Yoh stayed where he was, his thoughts in a tangle. He closed his eyes. A sigh. I already forgave him. It was pretty easy, I just wish I could've done it a lot sooner... I think it would have helped him to know I would have loved helping him. I wanted to save him from himself if I could... but... what now? Silence.
...Another sigh. Yoh looked at his hand, the hand he had slipped through Hao's. He could still feel the warmth from where Hao's hands had pressed against his. His eyes fell closed once more. He noticed now that the bittersweet ache was returning, now that Hao wasn't near him. I feel... completed.. When he is with me. I feel happy but... can't we just be brothers? Is that not enough? I love him but... how? This is all so confusing. Yoh's eyes twitched. He opened them, looking toward the source of all his brand new feelings. Hao was staring at him, his eyebrows furrowed a bit.
Hao... Yoh whined. Are you listening in?
Hao only smiled in response. Yoh frowned, but continued anyway. Well, if you really mean it... I guess it can't be all bad, right? But, what will everyone else think? My friends are pretty important to me Hao. I don't wanna lose them either. There was silence in Yoh's mind.
"Meaning you don't wanna lose me."
I don't want to lose you again.
"That isn't an option for you anyway Yoh, because I wouldn't give up. I would convince you that you are right for me, and I you. After all,we are one, Yoh. We are meant for each other. It matters not that we were born from the same woman, because we are the definition of a soul mate. We are our soul's counterparts."
Hao, you know I don't believe that. Mm... well, to a point. I think we are two different people. You are Hao, and I am Yoh. We are different... even if we are the same... and I think that's what makes our bond special. Yoh paused. Hao, why did you wait so long? I mean, didn't you stop to think at all that maybe the way to get me to join you was to befriend me? After watching me for so long. To reach through to me by my heart and win me over? I mean, telling me you were gonna steal my soul for yourself had me pretty put out for a while. Yoh finished in a light tone.
Hao laughed from where he was laying. "No, Yoh. I was much to arrogant to think like that. I thought I could get what I wanted, just like always. And why not? It was foolish on my behalf; I wish I would have realized that being whole would come from something as simple as being with you. Of course, it took you being pulled away from me to realize just how much I needed you. I do need you, Yoh." His tone darkened.
A pause.
...Hao, come here.
Wordlessly, Hao obeyed his brother, appearing by his side in an instant. He said nothing, waiting for his brothers next words.
"Have a seat." Yoh looked at the grass beside him. Hao sat, looking uneasily and curiously at his mirror image. "I just thought, that I needed some help deciding on whether or not I wanted to agree to this. Just to help clear something up..." Yoh leaned over to his brother, taking his face in his hands and inclining his head. Hao met him half way, not wanting to lose a chance.
When their lips met, it was like nothing else. The warmth and fullness began seeping into Yoh again, and vaguely he wondered if Hao felt the same thing. Yoh could feel one of Hao's hands running through his hair, and another sliding up the back of his shirt. Yoh accidentally let out a small moan of content at that, then pulled away with red staining his cheeks.
Hao chuckled. "You're adorable when you blush." He whispered. Hao's eyes stayed focused on his brother, watching as his words only made him blush deeper. Yoh placed a hand on the back of his neck, and made an effort to keep his eyes away from Hao. "Yoh, I have a question."
Yoh looked at him curiously. "Yes, Hao?"
"Do u ever wonder... why you aren't as strong as me?"
Yoh's eyes met the sky as he pondered his answer. "Ah... well, not really." And then he grinned his famous grin. Hao felt his heart skip a beat. "I mean, I've only lived one life, Hao, remember?"
Hao smiled. Of course he hadn't. Comparing and competing for power never was something Yoh cared for. "Do you ever think... since you obviously ARE a part of me... that you should be A LOT stronger than you are now? Because I have a secret Yoh. And I don't want to keep secrets from you, but you aren't going to like it."
Well, now Yoh's curiosity was piqued. He raised an eyebrow at his brother. "Secret, Hao?"
"About your family... and the answer to why you aren't as strong as I am."
Yoh was extremely curious, but he thought maybe if it was kept a secret from him, that there was a good reason why he didn't know. "I don't want to know, Hao. If it was kept from me, then there is a good reason it was, and so if I'm not supposed to know, I don't want to."
"You are so trusting, Yoh." Hao sighed. "It was kept from you so you wouldn't have the option of turning out like me." Hao whispered.
"...What?" Yoh turned to his brother, stunned.
"Your family was afraid you would get too powerful. After I swallowed your soul, I felt it. A seal. I could not finish accessing your power before... well, that's why it was harder for you to defeat me... But Yoh... first let me say this, when I was born into this life, I had different goals. For the few seconds I was alive in that room, I realized that maybe in this lifetime I could grow up with a family. You made me realize that, even in the womb, before you were told lies about me, you and I shared an emotional bond. But that dream died instantly when I heard of plans to kill us. They weren't even willing to give me a chance, not that they could be blamed. I rode off on the Spirit of Fire, so they wouldn't kill you, too. You were innocent. I couldn't let them hurt you. After I left I realized how much pain it cost being away from you. I returned a few years later, to check up on you, and it was because of them my hatred and anger burned alive in me once again. And it was because of me, that they had you placed under a magic seal. By protecting you, I had ultimately doomed you. To reunite, would free you, and make me whole and as powerful as I needed to be to change things." Hao paused, his eyes widening as he realized what he had just done.
There was silence for what seemed like an eternity. The wind blew, caressing the twins until finally, one of them spoke.
Yoh shook his head. "Thank you." was all he said.
And Hao understood.
Silence swayed with them in the wind, and like the wind, it was comfortable and calm. Like the wind, it died. "I really wish you would have let me in a long time ago. I didn't want either of us to go through that..."
"But I was too stubborn." Hao finished. He moved himself so that he could reach over to brush his hand across Yoh's cheek. "I don't understand these feelings any more than you do, Yoh. Maybe even less. But I really would like to give them a try." He smiled just enough so Yoh would see it. "I'd really like to figure them out with you."
"Well... as long as you're not still trying to kill me I guess its fair to agree with you on this one, Hao." Yoh said, laughing.
"Are you really as calm as you put on, Yoh? I find that hard to believe."
"No... but I'm comfortable enough with you. Now I just have to face my friends." Yoh took a deep breath. "Shouldn't be too difficult." Yoh stood and patted off his pants. "Of course, I wont actually have to tell them until I'm sure myself." He reached his hand out to his brother, helping him up. "Oh, man, but what am I gonna tell Anna?" Yoh face fell at that thought, and Hao though it was such an adorable look, he couldn't help but chuckle. Yoh was right. They were two different people. Yoh could show so many more things on that face of his, than Hao ever could. Yoh had experience with emotions. Hao's were just memories.
"Don't worry, Yoh. I'll take care of that." Yoh fidgeted. He wasn't sure he'd be comfortable with Hao's solution.
Yoh was about to walk back to the house when he realized, "Hao, where are we?"
Hao just scooped Yoh into his arms and whispered to him, "Close your eyes."
Yoh felt heat engulf him, and a strange sensation landed in the pit of his stomach. Within seconds it was gone, and Yoh opened his eyes daringly, to find his brother carrying him across the threshold. "Hao, I can walk..." he protested. Hao chuckled under his breath, laying Yoh onto his bed.
"Of course you can. Yoh... now that we... now that we're not enemies... theres so much I can do for you. I can protect you. I can protect your friends if that's what you want." His lips turned down a bit at that thought. "I can take you anywhere in the world, get you anything you want. I can teach you, and more importantly Yoh, I can learn." He sat next to his little brother, clasping his hand through Yoh's, and bringing it up to his lips. Yoh's eyes softened.
His words came out a whisper. "I'm still not completely sure, Hao... I'm not sure what I want. It's a lot to take in, in one day, you know? I think finding out you were alive would have been enough for a day." Yoh laughed lightly. "But finding out you not only love me, but you're more than IN love with me is a whole other dimension. Especially since you're my twin... and you're serious about it."
"Of course I am, Yoh. Serious is all I know how to be..." Hao said, kissing each of the fingers he held in his hand. "Sarcasm aside."
"Well... I mean, you did try to kill me. You almost succeeded. I have to consider other conclusions too, I can't ignore anything. Like the fact that maybe you're just messing with my head, and you've come to recruit me, or steal my soul while I sleep or... maybe you only want to direct me away from what I've got, away from my friends, and Anna. Delude me into thinking you're all I have. Maybe Anna out of the way is what you want. Without her, there won't be any more Asakura descendants. No one to get in your way five hundred years from now. So you see Hao... there's quite a lot to think about. Besides, my friends aren't as forgiving or as trusting as I am. They'll agree with everything I just said, but I don't wanna believe any of it. Because I always knew you weren't evil." Hao chuckled softly.
"As much as Anna gets on my nerves, Yoh... I need you to keep the family line going. I need to know that I can reincarnate with you. That I can keep you with me after this life..."
"Oh... well... gee Hao... I don't really think I'm able-"
"I can teach you Yoh. I can make you stronger. I can teach you so, so much more dear Yoh...like I've said, I don't want to become whole again. I don't wanna think about you dying, either, because I know I will go on. I always go on. But what about you? What will happen to your innocence, or your kindness, your laughter, or your strength? Who else will understand people like you do? Who will save them?"
There was silence as something registered in Yoh's mind "Er... Hao? If I really am half of you, how come the Spirit of Fire only carried YOU away?"
Hao's eyes widened. There was a moment of quiet as he chose his words. "Well... you know how you have that argument that we're two different people?" His twin nodded. "Well, we are... so completely different... you were a part of me I locked away. When the Spirit of Fire came to take me, he only recognized me...because I had the same aura I've always had. Besides, I wanted you to try living a normal life."
"Um... also... where is everyone?" Yoh had just noticed how quiet his usually loud, full house was.
"Out looking for you, of course. You've been gone a whole day, Yoh. But don't worry, when they come back you can go greet them."
"Erm.. What exactly do I tell them?"
"Whatever you want." A small smirk played on Hao's lips. "What is your argument, dear brother? Will you just waltz out there, saying, 'sorry I've disappeared everyone, I've been spending the day bonding with ex-dead brother, trying to figure out if I love him the way he loves me.'
"Hey, that doesn't sound too bad." Yoh grinned. Hao smacked him. "Ow! Well, what else am I supposed to say?"
"You could let me do the talking."
"Mmm...I dont know, it's going to be difficult enough just introducing you." Yoh pulled his hand away from Hao's, putting both his arms behind his head. He looked at Hao, surprised when he saw hurt flash through his eyes. He was a lot... different, Yoh decided. "Come on," Yoh told him, looking pointedly at his chest. Hao laid on his side, resting his head on the younger ones chest. He was still the same man... with the same anger inside and the same cold grudge... but Yoh knew he could tame all that, if Hao was being honest.
"Mm..." Hao whispered. "Never thought I would ever cherish a sound like this so much."
Yoh brought an arm out from under his head and wrapped it around his brother, and every now and then he would run it up and down Hao's back in a soothing manner. Hao's eyes closed, but he was far from sleep.
