Chapter Four

AN I don't own Twilight or any of its sequals.
I'm very sorry that it took me this long but I couldn't think of what to write until this morning. Also, I hope you don't mind but I felt like I needed to change pov's no matter how much I hate doing it. The begining is still Bella though and I thank you for all the amazing reviews. )

I woke up. That wasn't intresting though. I woke up everyday but today was different. Today I wanted to wake up. Today I was waking up for nothing. I woke up silently. No screams, not one. That hasn't happend since the day Edward left. Edward. I could think he's name. It didn't hurt anymore. Well, not much. I still longed for him but I knew he would be here. He would want to be here. That made all the difference. Of course my stomach still hurt but I would live. I looked around the room and saw Jasper, sitting in a chair in the corner. He seemed to notice that I saw him.

"Hi ... Bella. Listen, we really need to talk." What was he talking about? Then I remembered why they left. What started this nonscence of them being dangerous.

"Oh Jasper. It was never your fault. Don't worry about it. It was an accedent." I said. He looked at me with confusion.

"What do you mean 'don't worry about it?' Don't you care for your life. I could have easily killed you. I almost did kill you, both then and now. This is all my fault and I am so sorry. If I wasn't so weak you wouldn't be here like this. These last six months wouldn't have been hell. They would have been happy. Theres no excuse. Don't you understand that Bella? I could have killed you." Jasper said, staying calm as he explained his resonings to me.

"Jasper, anyone could have made that mistake. If its' anyones fault, it's mine. If I had been more careful and not cut myself you wouldn't have had to worry about anything." I was about to continue but he cut me off but this time he wasn't so calm.

"Don't you honestly for one second belive this was your fault. You are human. You shouldn't have to worry about your life ending just because of a stupid paper cut."

"And you're a freaking vampire! You drink blood. Your saying its in my nature to make stupid mistakes like that. Its in yours too." We both were quiet for a moment not knowing how to react when Carlisle walked in. I felt calm all of a sudden. Stupid Jasper, I don't want to calm down.

"Sorry for inturupting but I need to speak with Bella right now Jasper. You may stay if you wish but there may be some blood." Carlisle said and Jasper left the room. "Okay, how are you feeling Bella?"

How was I feeling? That was a good question. I felt pain, but not much. And I felt confussion. Why hadn't Edward came yet? He should have awnsered his cell by now.

"Physically, it hurts a bit but nothing I can't deal with. Emotions are a different question." There we go. That sums up my feelings in a way I guess.

"Well its good that you're not feeling much pain. You should be able to go back home in a day or two. As for emotions, is there anything I can help you with?" Hell yes!

"No thank you. I just need sometime to think." I said. I wasn't really lieing. I did need to think about things. About everything.

"Okay, but I need to inspect you're stitches, is that okay?" He asked. I nodded and Carlisle made his way towards me. I winced everynow and then but from his expression, everything seemed to be fine.

"You're healing quite nicely. You could get out of bed if you wanted to but I don't want you leaving the house for a few more days if thats okay. You should go it." Carlisle said once he finished making sure I was fine. "I belive Esme has made you some lunch. Do you need help getting to the kitchen?"

"I think I can manage and thanks. For everything. I wouldn't be here without you." I saw Carlisle smile as I said that.

"It was my pleasure. None of us were the same after we left and now we seem just about whole again. Once Edward gets here, well be perfect. Now go eat. You need some energy." I nodded and got up. It hurt a bit more but I was fine. I slowly made my way down the stairs, holding the walls for support to make sure I wouldn't fall. When I finally made it to the kitchen and I gasped. It looked like there was enough lunch there for weeks.

"I hope theres enough." Esme said. I laughed, which hurt, making me wince.

"There is definitly enough. Don't worry about that." I said. My stomach growled and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheecks. Alice walked in with Emmett and they took a seat next to me.

"So Bella I was thinking we could go shopping tomorow." Alice suggested. I spit up my food and I could feel my cheecks starting to burn up. Emmett started laughing, making me blush even more.

"Uhm..I can't. Carlisle said I should stay here so he could keep an eye on me." I said. Never once had I been so grateful. Alice knew I hated shoping. Why does she put me threw this.

"Accutally, if you stay with Alice I don't see why not." Carlisle said as he walked into the kitchen. I shot him and evil glare and he chuckled. Great, I don't have anymore excuses. Alice squelled with delight and Emmett laughed at my horror struck face. I tried to change the subject fast. Maybe Alice would forget. Who was I kidding? It was Alice. But then again, I needed to know something.

"Has anyone got a hold of Edward left?" There faces all got sadder and I knew there option but then Alice brightened up.

"I have an idea! How about we get Bella to call and leave him a message. At least then he wont think that were lieing. Are you up to it Bella?" Me? Tell Edward I shot myself. No way! Never.

"Sure if it will get him home." I said. Okay, maybe it will work. Alice was gone and back in no more then five seconds, this time with a phone in her hand which she handed to me. "Its ringing." What now? I wasn't ready yet! What would I say? I heard the beep. Here goes nothing or rather everything. My everything.

"Edward. Its Bella. I need you to call us. It's really important. Somethings happend and I need to see you. To hear your voice, I know everything. I love you. Please come home." I said and hung up. Alice and Emmett smiled. Who knew, maybe it would work. Oh god I hope it does.

Jasper walked into the room. He looked like he was ready to talk some more and no way was that going to happen. "Jasper, don't. Please, don't." I said.

"I just need you to understand it wasn't your fault." He said. I knew it was, if I wasn't so stupid and had been more careful.

"Your fault! Are you kidding Bella?" Alice said, inturrupting my thoughts.

"Bella smarten up. It was no ones fault. Nobodys perfect and nobodys to blame." Emmett said. If anyone had told me that Emmett was the voice of reason, I would have doubled over in laughter but he just had proved me wrong.

"Fine." I said and pushed away my finished plate. I was stuffed. There was an akward silence that seemed to be going on forever. Alice, Emmett and Jasper kept looking at each other, as if they were ... hiding something? "You know what I hate?" They all looked confused at my seemingly outragerous question, but shook there heads. "Lies." They seemed to understand. So I was right. There was something that they weren't telling me.

"Okay, well we didn't want to tell you because we were afraid it might have ... upset you." Alice began. Okay, what was going on? I just nodded, singling her to go on. "Well, I saw Edward and he got sick of hearing his cell so he distroyed it. In short, that means he won't be here, for a couple of months at least. Even then, Forks won't be the first place on his map. Bella, I don't know how to tell you this but ... we have to leave to track him down."

Everything was swirling and fuzzy until it just went black.

Edwards Point Of View

Dammit, the phone was ringing for the about the hundreth time today. I told Alice that I didn't want anyone to call me and I will visit every now and then but everything about them reminded me about ... her. Maybe I should go and visit her, check up to make sure she was okay.

No, I couldn't. I gave her my word and how much of a hypocrite would I be to tell my family they couldn't see her but I was going to. It couldn't happen. I would never hold my Bella again. How it hurt to think of her, to say her name. I needed her but she needed me to leave her life if she still wanted one. It had to be this way.

My phone was ringing again. Seriously, can you get a message. I picked it up and held it with all my strength. When I opened my hand again, all that was left was a small ball. Well at least now that it was destroyed I wouldn't need to hear the constent ringing. Maybe I would go and visit them. But no, I was just there a few weeks ago or atleast I think it was. I didn't keep track of time lately. It didn't matter to me. Nothing mattered to me.

I could never be the person I was before Bella and I left myself behind when I left her. I was a nobody without her. She was my everything and I threw her away. I was left with nothing. But it was the price I had to pay to make sure she was safe. I know knew that she would never be in harm because of me or my family ever again. That's what kept me away.