When Frostfur awoke the next morning, it took her a while to realize where she was. She was warm and comfortable for the first time in moons, snuggled up next to Speckletail where she belonged. Not too far away she could hear the other elders breathing softly. Longtail's soft snores reaching her from where he was sleeping…
She blinked her eyes open and was confused to see not leaves and moss, but yellow hay all around her. Instead of the pale tabby form of Longtail curled up beside her, she instead saw the jet black pelt of Ravenpaw.
The previous day's adventures came flooding back to her and Frostfur shivered in spite of herself. Now that she was awake, the barn felt very different from the home she was used to in ThunderClan. She had to keep reminding herself that their home no longer existed. Even if they could return to the forest, there was no Clan waiting for them there. No more kits to share stories with or apprentices to look after them. No more visits from Cinderpelt or quiet conversations with Longtail…
Frostfur closed her eyes again, suddenly overwhelmed by sadness. She buried her nose into Speckletail's fur, seeking out the older queen's comfort. Despite everything, Speckletail still smelled like home. She was warm and familiar, a pillar of normalcy in Frostfur's changing world.
Drawing strength from her closest friend, Frostfur pulled herself up and shook the hay from her snowy white pelt. Everyone else was still asleep, though she didn't spot Barley anywhere. Gone out early, I suppose. Frostfur thought dismissively. She picked her way carefully around her sleeping companions and stepped outside into the cold morning air.
She was met with a watery light, seeping weakly through the clouds overhead. It was as cold as it had ever been, but Frostfur sucked in the frozen air hungrily. After the stuffy warmth of the barn, she almost welcomed the harsh wind that ruffled her fur. As chilly as it was, it was fresh and it smelt of forests and fields.
"Settling in all right?" The voice startled her, but it was only Barley padding out from around the side of the barn. His black and white fur was fluffed out against the cold, but he strode out with the air of a cat who was comfortable in his own territory.
Frostfur nodded hesitantly. She had only met the tom a few times; on her trip to the Moonstone as an apprentice, and later when he came to help the Clans drive away BloodClan. Though he'd always been a friend of ThunderClan, Frostfur was reluctant to put too much trust in a loner.
Barley seemed to sense her discomfort and gave her a sympathetic look. "Feel free to eat all the mice you want," he offered. "There's more than enough for everyone." Then he turned and slipped back into the warmth of the barn.
He passed Ravenpaw on the way out, giving the black loner an affectionate nudge as they passed each other. Ravenpaw stretched each of his limbs in turn, clearly in no hurry to start the day. When he'd finished he trotted over to where Frostfur sat and gave her a little nod of greeting. She returned the nod but said nothing.
Frostfur had never been particularly close to Ravenpaw, even when he had been part of ThunderClan. Though he was her younger brother, Dustpelt had always been easier to get along with. In the Clan Ravenpaw had been skittish and unreliable, to the point that Frostfur had even believed it when Tigerstar spread rumors about him being a traitor.
Her belly twisted uncomfortably thinking about it. The last time she had seen Ravenpaw as part of the Clan, she had chased him away from the nursery out of suspicion. Tigerstar, at the time the deputy of ThunderClan, had been trying to hide his own treachery by turning the Clan against Ravenpaw. And Frostfur, she was ashamed to admit, believed him.
But if Ravenpaw still remembered that confrontation, it didn't seem to be bothering him now. He had seated himself next to her and was washing his paws casually. It seemed he wanted to talk to her, but he was waiting for her to be comfortable enough to speak first.
After another few moments Frostfur cleared her throat and said awkwardly, "Thanks for letting us stay with you."
Ravenpaw stopped his grooming and looked at her with sad yellow eyes. "I'm glad you came, honestly," he admitted. "When the Clans left, they took a part of me with them. Even though I haven't lived with them for seasons… I guess part of you never leaves the forest, huh?"
Frostfur closed her eyes and sighed softly. "Yeah."
"So it's sort of a relief to know I'm not the last, in a way," he went on, gazing out towards Highstones. "There's still a little bit of Clan blood left here."
Frostfur didn't respond. Speaking with Ravenpaw was making her think of her kits, travelling far away in search of a new home. And Brindleface, who may have been with her now if not for Tigerstar… How could I ever have trusted him over Ravenpaw? Over my own kin? She sighed again, wondering if she should apologize now.
Before she could another cat stepped out to join them and Frostfur caught herself purring happily as she recognized the scent. Speckletail nuzzled her gently in greeting and mewed, "Did you sleep alright?"
"Of course," Frostfur purred, forgetting about Ravenpaw for the moment. "How about you? Was the hay too prickly?"
"No, I—" Speckletail began to answer but broke off into a fit of coughing. Across from her Ravenpaw drew back in alarm and Frostfur felt her eyes go wide. Speckletail composed herself quickly and finished, "I slept just fine."
"How long has that cough been around?" Frostfur asked, trying to keep the fear out of her voice. Even though they had a warm place to sleep now, a cold in leaf-bare could be deadly. An innocent cough could become whitecough, and then greencough, before they could do anything about it.
Speckletail didn't meet her eyes. "Since last night. But it's worse this morning," she said hesitantly. "But it's just a cough. My throat's raw from breathing too much cold air yesterday."
She said it definitively, but Frostfur wasn't convinced. Without a medicine cat to diagnose her for sure, it would be better to nip this in the bud before it progressed.
Turning to Ravenpaw, Frostfur asked, "Do you and Barley keep any herbs on hand?"
Ravenpaw tilted his head to one side, looking anxious. He was clearly thinking of the same worst-case scenarios that Frostfur was. "He might, I'll have to ask," the black tom mewed. "We only really get cuts and scratches to treat around here, so I don't know what he'll have for coughs."
"Ask if he has any tansy," Frostfur suggested, remembering what Cinderpelt used to give her when she had a cold. She turned back to Speckletail to add, "And you should get back inside and rest."
Speckletail scowled and started to protest, but another round of coughing interrupted her. So Frostfur took charge, pressing herself against Speckletail's side and guiding the dappled she-cat back to her nest inside the barn. The older queen grumbled something about her legs still working but she didn't try to argue anymore. She sank back into the hay while Ravenpaw hurried towards the loft where he and Barley had their nests.
Once Speckletail was settled in again, Frostfur set her mind on hunting. She needed to catch something for Speckletail to keep her strength up, and her own belly was growling as well.
On the way out she met Shadepelt, who kept glancing anxiously over at Speckletail.
"Is she okay?" the darker she-cat asked, kneaded the wood floor of the barn with her paws. It was surprising to see the RiverClan cat so worried about Speckletail.
No, we're not RiverClan and ThunderClan anymore. Frostfur reminded herself. Just a couple of cats trying to survive. "She's got a bit of a cough," she said out loud, trying to sound unconcerned. "Ravenpaw's gone to get some tansy, and I figured I'd hunt for her until she's better."
"Mind if I come with you?" Shadepelt asked, brightening up a bit. "I wouldn't mind hunting outside for a bit. There's plenty of mice in the barn, but it all feels kinda… Claustrophobic."
Frostfur nodded, understanding exactly what the she-cat meant. They were both used to the freedom of the forest; the soft rustle of leaves or the music of a babbling brook. Comparatively the old barn was stuffy and confining.
With Shadepelt in tow she led the way around the side of the barn, where a few trees were scattered. Nothing like the forest, but it was more sheltered than the fields where cows grazed. Scenting the air she picked up a whiff of squirrel and her mouth watered. This far from the destruction in the forest, a big squirrel would make a good meal for Speckletail. It would remind her of home.
Splitting off from Shadepelt she dropped to a crouch and followed the trail to the base of a tree. It was a fairly old squirrel, lean from the harsh leafbare, but still much bigger than they had been in the forest before they left. Frostfur dug in her claws and pounced, landing squarely on the squirrel and killing it before it could even react.
It was just passed sunhigh when Shadepelt and Frostfur returned with their catch. Frostfur took her squirrel right to Speckletail, but the elder queen was fast asleep. Not wanting to disturb her, Frostfur left it just by her nest for her to wake up to later. Asleep was much better than coughing and wheezing, and it was good for her to get her rest now.
She had caught a mouse for herself and brought it over to share with the others. Shadepelt was telling Loudbelly and Ravenpaw about their hunt near the back of the barn. Barley was nowhere to be seen; either out hunting or up in his loft already.
Ravenpaw caught Frostfur's eye when she joined them. "Barley had a little bit of tansy, and it seemed to help," he told her, flicking his tail towards where Speckletail slept. "We don't have much else for helping coughs, though. So if it gets worse…"
"We'll have to make a trip to the Twolegplace to get catmint," Loudbelly said gravely.
Frostfur's eyes widened in dismay. "There's no catmint anywhere closer?"
Ravenpaw shook his head. "The Twolegs that own the barn had some in their garden, but the frost this season has killed it all. I went and checked while you were out hunting." He looked apologetic, though the weather was hardly his fault. "If worst comes to worst, Twolegplace would be our only hope."
Frostfur dug her claws into the soft wood floor of the barn. Twolegplace was so far away from here… Back in ThunderClan it would have been a simple trip there and back, but here… They couldn't go through the forest either, so they would have to find another way around.
"I'm sure it won't come to that," Shadepelt said quickly, noticing how upset Frostfur was. "You said the tansy made her feel better, right? And she's sleeping soundly now. I'm sure this cold will clear up in no time."
Though it was hard to believe her words, Shadepelt's positive attitude did make Frostfur feel a little better. "You're right," she said firmly, trying to convince herself as well as the others. "Speckletail will sleep this off and be better in the morning. We don't have to worry about catmint or Twolegplace."
Loudbelly and Ravenpaw still looked skeptical, but they didn't press the issue.
Speckletail was not better the next morning.
Though she had managed to force down the squirrel the night before, when she woke up she seemed frailer than ever. The last of her meager strength seemed to have drained away during the night. She woke up just long enough to complain of a sore throat before she began coughing again. Even when she wasn't coughing she wouldn't speak because it hurt too much.
Ravenpaw and Barley went out again to check around the Twoleg's house for catmint, but it seemed pretty unlikely that they would find anything. In the meantime, all they could do was give Speckletail a few old poppy seeds to put her back into a fitful sleep.
Frostfur sat by the barn door, watching Speckletail's flank rise and fall where she slept in her nest. She kept shifting now and then, clearly dreaming. It was taking all of Frostfur's self-control to just let her sleep, rather than lying with her and grooming her protectively. All she could do for now was wait for Ravenpaw and Barely to return.
Her head whipped when the barn door creaked open a crack and two cats slipped inside. "Any luck?" She called to them, getting to her feet anxiously.
Ravenpaw shook his head, looking defeated. "We dug around in the Twoleg's garden as much as we could, but there was nothing left." He mewed. Barley licked his ear comfortingly. "Not even a few dry leaves or roots."
"Then we'll have to make the trip to Twolegplace," Frostfur decided. She had expected their answer, and had been mentally preparing herself for a journey ever since they left. "I'll go, and I should leave now."
"Now hold on just a minute," Loudbelly spoke up, padding over to join them with Shadepelt. "Twolegplace will be a long journey, now that you can't go through the old forest. You don't even know the way."
"And there's no guarantee any of the catmint there will have survived the winter…" Shadepelt added softly.
Barley stepped forward. "I know the route around the forest well. I haven't always been welcome on the Clan's territory, so I had to learn a way around if I even needed something from town—er, Twolegplace. I showed Ravenpaw the way too."
"Yeah," Ravenpaw said sheepishly. "I went around that way a few times hunting and patrolling… Especially after BloodClan fell, to make sure they were really gone."
Loudbelly didn't look convinced. "How long would it take to go there and back?"
"Well," Barley tilted his head to one side, thinking it through. "If you just head east but cut around ShadowClan's territory, it would take the better part of the day. But I don't know how far around the construction you'll have to go before you reach the edge of the town— Sorry, Twolegplace."
"Then I should leave now, before it gets any later." Frostfur insisted. She was getting more and more impatient the longer they sat here carrying on about it.
"It's nearly sunhigh now," Shadepelt pointed out, looking out the crack in the door towards the sky. "There's no way you'd get there before nightfall."
Frostfur turned on her, her pelt bristling slightly. "But Speckletail is only going to get worse the longer we wait around!"
She stiffened at a touch on her shoulder, but it was only Ravenpaw trying to calm her down. His amber eyes were sympathetic and understanding. "If you want to go now, I'll go with you and show you the way."
Frostfur blinked gratefully at him and turned back to Loudbelly. "You don't have to come with me. None of you do. But I have to do this for Speckletail."
Loudbelly held her gaze for a moment, looking like he still wanted to object. But finally he sighed and stepped aside. "I can't stop you. I'm not your leader," He rumbled. "But I do hope you'll be careful. Trying to rush and getting yourself hurt won't help anyone."
If you're not my leader, then don't lecture me! Frostfur stifled the thought before it left her mouth and only nodded curtly.
"I'll come too!" Shadepelt piped up, seeming not to notice the tension between her Clanmate and Frostfur. "The more paws the better, right?"
Frostfur hesitated. She liked the darker she-cat just fine and wouldn't mind travelling with her, but she wasn't fond of the idea of leaving Speckletail with just Loudbelly and Barley. Despite Barley's hospitality he was still a loner. And Loudbelly… Frostfur couldn't bring herself to trust him. He was too bossy and always seemed to act like the leader of their little group, despite saying he wasn't.
As reluctant as she was to admit it, out of all the former Clan cats Frostfur had really come to trust Shadepelt. She was well-meaning and energetic, and didn't try to presume anything about Frostfur the way Loudbelly did. Somehow she had found a way into Frostfur's frigid heart.
"The more paws the better…" Frostfur repeated finally, feeling guilty. "But, that's why I think it's better for you to stay here with Speckletail." Shadepelt looked crestfallen for a moment so Frostfur pressed on, "Speckletail can be difficult, but she trusts you because… Well, because I trust you. It would really mean a lot to me if you could look after her while I'm gone."
Understanding dawned in Shadepelt's eyes and she nodded solemnly. "I'll take good care of her for you, I promise."
Frostfur touched her nose briefly to the darker cat's shoulder, then turned towards Ravenpaw. "Let's get moving."
Ravenpaw nodded, a hint of excitement in his round amber eyes. Perhaps he was looking forward to an adventure with his older sister. Frostfur, on the other hand, couldn't help feeling a cold sense of dread as the two padded out of the barn and towards the unknown.
