Book 1: Renesmee

Chapter 4: Burning Man

I pondered for a moment, thinking, what would be the right question to ask. I found an interesting thought, with much curiosity, it was beneath many simple, easily answered questions, and some also understandable even without the need to ask the question. Uncle Jake had told me before, that he had seen Daddy in a lot of pain once. He told me that at that time, he still hated our family very much, and found it amusing when anyone in our family was in pain, or annoyed, but in Daddy's case, he did not feel the least bit amused, and that was how convincing Daddy's agony was. It meant that Daddy was in extreme agony. Uncle Jake called him 'The Burning Man', as he appeared as if he was being burnt alive, the scorching fire burning him in first degree. Uncle Jake could see very obviously his First-Degree burns. I asked him about the cause for that horrible depression, but he didn't say anything but "Secret." I wanted to know.

"Uncle Jake told me that he saw you, in real agony, before. He called you The Burning Man. Why?"

Daddy shrugged his shoulders. His eyebrows fell into a perfect 'V' and he pursed his lips into a straight solid line. He looked like he was deep in thought, yet also looking like he was avoiding the question.

"Tell me, please?" I fluttered my eyelids, making me look oh so cute and innocent. He sighed, rolled his liquid-topaz colored eyes, and half-smiled. Then he chuckled. Holy crow! Had he gone insane trying to find ways to avoid my question? I knew that it was a totally irrelevant cause for his insanity, and really child-like to think like that, but it was a possibility!

"What are you laughing at?" I asked, very annoyed. They had all been laughing at me these days, and I didn't find that really funny. Maybe they had all gone insane! All of them!

"Nothing, and not you."Daddy looked at the floor, and smiled again, this time it was like he was smiling at some kind of black humor, to me he was looking a little creepy. Where did his sanity go? I'd run a thousand miles to help him catch it back and then shove it back into his head just so that I could get an answer from him, and stop all the creepy laughing. "You just remind me of Bella. She told me once that she got information out of Jacob, the legend of his tribe about the cold ones, by trying to flirt with him and she did exactly what you did. I never got to see it with my own eyes how exactly she did that to Jake. Now I know. Ha-ha."He started the laughing again, just that it was not creepy this time. It was the sound of real joy and laughter, real pleasure.

I could hear from the outside a little conversation going on.

Oh so that time you tried to flirt with me to get information from me!

I did not!

Apparently it didn't occur to me. You know why?

Why?

Because you didn't even seem like you were flirting. You looked like you had something in your eyes, and I almost offered to help you blow it out. Ha-ha! Uncle Jake was teasing Mommy.

Thanks a lot, EDWARD. Mummy emphasized on Daddy's name. Not only did you bust me, you gave him a reason to humiliate and offend me too! Thanks so much!

Mommy and Uncle Jake were having a bit of a heated argument, I mean, it was one-sided. Mommy was mad, but Uncle Jake was laughing the guts out of himself. He had been funnier these few years, maybe because he was getting used to vampires. Their one-sided argument would not have been heard from all the way inside here if it weren't for the extraordinary vampire senses, so I guess that wasn't supposed to be overheard. Well that was one thing that I had benefitted from being a vampire.

"Half-" Daddy paused, "vampire. Vampires don't benefit much. We're frozen, never moving forward. You have a heart that pumps blood, that lets you blush, being human is way better than being a vampire. We're born to kill, humans aren't. So you're half vampire and half human, that's… Good, but not better. When you reach 17, you'll run out of possibilities, maybe some will remain, but the rest won't. You'll never grow old, and live a normal happy life, because every now and then you'd have to do something monstrous, and it is to kill, for blood." He sighed, "Sometimes I wished I had left at that time when Bella had not known me well yet, thinking that I hated her, wished I had left the first day she had seen me. At least you would have possibilities, grow old, live a normal life, not having the crave for blood when you're thirsty. If I had left you'd probably be Jacob's daughter."

Why were we talking about me? Possibilities? Frozen, never moving forward? I did not understand.

"Oh, so, the burning man? I really shouldn't talk about this. I… Uh, you… I feel ashamed of talking about this, Renesmee. If I had succeeded in convincing Bella," He hesitated for s moment. "You wouldn't be beside me right now. Breathing. Being alive." He dug his face into the palms of his hands. He looked really ashamed. "In the first few days you were sort of killing-" He cringed at the word, "Bella. We did not know what exactly you wanted. We forced down all the food, but she ended up in worse condition, throwing up all the food she swallowed. We wanted to get you out of her stomach, kill you. But she did not want us to do that, and so did Rosalie. Rosalie watched her, took care of her, not giving us any chance to kill you. You were breaking her bones. She broke 2 ribs, and almost her pelvis, but she still held a smile, one that unsucceedingly tried to hide the pain. She died while you were chewing your way out. Luckily the venom was injected before she was really dead, or it would have meant no return, dead, not frozen. Really dead. No heartbeat, no breathing. Just dead." If he could produce tears, he would have been crying now. I understood what Uncle Jake had meant by first-degree burns. The look on his face, the agony in his voice when he talked about me killing Mommy, hurting Mommy, and how she tried so hard to comfort him through all that pain I was causing her, had shown it all.

I felt so guilty. So that 'secret' was me. I was the cause for those burns.

"No, you're not. Ever since then, you were the one who healed my burns. You are the greatest thing that ever happened in my life since Bella married me, though the first month was hell-wrecking."Daddy kissed my forehead.

"I am curious you know, why did Rosalie oppose to you killing me? I was killing Mommy. I'm also curious, how did all of you become vampires? I know you injected Mommy with venom, so that was how she became one. But how did the rest of you? Like, you?"

"I was dying from a deadly influenza in a hospital in Chicago in the early wanted a companion so much, and since I had only a few hours to live, he took me, so here I am. For the rest of them, you should ask them yourself. I hate giving away the good stuff, keep you in suspense?" Daddy explained patiently.

I guessed that I had a new mission, to get to know everyone else's past, starting with the one I had the most unanswered questions about, Aunt Rosalie.