Prompt: Birthday.

Summary: Asami is a woman of wonders, but one incapability arises into a problem when Iroh's birthday rolls around.


Egghead

Asami Sato can do men's work. She can take apart a Satomobile like it's a child's toy, and put it back together faster than any of her father's factory workers can. She knows Republic City like the back of her hand, and drives that Moped of hers like she has nine lives to spare.

Asami Sato can be a woman too. She can attract attention with a flick of her raven black hair or a bat of those long eyelashes that frame her mesmerizing green eyes. Men turn to stare at her when she walks down the street in her aviator pants, and women scowl in envy.

She's smart, beautiful and kicks ass. She's pretty much a superhero.

But perhaps the sole thing she cannot do is cook.

She' a fighter, not a housewife. It's never really bothered her that much that she's not a great cook, because she's never really needed to do it. Growing up in the lap of luxury, Asami only had to snap her fingers and she would be presented with a five course meal of her choosing. It's no wonder she doesn't even know how her way around the kitchen.

It's only when celebrations like birthdays come around that she gets into trouble. She can't plan a party, she feels like an awkward turtle duck when she dances, she hates alcohol and she can't be festive or cheery for squat. Most importantly, she can't bake a cake to save her life.

When Iroh's birthday rolls around, she's panicked, but she's also determined to do something memorable for it. That morning when Iroh has put on his uniform, kissed her goodbye and headed out to the docks, Asami calls in sick from work. She has to do something special.

Problem is, she doesn't know what.

Cook? She can't do anything in the kitchen. She'd probably burn the house down.

Bake? Same problem.

Surprise party? Too late notice.

So she does the only thing she can think of doing, which is visiting Korra and letting out all her sorrows.

"You know Asami, you could at least try cooking. It's not so hard, and I bet Mako and Bolin would love to help out."

"Ugh. I think I'm a lost case. I can't do anything."

"Do something simple. Elegant. Go out to dinner."

"Boring."

"Go out dancing?"

"He doesn't like dancing."

"Pro-bending match? Makapu Moose Lions vs. Bau Ling Buzzard Wasps are playing tonight."

"He doesn't follow pro-bending. He wouldn't have any idea what was going on."

Korra sighs. She seems pretty exasperated with her.

"I reckon you should bake a cake for him"

"Didn't I already tell you –"

"—yeah, you did, but just hear me out. It doesn't have to taste great; at least it comes from your heart and soul. He'll understand, Iroh's a nice guy. I think that's better than any present you can buy him."

Maybe she's right. It's about time she started taking chances are caring less about being perfect.

"Alright."

"Good on you, Asami."

Asami decides it's not a good idea when she actually gets to the kitchen (it sounded good coming out of Korra's mouth). She doesn't even have a cookbook of any kind, so she's going to have to improvise. She scavenges around their kitchen looking for the ingredients to bake a cake, when she realizes she doesn't know the first thing that goes into a cake.

Eggs? Butter? Both? Maybe neither.

Then there's the flavour, texture, icing, and how to decorate the damn thing.

Oh, baking is so confusing.

Asami manages to make her way to the step where she has to whisk the butter, eggs, sugar, and whatever else she put in there together with chopsticks. She whisks for a good two minutes, checks her progress and realizes that the stupid batter isn't creamy or soft enough. She whisks for what feels like a long, long time, and it's still as lumpy and inconsistent as before.

Frustrated, she throws it all out and does it again. And again, and again.

Why was this so difficult for her? She would probably find taking on an army easier than this. She had tried every batch, but they all just tasted like sandpapered sea prunes.

Her patience is worn very thin right now. She's about to pop.

Then on the last go, she's whisking so fast and angrily that the batter goes everywhere.

Asami just lets out a very unladylike groan of frustration. She takes the mixture in her hands (at this point she's so pissed she doesn't even care that she's getting it all over her clothes) and dumps everything in the bin. All of it. It doesn't even matter anymore.

It only matters if Iroh happens to walk through the door at that exact moment.

Which he does.

"You're home early…" she sighs. She looks up at him with the batter smeared all over her hands and shirt. He looks puzzled, but not angry at least.

"…what's going on?" he asks, going over to her and going to wipe the flour off her face.

"I tried okay? I tried to make you a cake for your birthday. But I can't bake or cook or anything, so this is what happened. I'm sorry that I'm so useless and I can't do anything, I really tried –"

Iroh's laughing. Laughing.

That little –

"Asami," he says gently, cupping her face in his hands, "you did a wonderful job."

It's Asami's turn to laugh. The kitchen is a total mess, she looks like a total mess, and her 'wonderful job' is a total mess.

"No, I'm serious. You really tried to do something lovely for me, even if it didn't go exactly as you planned…" he eyes the ingredients all over the table.

"I didn't even make a cake. And I don't have a present. And I wasted all the ingredients."

"Maybe not."

And before she can respond, he grabs a handful of flour and tosses it at her head.

With a shriek of surprise, Asami does too, taking her own handful of eggs and shamelessly smearing the yolk all over his fitted jacket (she'll do the laundry later). She's not giving up without a fight, even if it is his birthday.


Note: For like, the three people who read my last chapter, I'm sorry this is a pretty crappy chapter, just bear with me, please? I hope it gets better.