AN:
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Bella's POV

I was shaken awake. Gently, but purposefully. I opened my eyes unwillingly.

"Bella?" I looked into Jacob's smooth face, which was only inches from mine. It took me a second to remember that I was in Jacob's car, Jacob and I had kissed, and that there was a vampire at my house.

Victoria!

I sat up abruptly. Jacob flinched back, almost knocking faces with me.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, fear flooding into me.

Jake smiled. "Yeah, it's fine. Victoria wasn't there. We couldn't find her, but your house is safe."

"Charlie?" I asked. He sighed.

"He's still at the Clearwater's, don't worry."

My fear was replaced with sadness. What an awful array of emotions.

"What should I do?" I asked, and not particularly to Jacob. Just to the world.

"Why don't you stay here?" He said. "Charlie can too. I'll call him. We'll make sure they eat, and then you and Charlie can drive home…with a canine escort, of course."

My lips twitched at the feeble joke. "Okay. Let's go in."

"Hold on," He said. I looked back at him, and he lifted his hand and touched it to my cheek. It ran down to my chin, leaving warmth behind. "Before we see our parents…"

He leaned towards me and I gave up. Why fight this? I had chosen it. I was tired and I didn't want to argue. I should have said, 'Now is not the time to do this, Jacob. Our grieving fathers are waiting for us and I only just made the decision to go through with this.'

But kissing him was actually pretty nice, and I wasn't in the mood to fight. Jacob would just have to learn timing. Edward never would have kissed me at a time like this-

Edward. I gasped, and my chest flared in pain. Jake pulled back, looking concerned. I mentally chastised myself-how could I be so stupid? Thinking about him, saying his name? I had been doing so well, I had chosen Jacob!

My arms had unconsciously gone around my torso, and Jacob recognized what was going on. He put his arm around me. "Come on," he said. He helped me out of the car. Once I got my breathing steady and pried my arms off of my chest we began walking. Jake muttered something that sounded like, "Knew I was right."

"What?" I asked.

"Nothin'." He replied. We went into the little house.

Billy must have retreated to his room, because the living room and kitchen were empty. I opened the Black's cabinets.

"You guys don't cook much, huh?"

Jacob shrugged and grinned.

I pulled out a can of black beans and opened the fridge to search for lettuce and tortillas.

"Mexican sound good?" I asked Jacob.

He shrugged. "I don't care, as long as there's plenty for me to eat."

"There's not enough food in this house to keep you full," I joked. Jacob laughed, even though it wasn't very amusing. I smiled and looked for an onion.

We talked aimlessly for a few minutes as I gathered food. Jacob called the Clearwater's and got hold of Charlie, telling him to come over to the Black's when he could. I found a pot to make the beans in.

"So Victoria had left before you guys got to the house?" I asked. Jacob's face took on an expression of stoniness.

"Yeah," He said. "She probably ran off after the two of us left. It makes sense-if she knew I was around she wouldn't want to hang out and wait for us to find her."

There seemed to be something weird about Jacob's story, and the whole pretense he took when telling it.

"Well, where did she go?" I asked him.

"Took off to the north. The trail wasn't too fresh though-she must have left right after we were there. Jared and Paul are following it."

I sighed. "Isn't that dangerous? Just the two of them?"

Jacob scoffed. "Look, Bells, Sam has everything under control. No bloodsucker will get the better of us."

I winced. "Don't call them that."

"Why not? They're leeches."

"Jacob, they're not all bad. Some of them…"

I stepped back from the stove where the beans were cooking. Leaning against the counter, I tried to start breathing normally again. Jacob came next to me and pulled me into a hug.

"Hey," he said. "Chill out. I'm sorry."

Somehow, inexplicably, Jacob's warm body fought off the pain in my chest. The hole shrank, if just an immeasurable bit.

I looked up at Jacob, grateful. I couldn't believe that he had that much power against the pain I had been fighting for so long. Before he had distracted me, made me think of things besides the tenderness. But now he had taken a portion of the hurt away-a tiny morsel, but a morsel still. I could feel my chest swelling, in a good way.

Jacob looked down at me and his face got closer and closer…

"Hey, kids."

Jake and I both gasped and looked up. Billy was sitting there, a sad smile on his face.

"Hey, Dad." Jacob said, slowly and supposedly discreetly moving away from me. Billy noticed, there was no mistaking that.

"Is something burning?" Billy asked.

"Oh no!" I said, turning to the beans, which were smoking. I stirred them with the wooden spoon I'd been using to find that the bottom of them had turned into a blackened mess. "There goes our dinner plans."

I quickly turned the stove off and began putting the burnt beans down the garbage disposal. I cursed under my breath.

"We can just order takeout. How's Chinese sound, Dad?"

Billy shrugged. "Fine. Charlie joining us?"

"Yep," I said.

"I'll be in my room. Get me when the food's here?"

"Sure thing, Dad." Jacob watched his father wheel back through the house. He sighed. "This sucks," He noted.

"No kidding." I replied. "You know the number for the Chinese place?"

Jacob nodded and grabbed the phone. As he dialed and ordered takeout, a sort of numbness settled over me. Not the same numbness that I had lived in for months-not the zombie-like state I had only recently managed to escape from. This lack of sensation was sad and cold. Everything seemed so wrong, so forlorn. Victoria had been at my house. Harry was dead. I couldn't even cook dinner now.

And Jacob and I…I felt like now was not the right time to have made the decision, what with everything going on. Why, why didn't I wait? It's not like I had any pressing reason to do it…

"Bella. Bella?"

I was pulled out of my pensive thinking. "Oh, sorry."

"It's okay. Wanna come with me to pick up the food? We've got to drive into town."

I nodded. He pulled me outside and to his garage. I got into the Rabbit, and he got into the driver's seat. The first couple minutes, as we drove out of La Push, were silent.

I looked out the window, thinking. I knew I had to talk with Jacob. I had chosen to make him happy, but he needed to know everything. I promised myself before we kissed that I would let him know I didn't deserve him, that I was crazy, broken. But when could I tell him all of this?


Okay, guys.
This is it. I don't have another full chapter written.
So it's up to YOU!
PM me with ideas-all kinds! Rational, crazy! I don't care! I just want the story to keep going! I will give credit where credit is due, and my story will be back on track!
Do you want the story to stop because YOU didn't do anything? Huh? How would you like that on your consciousness?

Well, I spose that's all for now. I just finished my first day of finals-just two more! I'll work on writing when I'm not studying.

Almost Christmas! Whoopie! I hope you all have happy holidays and heads full of ideas, which you will review/PM me!

Love,
Jenna(Who loves Hot Air Balloon by Owl City)