(Still at a hotel room in Los Angeles)

Aro: Okay, we all know what needs to happen

Carlisle: I know, I know, at some point in this story were going to have to make out *to self* stupid author…

Aro: Well, yes, but what I meant was it's time to kill Selena Gomez!

Renesmee: And we'll also take out that slut Vanessa Hudgens!

Jacob: Yesss!!!!! Finally!!!!!!!

Esme: Okay, who should we kill first?

Alice: *scans future* well, it looks like Selena Gomez Is recording songs with the poser posse, aka the scene, right now, and Vanessa Slut-gens will be making yet another album full of meaningless songs afterward. So, The Wizard chick dies first!

Jasper: All right!!!

Emmett: but we'll need a plan!

Rosalie: ooh, I've got one *whispers*

Esme: Holy cheese that's horrible! It's perfect!

Aro: Whoo! Let's go kick two Disney slut butts!

(At the recording studio)

Selena Gomez: Smile for the camera everybody's looking at you!!!! Wow that was like, the best rock song Eva!!!!

Edward: you wouldn't know rock if it hit you in the face!

Selena Gomez: Nobody says that to me!

Rosalie: oh, you'd be surprised how many intelligent people do!

Selena Gomez: Well, I see your point. But the scene is still alternative rock!

Alice: actually, it's crappy bubblegum pop with cheap guitar riffs thrown in!

Selena Gomez: Well, so are you, you…uh…cheese heads!

Jasper: that's the best you can come up with, skank?

Emmett: enough chit chat! DIE POSER POSSE!

*they drain the band members*

Aro: that was good! Ha ha, why didn't I start eating talentless losers a million years ago?

Carlisle: because, fortunately for the humans of that time, there was no Disney a million years ago!

Renesmee: We're not finished yet! Remember, today's task is not yet complete! Now for phase to of the mission: Vanessa Hudgens

*mission impossible theme plays*

Esme: alright, let's go!

(In the other room of the recording studios)

Vanessa Hudgens: ohhhahohhh everyday I try to play another game but my heart can't taaake iiit…

Carlisle: *pretending to be a crazed fan* OME, it's Vanessa Hudgens!

Vanessa Hudgens: Holy sheet, your that guy from twilight! Will you make me a vampire?

Carlisle: uhh…sure. In fact, why don't we all bit you so you'll uh…be more powerful…yeah

*the Cullens enter and pretend like their going to bite her*

Vanessa Hudgens: you…freakin'… *dies*

(Back at the hotel)

Renesmee: Woot! This calls for celebration!

Bella: Crank up the music! And make sure it's non-disney!

Edward: no problemo!

Radio: we are the lazy generation. No more standing out in liiine…so good at wasting our time…

Alice: but the question remains…who is next?

Jasper: I have an idea. *turns on the TV*

TV: London: oh no, I forgot how to count

*laugh track plays*

Maddie: did you even know how in the first place?

*laugh track plays*

Emmett: how is this even considered comedy?

Rosalie: that's not important. What IS important is that tomorrow, we end it!!!!!! London Tipton must die!

Everyone: mu ha ha ha ha!