December- Year Seven

Gryffindor Common room

Lily

The holidays were fast approaching. Being in her seventh year, Lily was swamped with homework. She had essays due for every class, diagrams for at least half of them and spells she was supposed to be practicing. A few of the longer, more in depth essays were due immediately after break but Lily was trying to finish those before break, or at least have a thorough start on them. Lily's father had been growing more ill since last year and she worried that this might be his last Christmas and Lily wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. But that meant she was more stressed than most of her seventh year peers as she worked to complete her homework.

It was late now, nearing midnight, and most of the Gryffindors had retired to their beds. Even the flames in the fireplace were beginning to dim, soon to turn to nothing but embers and Lily knew within an hour she would probably be working by wand light.

James had gone up to his dorm about a half an hour ago, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before racing up the stairs with Remus and Peter. But in all honesty, with how tired everyone was from their heavy course load, it looked more like a contest of who could crawl up the stairs first. Only one marauder remained in the common room, and in fact, was the only person who remained in the room at all aside from Lily.

Sirius had been distracting Lily all night. She had been curled up in her armchair for hours, surrounded by books. Sirius hadn't bothered her with jokes or off-handed comments. He hadn't even approached or addressed her all night. But every time Lily glanced up over whichever book she was reading or whatever paper she was working on, Sirius' eyes seemed to be on her. She couldn't read the look in his dark eyes, nor had she the time to question what the look was, but he wanted something. And she could only imagine that his staying behind was a plan to engage her in conversation. She was right.

"Alright, Evans, we need to talk," Sirius said, perching himself on her armrest.

Lily sighed, bookmarking the page she was on in her textbook and glared over at Sirius. Not so much because he was distracting her from her work, as her eyes were growing itchy from reading anyway, but because he was much too far into her person bubble. But she had guessed this was coming, whatever it was, and was prepared. "Alright, Black, what is it?"

"You've been dating my best mate for a little over a month now, officially anyway."

"Yes?" Lily raised an eyebrow. Where was this going? And should she feel apprehensive?

Sirius' gazed bored into her, making her want to fidget. But Lily knew this was an intimidation tactic and she wasn't going to fall for it. Instead, she squared her shoulders, staring right back at the person James jokingly told Lily was her competition.

"You're not jealous, are you Sirius?" Lily spoke first. "Because we all know there will always be a piece of James' heart that will forever have your name on it."

"Very funny, Evans," Sirius said dryly but Lily could see the amusement in his eyes that he was clearly trying to squash. "We all know you could never take my place; I'm not worried. What I am worried about, are your intentions."

This threw Lily for a loop. She didn't expect that to leave Sirius' mouth. She wasn't even sure what that meant. "Pardon?"

"Up until last year, you hated James. I saw you reject him over and over again. And not with a simple 'no' either; I saw you stomp on his heart at every opportunity and I'm curious to know if that's what you plan on doing again. Are you just taking James for a ride? Because I can't let you break his heart again."

Sirius' tone was casual, as though he was talking about the weather. But Lily was surprised, only able to stare at Sirius with wide eyes. She'd never broken James' heart. Had she? Lily had assumed all these years James was more trying to antagonize Lily rather than acting on true feelings. He certainly came off that way.

"I didn't ever break his heart," Lily stuttered, ready to explain her past dealings with James, but Sirius cut her off.

"Oh? How about in our third year when James finally got the balls to ask you out and you tore him to shreds?"

December- Year Three

The Great Hall

Sirius

Christmas was coming in just a week, which was never cause for much excitement for Sirius. Christmas at the Black home was anything but merry. His experience mostly consisted of being berated by his mother for being a blood traitor and a disgrace while his brother, Regulus, watched, waiting to be patted on the head for being 'the good son'. Naturally, that meant Sirius barely even left his room, especially for Christmas dinner; meaning he spent most of his break practically starving to death until he got back to Hogwarts where he would engorge himself at the beginning of term feast and make himself sick.

But this year Sirius only had to spend Christmas day locked up in his room, as he was planning on staying the majority of break at the Potter home with James and his parents. So for once, Sirius was excited for break and for the first time in several years, he found himself in a very good mood. In celebration of his good mood, Sirius was enjoying a hearty breakfast this morning instead of glumly staring into a bowl of porridge and dreading his day of classes. At least, he was trying to. But this particular morning James seemed intent on spoiling Sirius' merriment.

James was lively in the morning, more lively than most students; always desperately trying to engage his non enthusiastic friends in conversation. The sickening display of morning chipperness was due to the early hour that James rose. He was always awake soon after dawn so he could get in early Quidditch practice before breakfast. Even now that the weather was no longer nice for early morning practice, James was still programmed to be up early and his extra time to get his energy levels up before his friends awoke often left him in such a perky mood in the morning that Sirius always wanted to slap him.

Today was different. Gone was the energetic James, replaced by a brooding teenager who was absentmindedly poking at the uneaten eggs on his plate. Sirius could practically feel the aura of moodiness radiating off of his friend. And Sirius had no need to wonder where the mood was coming from, considering James' continual glances down the Gryffindor table told Sirius all he needed to know.

"Just go ask her to the dance," Sirius sighed, referring to the small dance hosted in the Great Hall every year the night before break began.

James fidgeted. It could have been the sunlight filtering through the enchanted ceiling, but Sirius thought James looked a little green. Nervousness was not something James was accustomed to feeling but maybe girls did that to boys? In Sirius' experience, that had never been a problem. The older they seemed to get, the more flirtatious looks the girls seemed to throw his way. And James' way as well, but James had been intent on Lily for ages now.

"I can't," James said meekly, trying to hide his face.

"Ugh," Sirius rolled his eyes. Looking sadly at his breakfast, which had only been partially eaten, Sirius got to his feet, pulling James up with him.

"Sirius..." James tried desperately.

"Stop being pathetic and go ask her," Sirius rolled his eyes. "What's the worst that could happen?"

James looked doubtful but Sirius shoved him in the direction of Lily and James carefully approached her. Sirius stayed behind, still standing to watch the display but not wanting to step in James' way. He had to do this on his own.

James finally made his way over to Lily, stopping behind her. He cleared his throat. "Lily..."

Lily didn't turn in her seat. Either she hadn't heard James, or she was ignoring him.

"Lily," James tried again, a bit louder.

Sirius saw Lily sighed and finally swivel in her seat, looking up at James, who appeared to be doing his best not to nervously play with his hair or riddle with his hands. But his hands went up to his hair, ranking through it nervously.

"What do you want, Potter?" Lily demanded when James did not immediately speak.

"Well...uh...you know, the Christmas dance is in a few days. Would you like to go with me?"

Lily's eyes narrowed, her face twisting and Sirius could feel his stomach drop. Finally, she spoke. "James, I could think of nothing worse than attending that dance with you."

James' face dropped, appearing completely crushed. But Lily paid him no mind. She promptly turned right back around, returning to her breakfast.

James stood there a moment longer, seemingly in shock. Finally, his shoulders drooped and he sluggishly made his way back towards his friends. When he reached Sirius, he didn't even make eye contact. He didn't sit back down. He just grabbed his backpack by his abandoned seat and made his way out of the hall.

Sirius stood, not knowing what to do. He glanced down the table to Lily Evans, who had started chatting with her friends. She laughed at something one of them had said, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she did so. Sirius' eyes narrowed.

December- Year Seven

Gryffindor Common room

Lily

Lily frowned at the memory. The look on Sirius' face made her want to be feel ashamed, but she wasn't going to. Instead, she felt herself grow defensive. "He asked me out in front of all of those people! Just threw that at me! How was I supposed to react?"

Sirius looked exasperated. "You could have politely declined. Maybe you could have asked to speak with him in private to turn him down. If you were feeling really generous, you could have even said yes. You didn't have to completely humiliate him like that."

Lily crossed her arms over her chest. "If you recall, I wasn't exactly a fan of any of you at that point. You were bullies."

"To your Slytherin buddy who, hello, turned out to be a death eater!"

Lily bristled at the mention of Severus. It had been well over a year since their falling out, but it still stung to think about him. "He is not a death eater!"

"Not right now, not under the watchful gaze of Dumbledore, but the minute he walks out of these halls for good, he's going to march himself straight to Voldemort and offer him his arm," Sirius shot back.

Lily's jaw clenched. She knew he was right of course. Severus had made it very clear about his beliefs. But she didn't want to hear about it. And she certainly didn't want to be patronized for her choice in friends. Severus hadn't always been who he was now. And for that matter, James hadn't always been who he was now.

"James has not always been a person I would choose to associate with," Lily said, her eyes narrowed. She shouldn't have to defend herself for not wanting to date James.

"You didn't even know James," Sirius replied. "You didn't even give him the chance to show you who he really is."

"Well he didn't exactly give off good impressions," Lily rolled her eyes. Honestly, could Sirius really not see how horrible his friends, and himself, appeared to others?

"Well we were right, weren't we? We knew Snape was a slimy git the moment we saw him. It took you how many years to figure that out?"

Lily was suddenly on her feet, her eyes narrowed, her face red from ire, and her hands curled into fists. She didn't know why she didn't want Sirius to speak about Severus that way. After all, in Severus' world, she'd be the first to be eliminated. But he had been her best friend. He had been there all those years. He had cared for her.

"Even if Severus has chosen the wrong side, at least he never tried to kill any of you!" Lily fired at Sirius.

Sirius' eyes darkened. He knew what she was referring to, though by his expression, he wasn't aware that Lily had known. There was no denying his actions. Probably no use in defending them either. At least, not in a way that would make any sense to Lily. But there was one thing he could say, which was true. "Maybe not yet, Lily. But what do you think is going to happen after we leave the safety of these walls? The Ministry hasn't been real persistent on catching Voldemort or his tattooed terrorists. The war is only going to get worse. There will be violence, Lily. People will die. Some of our friends might die. And who is going to be at the end of the wand of one of the perpetrators? Your buddy, Snape. How many of our friends have to die before you realize what he is? Or will it be when his wand is pointed at you?"

Lily was fuming, her body shaking. What could she say to that? That Severus would never do something like that? These Death Eaters were fanatics and would resort to killing every muggle born and maybe even half born in their quest to purify the wizarding world. Lily didn't want to think Severus could be apart of that. She didn't want to believe it.

"We all knew what Snape was going to grow up to be," Sirius said, referring to his group of friends. "And we could debate whether what I did was right or wrong all night. But even if it was wrong, James saved that ungrateful prat. Snape was on a mission to hurt our friend but James still saved him. And you still wouldn't give him the time of day. So if you're wondering if I honestly believe you still might hurt James, then you're right. Because people change. James has changed, Snape has changed, at least according to you. But if you're so blind to what Snape is, then you might be just as blind when it comes to James. And I'm worried."

That was all Sirius said. He didn't give Lily a chance to respond. Instead, he turned on his heel and made his way up to the boy's dormitories. Lily didn't watch him leave. She peered down at the ground, still shaking, but feeling warm tears fill her eyes.

Lily finally sank back into the seat she had abandoned in her rage, trying to decide what had upset her so much. She thought it might be what Sirius had said about Severus, but she knew it wasn't. What Sirius had said about Severus was true, and Lily knew it. She'd known it for a while; which had helped her move past the end of their friendship. What had hurt her more, she decided with annoyance, was how little Sirius seemed to think of Lily's feelings for James. And that was silly, that Lily should care, but she did.

Lily had grown very fond of James, and it nearly frightened her in a way. She had long since grown past simply liking him. In a rather short period of time, Lily had grown to adore James. So much so that she wanted to meet his parents, and she wanted them to like her. She wanted his friends to like her. Because she wanted to be apart of James' life in every way. She was worried that he would break her heart.

"Lily?"

James

"Lily?" James asked tentatively.

Lily was seated in the spot he had left her. But she wasn't pouring over any homework. She seemed hunched in on herself. She raised her head when he said her name and her face was flushed. Her eyes look red-rimmed, like she'd been crying. She was the image of distress.

James frowned. He hadn't been upstairs long. He'd tried lying down, but sleep wouldn't come tonight. It was probably because he'd skipped dinner in an effort to finish an essay due tomorrow and his stomach had been growling. He had gotten out of bed to make his way down to the kitchens. But his hunger was forgotten at the moment as he saw his girlfriend.

"What's wrong?" James asked, approaching Lily. His mind wandered to the fact that Sirius had just come up to their dorm only five minutes ago. Had something happened between him and Lily?

"It's nothing, I'm fine," Lily tried to assure James with a shaky smile as he sat down in the seat beside her.

James frowned. "Come on, Lily. Give me more credit than that."

Lily simply stared over at James. Her eyes were far away and she remained silent for a long time. Finally, her eyes focused and she stared straight into James' eyes. "Did I really break your heart?"

"What?" James asked, thoroughly confused.

"All these years...did you really have feelings for me?"

More confusion. "Of course I did. Why else would I ask you out?"

Looking ashamed, Lily glanced down at the hands folded in her lap. "I thought maybe you were just trying to rile me up..."

James remained silent for a while before he answered. First, he sighed, which made Lily glance up. "I don't blame you for thinking that."

Lily's eyes flashed with surprise.

"I've been really immature the years we've known each other. And the other stuff I did was to rile you up. And I don't know why...I guess I liked to see the fire in your eyes. The passion you had for your friends, even if it was a friend I didn't like."

Lily's eyes scanned James' face, like she was looking for something, though James couldn't imagine what she was looking for. And then, suddenly, Lily laughed, catching James by surprise. "What?"

"You really have changed..." Lily said, tilting her head as she smiled.

James didn't have a clue what she was talking about, or why she found it funny. But he didn't care, because she was smiling at him. She was smiling so sweetly and with so much, dare he say love? It made his heart swell. It made him feel warm even though the fire had extinguished itself and the common room was turning cool. It made him want to do anything to see that smile.

"Hey, are you hungry?" James asked.

"What?" Lily responded, surprised at the sudden shift in conversation.

"I'm starving. I came down here to sneak to the kitchens. Do you want to come?" James offered, getting to his feet.

A small smile slipped onto Lily's face. "Well...I could go for a nice warm mug of cocoa."

James grinned, offering his hand to the redhead, which she took and he pulled her to her feet.

"We have to go under my cloak," James explained. "So you'll have to stay very close to me."

Lily gave James a coy smile that made his tummy twist pleasantly. "I don't think that will be a problem."


Author's Notes

So, short chapter. Honestly, I have no idea why this chapter went this way. It gets a little hard to remember what you plan on writing in a chapter when it takes you several weeks to write it. And often, it's not because I don't have the desire to write; it's that I go to write and then my infant doesn't allow it. So now you guys are stuck with this. Thank my daughter.

Like I said, I don't really know where I was going with this chapter. There turned out to be a lot of angst, didn't there? I have NO idea what the next chapter's theme should be. I still have a major plot point that I've eluded to in several chapters that I have to reveal. In the meantime, I don't know right now. Suggestions are always welcome!

Hopefully you enjoyed this enough! I always felt that Sirius wouldn't trust Lily when her and James first started dating, so this is my representation of what I think would have happened.

Thanks for reading!