I am dedicated to the five people who read chapter 3 as I'm writing this. Wanna hear something fun? I have a really, really, really dark and uncomfortable chapter (It was about 9/10 of the way done, I guess) I decided not to publish because I ended up getting so into the story that it didn't even fit David's character anymore (you know how David doesn't feel comfortable killing? Well, if what I wrote were on the "David" profile then he probably wouldn't care about killing people.).
I watched Justice League: War and Flashpoint Paradox today and they were really good! I wierdly liked dumb Wonder Woman... Just wanted to mention that.
...
'Yay, It's Halloween. My favorite holiday... eh, whatever, that is besides the point.'
'I don't think Batman likes that I kicked his Bat-ass.' David isn't wrong. 'He's been practically hunting me from Bat-place to Bat-time and it's exhausting.' David recalled, sitting in his apartment. 'You know this place isn't half bad now that I've put some work into it.'
Whenever David first moved into the complex it was damp, dark, and ugly. David's floors were an unknown material they were so degraded. Leaks were coming out of corners David dared to venture. 'However, that gem was worth far more than I anticipated, I even got a bonus once I told them I kicked Bats ass, heh. That bonus, interestingly, included a recipe for smoke bombs, which weren't too hard to make. Still, it's a shame I had to spend most of it on this place. I don't think Batman has reported me, I've kept an eye on the news. I should be a bit more careful now... I need to go to that dinner though.'
David, somehow, had gotten an invitation (part of the "Oh shit, you faced The Batman!" bonus David received) to the open dinner held by Bruce Wayne... a costume party for Halloween. "Bruce Wayne." David thought aloud. 'I never really liked the guy, I feel sorry that he lost his parents, but he has all that money from managers doing his work for him. He doesn't even show thanks, all he does is just sit around and uses women, hence the "Playboy" title, I get steamy thinking about it.'
'Fuck it though, free billionaire food, I need a costume.'
...
'I'm a fancy mummy who can't dress properly.' David thought, walking twords this banquet and passing trick and treats walking about about the streets.
David had decided to go as a mummy but that arose a probem once he was done: Should he have completely covered his body in mummy rap, it is a Bruce Wayne dinner, after all? He had become paranoid then decided to put on a tuxedo a size too small... meanwhile his face, lower leg which wasn't covered, and hands with a bit of arm were visible and covered in mummy wrap. 'Oh, wow, I really hope I'm not the only one in costume, oh god no.'
'I hope I get a word with Bruce Wayne, I can only dream of how that conversation will go... yes I actually really can dream of that conversation, ha, I need this to happen.'
"... How long of a walk is this-oh, there we GO-WOW! David exclaimed, this hall was huge. "I'ma thug, a villain. I really shouldn't be here." David suddenly felt very pressured. 'I'm already here and have the invite, I might as well. At least I'm not the only costumed one, though they're a bit more... glittery.' David went along to stand in line behind what was clearly a very rich man, bald, dressed in bright colors,wearing a bird mask, 'Maybe some conversation can help me.'
"Hey, so this is billionaire Bruce Wayne's party, they must be serving some really good stuff, just imagine it." David said, trying to spark some talk.
"Yes, I suppose. The only reason I even came here was because I had a small meeting with Bruce Wayne and he insisted I come." The man said, only partway turning his head.
"A meeting with Bruce Wayne, you must be quite the figure?" David asked.
The man fully turned now, smiled, and held up his invitation.
'Alexander... Luthor...Lex Luthor... Oh shit, stay calm. I should have recognized the gleam off of his head, that Lex gleam.'
"Well, I didn't know I was talking to that Lex Luthor, nice to meet you." David said, holding out his hand and trying to stay polite.
"I don't usually talk with people of your...caliber... but you got an invitation so you must be doing something right." Lex stated, returning David's gesture. "What's your name, it's only appropriate." Lex Asked.
'Oh, uh, what is my name? I'll just check and...' "Francis Shadow." David responded 'Shadow... corny as all hell, but I guess it's kind of cool, I'll have to use it for something later.'
"Well-hm? oh, sorry, but I'll have to talk to you later, my phone is ringing... yes, yeah?" Lex was intertwined in this call.
'I guess I can talk to the person behind me now.' David thought. David turned, having to down in order to view the woman behind him. She was wearing a dress that hugs her, and her makeup, David guessed, was suppose to make her look comparable to a clown.
"What do you think they'll serve?" David asked, 'Fuck changing subjects, I'm hungry, and this helps.'
"Me? I think they'll serve shrimp." The woman said, 'In the heaviest New Yorker accent I've ever heard.'
"Interesting, so what's your name?" David asked.
"Hm? Oh, eh, my name is on this card?"
'...oh my god..."Harl quin"... That's Harley Quinn isn't it OH MY GOD... that is the most crudely forged invitation I've ever seen.'
"That is good." David said, before turning around.
"Hold on buddy, you've gotta tell me your name, you know." Harley demanded.
"Fine, my name is..." 'Actually, let's think about this. Based on my research Harley Quinn is psychopathic but... it would be good to have a friend in a high place. She may manage to pull me into contact with the Joker which is something that I don't really want. If I tell her that I've managed to beat the Bat and avoid him that is sure to impress.'... David paused, looking the woman over. 'She sure is adorable, it's hard to imagine she's obsessed with an abusive clown and murders people without remorse. I suppose I could indulge her... what should my villain name be... Shadow, fuck it. I'm not that creative.'
David leaned in and whispered to Harley,"You can just call me Shadow, sweety. We can talk more, later, but not here, Harley Quinn."
At the mention of her name her eyes widened a bit,'did she seriously expect for that to work?', but then went back to normal. Harley smiled,"Ooh, Mr. Mystery over here. Fine, where should we meet?"
Ew, planning. "I see no reason we can't just hang out until then, right? You didn't come here to do anything in particular, did you?" David asked. If Harley planned on doing anything "reckless" then David doesn't want to be seen with her.
"Naw, I just came here for the food. And sure! Let's hang out, it's a date!"
'This won't get annoying.' David thought.
...
"Wow! This place is nice, ain't it, Harl!" David exclaimed. It was a huge, golden hall with people in every nook and cranny. In the center began a grand staircase and at the top out came Bruce Wayne... dressed as Bruce Wayne.
"Shadow, look, it's Bruce Wayne! Ain't he just dreamy?" Harley said, admiring her boy crush.
"Eh, about as dreamy as it can get."
"What? Ya don't like him?"
"Nah..."
"... Well why not, you told me you were bisexual?"
'I really regret telling you that.' "He's handsome and shit but he's him. Playboy Billionaire Bruce Wayne. He doesn't show his thanks and has managers to do his work for him. Sure he runs the Thomas and Martha Wayne charity organizations, which is pretty noble, but almost every big public image ever involves themselves in charity's, it helps their image."
"Wow." Harley said, leaning against David's chest. "You're pretty smart, aren't ya, big boy,you remind me of my puddin, that sounds like something he would say."
'Wow, she's great at hitting on people. We've only known each other for like, a half hour too...did she just compare me to Joker? Whatever, as cute as Harley is, I really cannot do this right now, also, she's, uh, getting me kind of...' David lightly pushed Harley aside. 'I need something to distract me, I should let her know about "Shadow" Shadow.' David thought.
"Come with me." David ordered. 'that will put off great messages. I'm taking her to the roof.'
"Ooh, somewhere spicy?" Harley asked.
"I need to show you something about my face."
"Hm, oh, if it's a scar, don't worry, I love scars. I lick em' clean."
'Yeah, I bet you do.' "You see that ladder, we're going to the roof. Follow me." David said, now outside and leading Harley up to the roof. 'does she still think we're going to have sex?'
"Oh, orders, you know how to grind my gears." Harley purred.
'I guess that's a yes.'
"I hope you know I don't plan on dating you or some stupid shit."
"I don't plan to either. I just wanna see what's beneath those bandages." Harley said. "There are people you could ask, once I have my sights on someone, I keep my sights on them."
'Well that's nice to know.' David thought.
"Here, now I'm going to show you my face and your going to see a small fragment of just why I'm a criminal." David said.
"Criminal?" Harley asked.
"Yup." David said starting to unwrap the wrap. He was used to this. People would somehow not notice his face, make some nice conversation, then they saw the mask-end of story. This is the first time he had ever actually used it to scare someone off. Although the mask was basically unbreakable,'it's taken a shot before', it was still trouble.
"Viola." David said.
"Wow... that is awesome." Harley stated as fact.
"... Wait, what?"
"That's so cool."
"Shit, seriously."
"Those green little snake eyes are rad, they do that naturally? Man, Scarecrow would love this!"
"Um...yup."
"I can see your mouth through that weird sheet of darkness."
"Damn, good eyesight."
"Shadow, buddy, I don't think you realize that you're welcome here in Gotham."
David wasn't use to this. He hadn't really ever heard the words "you're welcome here" before. 'Oh god, I'm getting emotional.'
"Well, thanks, Harley." David day just got a little brighter.
"No problem. So... are you good?" Harley asked.
"Damn't Harl I thought I established-" David was cut off.
"Naw! I mean at being a criminal." Harley assured.
"Hm? Well, I just began." David said.
"Done anything?" Harley asked.
"Well, I ran into Catwoman and Batman, Kicked Batman's ass, and been getting hunted by the same sore-ass for these past few weeks." David saw no reason he couldn't tell the truth.
"...WHAT!" Harley screamed.
"AH! what?" David stuttered.
"You beat the Batman?"
"Barely, I only won because I kicked his face in and knocked him off a roof... but yup, I guess I did, kinda kick his ass." David said, flexing. "He's pissed though."
Harley giggled," I guess a roof drop would knock the wind out of anyone."
"Yeah, but I'm a pretty good fighter."
"Well, If you ever need to get some quick cash, I have some jobs that you or we could do together sometime, just let me write a card real quick."
"Alright sure." David responded. 'This is good, I need to teach Batman that he needs to get over his crush on me because that'll never happen. Then I can go fuck a bank with Harley... oh yeah, she "has her sights" on me, I'll have to look out for that'
"Here you go." Harley said handing the card to David.
'Call me! 8704759932 ;)' David read in his mind.
"Well, it's late and the party is ending, I guess I'll head out, it may be a while before I can actually call you." David said, about to jump to another rooftop.
"Hold on a second buster, you're just gonna leave me here? You know what I think about that?" Harley stated, walking twords David.
'If she fucking kisses me-and yup, of course.' David thought, as Harley landed a kiss on his lips.
David jumped to the other ledge as Harley walked away, 'great, Furries hunting me, a psychopath wants me, and I never even got a full stomach, these next few weeks will be interesting.' David predicted.
'It's good to have friends in high places.'
...
Well, ta-da. I was bored and decided to poop this out real quick. No, I don't plan on making Harley and David a thing, I just wanted to explore this after remembering the Harley out of the Assault on Arkham movie (plus we need to get David to interact with the grand characters somehow, right?). If any of you are livid, saying that "Harley would never cheat on Joker." Well, look at the Assault on Arkham movie. She looks at Dead-shot and instantly wants him. In fact, she took the time to hit on him repeatedly then snuck into his bed naked, where they had sex, pretty sure it happened somewhere in the comics, too.
Sorry if you feel this chapter was lacking comedy and action, I've been out of it, and frankly this is a pretty boring chapter action-wise.
Oh yeah and David is Bi, bum-ba-bum-ba-bum-bye!
