"Why were you screaming for me to please stop? Was I hurting you?" my body immediately tenses up. Shit. Ever so gently, I untwine my fingers from his and look away, hoping he didn't feel my scars.
"It was nothing…" I said, my voice almost inaudible. Why is it so hard for me to lie to him right now?! I've been doing it just fine for two years (A/N: As long as he's realized his feelings for Hikaru) when I lied to him every day pretending I wasn't in love with him! Of course, Hikaru saw straight through me and hooked two fingers under my chin, forcing me to look at him.
"Don't lie to me; just tell me. Please Kao." He said softly. Forcing down the blush rising in my cheeks I sighed, knowing I'd have to tell him.
"Yes, Hika, you were hurting me." I reply avoiding looking into his eyes.
"How?" Hikaru asked, guilt now in the mix of emotions swirling in his eyes. Why would he feel guilty? It was just a dream. A very painful dream….
"Hika…" I whispered, trying to make him realize he doesn't want to know.
"Just tell me."
"You shoved me into the wall, you were punching me, and calling me these awful names." Just the memory of the terrible nightmare is enough to coax a single tear from my eye which Hikaru wipes away before looking into my eyes.
"But why Kao, why was I hurting you?" He asked and I started to panic inside. I can't tell him why! He'd hate me and my nightmare would become reality.
"Kao, come on." He whispered holding my face in his hands. There's absolutely no way I'm getting out of this; I'm going to have to tell him the truth. I gently wriggled away from himand once I was a safe distance away, I mumbled it under my breath.
"What was that, Kao?" I took a deep breath, mustering all my courage before answering.
"I said, it was because I told you that I'm in love with you, Hikaru." I answered, my voice just above a whisper and looked up into his eyes which were wide with shock. Everything is ruined. H e must hate me now, I must disgust him. I clenched my eyes shut, expecting him to yell or hit me, like in my nightmare but what I got instead was Hikaru's arms around me in a tight embrace. Now it was my turn to be shocked.
"H-Hika?"
"Kaoru…..I love you too, I have for years." He whispered and my heart melted. But there was one thing, one single word, that lingered in my mind.
"What about Haruhi?" Hikaru pulled away enough to look into my eyes and smiled.
"She knew about my feelings for you and when I tried to distance myself from you, she tried to talk me out of it. When I didn't listen she decided she'd help me. We're not actually dating Kao." He said, to which I sighed in relief. Suddenly his hand was running from where he had it wrapped around my back. It ran up my back, onto my shoulder, and then continued down my arm. I started to panic but I couldn't pull away, I'd wanted him to touch me like this for years. I was too late anyways, he'd already reached the bend of my arm.
Hikaru's hand ran over the older scars up near the bend of my arm and I winced when he touched the fresh cuts on my wrist from earlier, that's when he froze.
"Kao?" His golden orbs desperately tried to meet mine, but I refused. Ever so slowly he turned my arm so he could examine it as he brought it closer to his face, trailing his fingers over my arm, over my scars.
"Oh my god, Kaoru! These are….How could you do this to yourself?!" he cried, his voice filled with worry. It's too much for me to handle and tears roll down my cheeks as I look away and bow my head in shame. Hikaru made me face him again, his expression more serious than I had ever seen him before.
"Why?" he asked sternly, still forcing me too look at him.
"It's the only way I know how to feel….." I whispered in response. Hikaru's own eyes were filled with guilt and now tears as he pulled me to his chest.
"I'm so sorry Kao, I never meant to hurt you." He cried. All I could muster in response was to nod against his chest. I looked up into his eys, which were filled with unshed tears.
"I love you Kaoru." He whispered. He'd said the words only moments before but this time they sent shivers down my spine. Slowly he bent his neck and leaned down, pressing his lips to mine in gentle yet urgent kiss. To say the least, it was mind blowing. That kiss is what I'd wanted for so long, what I'd waited for for what seemed like forever. I leaned up, wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him back with all the feelings I'd held back for two years. Merely a minute had passed before our gentle kiss turned into a fiery one. Hikaru pushed me until I was laying on my back on the bed and continued to kiss me, but a little more fervently.
Hikaru moved his lips down his lips down to my neck, kissing, nipping, and licking at the flesh there. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out in pleasure and he noticed. I grabbed his face and pulled him back up to my lips and into another passionate kiss. When his tongue swept across my bottom lip, begging for entrance I gave it almost instantly and his tongue explored every inch of my mouth like it was uncharted territory that he was claiming as his. I had to bite my lip even harder when I felt his hips moving against mine, rubbing our caged erections together. His hands groped at the hem of my shirt and he pulled away to lift it off of me, his following shortly after and tossing the offending material, not caring where it landed. I ran my hands down his chest and stomach feeling toned muscles. We may have the same face but Hikaru's body is much more muscular than my own slightly feminine body.
Hikaru leaned back down, capturing one of my now hard nipples in his mouth. (A/N: Tee hee hee, nipples XD!) I, of course, went back to biting my lip. Hikaru stopped what he was doing and gave me a peck on the lips.
"Stop that, you'll hurt your lip." He said placing a hand on my cheek.
"But Hika….." I started but was interrupted by Hikaru running his thumb over my bottom lip and moving his mouth to my ear.
"Our parents are on a business trip (A/N: The benefits of being from a rich family XD), so I'm the only one who can hear you Kao." He whispered before grasping my hips and taking the hard nub back into his mouth. This time I didn't fight the moan that came up from my throat.
"Nnnngh!" Hikaru sucked on one of my nipples and pinched the other one between his fingers. After a moment he started trailing kisses down my stomach and my breath hitched in my throat when he reached the top of my pants. He looked back up into my eyes, asking for permission.
"Hika p-please…" I begged. He smirked and then unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, pulling them off and throwing them with the rest of our discarded clothes. He then proceeded to rub me through my boxers, and it was torture to have him teasing me like that so I bucked my hips in an effort to get more friction.
"A little impatient are we?" he chuckled and pulled off my boxers before wrapping his hand around my hardness.
"Mmmngh!" I moaned as he started to stroke me at a torturously slow pace. I bucked my hips and he understood what I wanted, stroking me faster. Suddenly his hand was gone; he stopped. Ugh why did he stop?
"H-hika why d-did…..Nnnngh oh god, Hika!" I nearly screamed as he suddenly deep-throated me. I buried my hands in his auburn hair as he started to bob his head and swirl his tongue, pumping the part he couldn't fit in his mouth.
"Oh g-god Hika! D-don't st-stop!" I shouted. I'd never felt such amazing pleasure before and it coming from Hikaru only made it that much better. Just this is driving me insane and he hasn't even entered me yet! It wasn't too long before I felt my climax coming.
"H-hika I'm… gonna c-cum." I whimpered, tugging at his hair, but he didn't budge. He bobbed his head and swirled his tongue one last time before it became too much.
"Hikaru!" I screamed as I released in his mouth. He swallowed it and discarded his pants and boxers before climbing back on top of me. He put three fingers to my lips and I, knowing what for, took them into my mouth, sucking and swirling my tongue around his fingers. Once he thought they were wet enough he took them out of my mouth, spread my legs a little more, and put them at my entrance.
"This might be a little uncomfortable, okay?" I nodded and he pushed the first digit into my tight heat. It was uncomfortable, not painful, just really weird. Then Hikaru started moving his finger in and out, in small thrusts. After a while the weirdness edged became pleasure and Hikaru added a second finger, then a third. I couldn't take it anymore, I needed him in me like I needed air.
"H-hika please….I n-need you n-now!" I moaned. Hikaru pulled his fingers out and positioned his throbbing need at my entrance.
"Are you sure you want this?" he asked kissing my neck sweetly. All I could do in response was nod.
"It's gonna hurt." he said now looking into my eyes.
"I know and I don't care." I whispered and he nodded. Hikaru wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed his lips to mine as he started to push in. At first it was just the head but even that was enough to make me howl in pain. Hikaru pushed in all the way to the hilt and hot tears ran down my cheeks as I clung to him for dear life, my arms wrapped tightly around his neck and my legs had a death grip on his waist.
"We can stop if you need to." He offered leaving small kisses on my neck and collarbone in an attempt to comfort me but I shook my head vigorously. He smiled and continued pressing kisses to my neck area. After a minute the pain started to edge away and turn into insane pleasure.
"Move Hika." he complied quickly, pulling out till just the tip or his member was inside me and then thrusting back in, in a slow rhythm. I brought his face down to mine, molding our lips together in a passionate kiss. The movements were slow and loving but I needed more..
"F-faster!" I whisper-yelled against his lips. Hikaru picked up the pace, thrusting faster and I screamed when he brushed hit my prostate.
"Ahhhh! F-fuck Hikaru, right th-there! Harder!" I screamed. He complied ramming into me harder and, if it's even possible, faster, hitting my prostate with each thrust.
"Augh Kaoru…" Hikaru grunted before pressing his lips to mine in a hungry kiss. I felt a coiling feeling in the pit of my stomach and I knew I was close. Hikaru must have been too because his thrusts were starting to become erratic. The sounds of my moaning and screaming and Hikaru's grunts filled the room.
"Nnngh mm! H-hika I'm s-so c-close…." I moaned
"M-me too Kao" he groaned in response. He thrust a couple more times before wrapping his hand around my hardness, stroking it in time to his thrusts. Not long after infelt my second climax of the night flooding through me.
"HIKARU!" I screamed as I came all over his hand and my stomach, my body going limp,my legs just barely hanging onto his waist. I tightened around Hikaru and he thrust one more deep, hard thrust into me before climaxing.
"KAORU!" He screamed as he released his seed deep within me. He collapsed on top of me panting. After he'd ridden out his orgasm and caught his breath he pulled out, wiped us off with one of the discarded shirts and pulled me against his chest.
"I love you Hikaru" I whispered looking up into his eyes.
"I love you too Kaoru" Hikaru smiled and took my lips in one last kiss. I don't know how long it was before I fell asleep against his chest, in his comforting arms. All I know is that I wished I could stay there forever.
