A/N: Wow! It's amazing to see over 100 followers on this story. This started out as just something I wanted to get out of my head, so its really incredible to see other people enjoying it as well. Thanks to all the readers, you keep me going.


Jane watched Maura walk away. What happened? What went wrong? She didn't know. One second she was comforting the broken doctor and the next she was getting the cold shoulder. She turned and walked over to her Ma who had been not so subtly watching the whole deal go down.

"Janie, maybe we should go somewhere else. Come on, we still have four more to look at." Angela spoke softly.

"I'm staying." Jane retorted. "This is it. I'm not going anywhere else."

The double meaning was not lost on the older woman, but she decided not to comment. She smiled up at Elizabeth who felt completely lost.

"Dear, can we have that tour now?"


Maura shut the door to her office and leaned against her desk for support. She shouldn't have done that. How could she just leave Jane there? Why did she always do this? She felt dizzy and flustered, it was too much. Jane was dying. Her Jane - no, not her's, she hadn't been her's in years, but the feelings were still there. There was something still alive between them, and she felt it.

When she heard that voice, she remembered what it felt like to be loved. She couldn't believe she had broken down and cried in front of her dying friend. If anyone needed comforting, it should have been Jane, not her, but the hurt just cut her to her core. There were so many things she wanted to know like where Jane had been all this time, where did she work, when did she find out, and so much more. God, she couldn't go back out there though, not after an exit like that.

"Think of her like any other patient. Focus." She told herself. She needed to just turn off her brain, so she turned her attention to choosing Jane's physician.

She decided to assign Dr. Olivia Harper as Jane's primary caregiver. She was a well-qualified, professional doctor in her mid 50s with extremely light blonde hair cut into a bob and very pale skin. She had worked with Maura at Johns Hopkins where the two became fairly close. She was caring but no nonsense, and Maura felt she would be able to handle Jane's stubborn nature. She also specialized in dealing with cancer diagnosis, which could only help.

This was not going to be easy. Anyway that she analyzed the situation, Maura could not foresee a favorable outcome. In the best case, the two ex-lovers would return to speaking terms and she could use her skills to help Jane in anyway necessary. In the worst case, Jane could refuse to see the medical director and die without another word shared between them. Either way, it seemed, Jane died and Maura was left with a heart full of regret.

She decided to give Jane a few days to settle in and get acquainted with the staff that would be caring for her, before attempting to see her again. Then maybe she would be able to think of something to say. There are no guides on "how to talk to your dying ex who you haven't see in twenty years", she already checked.


Two days after the unexpected reunion, Jane packed her apartment and gave away most of her belongings to her family and her friends. The rooms at the hospice were large, but they were already furnished. She thought it was going to be harder to see all her stuff moved out, but she had never really cared about material belongings.

She put some of her favorite clothes into a bag to take with her, though she figured she would be in hospital clothes most of the time, and she packed some keepsakes like her detective badge, old letters, and photos.

As she went looked through her albums, she suddenly gasped as she flipped the page. Maura was staring up at her, a huge smile on her face. She had forgotten about this picture. Jane had taken it at the first Red Sox game she and Maura went to together. The honey blonde had never gone to a ball game before, and all the excitement and wonder showed on her face and shined through the old photo.

As she flipped the page, she saw a candid shot of them together, sleeping on Jane's dorm room bed, face to face, limbs entwined. It had been taken by Jane's roommate without their knowledge, but the result was too beautiful to be angry at. They looked connected, as if they were sharing a dream and the sense of peace radiated around them.

Jane stared down at the photo, completely overtaken by the memories of that time. They had been so happy. She had known everything about that Maura in the photo and that Maura had known everything about her.

The Maura she saw two days ago couldn't even look at her, she walked away the same way she had all those years ago, without even a goodbye. As Jane's eyes started to fill with tears, her pup, Jo Friday, jumped up onto her lap. This was going to be the toughest part. The hospice didn't allow dogs.

She decided to give Jo to her Ma, who had always cared for her whenever Jane was out of town. It broke her heart to move the dog's bed and toys into the older woman's apartment, but she knew it was for the best. The little dog wagged her tail excitingly as Jane set up the bed in the living room and put her dog bowl in the kitchen.

Jo had no idea this was going to be the last time with her owner. She loved going on runs with her human, who would always take her to the best parks and let her play with all sorts of other dogs. The tall woman always let her sleep on the couch and eat little pieces of pizza and even some bacon in the mornings. Jo felt Jane lift her up, and she felt little drops fall on her scruffy head. She looked up at her owner's face and licked up the salty tracks, cheerfully.

Jane stared down at her mutt and whispered quietly, "Jo, I'm going to miss you. You were no police dog, but you were mine and that was enough. Be good for my ma, she can be loud but she loves harder than anyone I know. Bye, puppy."

She set the dog down and Jo scurried off to get some water. Jane walked to the door and looked back one last time as Jo turned around and cocked her head slightly. Jane smiled and walked out to her Ma, who was waiting in the car to drive to the hospice.

Elizabeth showed Jane to her room on the second floor. It was bigger than the bedroom in her apartment, and it had a nice en suite bathroom with a shower and a tub. The walls were a calm blue, there was a full size bed that was completely adjustable, a couch facing a wall mounted flat screen TV, dressers, a couple comfy chairs, and a large window facing the Charles River. It was very impressive and felt like a hotel room.

After Elizabeth finished pointing out all the features and controls like the nurse call button and how to adjust the bed, she told them that Jane's primary care team would be in soon and then left the mother and daughter alone. Jane placed her bags on the dresser and sat down on the couch. Angela sat beside her tentatively.

"I wouldn't mind living here. Its like a vacation, Janie" She tried to keep things light, unsure if that would backfire or not.

"Yeah, Ma. I just wish that I didn't know how this vacation was going to end." Jane stared down at her hands, fidgeting nervously.

"Honey, I'm here for you, and I'm sure you will have the best doctors looking out for you. You always used to tell me how smart Maura was. Whenever she used to come over for dinner, she was always spouting out facts and information. Did you know she owned this place?"

"No, did it look like I expected to see her here? Can we not talk about her right now? She is probably going to walk in soon, and it's hard enough seeing her again, I don't want to get into this with you. I'm sorry, I just don't."

At that moment several people entered the room. Maura was not one of them.

Jane fought to hide her disappointment as each person introduced themselves. There was Dr. Harper, her primary physician who would be in charge of keeping her cancer in check and making sure Dr. Isles's plan of care is followed; Diane Gillman, her nurse case manager who ensures all her pain is being managed and all her needs are met; Dr. Betty Cleason, her social worker who creates a psychosocial plan of care and provides emotional support and counseling for both Jane and her family; and Patrick Browning, her aide who would assist on the day to day basis with anything else.

It was a lot to take in, but they all looked nice and professional. She looked up at Dr. Harper, "Excuse me, Doctor, will the medical director be part of my team?"

"Yes, Dr. isles is a part of everyone's team but she usually does not assist in the actual care. She is more like the manager since she leads the staff on specific plans for each individual patient. She and Dr. Faulkner, her assistant, work extremely hard to ensure all those under their care receive highest level of care possible. It is strange that she is not here right now though, she almost always comes to meet new patients."

"Hmm, maybe since it is Monday she is busy." Jane knew that it was likely because of her, but she didn't think Maura would want her staff to know of their past relationship.

The four person team pulled up chairs next to the couch and sat facing Jane.

Dr. Harper led the discussion, "So, Jane. How are you feeling? I understand you have terminal stomach cancer. Are you experiencing any pain or discomfort?"

"I feel pretty good. I haven't been feeling very hungry over the past few days, and when I do eat, I feel full after barely eating anything. I get really bad heartburn as well, which has been really annoying. Sometimes I feel nauseous, but I've only thrown up a few times. I don't feel like I'm dying. I feel like I ate some bad meat."

The room filled with laughter. Betty spoke up, "I'm glad you still have your sense of humor, that is very important to maintain. You seem to be dealing with this well. Six months is not very long, what are your thoughts on that?"

Jane stared at the ground as she spoke, "Well, I think it just hadn't really hit me yet. I feel like I keep saying that, but I feel like I'm going to wake up tomorrow and you guys are just going to say "Gotchya!" and I'll go back to my life. Its not real for me, even moving here doesn't make it real. Maybe because this doesn't look like what I imagined a hospice would look like, or maybe my brain just doesn't want to believe it. When I really think about dying, I get angry and upset. I think, "Why me?" you know? I never did any drugs or drank too excessively. I exercised all the time and stayed healthy, well up until now at least. It just doesn't seem fair." She looked straight at the social worker, "Its not fair"

"You're right, its not. I am not going to say it will be okay, but the fact that you are open to talking about this is a great sign. It will make my job much easier and make it easier for me to help you come to terms with your disease."

Nurse Gillman stood, prompting the others to do the same. "It is a pleasure to meet you Jane, we are all here for you, so do not be afraid to ask for anything and don't hesitate to talk to us. We just want you to be comfortable and happy. We'll leave you now to set up your room however you wish, and we will be back tomorrow at different times to talk with you one on one."

At that, they filed out of the room. Jane sat on the couch and she heard a sniffle beside her. She completely forgot her mother was still sitting there since she had been silent for so long now.

"Ma? What's wrong?" It made her so uncomfortable seeing her usually talkative mother silently crying.

"I'm sorry. Seeing all these doctors here just made me feel…it's just that I'm your mom and I've always cared for you when you were sick, and now I can't. I feel useless, I can't just sit back and watch you wither away. I can't watch my baby die without a fight. You were always a fighter, Jane."

"I know. I still am, but there really is nothing I can do. Trust me, trust the doctors, there is nothing else to do. Maybe if they had caught it earlier, but there were no definitive signs and I always foolishly avoided the doctor at all costs. Trying to fight this might just make it worse and it will make me feel worse. And don't say there is nothing you can do. I need you to be here by my side, I need you just as much as all those professionals." Jane tried to sound more put together than she actually was.

Angela smiled through the tears, "Oh Jane, what will I do without you?" She hugged her daughter tightly and they stayed locked together in peaceful silence.


Over the rest of the week, Jane met with each of her team members and discussed her treatment options and care plan. She really liked Patrick who came and checked on her everyday. Sometimes they would watch part of the Patriots game together or just talk about sports, or movies, or anything that came to mind. He was more like a friend than a staff member, and that made Jane feel more comfortable around him.

She was on some light pain medications to help control some of her symptoms, so Nurse Gillman would come in every morning to deliver them, check her vitals, and see if she needed anything else. Diane was in her late 40s, caramel brown hair, a cheery demeanor, and only 5 feet tall. Jane towered over her, but the small woman still commanded respect.

Dr. Harper talked to Jane about a targeted therapy that would probably keep her feeling healthier longer. The drug is called Ramucirumab, or Ram for short. It has far less side effects than chemotherapy since it specifically targets the cancer cells, and it will help control her symptoms. Jane approved and they decided to start that the next week, on Monday, so three days from now.

Dr. Cleason would be meeting with Jane once a week or more if needed to discuss her mental health. Jane was not thrilled about this, but Betty (as she insisted being called) was extremely sweet. She had been in this profession for over 30 years and knew how to handle all types of patients. She had a way about her that was reassuring and non-judgemental. Jane still felt separate from her diagnosis, like it wasn't really happening to her, but Betty said that was normal, especially for patients Jane's age.

They wrapped up the hour long session talking about Jane's fears.

"You know, I've been avoiding thinking about that. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid to die, but I'm more scared of the effect it will have on my family. The only people we have lost are our grandparents, and we weren't that close with them but everyone was mourning for weeks. I saw the sadness in my parent's eyes, and I can only imagine what it will be like losing a child. I want them to keep on living and not die with me." Jane let her head fall into her hands. She wasn't crying but she just felt so much pain.

"Jane, you have a lot of empathy, which is great but it also can be a burden to carry the weight of other people's emotions. I am also here to provide support for your family and the hospice offers bereavement counseling for up to a year after your passing. They will be taken care of, I assure you. Is there any other fears that you have for yourself?"

Jane's mind immediately went to Maura, but apparently their relationship was nonexistent since the doctor couldn't even bother to visit in the week she had been here. She wasn't ready to talk about that, and she wasn't even sure how to approach that with Betty.

"I guess I'm just scared of how I will feel as time goes by. I watched my aunt go through chemo and survive, but she looked like hell and said she felt even worse. I'm not going to survive this, so how can I expect to feel?"

Dr. Cleason set down the notebook she was writing in, "It is the job of your team to make sure you never feel uncomfortable. We don't want you to experience any pain. This is a two way street though, and you are a part of this team, so we look to you to communicate any discomfort or concerns with us, don't hold back. Okay?"

It was like she was reading her mind or something, but talking about Maura could take hours and hours and she did not want to cross that bridge at this moment. Next time though.

"Okay, I will" Jane nodded and the session was over.

The weekend flew by. Jane's brothers came by and they watched the ball game together. Ma came and they read books together. Frost and Korsak checked in and chatted for hours with her. She was free to roam the building as long as she let Patrick know where she was going, so she checked out the recreation room, the pool, the movie room, and outdoor garden.

She ate most of her meals in the cafeteria, which had amazing food, but there weren't many people to socialize with since most were bound to their rooms. She was also probably the youngest patient by a good 30 years, so she got to know a lot of the staff and the volunteers. She also spent a good amount of time in the hospice library, which was stocked with a huge selection of books, magazines, and music. It really wasn't so bad here, but she still had yet to catch even a glimpse of the medical director, who must be avoiding her.

On Monday morning, Jane heard someone open the door, enter the room, and shut the door again, but it felt far too early for Nurse Gillman's visit. She pretended to sleep as the figure moved closer to the bed, but she caught the whiff of the unmistakable perfume that could only belong to one Dr. Isles.

Jane opened her eyes quickly, "What do you want?"

Maura was taken aback, she thought Jane would still be sleeping. She hadn't planned out what to say, she just wanted to see her again. Once again, she was at a loss for words.

"I don't want you here." Jane looked at her with such disdain, but she was just trying to cover the hurt that she felt at being abandoned. She had promised herself that she wasn't going to let that happen again, but it did.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to check in on you to see if you're alright." Maura voice shook slightly. Jane just threw her so off balance.

"No, you lost that right when you walked away. Why do you always run from me? I know you must feel it otherwise you wouldn't have broken down like that. You can't just run from a feeling like that!" Jane was boiling.

"I have for this long!" Maura didn't know where that came from but there it was.

"And look where it's gotten you. I don't see a ring on that finger, and you wouldn't have come running at the sound of my voice if you were with someone. You are alone." Jane wanted to stop, she saw how much this was hurting the doctor, but all those nights that she cursed Maura's existence were fueling the fire.

"Stop! Stop it!" Maura wasn't yelling but she raised her voice for the first time in...she couldn't even remember how long.

"No, fuck you. You don't get to tell me to stop, I have waited for so long for this and you are not running away now."

Maura started to turn.

"Don't you dare walk away from this!" Jane snapped

"God, what do you want from me?" Maura faced her ex.

Jane stood from the bed and stood less than a foot in front of the smaller woman, "Admit that you feel it, that you feel something for me."

The doctor stared at the dark brown eyes piercing her own, "Yes! I feel something. There, are you happy?"

Jane scoffed. She hated that tone, it made her feel so alone, "Am I happy? Really? I'm fucking dying, Maura!"

The honey blonde turned away and walked a few steps, trying to hide her tears, "That's not what I meant. Its just...we can't keep doing this. I can't let you do this to me every time I see you."

Jane rolled her eyes, staring at the doctor's back, "Well, sorry that my presence makes you human. You avoided me for a whole week, I only have maybe 25 weeks of life left, and you wasted one. Sorry that you can't deal with your own emotions long enough to even have a conversation with me. I wish I had never met you. This is all your fault."

The words hung in the air before hitting the doctor swiftly in the chest.

"What?!" Maura spun around in a fury, "I didn't give you cancer Jane, I didn't make you avoid the doctor who could have caught it early, that's on you not me!"

She instantly regretted the words as they fell from her lips. She watched Jane retreat back to the bed and sit on the edge, staring blankly out the window. She didn't talk for a while. The silence was stifling.

"I shouldn't have said that. I wasn't thinking...I was…" Maura tentatively approached Jane.

The doctor was crying but she stared straight into the heart of the brunette and finally let her emotions speak, "You were the best friend I ever had, honestly the only real friend I ever had. I don't regret a second of time we had together. You showed me that love existed, but I ran because I felt like I couldn't give you the same amount of love that you gave me. I didn't think I was capable and all my relationships since then have proved that, but when I heard your voice, it was like something came alive again. I think that I'm still in love with you Jane."

The brunette took Maura's hand in hers and pulled her down so they were sitting side by side

"I've always been in love you, Maur. Even when I hated you, I loved you. There was never a time when we were together that I didn't feel completely loved by you, except the day that you left. I just wish you would have told me. Why did you avoid me this whole week?"

"I thought that maybe if I stayed away, this would be easier. I can't just watch you die, but I can't keep fighting this. I want to be with you, for whatever time you have left. I want to be here for you, I'm going to be here for you."

Maura pressed her lips to Jane's cheek and tasted the salt from her tears, but she didn't care. It felt like the crushing pressure had finally been lifted from her chest, and she could breathe again.

Jane smiled and brought the doctor into a hug.

"I love you." She whispered into the honey blonde curls.

"I love you, too"