Wow, ok haven't posted in AGES!
And what's worse is that this chap was actually up on sd-1 this whole time an I didn't realise, thought I'd levelled out my posts between here and there.
Anyway, sorry about that, I'll try make the updates a little more frequent from now on :blush:
Here's the 3rd part, I'll try get part four up uber-quick to make up for the time-lapse ;) (just sorting out the lyrics)
Hope you like...
Chapter Three – I Want You Back
Sark knew he was no good to anyone, least of all himself, in the state he was currently occupying. He'd suffered loss before, but it was nothing compared to how this felt. He'd watched his wife, sister and infant son die, but somehow he'd managed to carry on living, and soon the pain had dulled. But this; this was different. He felt as if the pain would never go away, felt almost like it shouldn't, and wasn't completely sure he wanted it to either.
Previously he had pushed forwards, putting all his energy into other more beneficial and practical things. He'd suffered, but he'd survived; so he knew he should – no could do it again. But he had Avalon then.
One day, some time after they had died; the pain from their deaths had dulled. Simply that. And he felt that hurt even more than the pain itself. Knowing that he'd moved on so much that he didn't even suffer inside for their murders. That hurt more than anything before it ever had.
But still, again, he had Avalon then.
Now she was gone, and he had to wonder if he'd ever get to that feeling again. Wasn't sure if he completely wanted to, but was curious all the same if he'd actually make it even close.
Take me back to the place where I
Loved that girl for all time
Why must life just take away
Every good thing one at a time
He soon figured out though, that the only way to find out, either way, was to try. Not to mention the fact Avalon wouldn't want him sitting around … 'moping' all the time; not that he viewed it as such, but she certainly would. It was a sure fire way to get himself killed as well. She'd disapprove of that immensely, because … oh how she hated incompetence. Especially on her father's part. That she couldn't stand. And even from the grave, he'd no doubt she'd make her point known.
And so Sark realised fairly early on that he wouldn't last long where he was unless he worked out some sort of agreement with the CIA. (Well, APO at least anyway – which sounded slightly more appealing than the complete organisation itself; but then black ops sections seldom didn't to him.) That was, if they would be willing to make an agreement with him. The thought quickly disappeared from his mind, however, because while the CIA claimed they didn't "make deals with terrorists", along with the rest of the country and its administration, he knew that when it really came down to it, how Sydney Bristow felt could quickly and easily be overruled if the intel he could provide them with was worth it. Besides, he seemed to have Jack on his side; so convincing the others to follow him should be fairly simple in his mind.
His theory was proved right, when after some input on the elder Bristow's part, Dixon agreed to a deal; having been appointed to Sloane's old post after the other's … demise. The 'agreement' they had reached involved him not only supplying information to the CIA, but also accompanying them on certain mission if his "expertise" – his word, not theirs – were needed. Needless to say, the latter he was not so enthusiastic about. In fact, he wasn't so enamored by the former, but he was willing to 'go along with it' for formalities sake and the firm knowledge that he actually held the cards in the situations where they needed to consult him. Not to mention it kept him from being incarcerated once more, something he wasn't fond of in the least, and he supposed, it did allow him an access to guns and weaponry, which for once in his life was legal.
And lastly, something he considered a 'prize' in the circumstances: Sydney had been the one assigned to 'keep an eye on him'. Something, which just made everything else more worthwhile really. Anything to wind her up.
Of course, when Sydney found out it was a completely different matter. She was furious. Positively livid, in fact. Oh, how he'd enjoyed seeing that.
"You think by doing this you'll prove to me that you're not simply a heartless killer? That you might actually care for other people?" she probed as soon as she exited the room – the glass walls of which had provided him with ample viewing apparatus for the scene between the more 'senior' members of staff and herself.
"What does it matter to me what you think, Sydney? You formed your opinion of me long ago, and I doubt that shedding a few tears will change that, never mind cooperating with your organisation. Am I correct?" the blonde answered, making sure he locked eyes with her throughout, before he turned on his heel and left her standing alone, reeling.
She eyed him warily as he walked away, voicing quietly to herself, "What are you doing, Sark?"
I want it back
Well yes I want it back
Yes I want you back
Please give it me back
Cause I want your love
Vaughn hadn't taken the news well at all – actually, that was quite the understatement. He point-blank refused to let her take the 'position'; a decision which was, naturally, overruled by not only her father, but also Sydney herself. And so things between Sydney and Vaughn were a little tense at the moment. She wasn't exactly happy about having to look after Sark, as she saw the role, but Dixon had pretty much ordered her to and she'd handled Sark in the past so, if anything, she figured better her than someone who didn't know him as well. Vaughn didn't see it this way and didn't find a problem voicing his opinion. So, as a consequence, the two hadn't really been speaking amicably – or rather, that was all they'd been doing. Talking politely to each other, in a static, completely awkward way so as not to offend the other or spark another argument – which were becoming all too frequent these days.
After he'd returned from the 'errand' he'd been forced to run with Sark, he'd been … different. Distant. She knew it was have been hard for him, especially under the circumstances it had all taken place, and knew that the effect of seeing Lauren, like that, must have been difficult. So she tried to give him what he needed, whether unconsciously or not; she tried to give him some space, not provoke him or smother him, just leave him be for a while. But she sensed that might not be enough to stop what was happening to them both. It wasn't like it was before. And it wasn't likely to be any time soon either.
And so Sydney did the one thing she knew she had to. But, oh, how had it managed to come to this, she couldn't help but think to herself sadly.
It was supposed to be better. Now they had 'their shot', 'their turn', 'their chance'; it was supposed to work out. They were supposed to get back together and things would go back to how they were before; the good times. But they didn't. And now she was sure they weren't going to.
She managed to get him alone later that same day, away from the chatter and constant presence of everyone else, using the words every member of a couple dreads; "We need to talk."
Their interaction didn't last long. He repeated questions, but when she replied, he didn't like the responses. He wanted answers she couldn't give. She wouldn't give them either, because he wanted to satisfy his need to be right. And he wasn't. He definitely wasn't.
She hadn't broken up with him because of Sark.
She had broken up with him because of them. Her and him. Sydney and Vaughn.
At least that was what she kept telling herself.
How can I not even cry?
For such a big thing in my life
The pain it takes the part of me
Turn around and say goodbye
Vaughn stopped abruptly as he reached the table and saw a certain figure before him, muttering venomously, "Sark."
The blonde simply nodded at him, saying almost dismissively, "Vaughn."
The green-eyed Agent then turned to Sydney, questioning, "What is he doing here?"
"I wasn't allowed to leave him alone. Remember?" she replied; referring to the rather obvious fact that the CIA didn't trust Sark yet, and weren't about to let him loose, alone, with a newly forged pardon – of sorts anyway – in his hand.
"So, you – you brought him with you?" he exclaimed in response.
Sark rolled his eyes. Having to be around Sydney when she was acting the way she was at the moment was bad enough, but if Vaughn was going to constantly stick around he felt he'd have to knock himself out.
"So, why are you here Agent Vaughn?" Sark took the opportunity to ask, knowing just how it would rile the man.
Vaughn glared at him as he moved further into the room, answering, "The same thing could be said for you, Julian."
"Now wait just a minute!" the blonde protested in mock offence at this.
"I'm on the side of 'all that is good and just' now. So you," and he pointed his finger at Vaughn, "Better play nice."
"Or what? Like you said, you're on the side of 'good' now", Vaughn responded, smiling smarmily at the blonde.
"Well, you know me," Sark replied with a casual shrug, before a smirk appeared on his face. "I don't like playing by the rules."
Vaughn stepped closer to him, definitely invading the blonde's personal space.
"Why don't you put your gun where your mouth is then, Sark?" he responded, with narrowed eyes.
"So sure you could take me, Michael?" the other baited in return, resulting in the Agent taking a lunge towards him.
"Hey! Stop it! Both of you, cut it out!" Sydney's voice suddenly interrupted them as she jumped in between the two men.
Sark just let out a laugh, which formed into a smirk almost immediately, as he stepped backwards with his hands raised in a pretend defensive move. Sydney stared at Vaughn for a short while, before he relented and turned and moved across to the opposite side of the table.
"Right, now if you're both finished," Sydney said with a quick glance at both men. "We can actually get started."
I want it back
Well yes I want it back
Yes I want you back
Please give it me back
Cause I want you
"You think by doing this you'll prove to her that you're worth it? That you're better than me?" Vaughn questioned through gritted teeth as they crossed through the doorway side-by-side.
"I am worth it, she already knows that I'm better than you, and doing this … well, it just makes me soft," Sark told him, ending with a smirk, before walking ahead into the other room.
Sydney had explained the mission objective to them just previously. While Weiss "watched over things," back at APO, they had to infiltrate an organisation and take control. Simple. Everything in the building was to be saved, and prisoners taken, but if – by hazards of the job – that was not possible, then as much as could be, that was of value, was to be preserved or captured and taken back and the rest was to disappear. So basically, they were to "burn the motherfuckers to the ground," as Sark had put it once she'd finished.
The wording he'd chosen had thrown her off guard slightly, but his actions moments later fitted perfectly with the change that had stirred within him during the briefing.
The blonde moved swiftly across to the table then, picked up one of the guns, and raised it to eye level as he cocked it, checking its sight.
Then he turned to Sydney as he lowered the weapon, and said simply, "So, which one of the bastards will we be killing first?"
It was obvious to Sydney then why he had 'switched sides'.
Sark equated the men they were after with those that had killed his daughter. Mere business associates at one time or another though they had been, he still felt they deserved to be punished; and so here they were.
She supposed it made sense that he wouldn't do it for the benefit of mankind. Besides, it would've sort of tainted his image if he had.
x
Just before they were due to leave, Jack held a short meeting. After a final check over equipment and detail, Sark was the first to leave, and Vaughn took his chance to voice his opinion.
"I don't trust him," he said, watching the blonde's figure as he walked along the corridor. "He's got to have some ulterior motive in all this."
"Perhaps," Jack said. "But it's doubtful."
"No, it's not," Vaughn returned with a scoff. "He was all ready to take me earlier. Would've too is Syd hadn't stopped him. Does that sound like the actions of someone we can trust?"
Sydney turned her head to the side, rolling her eyes at the comments, but keeping tight-lipped so as not to draw any unnecessary attention to her.
Instead, her father merely answered, "It's easy to be good, when that's all you've ever been taught."
Vaughn's brow furrowed, annoyed, as he questioned, "And what's that supposed to mean, Jack?"
"Think about it, Agent Vaughn. When you were young, essentially, above all else, you were taught to be good. So naturally, you turned to the good side. Same with the rest of you," he said, glancing at them each in turn.
"What do you suppose Sark was taught when he was young? If indeed he grew up with Irina Derevko, do you suppose she taught him 'peace, love and happiness'? Or perhaps she subjected him to watching Disney videos over-and-over; the likes of 'Bambi' and 'Sleeping Beauty'? Oh, yes, that would certainly explain his loving nature," Jack continued, ending with a slight smile.
"No, but it would explain why he's such a flaming ponce,, Weiss said with a short laugh, looking over at Sydney briefly, whose lips twitched into a smile as she met his eyes.
"He is what he was raised to be. Nothing more. Nothing less."
And with those words, Jack left them.
"Why are you doing this?" Sydney asked him, when Vaughn had, reluctantly, left them both to, presumably, go to the toilet.
She already knew the answer, or felt she did at least, but she was still badgering for him to admit it himself.
He looked at her for a slight moment, then leaned back in his seat and stretched out his legs as a smirk set on his features and he asked playfully, "What's the matter, Sydney, don't you [itrust[/i me?"
She simply smiled sweetly back and replied, "Why of course I do, Julian. I just thought that since we're going to be partners and all, it would do you well to reveal your true motive in this whole scheme."
The blonde's smirk seemed to grow at this, and when he caught sight of Vaughn returning, eyes narrowed in his direction, he simply rose languidly from his seat in place of answering, and moved forward past the green-eyed Agent.
But as Sark walked towards the cabin, he leaned down and murmured in brunette's ear, "It's a complicated world, Sydney. Only the naïve view it in black and white."
And then he left the former lovers alone with each to their own thoughts.
How did you do it females?
It's always you do it angels
You always keep me on the run
So how did you do it angels?
Always you do it females
You always keep me on the run
"You told Vaughn that you loved Lauren, was that true?" Sydney's voice broke through his thoughts.
"I was … 'fucking with him' – as I believe the term goes," Sark answered.
And a wry smirk appeared briefly on his face, as he added, "And judging by the way you posed that question, I'd say I did it exceptionally well too."
"Liar," she uttered simply.
"Excuse me?" he asked, with a scoff, raising an eyebrow at her.
"You felt something special for her, I can tell. You – " the brunette carried on.
"Before you continue, Sydney, let us get one thing straight right now. I did not, and never have loved Lauren Reed. I may have been having a sexual relationship with her, but that is in no way an indication of my love for the woman. I killed for her, yes. As she did for me. But my relationship with Lauren never once constituted anything remotely related to any 'deeper feelings' I may have had for her, no matter how she felt towards me," he cut her off.
And his eyes fell to the floor for the shortest of moments before he looked back at her, and told her plainly, "I have only ever truly 'loved' a handful of people, Sydney, and Lauren Reed was never one of them. No matter what I said to your precious Vaughn."
"Was my mother one of this 'handful'?" she asked after some relative silence had settled between them.
"There are many forms of love, Sydney. I cared a great deal for Irina, that much is true. You already know I regarded her, in many respects, like a mother to me. She also meant a lot to my daughter and my trust for her, in that regard, was perhaps only matched by that which I shared with a select few people, only one of whom is still living. Irina spent quite some time with my daughter, and the effects that the matters which she chose to involve herself in, just prior to her … demise were going to have on Avalon, was cause for my concern," he replied.
"Well then, I guess you can be glad now that such an influence in your daughter's life is no more," Sydney said; her tone coming out far more sarcastic and casual than she'd intended.
"Yes, I imagine you're correct – but my daughter is dead, so I don't think it particularly matters anymore, do you?" Sark answered her coldly, looking up at her with dark eyes, before they dropped to the floor.
And he didn't look back up until he heard her footsteps leave the cabin and the click of the door as it shut behind her.
I want it back
Well yes I want it back
Yes I want you back
Please give it me back
Cause I want your love
But I can't let myself love you
TBC ...
Song: 'I Want You Back' by Kooks
Quotes: "It's a complicated world, Sydney. Only the naïve view it in black and white." – Smallville
Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think - feedback means alot, and like I said, I'll try get the next post or two up really soon.
Steph
xxx
:D
