I woke up in the emergency room, with doctors and nurses I had never seen before bustling about what seemed to be a fairly private room.

"My baby…" I mumbled. I looked down and saw that I was bleeding.

"I'm going to roll your shirt up now, okay, Rachel?" one of the doctors asked.

I nodded numbly, checking the door for any sign of Finn. There was a red stain between my legs. I didn't know what was happening. Everything in the emergency room was loud and fast. I just wanted to see someone that I knew. "Is Doctor Grant coming?" I whispered.

"We paged him," the doctor answered.

"What about my husband? Finn? Has anyone talked to him yet?"

"I can check on that as soon as we're done here," she tried to reassure me, spreading cold jelly across my abdomen. She put the transducer in the jelly and started to move it around as another doctor turned the monitor away so I couldn't see it. Both of their faces remained a mystery as she moved back and forth, seemingly studying the images I couldn't view.

"How is she?" I asked. "Is she okay? What's happening?"

Neither one of them answered me.

I jumped every time I heard what sounded like a heart beat, only to be repeatedly informed that it was only the uterine artery. The two doctors bent together and whispered just quietly enough that I couldn't understand what they were saying. I caught a flash of a look that resembled an "I'm so sorry," face, but then they both turned away.

"We're going to go page Doctor Grant again, so just hang tight," the doctor who hadn't spoken to me yet said.

As she left the room, the first doctor asked me, "So what do you do for a living?"

"What do I do for a living?" I repeated incredulously. Checking the door again, I turned my head away from her and stared at the wall. The doctor fell silent.

After several minutes of nothing but the frenzied sounds of the emergency room, Finn appeared in the doorway. "Rachel!" he exclaimed. Rushing into the room, he scooped me into his arms. "I was so scared, Rachel, I couldn't get any information and they wouldn't tell me where to find you, and…"

His voice trailed off as the sound of both of us sobbing filled the room. I clung to Finn as if I hadn't seen him in one hundred years, and for a long time no one bothered us. Then there was a knock and Doctor Grant entered the room. He was wearing an outfit that looked as if he had come straight from the gym or an exercise class of some such. He reached out and grabbed one of the cheap plastic hospital chairs, dragging it across the room to a spot next to my bed. Spinning it around, he sat in it backwards and rested his arms along the top.

I tried to read his face for any signal that would tell me what was happening to my baby, but he was impossible to read until he rubbed his face slowly with his hands and took a deep breath. "She's gone, isn't she…?" I asked so quietly that I wasn't sure I had actually said the words.

"I am so, so sorry," he confirmed. "It sucks that this happened to such a good couple. I'm so sorry."

Finn sank down onto the edge of the bed. "Why?" he asked.

Doctor Grant shook his head. "We aren't sure yet. We won't be sure until after…"

"What happens next?" I reached out in search of Finn's hand.

"We have to do a cesarean as soon as possible to remove the baby," he answered. "The bleeding isn't too extreme at this point but the concern at this point would be you losing too much blood."

"So. What's going to happen?" Finn intertwined his fingers with mine.

"The nurses are going to take Rachel to the operating room, and they'll get her ready. I'll get ready I'll meet her there and perform the procedure. You should be able to see her a short time after."

He sounded so cold and formal, not at all like he had in his office, back when life was ordinary. His eyes, however, were still soft.

"I want Finn with me," I insisted, wiping the tears from my face.

"He can't come into the operating room," Doctor Grant replied gently. "But he'll be right here after when you wake up." Standing up, he said, "I'm going to go get changed now, but I'll be with you every step of the way through this."

He left the room and a nurse I hadn't seen earlier entered the room. "I'm going to insert an IV now and then get you rolling down for surgery."

"I have really bad veins," I murmured dully.

"Oh, I've seen worse," she tried to joke. After several unsuccessful attempts though, she called for another nurse to come in and try.

Everything around me was moving so fast. I squeezed Finn's hand as the IV slid into my arm, trying to hold on to him for as long as I could before they took me away.