A/N, Hi my name is Laura and I am the worst person ever at updating. I'm sorry, it's been ages and this chapter is so short too. I'm doing my best, don't hate me too much and please try to review. Your words really help me! :)
Brian's lifestyle had changed whilst he was living in New York. Not dramatically. He still tricked, he still did drugs and he still drank. He still partied. Just not as... often. Not as heavily. Every Saturday night that he would choose to stay in rather than go out, Brian would blame on the fact the work load was exhausting him. And, with all his friends still in Pittsburgh, he had no one to go out with. And yet, Brian had been in Pittsburgh two weeks, and had only tricked once. Felt himself going to Babylon simply because he felt he should, and noticed himself stopping after his second Jim Beam.
You'd think staying in a place for that long, you'd make new friends, but Brian decided he's rather be alone than be friends with the concieted hetero snobs he worked with. Alone. Brian had been thinking about that word a lot recently. He looked at the time, and seeing it was only 6pm, decided he'd relax for a few hours, before meeting the boys at Woody's at 9.
He settled his long body into the leather sofa he'd recently purchased for his new - temporary, he told himself - apartment. He felt himself sink into the material and sighed as the warmth enveloped him. Brian began thinking about his friends. It turns out that while he was away, Mikey had managed to pick himself up a hunky professor. Brian let out a chuckle even now, thinking about the way 'Zen Ben' had begged Brian to tie him up that time they fucked at the white party. Seeing them together though, Brian grudgingly admitted to himself that they were good for each other. Ben's calmness and patience canceling out Michael's sometimes brash and annoying personality. He remembered the way that they were laughing at the diner the other day. Ted and Blake were showing them a funny cartoon in the most recent issue of 'Out'. Theodore. Even he had someone. Brian promptly realised he was starting to compare his love life to Ted's and shook his head before standing and heading to the fridge for a beer.
Everything that he - Brian 'Fucking' Kinney - had stood for before was arguing against the things he was craving. He would never turn into a Stepford fag, living in the suburbs, cooking dinner for when the old man came home like a good little wife. But something in Brian - something that was making itself more and more known every fucking day - wanted someone to rely on. A familiar face to come home to. A warm body in his bed at night - one that he wouldn't have to kick out first thing in the morning.
He was conflicting himself. What he lives by would be embarrased of the feelings that Brian was having, the man he was becoming. And yet the way he lives has always forced him to go after what he wants and take it. No matter the consequences. Is this why no matter what Justin says to him, he still keeps finding himself chasing after this younger man?
Could Brian really do this? With Justin? And more importantly, would Justin allow it? His speech the other day had thrown Brian for a loop. He needed a shower. Preferably in scotch.
"When do you get off baby?" Emmett asked as Justin served him and his 'boyfriend' for the night their meals.
"Around 8." Justin responded. He looked up at the clock. Only two more hours or so.
"Yay. Why don't you come meet us all at Woody's at 9?"
"Uh... Sure, Em."
Justin knew Brian would be there tonight and the thought of seeing the older man filled him with anxiety, but he had to be strong if he was going to get what he wanted. He wanted friendship, he wanted a chance to spend time with just Brian, as oppose to Brian and his dick, as it always was in the past.
Justin knew he loved Brian for Brian. No matter what had changed, that hadn't. But this time round, Justin wanted Brian to love him for him. Not to just appreciate the way he was always a reliable lay. So he would go to Woody's. He would smile and laugh, he would flirt. And even though it caused him more pain than he ever wanted to feel, he would turn away from Brian at the end of the night, and go home alone. If he was going to get what he wanted this was his only option. And he was going to get what he wanted.
