Emma awoke the next day to light coming in from the window. For a minute she panicked, not knowing where she was. Then she remembered. The snowstorm, the tree, Regina. She sat up quickly, looking around. In the light of day it suddenly felt weird being here in Regina's guest bedroom.
Emma climbed out of bed, pulling on her jeans and sweater she had left crumpled on the floor the night before. She turned back around. She usually wasn't great about making her bed but she quickly pulled the covers up and flattened them the best she could. Not nearly as neat as they'd been, but it was better than leaving them all rumpled. Everything in the room was exactly in place and Emma's hastily made bed stood out like a sore thumb. Oh well, best it was going to get.
She creaked the door open slowly and then stepped out into the empty hall. Noises came from downstairs and Emma headed toward them, extremely uncomfortable wandering alone in Regina's home. It almost felt like she was invading Regina's territory somehow.
As she descended the stairs the scent of pancakes and apples hit her. She followed the smell to the kitchen where Henry was shoveling pancakes smothered with cinnamon apples and syrup into his mouth. Regina was sitting at the head of the table with her own plate before her. She took a sip from the coffee cup in her hands and, as Emma came into view, Emma was acutely aware of Regina's eyes watching her over the rim of the mug.
"Morning," Emma offered awkwardly. She glanced around and noticed an extra place set at the table beside Henry.
"Morning!" Henry repeated with a mouth full of pancake. "Mom made breakfast!"
"I see that," Emma ruffled the boy's hair.
"Have a seat," Regina stood and nodded toward the empty place setting. "I'll get your breakfast. I was keeping your plate warm," she placed her coffee down and headed toward the kitchen.
"Okay," Emma slunk into the chair next to Henry. Everything felt surreal. Like she had just woken up in the twilight zone. She grabbed for the coffee and poured her own cup. Coffee would help.
Regina rematerialized holding a plate which she set down before Emma. One of Regina's arms grazed Emma's as she reached around her to set down the plate, and Emma felt all her hair stand on end.
The pancakes smelled heavenly. "Thank you, Regina," Emma said as Regina made her way back to her seat. "You really didn't have to."
Regina smiled away her protests. "I wanted to. Now eat," she commanded and Emma did as she was told. The pancakes were just as good as they smelled.
They ate in awkward silence for a moment. Emma recalled the night before when she had stroked Regina's arm, and this morning the action felt foolish. But Regina hadn't backed away...
"So, did the snow let up at all out there?" Emma finally broke the silence. Not that she was all that ready to go home. Boy, if Regina ever found out what was in her mind...
"Well, it stopped at least for now," Regina answered. "Although I still don't think you are going anywhere for a while."
Emma glanced out the window and realized what Regina meant. The snow was no longer falling but it had to be at least knee-high on the ground. Definitely nothing her bug was going to make it through. They really needed a plow for this town.
"Cool!" Henry grinned. "Can Emma stay over again?"
Emma and Regina shared a quick glance. "Um, we'll see how the weather is later, okay?" Emma told him. His face fell in disappointment.
"Is there anything you would like to do today, Henry?" Regina asked to distract him from the topic.
The boy thought a moment. "Let's make Christmas cookies!" His face lit up again at the possibility. "And can we go play outside in the snow?"
"Well, why don't I bake the cookies after breakfast while you guys go have fun outside," Regina suggested. Emma figured the woman probably didn't even own a pair of boots - she'd never seen wear anything other than heels actually, and Emma was pretty sure those weren't going to cut it. Not today anyway.
Suddenly, Emma's cell phone rang. Emma pulled it out and glanced at it. "Crap," she said, and looked apologetically up at Regina. "It's Mary Margaret," Emma flipped it open and held it to her ear. "Hello?"
"Emma!" came her mother's overeager voice. "Where are you? I was worried about you when you didn't come home last night - with the snow storm and everything!"
Emma rolled her eyes at Snow's over-protectiveness. "I'm okay. I stayed at Regina's."
Snow was silent on the other end for a moment. "Oh," she finally managed, sounding thoroughly dumbfounded.
Emma could almost hear Snow's mind whirring away on the other end. "I got snowed in," she explained. She glanced up at Regina who was studying her pancakes with a new found intensity, but Emma could feel the tension radiating from the other woman from where she sat.
"Oh, of course!" Snow breathed in relief. "I'm glad you're okay!" A brief pause. "I had a question for you. David and I were wondering if you are planning on bringing Henry to the Christmas Eve ball on Tuesday?" Another pause. Snow spoke almost hesitantly, "If you wanted to invite Regina that's okay too."
"Um, I'll check with Regina and get back to you on that," Emma promised.
"Okay!" Snow agreed readily. "Will you be coming home today?"
"Um, that depends," Emma said, sneaking another quick glance at Regina. "Listen, Mary Margaret, is that okay if I call you later?"
"Sure," her mother's voice sounded anything but sure.
"Great, well, I'll talk to you later then," Emma waited for Snow's reply and then hung up the phone. "Sorry," she said apologetically toward Regina, who was still not meeting Emma's gaze.
"What is it that you're supposed to ask me?" Regina sounded wary. Emma knew anything related to Snow instantly put the other woman on edge.
"Um, well, she would like to know if you and Henry would be interested in coming to the big Christmas Ball she and Charming are putting together for Christmas Eve," Emma saw Henry's face light up and he looked eagerly at Regina.
"Can we go, Mom!? Please!?" Henry swallowed the last of his pancakes. Emma was not expecting Regina to be at all interested and therefore wasn't at all surprised when she declined.
"Of course you can go Henry," Regina smiled stiffly and Henry grinned. "I will have to decline though," Regina continued. "I think we both know how your parents, as well as the rest of the town, feel about me. I can think of much better ways to spend my Christmas Eve," Regina said.
Emma felt a disappointment deep in her gut. Regina sounded blase about the whole thing, but Emma could see the cracks in her veneer. Emma could see the sadness behind her words and the secret longing for acceptance that Regina tried so hard to keep hidden. Emma had know Regina too long to be fooled by all that. "Well, Henry and I would really like it if you came," Emma said boldly but gently.
Regina locked eyes with her and Emma could sense Regina's mind whirling, trying to uncover Emma's motivation.
"Yeah, mom," Henry chimed in. "You should come too!"
Regina studied Henry before turning back to Emma. "I'm sorry, but we all know that it's better if I am not there. Last time I attended a gathering like this all I did was put everyone on edge. You may have given me a second chance but, trust me, the rest of them never will. Against my better judgement I accepted your invitation the last time, and no one would have anything to do with me the then so excuse me if I am not eager to be ostracized and publicly humiliated just so you can feel good about yourself."
Emma frowned, stung by Regina's words and by her assumption that she only wanted to invite Regina out of a sense of charity, "Regina..."
Regina cut her off before she could continue, "Emma, please. I'm not going, and that is that. Now, just drop it," the words came out harsh and the three of them sat in silence.
Henry sat, uncomfortable with his moms arguing. Emma had lost her appetite. Regina would not look up at either of them. Emma felt frustration creep in and got up from the table suddenly, "I think I am done here. I'll put this in the dishwasher," she picked up her plate and glass. "Henry, are you done?" The boy nodded and Emma moved to pick up his plate as well.
"Emma," Regina stood as well. "Let me get that."
"I got it," Emma said, and this time she was the one avoiding Regina's gaze.
"Emma," Regina tried again. "I'm sorry." Emma stopped and hesitated a moment before reluctantly turning to meet Regina's gaze. "I shouldn't have snapped at you, I'm sorry." Regina's eyes were desperate.
Emma nodded, seeing her sincerity. "Okay." Regina smiled, relieved. Emma continued, "But it's an open invitation. If you change your mind we would love to have you there," Emma hoped Regina could see her sincerity as well. "And I am still going to help you with these. You cooked so you shouldn't have to clean too."
"Okay," Regina nodded. "Henry, why don't you get your snow stuff on while Emma and I clean up here, okay?" she suggested. Henry all but ran from the room in his eagerness.
Regina followed Emma to the kitchen where they began to put away the dishes in silence. Finally Emma broke it. "I'm sorry too Regina. I know it's hard for you - I've seen the way everyone acts towards you and I am sorry that you have to deal with that. You don't deserve it. Whatever you've done in the past, that's not who you are now." Regina looked like she was about to say something but Emma went on, not giving her the chance. "I just want you to know that I see that and I wish everyone else did too. You're an amazing woman, Regina, and a great mother. Henry's lucky to have a mother like you."
Regina had frozen in place, her face turned toward the plate in her hands she was gripping tightly. She looked toward Emma, her eyes damp. Regina placed her hand on Emma's then, and then glanced down at it briefly. "Thank you," she said softly and Emma's heart swelled at the touch and the vulnerability in Regina's voice.
Emma smiled and reached a hand to tuck hair back behind Regina's ear. "I mean it, Regina." Regina's lashes flickered as her eyes scanned Emma's face. Emma's eyes fell to Regina's lips. Regina's lips twitched into a smirk and she removed her hand from Emma's, bringing it up to wipe at her eyes.
"Henry's probably waiting for you. I'll get the cookies started." Regina busied herself by pulling out bowls and measuring cups, as if trying to keep away from Emma.
Emma watched her, not able to help the smile that was on her face and the butterflies that were still fluttering in her stomach. Emma thought maybe her feelings were not so one-sided. After all, this time Regina had reached out to her.
xxxxxxx
Regina looked out the window as she swirled the mixer around in the bowl of cookie dough. She was just in time to see Henry launch a snowball straight for Emma's crazy monkey hat, taking it cleanly off of her head. Emma's face lit up in laughter as she struggled to turn around in the knee-deep snow to retrieve it. Regina stared a moment. Emma's childlike innocence and genuine goodness was something unfamiliar to Regina. She could never remember ever being that carefree and unreserved. She supposed that was partly what made Emma so fascinating to her. How open she was and how easily she loved. And forgave, Regina reminded herself.
There wasn't a day that went by where Regina didn't feel remorse for everything she had done to Emma ever since she'd first shown up at her door that fateful night. It was just how she handled things. Regina had become accustomed to losing everything she loved over and over again in her life and she'd be damned if she wouldn't fight for what she had - she'd do anything it took to defend what she loved and wanted. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, Regina had crossed some lines she shouldn't have and had lost sight of what was truly important. She'd done some terrible things out of desperation and fear and love. And each act had pushed her farther and farther into the role of the Evil Queen. After what she'd done, she didn't deserve to ever be forgiven, and she didn't expect to be. But, somehow, Emma kept forgiving her. Regina genuinely wished she knew what it felt like to be able to forgive that easily. But she was trying to learn. She really was.
She was snapped out of her reverie by the a loud bang from before her. She jumped and looked again at the window. The first thing she saw were two fuzzy ears and a pair of googly eyes looking in at her. Emma and Henry were staring in the window at her, waving, both grinning like fools.
Regina couldn't help it, she smiled back and waved, then watched as they resumed their snow battle. A tenderness filled her. She was used to feeling this way toward Henry, but lately she had been feeling it more and more toward Emma as well - along with a few other feelings that she hadn't felt in a long while - and, if she was being honest with herself, it scared her.
She finished rolling and cutting the dough, the whole while sneaking glances out the window at her son and at the woman who was slowly becoming so much more to her than just his birth mother.
