Disclaimer: See last chapters.

Dancing with the Devil

Chapter Three

She had been happy, once upon a time. She had been able to laugh and smile, and sing and dance but everything, everything just got too much. She was finally free in New York, free to make her own mistakes and free to berate herself for them instead of relying on some messed up, perfectionist views of the men who had brought her up to believe she had to do everything just right. When she was growing up, she had to tell herself to work harder than she ever had before, to carry on working so she could be the best, so she could be better and when she got to New York, she could have focused on that. Instead, she found herself quickly turning her entire life around, making changes she never thought she would.

Her legs wrapped around the pole, as she bent her back down, smirking at the regular customer she saw when she did, before she lifted herself back up. Her toned legs moving up and down the pole, seducing those around her – it was very much like the tango, she thought to herself. She had to seduce the audience; she had to believe she was sexy and use her body in that way. She was good at the tango, she knew that as well as her dance teacher did, and it only made her even sexier when she turned back to her night job. The drugs were a bonus, getting drunk was an even bigger bonus, the sex was something she could live without but something that got her through some nights.

She wanted Finn though. She still wanted him, seeing him made her want him even more. Seeing him made her want to run back into his arms and sob, and tell him everything that she felt, and what had happened and begging him never to leave her again. She resisted that though, it was something the old Rachel would have done, something she could never do because she didn't want to let herself in for the heartbreak. She was too exhausted to deal with picking up the pieces of her shattered heart all over again.

But, once, she had been happy and everyone was so sure she could get that back. She had believed it to be true, a long time ago and now, all she saw was faces of the people who never knew what her life was truly like. People who assumed she had to have it all perfect because she was good at acting – could she put that on her experience track list? She managed to pretend for years and years that she was okay, that she wasn't unhappy at home, that her dads were amazing. She managed to do all that, and no one ever saw past it. Not Kurt, not Finn, not Mr Schue. No one could see the little girl begging for them to help her, and the thought only made her angry.

She had wanted to scream for help; the moment she knew it was wrong. Both her dads had been perfectionists, they had wanted the perfect little girl who could sing, and dance and act. They had chosen Shelby specifically for this reason; a talented mother must make for a talented daughter, after all. But, when she got things wrong, it only added to the punishment – why couldn't she be more like Shelby? Perfect, amazing Shelby who had failed her as a mother, but had succeeded in her own musical career. She had never been huge on Broadway, she had never released a CD, but she had been happy, and no one could deny her talent. New York was competitive, Rachel would be lucky if she even got one show on Broadway. At this rate, she'd be lucky if she even made it to graduation.

~ .. ~

Finn kept his head in his hands, as he tried to calm himself down, already failing as he took deep breaths and close his eyes that little bit tighter, in a bid to stop the impending tears falling down his face. He was still in shock, at everything she had become – beautiful, amazing Rachel Berry who had lost her virginity to him, who had given him that amazing… gift, he supposed, and now, she so easily gave it away to the first guy who looked at her. He couldn't believe this had happened; when he left, he had done it for her own good, he thought it would make her better. Instead, he had become one other person who abandoned her, one more person to have let her down, and one more person to have made her cry. He hated himself for it.

She was a star, in every sense of the word, she deserved to shine brightly and he had helped in taking that away from her. He just ran his hands through his short hair before he finally stood up and made his way to her room, where she had stumbled in just an hour before. He was nervous, more so than he had been in a long time before he knocked the door, pushing it open without a warning, mostly because he knew she would tell him to go away. The sight of her on the bed broke his heart, as he slowly walked over to her, just taking a deep breath before he found his fingers running through her hair, "I'm not leaving." He finally announced, watching her eyes flicker open as she bit down on her lip, her eyes displaying her confusion as she shook her head and opened her mouth to speak, but Finn just shook his head and took a deep breath before he moved to lay down next to her. "I'm not leaving you, not ever." His arm wrapped around her tiny body, holding her close enough so she couldn't pull away from him and run out of her own apartment, just to get as far away from her ex-boyfriend as she possibly could.

His words had an air of confidence that he had been lacking for so long, as he looked at her, his eyes meeting with hers before he kissed her forehead and held her that little bit closer. "I love you." He mumbled, the smallest of smiles on his face before he rubbed her arm. Rachel's head moved to rest on his chest, and although the words were not repeated back to him, he couldn't help but grin. It was something, it was an improvement for both of them, at least. He wasn't going to turn around the next day and tell her she couldn't go to the bar, she couldn't do what she had been doing since she got into New York, but he would help her. He would be there for her, he would have to be; he loved her, and that was all that mattered.