(Still at a hotel room in Los Angeles)
Aro: Okay, we all know what needs to happen
Carlisle: I know, I know, at some point in this story were going to have to make out *to self* stupid author…
Aro: Well, yes, but what I meant was it's time to kill Selena Gomez!
Renesmee: And we'll also take out that slut Vanessa Hudgens!
Jacob: Yesss!!!!! Finally!!!!!!!
Esme: Okay, who should we kill first?
Alice: *scans future* well, it looks like Selena Gomez Is recording songs with the poser posse, aka the scene, right now, and Vanessa Slut-gens will be making yet another album full of meaningless songs afterward. So, The Wizard chick dies first!
Jasper: All right!!!
Emmett: but we'll need a plan!
Rosalie: ooh, I've got one *whispers*
Esme: Holy cheese that's horrible! It's perfect!
Aro: Whoo! Let's go kick two Disney slut butts!
(At the recording studio)
Selena Gomez: Smile for the camera everybody's looking at you!!!! Wow that was like, the best rock song Eva!!!!
Edward: you wouldn't know rock if it hit you in the face!
Selena Gomez: Nobody says that to me!
Rosalie: oh, you'd be surprised how many intelligent people do!
Selena Gomez: Well, I see your point. But the scene is still alternative rock!
Alice: actually, it's crappy bubblegum pop with cheap guitar riffs thrown in!
Selena Gomez: Well, so are you, you…uh…cheese heads!
Jasper: that's the best you can come up with, skank?
Emmett: enough chit chat! DIE POSER POSSE!
*they drain the band members*
Aro: that was good! Ha ha, why didn't I start eating talentless losers a million years ago?
Carlisle: because, fortunately for the humans of that time, there was no Disney a million years ago!
Renesmee: We're not finished yet! Remember, today's task is not yet complete! Now for phase to of the mission: Vanessa Hudgens
*mission impossible theme plays*
Esme: alright, let's go!
(In the other room of the recording studios)
Vanessa Hudgens: ohhhahohhh everyday I try to play another game but my heart can't taaake iiit…
Carlisle: *pretending to be a crazed fan* OME, it's Vanessa Hudgens!
Vanessa Hudgens: Holy sheet, your that guy from twilight! Will you make me a vampire?
Carlisle: uhh…sure. In fact, why don't we all bit you so you'll uh…be more powerful…yeah
*the Cullens enter and pretend like their going to bite her*
Vanessa Hudgens: you…freakin'… *dies*
(Back at the hotel)
Renesmee: Woot! This calls for celebration!
Bella: Crank up the music! And make sure it's non-disney!
Edward: no problemo!
Radio: we are the lazy generation. No more standing out in liiine…so good at wasting our time…
Alice: but the question remains…who is next?
Jasper: I have an idea. *turns on the TV*
TV: London: oh no, I forgot how to count
*laugh track plays*
Maddie: did you even know how in the first place?
*laugh track plays*
Emmett: how is this even considered comedy?
Rosalie: that's not important. What IS important is that tomorrow, we end it!!!!!! London Tipton must die!
Everyone: mu ha ha ha ha!
