There I am, minding my own business, gaming in my room, when enters a pissed as hell Riku, looking (undeniably sexy when he's angry, by the way) ready to charge something over like a bull on crack.

And he's headed right in my direction.

Aw, shit. Did he figure out I tried to let his secret slip to the oblivious Sora?

"Tidus! You, me, spar, now."

I blink, and he throws his bangs out of his face, his eyes looking like the embodiment of the word murder. He's looking at me like I killed his mom or something.

"Oooookay Riku, just calm down a bit. What's up?" I say apprehensively, holding my hands up in what I hope is a defensive-looking gesture.

And all at once, explosion.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WITH SORA?! WHY IS HE AVOIDING ME?! DID YOU DO SOMETHING TO HIM?!"

I blink, pushing myself as far up against my chair as I possibly can.

Whoa. Yikes. Me no likey angry Riku. And hell no, I'm definitely not about to spar with this guy.

Wait a minute. Did he just ask me if I did something with Sora? Hah! If only he knew. After all, I'm pretty sure Sora's only gay for Riku.

And you know what really sucks? Riku's got a major thing for his stupid oblivious best friend. And not for me.

But to the present.

"Wait, what? What do you mean what did I do to Sora?" I say, and he snorts, crossing his arms and continuing his glare o' death. I rethink my strategy, continuing, "We just had a chat a few days ago, and I think I helped him realize some things-"

He snorts again, though it's really closer to a snarl, looking more and more pissed off.

"Really. And just how did you go about helping Sora realize these things?"

Am I really digging myself in this deep?

Dig a hole, dig a hole.

Shit Tidus, what are you doing?

"Okay, look, obviously things are a little confused here. I know you have a thing for Sora-"

"You have no idea what you're talking about." He snaps, and I can feel his glare continue to burn away my soul, little by little.

"Just let me finish, okay!" I shout, suddenly irritated myself by just how butt-headed Riku can be. He obviously has no idea how transparent he is. "Whatever you say, you have a thing for Sora. And when we were talking, he asked my how I figured out I was gay. So I told him that I just noticed I was checking out more guy's butts than girl's boobs, and that I was dreaming of guys rather than girls... All that stuff." I pause, gaging Riku's reaction. It looks like he's calming down a bit. "So then Sora totally flips a shit and starts freaking out thinking he might be gay or have a crush on someone, something like that, and he almost knocks the boat over," I chance a look at Riku here, and he's visibly relaxed. I consider yelling out 'then we kissed!' but decided this would be a bad time to make a bad joke about something that never happened. "Anyway, I calm him down, we go out to the island and hang out with Kairi. That's all that happened."

Riku unfolds his arms, running a hand through his hair, and sits on my bed... Which gives me a mild heart attack, because I've really wanted to have Riku on my bed for quite a while.

Too bad it will never be the way I want it to be.

Oh cruel world, why must I crush on the one I can never have?

Crap.

So now it's silent, and I can almost hear him think. I take the chance to admire him while he isn't looking so he doesn't get creeped out by the fact that I might be sightly obsessed with him.

"So... you're telling me that Sora might think he's gay?"

I sigh, resigned.

"Pretty much."

"Oh," he says, pausing for a minute. "And nothing... happened... between you guys?"

"Not a damn thing," I smile a bit, "You know I don't get any action on this island."

He chuckles, much more relaxed now, and I'm happy I could make him laugh. After he came back, he just looked so... somber.

All the time.

Except around Sora, but everyone knows that's when Riku smiles the most.

"Well," he looks a bit sheepish. Sweet! I get a Riku apology. "Sorry about earlier. I guess I'm just a little-"

"Territorial?" It's my turn to interrupt him. His smile fades and he nods. "Well I think you should tell him what's on your mind. You guys have been through everything together, he's your best friend. Just let him know."

Another snort.

"Right, so he can keep avoiding my like I'm his homework."

I think on that a bit. Hm. I'd much rather see Riku happy, even if it isn't with me. So how can I be sly about this without just busting out with a 'Hey, Riku, you're a dumbass. Who else would Sora have a crush on? Wakka? Really, cause I'd kill-'

My eyes involuntarily squeeze shut. Dammit, stop that train of thought, Tidus. Don't think about him right now.

I take a deep breath, calming myself before I say to Riku, "Well, I think he might like you back."

Riku looks up, shocked.

I throw my hands up, rolling my eyes, "Come on man, you're so far out of the closet that it's a speck on the horizon. Well, at least to anyone who's been there." I say, and his expression is completely unreadable. Well, I guess it's still a bit deer-in-headlights, but it's hard to tell with his bangs in his face.

He sighs, and let's go of the fact that I've figured him out. "Just... do me a favor and don't let Sora know. I really think it'd freak him out. I mean, really, really make him lose it. And... I don't... I don't want to lose my best friend."

I shake my head at him.

"Riku, sometimes you're as stupid as Sora. You guys have been friends since before you were born, there's nothing that's gonna split you guys apart."

"I'll tell him in my own time." He sighs. "Besides, maybe this will fade..."

My amused smile drops, and I can't help looking at the ground. There he comes again, into my mind like a fucking firestorm. Riku may be my crush, but...

"Crushes come and go, Riku. But love, real love... That never really goes away."

He looks at me carefully, but he can feel I'm not talking about him.

"Thanks, Tidus."

"No problem, Riku. I'm always here," I say, forcing my smile back on my face. Hey, I'm not Sora, but I'm a happy guy, right?

And with a nod, he leaves.

And I'm left with thoughts of tan skin and red hair and a funny accent wrapped in one package.

ooo

I feel like my stomach is going to explode as I walk back from Tidus' house. Fucking butterflies.

Sora thinks he might be gay!

Shit, stop it Riku, it doesn't really mean anything. He could just be confused, and what's more, it probably isn't you he has a crush on. He's probably been avoiding you because he thinks you'd flip on him if he told you he thought he was gay.

That has to be it.

But I wonder who he has a crush on?

God, when I thought that Tidus had done something... anything... with Sora, I could swear I felt my entire chest fall to the ground with me still standing. And then there was that awful jealous rage, where I just wanted to take Tidus - my friend of 10 years - and pummel his head straight into the ground.

I wanted to beat the gay out of him so he'd leave my Sora alone.

But as it is, it makes sense. Tidus would never force himself on anyone, he's not even really comfortable with making moves on any guy yet, much less Sora. Sora who he's shown no interest in thus far. I mean, I think Tidus checks me out more than he does Sora.

So, Sora thinks he's gay.

But... what does that even me for me? Could... Maybe... Could I have a shot? Well, maybe I could at least flirt some, maybe I could distract him away from whoever he's crushing on. (God help the bastard if I find out who he is. My looks actually can kill.)

I shake my head roughly.

Shit, no, I couldn't hurt anyone that Sora carese about. If this person could make him happy, could I really crush that chance at happiness? I could never be the cause of Sora's pain... Not again. Never again.

I feel myself deflate. Even if it was me, even if I did have a chance at his heart... I couldn't take it. I can't...

But...

Damn, sometimes I just want to hold his hand.

ooo

My name is Sora, and I'm walking on sunshine!

Well, I'm actually floating because my stomach is filled with nerves and knots, mostly because during this week and weekend I'm going to test out Kairi's theory.

Hmmmm... Maybe I could try more hugs? Would he mind if I held his hand dragging him somewhere? What if I just... grabbed his hand, held it in mine?

...I wonder how he kisses?

Man. I just want to touch him. All over.

But this is so weird! A few days ago I thought I was interested in girls... And now I'm having dreams about sexing up my best guy friend!

But when I really think about it, is it really that much of a surprise? I mean, I cried when I saw him, actually cried. And I missed him so bad, so terribly... I wanted to see him safe so much, and he just kept running away...

I think that's what hurt the most. He was running from me... from me, from Sora, his best friend. I know he thought I betrayed him and then he betrayed me and somewhere along the way he felt guilty as hell... But still, he had to know I would always forgive him! I couldn't ever leave Riku.

I would never have left either of them. I love them both so much.

Just one of them is in kind of a sexual 'I want to have your babies except that's not possible' kind of way.

Could I spend the rest of my life with Riku? Like that? I still get weirded out when I think about sex.

Stop it Sora.

Geesh, what happened to me? I never really thought about sex, and now I'm just so horny all the time. What a word. Hahaha! ... horny. Hehehe.

I guess this is what they call a 'sexual awakening.'

But I'm interested in boys! Seriously, what the hell? How have I not noticed before?

Or is it just Riku? Has it always just been Riku?

I nearly stop walking, finding myself thinking about that. I mean, just when I was hitting puberty, I was thrown into this insane adventure, and I guess... I never really thought about my sexuality. I mean, there was Kairi, and... I thought, you know, that maybe something would come of it. Boys and girls, right? That's how it was supposed to be. I never really questioned it. I loved Kairi, and I loved Riku. To me, it was all the same.

So when did it change? When did I finally wake up to the scream of my body to seek something more? Am I really as naive as people think?

...Shit. I totally am.

But when did that love turn to... to this? And why Riku? Why not Kairi?

I spent all that time looking for him and thinking about him and missing him... And when we got back I was with him and Kairi all the time. Maybe that's when it started? But I had missed Kairi too!

But there was something about Riku. There is something about Riku. He knows me better than anyone, has been through hell and back for me, and I would easily do the same for him. I dunno, I can't describe it. And I know I'm attracted to him; duh.

But how? Maybe the attraction started when Tidus started checking out Riku and it kinda peeved me a lot. When I think back on it, I'm such an idiot. Really, I didn't know why I got so irritated? Duh, Sora. It's because you were jealous.

I scrunch my eyebrows in irritation, nearly groaning out loud because Riku just isn't gay!

What if I just end up embarrassing myself trying to flirt, as usual?

There's that stupid doubt again. How lame

And, well then it'd just be usual. And he'd understand, probably just laughing it off and telling me it was alright. Besides, Riku won't ever leave me again. He promised.

And after everything, why would something like this bother him? Exactly! It wouldn't!

It'll just really suck if he doesn't feel the same.

But I think Kairi is right, I'm never going to know unless I try. Soooo I'm gonna invite him to spend the night Friday, and if the next two days go okay, and he doesn't seem all weirded out when I sit close or touch him more, then I think I'll step it up. On Friday I mean. Maybe.

If I don't crap my pants. (It's not my fault I'm prone to that in nerve-racking romantic situations!)

As I'm walking home, cogitating (Kairi taught me that word the other day after I asked her what it meant because she said Riku cogitates too much), here comes the new found object of my affections.

Poop.

Act natural, Sora!

"Riku! Hey!" I wave, walk/running up to him. He looks pretty surprised, and I can tell he was just having a major 'I'm Riku and I'm all mysterious and cogitating' moment. So, naturally, I grin like an idiot and attack!

"Attack the moping Riku, he must go down!" And before he can say another word, I'm on him like white on rice, knocking him to the ground and straddling his abs.

Man they're solid.

No, Sora. Not now. Friday. Friday.

He smiles up at me, pushing me off him. "Fine, fine, jackass. And I wasn't moping," he says, and I roll my eyes, pulling him up. "What are you doing, anyway? I thought Kairi had a paper for you to write."

I blink stupidly. What is he talking about?

Oh, yeah.

Cue the mental bonk on the head.

"Well I got out of it because I didn't 'feel good.' Heheh!" I laugh, knowing it's a complete lie.

He looks at me like he knows it's a complete lie.

"Okay," he shrugs, apparently brushing it off. "Wanna go play video games instead?"

Guess he's just gonna let it slide. Major relief for me... Go Sora! Good days!

So unlike those bad ones when I didn't have him.

"Yes! My house or yours?"

"Well, your's is two houses down..."

I can feel myself blush.

But opportunity!

"Alright, my house it is then!" I grab his hand and start running, "Maybe mom will have dinner ready and you can eat with us!"

"Sounds... uh... great!" I hear him half call.

ooo

I'm Riku, I hate natural reactions, and I'm blushing.

Because he's holding my hand.


A/N: Sorry so short, (and sorry Sora is so A.D.D., but he just came out that way!) but if I had included the rest it would be a much to long chapter. But AHHHHH the sweetness! It burns my teeth tingly! Got to love pessimistic Riku. Makes you want to squeeze him.

Please show some love, you wonderful lovely people! Tell me how you like it!

Much love.

Update: 4-3-08 -I'm totally aware of how much this story blows now. Geebus. Anyway, just added a few things to help this make more sense and not seem like a retarded four year old with romance issues wrote it. Hopefully spelling/formatting mistakes are fixed. Enjoy.