Author's notes: Here's chapter 4. Yeah, still unbetaed... but I hope still pass-worthy. :) Pardon any mistakes, plotholes or inaccuracies.
Sorry, everyone... I was going to post this last night, but after uploading it, ff dot net suddenly stopped loading for me. I couldn't save my changes, couldn't post the new chapter... couldn't even log in. Even my profile wasn't loading. Anyway...
Thanks to Daisyangel, martina aka the Celt, Sarai and Sue1313 for your reviews and support. I'm so glad you like my humble fic. I'm aware that the beginning might be boring and hard to read, but this is the founding fic. Later stories should be more interesting, as with the Mag 7 Little Britches stories - I confess, I already have some planned. But first, I have to get through this one.
Sue1313 - Yes, I agree. Gideon and Spencer had such an amazing dynamic on the show. I was so disappointed that Mandy had to leave and break it.
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Chapter 4
"Let us follow our destiny, ebb and flow. Whatever may happen, we master fortune by accepting it." ~ Virgil
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"I don't believe this." Hotch watched as Rossi carried Spencer carefully into the cabin, while Emily herded JJ and little Morgan in after him. The BAU leader was still rather in a state of shock. How had he let them talk him into this? Dang it, but he worked with profilers… Profilers who knew exactly which of Hotch's buttons to push to get him to agree to something.
Gideon was smiling.
Hotch rolled his eyes and fought the urge to smile as well. "Stop that," he grumbled.
"What?" The older man was the picture of innocence.
"You know what."
"Now, Hotch, you have to admit it's a good idea, a perfect solution. And besides, it's only for a few days…"
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Hotch carried Derek over to the team again as Aileen Chow, looking decidedly unsettled and upset, got slowly to her feet. Facing the children, she said, "Thank you, all of you, for telling me the truth about what really happened to you. I can promise you, an investigation will be opened into the affairs of that home, and if what you have told me is true, children, I can promise you that Mr and Mrs Buford will never, ever, be allowed to take children into their home again. Okay?"
Three little heads turned to her, and JJ asked, "They won't hurt any more kids no more?"
Chow shook her head. "Never."
"Good." JJ accepted that answer, and spoke her approval on behalf of all three kids.
Derek slipped from Hotch's arms and onto the bed behind JJ, seemingly having had enough of being held. Now that he knew the boy's past experiences, Hotch fully understood why, too – JJ had mentioned that he didn't like being touched, well, that was a common reaction for victims of sexual abuse. They'd have to work on that – no, he corrected himself, the family that took them in would have to work on helping Derek regain his trust. Not them. The boy wasn't going to be with them for very much longer – and he'd miss him, JJ, too.
Aileen carried on after a moment, her expression turning serious, and she did not meet any of the team's eyes as she informed the children, "I know that Agent Hotchner made you a promise, children, and he told me about it too so that I would know to find a home for you that is willing to take in three children all at once. The thing is, I couldn't find one other than the Bufords', so right now, I have nowhere to put you all. And then Agent Gideon called me and asked me about something very important, and now I will tell you what he said."
Gideon started, eyes fixed on Aileen, before shifting to look at Spencer in tense, hopeful silence.
"You see – Gideon has asked me if it would be all right if he became your foster father, Spencer."
The little brown-haired boy looked up at her in surprise, his spectacles wobbling on his nose as he responded, "Foster father? What does that mean?"
Aileen smiled. "It means, Spencer, that Gideon would like to become your guardian. Someone who takes care of you like you're his son, and he's your father – even though you are not related by blood."
"Oh." Spencer looked at Gideon in surprise. "You asked her that, Jason, really?"
"Wow," JJ looked at Spencer in uncertain awe. "But wait. Does that mean you'll have to stay here when Ms Chow finds us a family later?"
"It takes time to approve a foster parent, JJ, but yes, ultimately, it would mean that Spencer becomes Jason's responsibility and would have to stay with him." The social worker tried to explain.
They were all expecting Derek to react, perhaps angrily, to this idea that they were splitting them up after all. But to their surprise, the older boy remained silent, and it was Spencer who exploded and burst into tears – and not the happy kind.
"Spencer, what's wrong?" Gideon asked, distressed by the tears and rather surprised, though he tried to hide it behind his normal mask of intensity. He hadn't expected such a reaction from the boy to the idea of having him as a foster dad, and was suddenly having second thoughts about his decision. If Spencer didn't want this…
Derek glanced at Gideon, then moved closer to Spencer, JJ right behind him. Patting the smaller boy gently on the shoulder, then pulling him into a hug, he let Spencer cry for a while, before saying, soft but clear: "Spencer. You should go with Agent Gideon. It's all right. JJ and I don't mind."
JJ nodded. "Yeah, we're happy for you, Spence. It means that somebody wants you to be their little boy, and you deserve that. You'll have family."
Spencer sniffled, shaking his head. "I don't wanna. I don't wanna leave you and JJ. I promised too. I said I'd stay with you both, and Mom used to say there's nothing worse than breaking a promise." He looked at Jason with tears streaming down his cheeks. "I like you," he said, "I want to go home with you and be your little boy – but I want to stay with Derek and JJ too."
That was it – there was the problem. The six-year-old was torn between his friends and Gideon, whom he too had grown to love. No matter what Derek and JJ said, he still loved them and even though he was only six he knew, somehow, deep in his gut, that if Derek and JJ left, he would never see them again, and his little heart was almost broken. He couldn't bear it.
Derek patted his friend gently on the back. "Aw, Spencer. Chances like this don't come around every day for kids like us. There's a man here that wants to be your dad, wants to take you in and take care of you, and we already know he's different from the Bufords. I want that for you, Spencer, we both do. JJ and me want you to have a family, the chance to go to school and just be a normal kid."
"Yeah," JJ nodded.
The youngest sobbed a little more, clinging to Derek. Gideon turned away, swallowing hard, and Emily and Rossi both glanced at him before averting their gazes sympathetically. Hotch looked at his old friend with regret – this was why he'd wanted to talk to Gideon first, but he hadn't know that Aileen was going to bring this up so soon.
As Spencer wept, he began to speak again, indignant and scared and upset enough to air his mind – not that he had been afraid before, but finally the heart and desires of the six-year-old broke through the barriers he'd been taught to put up and exploded out in rapid, hitching sentences.
"Why… can't… we all… stay with Jason? It.. isn't fair! It just… isn't!"
Emily's eyes widened, and then she said, "Spencer, you might have an idea there."
That got the child's attention, and he looked up, sniffling. "Huh?"
They all looked at her, the adults all raising questioning eyebrows, which she ignored.
"Gideon, you have your cabin in the woods, and it's a nice big place, isn't it? Why don't you and Hotch take the kids there? They can stay with you, stay together until Aileen finds them a place willing to take all three of them, or if Spencer changes his mind -" Spencer shook his head vehemently at this "- then just Derek and JJ. Or not." Emily looked around triumphantly. "It's a good idea, and since you're FBI agents, I'm sure Ms Chow and the family courts will have no objections to the kids staying with you for a while. Just temporarily, until we figure out a next step."
They were nearly thrown out of the hospital for the uproar that started within the next few minutes. The children all beamed, and broke into a barrage of questions, and the adults all had their own reactions as well. Gideon had broken into a relieved and grateful grin, Rossi was nodding thoughtfully, and Hotch was just – stunned. Aileen Chow grinned at the BAU team and nodded to Prentiss.
"That's actually a very good idea," she admitted. "It does solve all our problems, doesn't it?"
"It sure does," JJ said enthusiastically. "Does that mean we get to stay with Agent Hotchner for a while longer?"
"Sounds like it, kiddo," Rossi told her, and she beamed. Next thing Aaron knew, he had an armful of joy-filled little girl and a pair of skinny arms wrapped around his neck in what felt like a choke-hold, but was really just JJ hugging him as tightly as she could. Instinctively, he caught her, and knew he was caught, too.
Derek grinned shyly and looked down at the bed. Secretly, he liked the idea, though he wasn't sure that Agent Hotchner was quite as happy about it as the rest. Still, the man was smiling at JJ, settling her on his hip and holding her tight, and he said nothing as the social worker got up, saying that she would start the paperwork to name him and Jason Gideon – because three children would be a handful just for Agent Gideon alone – temporary guardians of all three children. Just until they found a new place. The words reminded Derek that this was just that – temporary. Still… he liked the idea, too, though he had no idea why. But he knew he liked these people, and to spend just a little more time with Hotch and the team didn't seem like such a terrible thing to do.
He'd have to shield his heart though, or he'd just get hurt again. Drawing on his walls, he steadied himself and prepared himself to do whatever he needed to do to get through the next few days.
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It was the first time that the cabin had felt like a real home to Gideon. The children were all over it, even Spencer, who had been released on doctor's orders that he take it easy, but the child seemed to think that walking just a little slower than he'd used to before getting hurt qualified somehow – it didn't. Still, none of them stopped him from following the other two and exploring the house, until Gideon gently picked him up and gave all three a quick tour. He had one bathroom, two bedrooms, one study, one living/common area, a kitchen area and a back porch, from which he could watch the sunrise every morning when he came here. It wasn't all that big inside, but thanks to his furniture arrangement, it was spacious and roomy, and definitely comfortable enough for two men and one child – he would take care of converting his study into a bedroom for the three children later, so they would have a place to sleep.
What was more important was that the place was bigger than Aaron's townhouse and his apartment, and had more room for the three to run wild and hopefully feel comfortable, away from the prying eyes of neighbors and other people.
While the children discovered the TV in the living room – one he rarely used when he came here, since it defeated the whole purpose of peace and relaxation – Gideon enlisted Hotch and Rossi's help in settling the sleeping situation. The study already had two bunks (in storage there, as he hadn't space to keep them otherwise), which they pushed together to make space for a third bed, and then a quick check in his storeroom at the back revealed an old rollaway, which had also come with the cabin when he'd purchased it. It was a little dusty, but working together, the men soon had it clean and usable. Hotch rolled up his sleeves and delved deep into the linen cabinet, emerging with bedsheets, pillow cases, pillows, and some blankets.
"Jason," he asked, with an arched eyebrow. "Has anyone even seen the inside of your linen cabinet recently?"
The profiler paused in the middle of helping Rossi to adjust the position of the other beds and looked back at Hotch. "A bit dusty?"
"That's an understatement, Jason… Yes."
The older man frowned. "Think I should wash the sheets before we give them to the kids?"
"Well, it's a warm night," Rossi pointed out. "The kids can probably handle one night without sheets and such – might even be used to it, not that that's a good thing, but I doubt they had so much on the streets. You wash them tonight, hang them up tomorrow, and by tomorrow night they should be dry."
"And for now, we could pretend!"
They all turned to see a slightly sheepish Emily Prentiss standing at the doorway, behind the three children, who had bathed and changed into yet another set of clothes. They'd come up behind the men so unexpectedly that none of them had sensed them until little JJ had spoken up.
"Pretend, JJ?" Gideon studied her, wondering what she meant, and hoping it wasn't what he thought it did.
She shrugged her thin shoulders. "Yeah. In the warehouse, we didn't have blankets, so we used old, flat pieces of cardboards that we found and pretended they were blankets, or sometimes we found cloths that people threw away. It wasn't that bad. So if you don't have any clean sheets for us, Agent Gideon, we can just pretend."
Gideon swallowed, and saw that the other adults were equally affected by that simple, practical statement. None of them liked thinking about what the children must have endured in the past year, on their own on the streets. Seeing that JJ was waiting for an answer, he shook his head. "That wouldn't make me a very good host, JJ," he pointed out as gently as he could. "As long as you stay here, what I have is yours. You kids can use my blankets, and Hotch's. We won't need them tonight."
"I can head back to my place, pick up some sheets along with my overnight bag," Hotch suggested, and Gideon nodded in agreement.
For the first time, it occurred to Gideon to wonder why Hotch was going along with this whole thing, whether he even realized what it implied that he was still choosing to stay here, in the cabin with Gideon and the kids, instead of just leaving them to Gideon and disappearing back to his home. Of course, Emily had suggested that he stay here at first so that he could help Gideon, and be here in case JJ and Derek, who had bonded to him, unexpectedly needed him. But Hotch could still choose to shrug it off and leave. He hadn't, and apparently wasn't going to. Gideon smiled to himself – whether the other man wanted to admit it or not, he was doing this for the kids, because somewhere in his subconscious, deep inside, he didn't want to leave.
And if Gideon played his cards right and helped Hotch to listen to what was important, he might just assure the future of three children, and their team.
After all, people already called them close enough to be family.
Now he felt he had a solution that was even better than Emily's.
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Stepping out onto the back porch later that night, Hotch left the children inside with Gideon and dialed a familiar number. His ex-wife answered on the second ring.
"Hello?"
He cleared his throat. "Hey, Haley. It's me, Aaron."
A brief pause, and then – "Oh. What do you want? Jack's getting ready for bed."
"Can I talk to him?" Hotch pleaded softly. "Just for a few minutes? There's something important I have to talk to him about."
"Let me guess. You just wrapped up a terrible case?"
"What? Oh. No. Haley, can't I want to talk to my own son even without having worked a bad case?" He rubbed at his temple and sighed. "Not that the last one wasn't bad."
"They all are, aren't they?"
He heard Haley sigh, then call to someone in the background, and was strangely relieved. He'd been half-afraid she would tell him to call back in the morning, and then that would be the end of it – it had taken him enough time to work up the courage to even make this call, and to have to wait until the next day…
"Daddy?"
It was like a load off his chest, just to hear his five-year-old son on the other end of the line. An instant smile came to his face, and he replied, "Hey, Jack. Brushed your teeth already?"
There was a giggle. "Yep. All clean, Daddy. You can't see over the phone, but Mommy says they's sparkling."
"Good, good." His grin grew broader, and love filled his heart and voice. "Hey, Jack?"
"What?"
There was an admonition from either his mother or his aunt, and he corrected himself quickly. "I mean, yes, Daddy?"
Hotch chuckled. His smile faded a little as he thought carefully about how to phrase this. "Jack, listen. I have a little girl and two boys with me now, I found them living on the streets during my last case, and they have no Mommy or Daddy, and are staying with me and Gideon for a little while. I was wondering – would it be okay for me to lend them some of your old clothes and toys which you don't wear or play with anymore?"
He didn't want his son to think he was being replaced, and so emphasized on the word 'lend'. "It's just temporary, they won't be here for very long. Their social worker is trying to find a family for them, and in the meantime, they need -"
"They don't have a family?" Jack's small voice cut him off, in saddened wonder. "That's awful, Daddy. I have Mommy and Aunt Jessica at least, and you on the weekends – you mean they don't have anyone at all?"
Hotch could only imagine what his ex-wife was making of all this, but for now, his focus was on the sadness in his son's voice – once again, Jack Hotchner and his big heart had truly put him to shame. He'd assumed his son would start thinking that Aaron was replacing him with these other children, and would be jealous and upset, but here the child had latched on to the idea that these children had no family and were all alone, and was going from there. Where had his son's generous, giving nature come from?
"Well, for now, they have me and Gideon and the team," he said lightly, trying to reassure his son. "You don't mind sharing your old dad with them for a while, do you, Jack?"
Jack surprised him further with the eagerness in his voice as he replied, "No, Daddy, not at all! That's great, especially if they're nice kids. You can be their Daddy too, for a while! They can pretend. I don't mind if they do. You can lend them my teddy and my other toys if you want, Daddy, if they're sad and want to play. I have toys here, I don't need them."
Hotchner wished that he could reach through the phone and kiss his son. Swallowing twice to get his voice working again, he managed to say, "Thanks, Jack. That's very kind of you."
"No problem, Daddy. Mommy says I gotta go to bed now. Goodnight, Dad, I love you! Give those kids a hug from me, okay?"
Throat constricting, all Hotch could do was whisper, "I will. Night, Jack. I love you, son."
"Bye!" Jack blew kisses into the phone with a giggle, then handed the phone to someone, who hung up for him. Hotch closed his phone. There was a warm fuzzy feeling deep inside him, and a genuine smile on his face.
Engrossed in his thoughts as he was, he never saw that someone was watching him from the barely lit darkness as he slipped his phone back into his pocket and headed back inside.
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Gideon met him on the way in with a beer. "Prentiss and Rossi had to head back – apparently this place is a little too out in the boonies, so it's quite a drive to town." He smiled – that was, of course, the point of him having a cabin in the middle of nowhere. It was out of the way and far from civilization.
Hotch nodded, knowing his coworkers needed to head home and rest. "The kids?"
"JJ went out after you, and the boys are working on a giant jigsaw they found – it's 5000-pieces, so I don't expect anything to come of it tonight," the older man said. He paused. "You called Jack and Haley, didn't you?"
"I did." Hotch confirmed, meeting his gaze. "I wanted to check if Jack was okay with the idea of sharing some of his old clothes and toys with them – I'll pick them up tomorrow or something and bring them here. There are some he's never worn or played with, and I think they'll fit Spencer, at least until we can buy them all new clothes." Then, he frowned. "I didn't see JJ outside, Jason."
Gideon frowned. "Well, maybe you missed her. Did you lock the door? Maybe she was locked out by mistake – you'd better check and let her in if she is."
Hotch groaned. "Sorry."
"Apologize to JJ when you find her," his friend waved it off. "She can't have gone far."
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It was a good thing he'd bumped into Gideon in the end, or they might not have realized, that yes, JJ had followed him outside, and yes, Hotch had accidentally locked her out. The little girl was frantically knocking on the door when he found her, and she glommed onto Hotch in complete and uncharacteristic silence the minute he opened the door. He did apologize, but wasn't sure if JJ even heard, from how tightly she clung to him, trembling uncontrollably.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were there, JJ," Hotch repeated again, just in case, but again, there was no response, just a tightening of her arms around him and a softly breathed sigh against his throat. Starting to become alarmed, wondering what on earth could have scared her so badly, he just held her, nonetheless knowing that there wasn't much he could do until she had calmed down a little.
Carefully, he carried the little girl carefully into the house, moving slowly and making as few sudden movements as he could. JJ was pale and frightened still, though being inside and out of the dark and cold seemed to help a little. She turned her head away from the sounds of happy play that came from the living room, and Hotch took the hint and tried to avoid that area altogether, guessing that she wasn't ready to rejoin the boys.
He hadn't counted on Derek's "radar", which seemed able to activate itself each time one of his "siblings" was hurt or upset.
"JJ?" The older boy came quickly towards them, abandoning the puzzle he'd been working on, closely followed by Gideon and Spencer who was holding his chest as he moved; a sign that the smaller boy was becoming tired and upset. Derek moved closer to JJ and Aaron, a protective expression on his face as he looked accusingly up at the BAU leader. "What did you do to her?"
Hotch raised an eyebrow.
"What makes you think he did something, Derek?" Gideon asked quietly from the back, placing two hands on Spencer's shoulders as the upset child backed towards him for comfort. He had seen JJ, and was clearly frightened at the paleness of her face and the strangeness of the silence that surrounded her.
Derek scowled and fell silent, but when he looked at JJ again he seemed more worried than angry. Guessing that the boy was simply concerned about the little girl who was like a sister to him and reacting according to his emotion-based instincts, Hotch bent a little to Derek's eye level and said clearly, "I am not Carl Buford, Derek. I would never hurt JJ on purpose. I think I scared her badly without meaning to, but I did not hurt her."
"He didn't see JJ following him earlier, when he went outside," Gideon helped him explain.
"Yes, and I locked the door behind me when I came back in, not seeing that JJ was still outside. I didn't do it on purpose, or because I wanted to lock her out," Hotch finished, and felt the little girl stiffen suddenly in his arms. Going completely on guesswork from what he knew of their past, he asked, "Did Mrs Buford lock her out of the house before? Perhaps as a punishment?"
Derek shrugged, but then, to Hotch's immense relief, a tiny voice whispered a 'yes' into the side of his neck.
"I was bad. I came home after sunset, and we weren't s'posed to," JJ said, still not sounding completely like JJ, but it was a start. "I didn't know the rules, and no one tol' me, and I had to stay outside all night in the dark and I was only little and it was scary. And when I followed you just now, and couldn't get back in, I 'membered and got scared all over again."
Hotch ran a hand up and down the thin little back soothingly. Flashbacks of their past. No wonder.
"I thought maybe you were punishing me for going out after dark without permission, and I didn't know I wasn't s'posed to," the little girl finished, in a small voice that broke on the end of her sentence, and she burst into tears against Hotch's shoulder.
The hardened profiler felt his heart break at the abject fear and desolation in the small voice, and the realization that JJ's heart was also broken because she thought that she had disobeyed him and let him down somehow, and for some reason, that had terrified her worse than the idea of being left outside all night. Was he truly that frightening to her?
He had to clear his throat twice before he managed to speak. Derek and Spencer were watching him closely for his reaction, and Gideon simply smiled at him over the boys' heads and gave him a little nod that said he would let Hotch handle this one.
"Come here, you three," Aaron said softly, and he led them all out to the back once more. JJ tensed in his arms, and the boys both looked worried too, but he smiled at them and that seemed to put them at ease somewhat.
"I wasn't punishing you, JJ," he said, as he exited into the sweet caress of the night breeze and the chirping of the crickets and bullfrogs. "I'd never punish you that way, because in my house, there is no such thing as a rule that says children who come back later than their curfew will be punished by being locked outside the whole night in the dark and cold. Never, do you hear me?" He locked eyes with each child until they nodded, and only then did he continue speaking. "If we do set a curfew, it would be for your own safety, because it isn't safe for even adults to be outside at night, where anything could happen to them. But if you broke curfew, maybe you'd have to stay inside an extra hour the next day, or have to go without dessert after dinner – because that's how things are supposed to be done with children. Punishments need to be fair, and should fit the crime – and they should never be about fear or pain. I know some people believe that fear and harsh discipline is the only way to control children, but I have never, never believed in that, because when I was a child, my father was one of those people, and I swore that I would never let my children go through what I did. Did you know that he beat me, and my mother too? And I promised myself that if I ever became a father, I'd never ever be like him, because I believed – and still do – that he was wrong."
JJ gaped at him. "Your Daddy beat you?"
"And your mother?" Spencer crawled into his lap, and Hotch picked him up with his other arm as he made himself comfortable on the steps of the porch. Derek settled beside him, a new expression in his eyes and face as he regarded Hotch.
"Really?" the older boy wanted to know.
Hotch nodded. "He sure did. I don't tell many people this, but I think you three should know, so that you know that you never have to expect such harsh punishments from me, no matter what. If you do something wrong, we'll tell you first, all right, and it's only if you do it again after you know it's wrong that we'll punish you – but we'll never hurt you, and we'll never do something to you that causes you to be afraid or in pain. All right?" He looked at Derek. "Can you believe that?"
The boy averted his gaze. "I guess so," he mumbled uncertainly, even as Spencer and JJ both nodded with childlike solemnity, JJ wiping at her tears with her sleeve as she snuggled closer to Hotch.
Knowing that it was the best he'd get from Derek right now, with this sudden shock, Hotch let the matter drop. The boy had been through enough that it would take actual proof and tender treatment to mend the wounds of his past and earn his trust again. Adjusting his grip on both younger children, he turned his gaze towards the woods and sky and added, "Now, for the other reason we're here."
They all looked at him again, still uncertain, but curious. Smiling, he motioned for them to look up.
"The reason so many people are afraid of night-time, my mother once said, is because they always focus on how dark it is, and they never look up and see the light. She taught me how to watch the stars and moon and planets, instead of focusing on the darkness, and now I'm going to teach you the same thing, so that you'll – hopefully – find the night a bit less scary. JJ, see that arrangement of stars up there?"
The little girl looked up hesitantly, and nodded. "Yeah."
"Try and play connect-the-dots with them. Do they make a picture?"
"Uh…"
He leaned back as all three squinted up at the sky, JJ holding up a finger and trying to do as she had been asked. After a while, she shook her head, giving up, but Derek ventured, "Um… is it kinda like a man wearing a belt? Maybe? I can sort of see his body anyway."
"It sure is. That's Orion, the hunter. Those three stars make up his belt, and that over there is the tip of his arrow. You'll like this, Spencer – Orion is connected to Greek mythology, and there's a story behind his constellation in the sky."
"What's a constellation?"
"He's a Greek?"
"How's that bunch of stars look like a man? I don't see it."
"Well…"
When Gideon came out of the house later, it was to find three sleepy but content children leaning against Hotch, watching the stars high above, and an equally content man holding a boy and girl in his arms, while another leaned against him, swaying drowsily. Hotch gave him a smile as Gideon came over to pull Derek into his arms, so that the other man could handle JJ and Spencer.
"Everything all right?" the older man questioned softly, looking at Hotch over Derek's head.
Taking a moment to look at the two sleeping children he was carrying, the normally unsmiling man nodded in confirmation.
"I hope so," he murmured softly. "We'll have to see how tomorrow goes."
Gideon nodded. "Oh," he said, just loud enough for Hotch to hear, "I'm sure it will all work out."
And never mind if he was the only one who understood the double meaning behind his own words.
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"Perhaps we cannot prevent this world from being a world in which children are tortured. But we can reduce the number of tortured children."
~ Albert Camus
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