrust, her hand pushes over the Erudite bowl, and her blood drops into the coals. The fire burns higher, her blood is on the coals.
A collective cheer arises from the Erudite section of the crowd. Bonnie slowly makes her way towards them, she glances toward me, and I flash her a reassuring smile. She nods, but her eyes are telling me something else. They are telling me, giving me the option of choosing different. Different from what anyone tells me. They are telling me to follow my heart, no matter what happens. I look down at my feet. I'm choosing Amity. I have already made the decision. Haven't I?
The woman at the podium smiles and then reads of the next name, "Austin Jeremo!"
Austin makes his way up the cement chairs. He looks confident, more confident than anyone else who has been up there. More confident than me. His noticeable liquid blue eyes focus on the bowls. The flames of Abnegation and Dauntless burn higher. He is from Dauntless, though. I can tell.
He takes the knife and cuts a slit in his wrist. With one quick movement, his blood drops into the Dauntless bowl. He looks to be proud of his decision as he walks back to the group of Dauntless that are cheering for him.
"Sadie Dareton!" The voice calls, catching me off guard. My legs are shaky as I slip out of my seat and make my way toward the bowls. I avoid my mothers piercing eyes, but can tell she is looking at me. The woman hands me a knife as long as my forearm, and gives me a reassuring smile. The weight of the knife feels different in my arms, but something makes me enjoy it. I slit my wrist without a flinch, and stare at the bowls. The Amity and Dauntless flames lick higher. I look between the two. I feel like my body is empty, just filled with swirling wisps of air. I thrust my arm forward, and close my eyes. I don't see which bowl my blood drops into, but I hear a few gasps from the crowd.
"Sadie, No!" I hear someone yell above the gasps.
The voice belongs to my mother.
