Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi.
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InuYasha's Bachelor Party
"Poor fool! He has no idea what he's walking into!" Miroku grinned to himself as he walked with InuYasha to the hut where the guys were waiting. Kagome had taken him into her confidence, and they planned this thing down to the letter. He couldn't help but be amazed at the magic in Kagome's time. Miroku could barely keep from laughing as he imagined how the others would react. Outside, the hut was dead quiet. Inside, they sat staring at one another.
"So, who wants some Sake?" Miroku said, picking up the box that InuYasha had brought earlier in the day
"Can I have some too?" Shippo asked, dying to be one of the "big" guys
"Uh, I don't think so Shippo" InuYasha shook his head. "Don't think Kagome would want you drinking."
"Kagome's not even here!"
"Yeah, but if your going to live with us, you better get used to living by her rules"
"Guess we know who will be wearing the pants in that hut" Koga grinned
"Shut up flea bag" InuYasha grabbed a bottle of sake, Hell with staying sober. If he was going to put up with Sesshomaru and Koga, he was going to do it drunk. He gave a bottle to everyone, surprised that even Sesshomaru accepted it. Usually he was a stickler for being in control.
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The text from here on contains intentional spelling errors!
An hour later, no one was feeling much in the way of pain.
"So" Koga stood, wobbling slightly "Here's a toast to my buddy InuYHassa"
He hooked his arm around InuYasha's head
"And the beautiful woman who holds the chain around his neck" Miroku added with a smirk.
They all laughed, including InuYasha.
"Kagome don't control me! I control me." He grinned "She just tells me what I want to do" he laughed, falling off the box he was sitting on. The box tipped over.
"What the hell'z that?" Sesshomaru asked, slurring slightly
Inuyasha crawled to it "I knows what this is. It's Kagome's DDD box".
"What the hell does it do?" Sesshomaru moved closer to get a better look
"It shows moving pictures"
"What are pictures?" Koga asked
"There like people, but their on paper."
"how'd they get on there?" Koga persisted
"They shove em in camera things."
"What's a camera?"
"Koga, shut up or I'll kick the shit outta ya"
"You and who else mutt?"
"I wanna see what this thing does" Sesshomaru sat down hard on the floor
"okay" Miroku clicked the open the personal DVD player, then pushed play the way that Kagome had shown him. He couldn't hide his grin, he had watched it earlier and anxiously awaited the others reactions.
"Wow, there are people stuck in there" Koga watched the screen, transfixed
"Damn, you can see right through her clothes" InuYasha said, mouth hanging open.
"Damn" Sesshomaru said, transfixed
"I've never seen anyone dressed like that there. Wouldn't if Kagome did." InuYasha giggled
"Now she's taking them off" Koga asked
"Damn" Sesshomaru's mouth was hanging open
"What's wrong with that idiot?" Inuyasha asked "Can't even take off his own clothes. Guess he's not like us men huh."
They all grunted
"Damn" Sesshomaru repeated again, looking like he was ready to drool.
"Why are they taking their clothes off anyway" Koga slurred "Oh…that's why." He laughed
"Shit!" Sesshomaru yelled "She's not going to…Oh! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! she is!. Look at her!"
"What is she doing?" Shippo asked, pulling on InuYasha's arm and trying to see the screen, but his view was blocked.
"He's uh…they're…" InuYasha fumbled for an appropriate answer
"Damn right he is!!!" Koga yelled out as the others laughed
"What are they doing InuYasha?" Shippo still stared
"Yeah, what are they doing InuYasha?" Koga nearly fell over on his side from laughing
"They're uh.." InuYasha tried to focus, no matter what he answered Kagome was sure to hear about it and let him have it.
"Uh ….What, Little brother? " Sesshomaru snickered , swigging wine straight from the bottle, almost dropping it when he glanced up at the dvd player.
"HOLY HELL, Where is he gonna stick THAT? No way…He can't put it………."
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" They all yelled at once
"That woman's gotta be a demon if she can do that!" Koga laughed,
"InuYasha! Tell me what they are doing!" Shippo was getting annoyed, he was being left out of some joke and he didn't like it, "InuYasha!"
InuYasha looked around helplessly at the others, they were no help. Sesshomaru stared, eyes glued to the screen as if he were in a trance. Miroku covered his face with his hand, peeking out now and then to laugh at their foolishness , and Koga kept making jokes, cracking himself up and rolling on the floor, delighted with his own humor, even if no one else was.
"Uh….."InuYasha started to hiccup
"You GUYS!" Shippo jumped up and down, unable to get anyone's attention or see the screen as the other huddled around it. "Hey, I'm still here you know!"
They still ignored him.
"Bring that wench to me!" Sesshomaru yelled
"No, send her to me" Koga stepped in
"Your …hic.. mated" InuYasha shook his head
"So what. My woman knows who's boss"
"Ayame would slap you silly if she heard you talking like that" Miroku grinned
"Hell yeah she would" Koga grinned
"InuYasha…." InuYasha tore his eyes away from the tv to look at the little kitsune who glared at him "Are you gonna tell me or not?"
"Yeah, InuYasha, tell him" Sesshomaru challenged with a poorly concealed smirk
"Uh…hic…they're" Everyone's eyes were on him, and he blushed "They're …. cleaning the hic table"
"Why are they doing it naked?"
Everyone broke up.
"Hey, Shippo" InuYasha motioned him over to him "I think its time for you….hic…to go be with the girls now.
"You guys are getting weird anyway" Shippo shook his head and left the hut
The movie ended and Miroku shut the tv off. Koga looked at InuYasha, trying not to laugh "Cleaning the table?"
"If you had a better explanation…hic…. than you should have answered him"
"InuYasha" Sesshomaru said, waiting for the hanyou to look at him
"Hic…what…"
"ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH" everyone jumped when Sesshomaru jumped to his feet barring his claws.
"What the hell!" InuYasha looked up, blinking at his brother
"Are you hiccupping anymore?" He grinned down
"No."
"Then it worked." Sesshomaru grinned smugly and sat back down
"Tanks, I Tink"
Miroku reached into the box and pulled out a small clear bottle and some plastic glasses.
"I don't know what this stuff is, but Kagome said to only drink a small bit of it."
He poured some and passed the bottle to InuYasha "Feh. I'm a man, I don't need to sip like a girl." The others grunted in response. InuYasha looked at the bottle "Looks like water to me." He poured his glass half full and the others copied him.
"To InuYasha and Kagome" Miroku raised his glass "May she bear him many, many children, and may they all look like her"
"Hell YA!" They downed the tequila in a single gulp and nearly choked to death
"What the HELL was that?" Sesshomaru asked
"Guess we know now why we were suppose to sip it." Miroku said, trying to catch his breath.
"Damn, I think I am getting drunk" InuYasha said
"Don't get too drunk InuYassa. Kagome might want you to clean the table later" Sesshomaru said, cracking the others up
"I'm a man dammit. I kin hold my sake. I MAN after all. I Am a MAN! A man man!" He beat on his chest "I is a tough warrior man. "
"Yah, till Kaome gets you whipped warrior man" Miroku laughed
Sesshomaru tried to figure out why there were suddenly two InuYasha's "But, I got to tell ya'll something bout this brother of mine. "He closed one eye and pointed at the Inuyasha who was left. " He's one tuff hanyou son -of- a - IN-U-yokai. Took the best I could dish out and still walkin round to talk about it"
InuYasha waved him off "You let me liff."
"Hell no. Why'd this Sessho-ma-ru-ru wanna do a dumb ass thing like that?"
"Cos, yur my bruther." he grinned "Sides, I'm too cute to kill"
"Bull. Evyone knows I got the looks."
"You wish."
"Well, I may have the looks, but, you got the woman. Kagome is one fine woman. Very fine indeed."
They all nodded
"Sango too. Cant wait till she's my wife and I get to grab her butt anytime I want to" Miroku interjected.
"I'm the luckiest son of bitch that ever lived." InuYasha nodded
"Damn right" Miroku agreed.
"Hell yeah you are." Koga looked at InuYasha "Tell you this right now. Id a kill ya to get her, cept that would'a just made her cry, so I let you live."
"Fhanks, I tink." InuYasha fixed Koga with a bloodshot eye.
"You hurt her tho…I swear I'll find you and cut your itty bitty little puppy penis off" He shook his head
"I'll show you a little pecker dickhead…I mean, I can't since I aint got one…A little one I mean …besides I aint gonna hurt her wolf-poop, I luff her."
"You better take good care off her dog-shit"
"Don't worry bout Kagome…. She's mine woman. I take care of was mine" He looked at Miroku quietly reading in the corner " Hey, Miroku, what ya lookin at?"
"Picture books that Kagome put in the box"
"Anymore DDD things? "Sesshomaru asked, "I kinda liked that DDD thing."
"Nope, but lots of pictures." He flicked a magazine to Sesshomaru
"We'll, damn. Is that all they do in your woman's place Inu yahsaa? Sure you don't wanna live there?" he snickered "Looks like more fun than battling demons"
"Hell yeah" InuYasha grinned "I mean…I think… it is" he turned redder than his robe.
"So, the truth comes out" Miroku laughed
"That's none of your bizzniss monk. And I never sa………"
"Ex-monk hanyou"
"Whaever"
"Hey, Innuyassa….you and your woman ever do that?" Sesshomaru flipped open the book for all to see
If possible, InuYasha turned even redder. Thank GOD she had removed the necklace. Otherwise, if Kagome caught wind of this she would sit him till his head flew off.
"Hey, check it out." Miroku laughed pointing at Koga
InuYasha laughed uproariously "wolf shit passed out cold!"
"Someone get some warm water!" InuYasha laughed "Kagome told me about a trick "
A few minutes later they sat in front of Koga and dipped his hand in the water, shortly they got the effect they expected. him with something before he stinks the place up!" Miroku laughed. They threw a blanket over him and left him to sleep
Miroku picked up the magazines and stacked them back in the box
"So, now what? I'm starting to get sober again" InuYasha looked up at the ceiling.
"Want some more wine?" Miroku held out a bottle
"Hell yeah." InuYasha grabbed for the bottle then sat back against the wall. "I mean, if you insist."
"Anyone wanna watch the moving thing again?" Sesshomaru asked
"I do." Miroku turned on the tv. After a awhile InuYasha tapped Sesshomaru with his foot and pointed to Miroku. His head was slumped on his shoulder and he snored
"Weakling" The elder grinned at the younger. InuYasha got up and shut the DVD off.
"Humans just aren't as strong as demons."
"Well, Koga's a demon, but, he's a wimp"
"Shall we teach him a lesson?"
"Definitely" InuYasha dug out ink and a brush and the brothers decorated Miroku's face.
"Shhhhh" Sesshomaru cautioned InuYasha to quiet his laughing, he laughed just as hard and blackened Miroku's eye's "You'll wake him up"
Sesshomaru made a few final strokes of the brush then sat back against the wall by InuYasha to admire his handiwork.
"Good work" InuYasha grinned. He picked up Miroku's almost full bottle and passed it to Sesshomaru to share "Serves him right for sneaking behind my back and plotting with Kagome." He grinned
"She went to a lot of trouble"
InuYasha nodded "That's Kagome. She does these things, without even a second thought."
"Your lucky to have her."
He nodded again "I don't deserve her. I was really stupid, for a really long time."
"No argument from me" Sesshomaru grinned and passed the bottle back
He grinned back "When I think of how close I came to losing her because of my stupidity." He shook his head
Sesshomaru shrugged "But you didn't. If it wasn't for her, I would have killed you a long time ago. So, I am thankful for her also."
InuYasha grinned mischievously "Your right, except I would have killed you, not the other way around"
Sesshomaru smiled and took the bottle back "Not a chance, but anyway, Thanks to her, we will never know." He thought a minute "Father would have approved of her as your mate."
"You think so? Keh, you'd be the one to know…I never even knew him."
"He was impressive, and intimidating."
"Even to you?"
"Particularly to me. I was like a child, even as an adult. Seeking his approval in everything. When I didn't get it the way I wished, I rebelled. Maybe my hate for you was part of my rebellion. He would be very proud of the man you have become."
"You know what I think?" InuYasha asked
"What?"
"I think I'm drunk."
Sesshomaru laughed heartily. "And you have to be at your best tomorrow."
InuYasha grinned "Kagome is going to kill me."
"She loves you. She's a good woman, a beautiful woman. Every man in this room would have gladly taken her for their mate, but you got her."
"Including you?"
"I could never have been worthy of her. Her loyalty alone amazes me."
"Jaken is loyal"
"Jaken is a whining wimp. And Kagome is much nicer to look at." He grinned slightly
"So you did notice."
"I do have eyes little brother"
"You have Rin."
"She's growing up. Soon I must begin to search out a suitable husband for her."
"Why not you?"
"She has been with me since she was a very little girl. She is as much my daughter as you are my brother."
InuYasha took the bottle back, shook it and found it empty. He reached in the box "Last bottle. There is some of that clear stuff left. I don't know about you, but I don't want to touch that crap ever again."
He gave a short laugh "I agree"
He sat back down and took a long swallow, then handed the bottle to Sesshomaru " I hope that you find someone" InuYasha looked at Sesshomaru earnestly.
"I was born to travel this world alone."
"No, I thought that once too, but.."
"Not everyone is as blessed as you. I have watched you together. It is easy to see the love you share. I cant give myself to another that freely."
"Even demons feel lonely."
"If a demon is strong enough, he can control those feelings. He must, to survive."
InuYasha sighed sadly and looked away.
"I wish there was a way for you to be there tomorrow." InuYasha said softly
"I will have no friend there, no one to represent the family."
"He will be there." Sesshomaru said with a small nod, his eyes falling to the Tetsusiaga.
"Yeah, I guess…."
Sesshomaru didn't answer. InuYasha bumped his arm "Sesshomaru?"
Sesshomaru's chin rested on his chest. InuYasha moved and gently laid him flat on the floor and covered him with a blanket. He out lasted them all, even his big brother the big strong full demon. He grinned. He had a date to keep, but he took an extra minute and covered Sesshomaru with a blanket, grinned and picked up the ink and brush.
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Coming up next: Kagome's Bachelorette Party!
Coming Soon!
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