GLASS SHAPED HEART
FOUR
Time After Time – by Cyndi Lauper and Rob Hyman
If you're lost you can look-and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you-I'll be waiting
Time after time
Sunday: one day before Valentine's Day. Elizabeth looked forward to tomorrow. Would she get red roses and pink glass or would they send tuber roses and some unique crystal bead Cameron found on his travels? The note was never more than 'We Love You Mom' but she'd saved every card in her desk drawer.
Tonight Cam would call. He didn't last weekend. He never went more than two weeks without checking in so he was overdue. If she was lucky Jake would call too. Ellie wouldn't be home till Tuesday when Jax would fly her and Joss back on his jet. Four days in New York on Jax's dime meant Elizabeth was calling Ellie. They only had two schools to check out which meant the rest of the time they'd be getting into trouble. She could just picture the still dashing Jax strolling into some hot spot with two young blondes on his arm acting like he was still a player.
As the day progressed she busied herself. Elizabeth made meals then washed the few dishes. She went for a walk without Edward so she could go farther. She tidied up what was already pretty neat. She sorted the mail which had already been sorted. When Elizabeth finally called her daughter she could only keep Ellie on the phone for five minutes.
Night came. The longer the phone didn't ring the quieter the house got. She tried to read but the silence was too loud. She tried watching TV but it got on her nerves.
Finally her cell chimed. It was the middle child. She answered and the video stream was clear but he was in a bar. The background noise was drowning out his voice. He was buzzed so the picture kept weaving. She could see other college kids in the background. Cutting the feed, Elizabeth switched to audio only.
They tried to talk over the din. Jake was curious if she'd heard from Cam because he hadn't. Despite repeated attempts it was so loud he couldn't hear her answer "No". Eventually he said he loved her and disconnected the line before she could switch back to video and give him hand signals.
Trying not to worry Elizabeth started talking to Edward, "I hope Cam is Ok. Of course he is. He's probably doing the same thing his brother is only in the wee morning hours and in some Irish pub. That's it. He's just having too much fun to think about calling his poor worried sick mama."
Though the mutt seemed to agree, Elizabeth was unconvinced. She called Steven to see if Cameron had checked in with his uncle. He hadn't. Then she tried Lucky. Lucky didn't answer so she left a message.
When midnight rolled around Elizabeth finally dragged herself up to bed. If she didn't hear from her oldest soon Sonny would be her next call or maybe Michael since he was officially running things now.
In Elizabeth's dreams Jason came to her. He sometimes spoke to her but usually it was his eyes that communicated with her. All too often the dream would be him making love to her. A throbbing shudder of passion would wake her body. She'd lay there and try to catch her breath and remember the details. Even in death her husband had often made her late for work. If in the dream they didn't finish she would think of his hands and touch herself till the need was gone.
This morning, Valentine's, was no different except for one thing, she was crying. Elizabeth awoke drenched in tears and aching for Jason's body and soul. If the doorbell hadn't rung she might not have ever gotten out of bed at all.
Throwing on a robe she went to the door. Opening it the first thing Elizabeth saw was a dozen fiery roses. The first thing she felt was the rush of brisk winter air across her bare feet. The delivery man presented the bouquet and got her signature.
She rubbed a chilled petal to warm it. The fragrance of the flower's flesh smelled wonderful. The tips of the red blooms looked as if they'd been dipped briefly in bleach fading the brilliance to a warm orange. They were gorgeous.
All alone, Elizabeth didn't feel the need to be polite. Impatiently she tucked the arrangement under one arm and removed the card and box tied to the stems. Saving the best for last Elizabeth opened the box first. Inside a crimson piece of glass glowed on a swatch of white cotton.
The bouquet tumbled from her arm. She just stared at the box. The edges of the cut glass blurred as tears welled in her eyes. Wiping at her eyes she was hesitant to touch the glass. It looked so much like the one Jason gave her close to 30 years ago. How did her boys know? How did they find a cut so identical to something they'd never seen before? It was a Valentine miracle.
Not remembering where she was in the room, Elizabeth looked around. The couch was near so she sat down and curled her legs under. The first touch was tentative. The glass was cool and dense; picking it up, the weight of it in her palm felt similar. A band of morning sunlight slipped through a window pane beckoning her. Moving to the window Elizabeth held it up to let the sun look through it, the red color was like none she'd seen before, except once. A shiver ran from the tips of her fingers down to her toes.
Somehow it seemed inevitable that one day the Valentine tradition would hurt as much as it healed. She'd been lucky so far. Till now the gesture had only been loving and sweet. This Valentine's Day seemed to slam into her like a wrecking ball.
Picking up the tainted flowers, Elizabeth put them in water. She pocketed the glass in her robe and went upstairs to shower and dress. Coming back down she found a reason to smile. She hadn't read the card yet. Before she could open it her cell rang and a chill came over Elizabeth. The morning's activities lent an ominous feeling to the call. She almost didn't answer till the caller ID caught her eye.
"Cam!" Elizabeth exclaimed with relief. She didn't even bother to wait for the video stream to connect.
"Hi Mom."
"Oh, baby. I'm so glad you called. Happy Valentine's Day. Thanks for the roses…" she swallowed past the swelling button, "and the glass."
"Great! You got it already. You're welcome. But I have a better present for you."
"You sound so close?" Elizabeth switched to speaker and clicked on the video option.
"That's because I am! Ta-da! Happy Valentine's." The link connected and in streamed a blurry picture.
"Is that your cheek? Let me see your whole face."
She watched the picture change and refocus. Cameron's handsome smile greeted her. She could see the docks in the background.
"You're home? Oh Cam…" she felt the tears burn the corners of her eyes again. After so long keeping them at bay why was she breaking down left and right today?
"Mom. Awe, don't cry. Come meet me on the docks."
"You don't want to come by the house?"
"Naw. It's a beautiful day. Cold. But lovely." With his phone Cam panned the area to show her clear blue skies dotted with white puffy clouds and calm waters.
"Everything all right Cam? You sound… off?" Elizabeth detected anxiousness in his voice like the last time he came home from his trekking. That time he brought a Norwegian girl home. She didn't last, which only meant his sweet talk was free to work its charm on another unsuspecting female.
"I'm fine. Just come down here."
"Ok. Which pier? I'm bringing Edward. He needs to move and he'd love to see you as much as I would."
"No. Mom..."
"Why not, if we're going for a walk? He's YOUR dog." Countering his video she showed him Ed sitting at her feet, tongue wagging, his pink nose sniffing the screen.
"Geez. Ok, fine."
