Disclaimer: Not JK…
Chapter: 4
#4: When you don't run the hell away from the strange animals she pets, you know you're doomed
Christmas at Hogwarts was the most comforting thing in the entire world and Blaise wondered why he had ever wanted to go home to his unwelcoming mother when he could remain blissfully alone in the castle that seemed almost deserted except for the random professor or ghost. Even they seemed to be in the mood for solitude and joy. He swore Professor McGonagall actually smiled at him when she had passed him the other day.
Another thing that had arisen from this holiday had been his constant contact with the headmaster. Though he had lived in the same castle as him and had seen him everyday, he had never spoken with him. The rumors that had circulated in the commonroom about their slightly eccentric headmaster had made sure of that. But now that he was in such close contact with him on a daily basis, Blaise could honestly say that the rumors were over rated. Sure the former transfiguration professor was slightly too optimistic and had a weird streak in him but who didn't? Blaise found that he actually enjoyed his company inspite of his weird anectodes and mysterious implications. He respected the headmaster for not bringing up the subject of the Dark Lord even once during their conversations. May be he already knew his stand in the matter. Word was that the headmaster was a renowned Legilimens and if that was true, he would be relieved of explaining it to him.
He walked by Hagrid's hut and Fang immediately perked its ears. It came trotting down the pumpkin patch, the snow in the way deterring it. It had indeed been a weird day when he had first stumbled upon the rundown hut and Fang had decided to befriend him. Hagrid, it seemed, trusted him exactly as much as his pet did. With a nod to Hagrid who was sitting on the porch, he walked by, Fang now contently trotting beside him, wondering about his affinity towards eccentric humans. At the thought, a sigh escaped him which was part yielding and part relief. Defeat and annoyance over his own lack of self control tried to suppress the overwhelming sense of relief it brought him to think of her.
He stared at the looming band of trees that marked the beginning of the Forbidden Forest. He had been wandering in the grounds farther than he had thought. He hesitated, but a curious neigh drew his attention. Somehow, that sound was pulling at him. Blaise wondered how his curiosity had always been the bane of his own life.
And of course it would lead me right to the epicenter of my problems he chided himself foolishly for not thinking of this sooner. Of course her weird fascination with all creatures would extend to the actually existing ones too. And stupidly, he found that just another reason that endeared him to her. He kicked a stone in frustration at the direction his thoughts were taking. He had accepted that he cared for her after her abrupt retreat had left a sharp pain in the place he thought his heart would have been. But these startling discoveries he was making about himself did not make the admission any easier.
She had been trying to feed a thestral that was a bit too tall for her and had dropped it in surprise when his aimlessly kicked stone had landed near her.
"I know my presence here isn't pleasant to you but you could atleast not try to chase me away with stones" she said before she bent down to pick up the fruit she had dropped, but he was quicker. The words stung but he hid it in the time it took to pick the fruit.
"What gave it away? The scores of hexes I sent your way?" his retort was equally scalding, though his mind was engaged in noting how the pale blue top she wore suited her dreamy eyes flawlessly and how she managed to appear fresh even amidst the gloomy air of the forest, as if she was a glowing unicorn.
Setting aside his involuntary observations he stared at her, waiting for her response. She was still staring at the fruit in his hand, and he handed it hastily to her. Her hand grazed his and she seemed flustered at the contact. A weird urge to hurt him arose in her and she threw the fruit away as if it was a ball of fire. She quickly understood that her plan had backfired when the animal which had been standing between them moved away to pick it up. They stood facing each other, she with her face contorted in a mask of irritation and his, indecipherable as always.
"Hexes? So I should be pleased that it's just a harmless stone and not one of the unforgivables?" she asked, stressing on harmless.
"I'm not a Dark Wizard, Luna" a sliver of hurt escaped his carefully contorted mask.
"Oh! You don't have that horrible tattoo on your arm so that is supposed to make me feel all cozy, huh?"
"I don't understand why you're being so offensive. Will you atleast tell me what I did before you prosecute me?" his voice wasn't loud enough to be a yell, but his piercing tone carried out the effect just as well.
"And I heard you were smart. If you need me to spell it out for you, stay away from me Zabini" she turned to walk into the deeper side of the forest, away from the clearing in which they had been standing. She was jerked away when she felt his hand clasp her wrist and his gruff voice sounded close to her ear. "And what if can't do that?"
"You mean you won't" she felt horribly breathless, and she chided herself for letting herself be affected by him this way.
"Can't. Not won't" his voice caressed her ear and she fought to suppress a shiver.
This is just another of his tricks. He's just moving to messing with my mind since throwing hexes doesn't work anymore. She tried hard but somehow her voice sounded unconvincing, even to herself.
"Doesn't make a difference. Doesn't change anything" she tried to escape her hold but he only drew her to him. She was now comfortably nestled within his arms and belatedly realized that she had unconsciously leaned on to him. Straightening herself, she hissed.
"Let me go!"
"Only if you agree to explain why you're behaving this way" his voice sounded amused, infuriating her further.
"I have no need to explain anything to you!"
"I think you do. If you're going to accuse me, I might as well know what you're putting me on trial for. Why did you run away that day? I've been going mad ever since and you don't even bother to…" he bit his tongue before any other incriminating truth could slip out. She seemed to stiffen in response and felt her turn and let her free. It had been a stupid idea to restrain her that way but he hadn't known any other way to make her stay long enough to understand her. The eyes that met his were bright for the most part but he thought he sensed a deeper sense of hurt behind them.
"Why should I bother? What are you to me? What difference are my words going to make? Do you know how absolutely torturous it is to know that nothing you try could work? That all of your effort, time and affection is as useful as drizzle on desert sand?" She was now so close to him that he could have counted the minuscule freckles on her nose if he had wanted to, but he was too enchanted by the way her eyes dazzled. He took a deep breath. It seemed she was intent on talking in riddles. Or may be he understood what she was saying but didn't want to acknowledge it.
"I don't understand"
"Then I see no use in explaining it to you. You have taken it upon yourself to turn a blind eye to anything that displeases you. But let me tell you this, Zabini, you cannot waltz into my life like some kind of Lord and expect me to obey you. I see right through your pretences so you can give up. Starting right about now" she stormed away, stopping near a thestral. She hoped to hear his footsteps and she did, a few minutes later. Only, they were in the opposite direction.
"So you never told me why you were here" his irking drawl was back and she breathed deeply, trying to dispel her annoyance at his attitude. It wouldn't do her any good to loose her composure with him. Trying to keep her voice level, she looked up at him.
The morning sunlight shone on him from a gap in the thick trees, as if a spotlight was cast on him. His usually handsome features were highlighted by the radiance and he looked dangerously striking with his wayward raven hair blowing in the breeze and his hands securely in his pockets. Untimely as it was, she noticed that his eyes were not the original coal blacks she had assumed. They were the deepest of deep blues and looking into them set her heart in a race. And her familiarity with him only seemed to worsen the effect he had on her.
She stayed silent, contemplating why she felt so unlike her when she was with him. To everyone else, she was the dreaming, Quibbler reading, slightly Loony Ravenclaw who was friends with the Golden Trio and Ginny Weasley. With him, she was none of the things other people associated with her. He did not seem to be bothered about her camaraderie with those he considered his enemies, neither did he seem to mind her unusual behaviors. So suddenly she had to chance to retort, she had lost her personality, her world had been turned upside down and he had become her gravity. Luna realized with absolute certainty that if she were to face a boggart now, it would invariably change into the mirror of erised and show her his handsome face smiling at her with warmth.
His impatience was apparent in his stance though he stood absolutely still. Luna marveled at his ability to express himself without any outward actions. Or may be she was just too attuned to him. While she had been thinking these thoughts, her mouth had gone on auto pilot and had answered his question.
"I always come here. I feel a sort of calmness around these creatures" she gestured to the thestrals which were now strolling in the patch they had vacated.
He seemed surprised, as if he hadn't expected her to answer him. And she shouldn't have, with the things he had said and done but somehow, she found she was willing to forgive him for all that, if only…she shook her head in resignation. That wish died long before it was even born.
"I can't?" his incredulous voice interrupted her jumbled thoughts and she raised her confused eyes to meet his amused ones.
"Can't I see them closer?" Blaise repeated for her and she nodded, brushing past him to one of the smaller ones. As he followed her, Blaise wondered why he had asked to see them. He wasn't your everyday pet lover. Sure he did well in Care of Magical Creatures and Fang seemed to prefer him but that was that. There was a reason he did not have an owl. But seeing her interact with them made them seem like the most intriguing things on the planet. Blaise resigned himself to the inevitable fact : Anything associated with Luna would be fascinating to him. It was like he had taken a giant leap from loathing her to adoring her. It wouldn't have unsettled him so much if it hadn't occurred in a span of a second. Blaise realized that he had made the choice when he had decided to seek her out in the hallways. So, he could blame noone but himself for this.
"Let them come to you. They can smell danger so they'll not harm you as long as your intentions are good. I wonder what they'll do about you" she said as she petted the little animal that was at her eye level. The animal leaned into her hand and let out a soft neigh of contentment. Her eyes were immeasurably tender when she looked at it.
"Why do you keep insinuating that I'm You-know-who's reincarnate?" he asked as he warily placed a palm on another animal's mane. It was ice cold, but in a pleasant manner and the creature seemed to genuinely like him as it looked him in the eye and for a moment he thought it even smiled at him. Seeing his consternation, she said, "You're doing fine. He likes you. It's a miracle. I named him Picky for a reason. You should be proud"
Blaise realized that she was avoiding the question and decided to let it go. He did not want another argument with her. Not now, when she was beginning to talk to him rather than shout or snap.
"Thanks" he told the mare and felt incredibly stupid for doing so. But it was worth it when he heard a muted giggle beside him.
"So you like Thestrals especially?"
"Ever since I traveled on one last year" she replied dreamily and it made him glad to see that she felt comfortable around him. He now understood that her dreamy voice was her natural one. The one she used when she was with people she liked and ones she considered her friends.
"Oh, yeah! I heard about that. It was stupid of you to risk something like that but I can se that you did it for your friends?" he ended with a question, looking away from the thestral to gauge her reaction. She merely nodded and he took that as a chance to continue. As long as he kept talking, she couldn't run away.
"The really mean a lot to you, don't they? If you put yourself in so much danger…"
"There was not much danger except that we might have been caught or…" he interrupted before she could go on, "Oh, of course! And the Dark Lord was sharpening his dueling skills on his former professor, was he? Did you take popcorn with you to watch?" he ended in a snap and immediately knew he had said the worst thing possible.
Her reaction puzzled him further. Instead of throwing his words back at him like she always did, she looked shocked, as if she was suddenly drenched with a bucket of ice cold water. He saw her shoulders stiffen, and knew the heart-to-heart was over. So much for tact.
She gave him neither a glance nor a wave as she abruptly left the clearing back to the castle. He could see Fang bark joyously at her and follow her away. Hearing a soft neigh behind him, he looked to find Picky nudging him.
"I don't think anymore confrontation will help" he said softly to the creature and left the forest himself, more confused than he had been entering it.
Why was she hiding from him? What had happened to make her leave so suddenly?
A/n: Review!
