Darcy Lewis/Luna

Lovegood Rating: T

Summary: Taking time away from Jane, another lunatic scientist somehow got loose from its lab and lost in the woods. Darcy takes it upon herself to lead her back to where she belongs.

Notes: Written for the Marvelously Magical Bingo 2018!
Square I2: Darcy Lewis/Luna Lovegood

Cross legged on a patch of deep moss in the middle of nowhere Sweden, Darcy inhaled slowly to allow the fresh air to cleanse her chakras and shit. She had decided to take the few days leave she should be entitled to had she been a paid intern, to ditch her crazy boss and connect with her inner goddess.

She loved Jane like a sister, but just like a sister, there were times she wanted to strangle her, and that would be a real waste to the scientific community. Thor might smite her down too, as much as he liked Darcy, she was no Jane.

Ten breaths later, Darcy felt calmer already and more like herself because she'd kill right about now for some frothy coffee and cream-filled pastry. Her inner goddess, one of all things yummy, had awakened once more.

Opening her eyes, she expected to see the sun rising smack in the middle of the field in front of her. What she did not expect was for an otherworldly figure to step out of the light. Darcy narrowed her eyes at the ethereal figure surrounded by a halo of almost white hair.

Could be an elf. Could be another freaking alien.

Darcy's hand inched closer to her bag, reaching for her trusted taser.

But as her visitor stepped closer, she appeared entirely human: no scales, pointy teeth or extra limbs to be seen. Darcy kept her guard up however. Loki and Thor looked human at first glance, like two unbelievably hot humans admittedly, but her point stood.

"I'm looking for a baby Snorkack, have you seen one run by? I think I might have frightened the poor thing out of its nest."

Darcy gaped at the other woman's terrible fashion sense with her necklace made of corks and her sweater that looked like it had been knitted by the Hulk. She returned her attention to her eyes: so blue and large and so very unblinking. It was unnerving.

"A what now?" Darcy asked.

"A baby Snorkack."

So she'd heard it right the first time. Darcy wondered if the woman was one of the scientist working in the same center as Jane. As far as she knew, that was the only settlement for miles around. It would explain a lot if so, and she should probably herd this one back to where she belonged before she perished in the wilderness from starvation or exposure. Scientist were frail little things, and this specimen was even tinier than Jane for crying out loud.

"I'm sure you'll find it in good time. I bet they're smart creatures, right?"

The woman laughed.

"You know about them? What a brilliant stroke of luck!"

Darcy smiled at her accent. It was so adorable, she wanted to hug the syllables out of her.

"Sure! Just let me pack up and I'll show you the way. The name's Darcy, by the way."

"Luna. Luna Lovegood."

"Really?"

So. A-do-ra-ble.

Twelve minutes later, Darcy had crammed everything in her bag and slung it over her shoulder.

"This way," she said pointing towards the way she'd come.

"Are you sure? I was almost positive Snorkacks preferred the underbrush to hide from Nargles."

"Err…"

So what if she was a bit crazy? Most scientists she knew were, and Darcy was used to simply roll with the insanity.

"Yep! See that over there?" Darcy asked pointing at some random mark on the muddy ground. "That's a Snorkack's paw print for sure."

Luna took an actual magnifying glass out of her sweater's pocket to observe the made up evidence. Darcy had to bite back on a snort as it made her eye even more large than it already was.

"So it is! Well done, Miss Darcy. We might just be able to catch the poor babe before it hurts somebody."

Darcy nodded her head wisely. Rule number one: always agree with the mad scientist. Of course, it went hand in hand with rule number two: always be ready to knock them unconscious before they summon Cthulhu or destroy the very fabric of reality.

Somehow, Darcy got her charge back to the scientific research center, although she wasn't sure who had led who there. They broke out of a clump of trees near the back of the sciencey complex with its huge telescope pointed at the heavens. Under normal circumstances, they would have to walk around the high metal-link chain fence circling the place, but there just so happened to be a huge gaping hole right in front of them.

"Oh dear," Luna sing-songed. "I hope it didn't cause too much trouble."

Darcy was seriously starting to worry by this point. She was bursting at the seams to ask what the hell a fucking Snorkack was, but she couldn't very well ask now after pretending to know exactly what it was they were tracking down for the last hour or so. She kept her taser on hand, ready to fry the first thing out to get her, but she was jumping at every sound by the time they made it inside the building. One of Luna's dainty little hands wrapped around her arm while the other patted her reassuringly.

"Not to worry, Darcy. It only fights back when it feels cornered or threatened. You'll be safe with me."

Darcy blinked at Luna. That was quite possibly the first time someone had told her such a thing, and she'd been in much worse situations before. Like Oh-My-God-There's-An-Alien-Robot-Literally-Shooting-Laser-Beams-At-Me sort of danger. And what the slight woman hoped to do if they were attacked by whatever had infiltrated the compound she didn't know. And just what was a Snorkack? A bear? A lab-created monster? A Hulk? An alien?

Then she heard it. A high pitched squeal that made her cover her ears with both hands while she tried to location the source of the horrible sound. Luna didn't even falter and continued turning her along. She looked like she'd be slipping towards the danger if she Darcy wasn't holding her back. They round a corner she knew as a large corridor leading to the cafeteria but it was currently blocked off by the fire security doors and attacked them was the strangely little creature Darcy had ever seen.

It wasn't particularly scary, but man was it weird. And big. The way Luna cooed at it as she tiptoed closer could only mean this was the baby Snorkack in all its purple glory. And it had a horn. Right in the middle of its frigging forehead. All twisted and slumped, but a horn nonetheless.

"It's a fucking unicorn," Darcy muttered.

Luna glanced at her with raised eyebrows.

"Unicorns aren't purple, silly. But I guess the two might be related as a species. It's a great theory, anyhow. I'll be sure to give you credit for it in my next article."

Luna put a leash around the poney-sized unicorn and patted its silky mane, which seemed to calm the down. Darcy just gaped at her. Then, she had a sudden realization.

"You don't work here."

Luna smiled and shook her head.

"But I'd like to come back to visit again and have a cup of tea together."

Darcy nodded dumbly, not sure what to make of this woman: who she was, where she'd come from or even what she wanted. The latter became clearer however when she leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"It's a date, then."

Luna stepped back and disappeared into thin air with her purple unicorn seconds before the doors burst open, SHIELD agents surrounding her with all manner of guns pointed at her. Oh dear. She was going to have to explain all of this nonsense to Agent What's-His-Name, wasn't she?