All because of you, I haven't slept in so long,
When I do, I dream I'm drowning in the ocean...
The slightest undertone of pineapple reaches my tastebuds as Carly's lips slide over mine, and even though it's subtle, the taste overpowers every part of me. And while I came to expect the fireworks or otherwise orgasmic feelings to come from this kiss, it's just lips and tongues and...perfect, no pyro needed. My brain is completely fried beyond making rational decisions; every part of me has suddenly grown a mind of its own. My muscles tense and relax like they can't decide whether or not the situation is threatening. My better judgment to stop and ask what's going on goes out the window when her delicate hand drags my jaw open, and I surrender to the intruding tongue. The battle inside my mouth rages on, and every part of what's going on sends me into complete overload. The tickle of her tongue on the roof of my mouth, the way we're practically molded together, and the constant brush of her hand on my thigh completely takes me over. Carly's hand slides from its place on my jaw, over my collarbone before gracing itself across my chest, feeling the gentle but rapid heartbeat beneath my ribs, before moving behind my back and pulling until our bodies are pressed flush against each other. The few layers of clothes between our skin immediately drive me crazy.
Her soft lips disconnect from mine, trailing across my jaw and slipping onto my heated neck. They latch on there, sucking and pulling gently, causing me to take a sharp intake of shared oxygen and the blood to rush from my head to other regions of my body. It's then that I feel teeth make their mark there, and my back arches on its own accord. My voice similarly lets out a feral sound on its own, which snaps me back to reality. I'm in Carly's bed and she's chewing on my neck without any reason, seemingly, and this has to stop or there's going to be imminent heartbreak. And if I opened my heart to anyone, there's no way in Hell I'm going to let it break. I put my hands on Carly's shoulders and push her away as gently as I can muster, and she takes the hint, moving back to my face and pressing her forehead against mine, love obviously sparkling in her eyes. Her hot breath plays on my lips, and the beauty of the moment makes me smile.
"So uh, what's this all about?" I whisper, and brown eyes dart away from mine.
"Sam...will you...go out with me?" she asks, and I can feel the sincerity in her voice, but there's some other feeling I just can't place that's hiding behind her words. And while I should be jumping around and pumping a fist in the air with glee because in the end, this is what I wanted, this is just way too fast for me, if that's even possible.
"I dunno, Carls. Isn't this a little...fast?" I inquire, and she hesitates before nodding sadly.
"Yeah, yeah, you're right," she whispers almost inaudibly, thumbing my cheek in obvious love through what is definitely disappointment. "Do you want to...keep going?" One half of my brain screams for us to throw the brakes on this ride, but my hormones say otherwise and I end up nodding. I can almost feel the smile that breezes against her face before she leans back in, recapturing my lips in a gracious kiss. Then she's ripping my shirt at the buttons with a sharp tug, throwing it from my shoulders and taking my camisole in her grip. I raise my arms above my head, and it's yanked off without another word, leaving me exposed and feeling vulnerable, but Carly soon makes up for it and removes her own shirt. My heart nearly breaks from my chest and the sight before me, and I'm totally breathless. I assume that I'm one of the few to ever see Carly clad in only a small black bra and tight blue skinny jeans, hair disheveled with stars in her eyes as she moves in to resume her place on my neck, eliciting quite the excited noise from me. She giggles innocently and scoots closer on my lap until the naked skin of our stomachs are brushing. The light feather of smooth skin makes my need triple in half a second flat.
Following nothing more than what feels right, I reach behind Carly and struggle to unclasp her bra, which eventually gives. She takes her mouth from my neck for a moment, biting her lip and staring into my eyes with hers uncertain. I smile at her in reassurance, solidifying everything we are, before I gently tug on the straps, allowing them to fall down her arms before the unwanted item is tossed across the room. Neither of us know what to do at this point; I can tell the way we do nothing more than stare into each other's hesitant eyes. Carly works on my own less flattering purple bra, slipping the straps from my shoulders and undoing the clasp before throwing mine into the quickly enlarging pile of clothes. We spend a few moments just staring at each other's newly exposed skin, suddenly trusting each other with it for unexplainable reasons.
"Lay down, Sammie," she whispers, and I do so, laying my head softly on her pillow, my heart never slowing down. Carly climbs above me on hands and knees like a tentative kitten, obviously knowing what she was doing about as much as I do. My hair fans out from around my face, and she wraps a curl of mine around her finger and tugs lovingly, causing my heart to flutter like a bird in a cage, and the word love flashes in my mind for what is probably the first time in my life, but I chase it away as soon as it appears there, scared at what could happen if those kind of thoughts progressed. Blue eyes stare into brown with an unreadable expression scribbled into them. I've had my share of experience in the thought-reading department, as is necessary for my basic survival in life, and behind the mask she thinks I can't see through, excitement sparkles and insecurities growl. But above all, Carly doesn't know what to do next, and that shines through her blank face the most. I take advantage of this situation and lean myself upwards, stealing her perfect lips in mine as my mind raced.
Then Carly's hands have suddenly made their way south, and they're fumbling with the button on my jeans, and holy shit, we're doing this. The next thing I know, I'm completely naked except for the boy shorts hanging loosely from my waist, and I'm starting to be scared to death, Carly's lips on mine offering slight comfort. Nonetheless, my Sam-itute prevails, and I swallow through the fear, copying her previous motions and playing with the metal button on her skinny jeans. My nerves have exploded in the past few minutes, and my hands are shaking uncontrollably, causing a simple button to morph into a complex puzzle.
"Shit," I mutter obscenely, pulling away from the kiss. Carly chuckles breathlessly at my struggle with her jeans, glowing with the simple fact that she did this to me. I let my hands drop from her pants with a frustrated grunt, never one to be defeated, and apparently, not even in bed, but I hate being so exposed alone. Carly gladly slides the dark blue fabric from her legs, and I watch in awe as the material wrinkles and gives way to miles of soft, milky skin that makes my stomach feel like I just ate a really rancid steak, in a good way. I grasp the legs of the jeans and help her finally slide them off completely, leaving me with a perfect view of nothing but pure Carly Shay and some mildly inappropriate underwear that makes me smirk a little. She's obviously a lot more confident than I am without clothes to hide in, and letting my eyes scan the newly-charted skin in front of me, I decide that she has every reason to be.
Gulping in what could possibly be classified as trepidation, I make my way in her direction, setting myself gently onto her bare lap. The sensation of the smooth skin of her thighs sliding against mine sends a shiver up my spine, and I sit there motionless for a moment, just enjoying the moment while it lasts, enjoying the way heat is radiating from her body in a way I never quite noticed before, enjoying the way her eyes darken and twinkle with emotion that's almost too good to be true.
"You okay with this?" Carly asks quietly, and my insides kind of melt when she says this, because no one's put this much care into me before, not even my own mother. And then she takes my trembling hand and links her fingers with mine, and it feels more right than it probably should.
"Our hands fit together," I state off-topic, staring at our perfectly molded skin, and she smiles at this despite the fact that I didn't exactly answer her question.
"A lot of parts of us fit together," Carly whispers, and then my melting insides fizzle up and evaporate completely, ceasing to exist, but leaving me anything but empty. She brushes my cheek with the pad of her thumb and asks me again, "Is this okay, Sam? I don't want you regretting anything." I nod, because I'm mostly incapable of words by this point, and she grins at me before I see her face floating toward mine. It becomes blurry from the decrease in distance, and I submit to her sweet poison once again.
My stomach tenses underneath Carly's gliding palm, and then it's joined by another, and the pair ascend over my ribcage that I press into her hands for more contact, like it's the oxygen I'm breathing...or not. She hesitates there, so I press further, silently begging, and Carly continues, hands meeting their mark and sliding and creating beautiful friction. I mirror her actions, pretending I have the slightest clue of what I'm doing, and I must be pretty convincing judging by the way her breathing patterns are changing and hitching. A slightly unfamiliar burning starts between my thighs from listening to her breathe. My own breathing is modified, and my heart beats with renewed vigor as I watch Carly pull away and sit up, hand once again slipping its way up my now bare thigh, causing me to gulp in anticipation and possible fear because it's not stopping this time. Her fingers enter the crook of my thigh, tracing the line of my boyshorts up and across my stomach, leaving me squirming and the burning doubling over and over again. I feel French-manicured nails brush their way inside the top seam of the pinstripes before gently tugging, but I grab her wrist and make her stop. Carly's eyes flick up to me questioningly.
"...sorry I didn't shave," I mutter quite unladylike and rather embarrassed, and Carly giggles in what sounds a little like relief.
"Do you really think I care?" she asks in return, easing the garment over my hips. I lift them without thinking twice. "Besides, you couldn't have known this was going to happen." My boyshorts travel down to my knees and then to my shins and then they're gone and I'm completely naked and God, Carly's right. I decide I've got much more important things to focus on, especially because I don't know when this will happen again.
If it ever happens again, my subconscious whispers subtly, and I mentally punish my brain for thinking of such a thing at a time like this, because – "Oh fuck," I say, out loud apparently, because Carly grins at my obscenity, fingers suddenly doing things I never imagined they could do. And as great as it immediately is, I can tell she's relatively clueless, and I hold her wrist again and guide her, feeling extremely exposed as she studies my facial expressions to gauge how well she's doing. In about fifteen seconds flat she's got my hips jerking on their own accord, and I let her go on her own, head rolling on her pillow that's engulfing me with the vanilla scent of her hair and fists clenching and unclenching, clutching desperately at the loosely-hanging sheets. Her attack on my body and brain and heart remains relentless, and she climbs her way back up to my face, never stopping, as her lips reclaim mine in a solemn reminder that this is actually love, and not something much simpler. Carly manages to hit some button I didn't know I had, and I find myself pulling her jaw open with a shaking hand and immediately slipping her a meaningful tongue and meeting an equally loving one half way.
And suddenly I think I've got to show her just how good she's doing, slipping my own hand down the front of her underwear before I have the chance to hesitate, and Carly's breath catches in her throat, though her lips never stop their sweet torture, nor do her fingers as my own begin their maiden voyage. I'm not blaming her for being a little ignorant anymore, because even though I have girl parts, it's a lot more difficult to do this on someone else, under pressure and half drunk on your own feelings, so I blindly rub and pray I'm doing something right. And apparently this prayer works, because a noise rumbles in the back of Carly's throat that might as well have been a roar in the silence of her turquoise room. The sound is so beautiful, I repeat my previous actions harder, getting a similar result, and she duplicates my movements, sending me into a sudden upward spiral. I detach my lips from hers in order to breathe, and now teeth are finding my shoulder and that's all I need to tip off the edge of that spiral. My vision goes gray and the edges sparkle and a tingle starts at my fingers and toes and travels up my body in wave after wave, and my entire body tenses with each shiver of pleasure, and then I'm limp and struggling to regain lost oxygen, exhausted. A few moments later, Carly does the same, knees failing her as she collapses on me with a breathless sigh, as we lay there together completely aflutter and aglow.
"That was..." Carly starts, but she can't find an appropriate adjective, and neither can I.
"Yeah," I agree with her lack of description, grinning like an idiot with nothing but pure peace.
"So...how long?" she asks out of the blue.
"How long?" I repeat dumbly, mind still foggy.
"Y'know...how long do you need? ...to decide? ...about us?" Carly stumbles around her words, reminding me a lot of myself on Ambien. I mentally chuckle at the realization that as long as this girl still has fingers, I'll never need any kind of drug, ever again. "You said it was too soon..." I shrug.
"I guess it just doesn't feel like the right time yet," I attempt to explain. "But of course I'll tell you when...I wouldn't be naked and sweaty in your bed right now if I didn't feel something, right?" I'm smiling and she's smiling and yeah, we're pretty naked, and sweaty too.
Carly leans over to her carpet and tosses me my half of the clothes pile, and we dress silently and quickly, still beaming. And when we both settle into her comforter and I feel her figure pressed protectively against my back, I can't help the words that escape my mouth.
"We fit together..."
Longing for the shore, where I can lay my head down
I'll follow your voice, all you have to do is shout it out...
