Chapter 4
Renesmee's eyes immediately searched for Jacob when she rejoined the party. They found him by the grand piano surrounded by a group of girls from her school. The girls fawned over him. Their hands were all over him. He had the good grace to seem embarrassed, although Renesmee knew that part of him had to be basking in his masculinity; heaven knew that Jacob could be insufferably over-confident. She stood at the periphery of the living room until his eyes found her. Again, he smiled wide, flashing his bright white teeth. Without a second thought, he walked away from the girls, making straight for her. As he reached her, he caught her up in his arms:
"He's with Renesmee? Unbelievable!"
"Totally believable. Is there any guy who isn't obsessed with her?"
"I know, he's like the hottest guy here..."
The discontented voices of some of the girls reached Renesmee's ears. She winced at the sound of envy in their voices; she didn't want that kind of attention from anyone. In truth she had few friends beyond Jacob, his pack and her own family; she had shied away from that once she had discovered the pettiness of teenage girls: she had been at the mercy of green teenage girls ever since she had entered high school, girls whose jealousy flared the moment that the object of their affection redirected their attention, more than often in her direction once a hormonal teenage boy caught sight of her. It was a strange feeling, to have people drawn to you, without trying, to have people love you and yet envy you simultaneously. She hid her face in Jacob's chest and pressed her hand to his arm. She communicated her desire to escape from the whispers of the girls. Immediately, he pulled her from the room and to the foot of the stairs that led to the first floor. He tugged on her hand and she let him lead her up to the dimly lit landing. A large family portrait sat on an antique table they passed - a childlike Renesmee stared out, held by her parents at the centre, flanked by Carlisle and Esme; Rosalie and Emmett on their left, Alice and Jasper on their right. Towering over them all at the back stood the wolves, with the exception of one; loath to be away from her, Jacob, down on one knee, had placed himself at the centre of the photograph beneath Renesmee. Bella's hand rested on his shoulder and Renesmee's fingers reached down to tangle in his black hair. The faces in the photograph did not smile; they looked out with a hope and weariness borne of a near escape from catastrophe. Jacob and Renesmee took little notice of the photograph as they made their way past closed doors to the end of the hall and Renesmee's room. When they reached her door, he stopped and looked down at her frowning,
"Jake c'mon. I can control myself and you've been in my room before."
"Not like this..."
"It's ok."
She opened the door and pulled him inside shutting it behind them. The moon sliced through the picture window that ran the length of the back wall of the room. It bathed them in iridescent light as he looked down at her, reaching out he ran his fingers through her long bronze hair and sighed,
"I wondered how long it would be before we were alone again," he said. "I waited by the door when you spoke to your Dad...just in case. I heard what he said about me; about us."
Renesmee looked down ashamed, "Jake, I'm sorry..."
"No it's ok," he forced a smile, "I mean I know I'm going to prove him wrong Ness and I'll make you so happy. Besides," he smiled arrogantly, "I know you love me."
Renesmee rolled her eyes and pushed him lightly, making not even the slightest impact on his balance. Her actions were playful, but his expression suddenly turned serious, he took hold of her arms, jolting her out of her playfulness and causing her to look up at the serious expression on his face. He seemed to be considering how to articulate something. He took a breath and began:
"You meant what you said to him – your Dad. You do love me, right?"
His tone betrayed his insecurity, despite his best efforts to hide it. She smiled up at him and nodded.
"Yes, always and then some more. Will you kiss me now?"
He smiled wide, lifting her in his arms again. Their lips met in a kiss so full of fervour that Jacob stumbled backwards. His tongue traced her bottom lip, probing for an entrance in to her mouth. Renesmee sighed loudly, completely giving over to the intensity of the feelings that coursed through her body, allowing him in. Forgetting herself, she wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands wandered into his black hair, winding the strands around her fingers. Her body thrummed insistently, desperate for more than he was giving her, she pressed her lips harder against his. Her movement caused him to stagger backwards. When his legs hit the edge of her bed, he stopped abruptly, pulling away from her mouth, breathing heavily.
"Ness, we have to calm down or we'll end up doing something that we'll regret," he said, trying for an even, rational tone and failing miserably.
"I don't want to calm down," she whispered, trying to press her lips back onto his.
He held her away.
"We have to, your Dad is already about to rip me a new one, your friends are downstairs, your family...and to be honest, I don't think Quil, Seth or Embry are gonna love me a whole lot if this is all I can think about on the way back to La Push."
That sobered her up, she signalled at him to release her. He acquiesced. She smoothed her hands down the increasingly rumpled gold sheath dress and moved to the end of her bed. She sat down on it and Jacob joined her, sitting as close as he could without sitting on her. He placed his warm hand on her left knee, his thumb began making idle patterns on her bare skin almost immediately. They were quiet for a long time. Renesmee was the one to break the silence, "When you go back to La Push...this is a flying visit then? You aren't staying?"
"Ness..."
"I haven't seen you in months...I thought that the whole deal with this imprinting thing was that you couldn't stand to be apart from me -"
"I can't!" he cut in, "I can't stand being away from you Ness – but you live in Alaska and I still have to go to college."
She was trying to keep the desperate shrillness out of her voice, but she knew it wasn't working, "But you only just got here!"
"I know," he said regretfully, "Don't you think I'd stay if I could...and if I didn't think your Dad would make a new rug out of me?"
"Don't go," her voice trembled.
"Ness...please..."
"I'll die if you go. I swear it!"
"It kills me too...I feel like I'm being ripped apart when I can't hear you, see you...or touch you."
"I mean it Jake – I'll die. Please don't leave me here," she insisted, turning to him.
The pain in her eyes was tangible. He reached up and stroked her hair, pursing his lips.
"Your family is here."
"Yes and I love them, like you can't believe; but I need you."
"Ness..."
"You'll go and then you won't call like before."
"I will."
"You stopped. Out of nowhere!"
"I was on my way here..." he whispered, staring deep into her eyes.
"For two weeks?"
"No – but I had to go somewhere else first. I had to get your birthday present. Jeez Ness, I stopped aging so that I could wait until you were ready for us...doesn't that show you what you mean to me? I would never stop calling for some dumb reason like college...I didn't call because I went to get you something."
As he spoke, he reached in to his pocket to retrieve something; it caught the light of the moon as he removed it, sparking in the darkness of the room. Then he opened his hand and held the shiny thing in the centre of his large hand, he held it towards her hopefully: it was a ring. Correction: it was a beautiful ring, elegant in its simplicity. It was a thin band of silver with a raised area at the centre, on either side was an intricately carved leaf and at the centre was a sapphire of such intense blue that it took her breath away.
"Jake..." she whispered awed.
"I had to travel to find the stone"
"Why?"
"Because I had to find a stone that would do you justice," he answered honestly.
"Jake...thank you so much, it's so beautiful"
"It's a promise ring, I guess... I wanted to give you something so that when we aren't together, you can look at it and remember that I love you, that we will be together; that I'm always thinking of you."
She held up her left hand to let him put the ring onto her wedding finger, he slid it on reverently, his eyes fixed on hers the entire time. It fit perfectly.
Renesmee looked down on it with soft brown eyes; it contrasted so completely with the peaches and cream of her own complexion. At that moment, there were no words to communicate the depth of her emotions. So, instead, she took one of his hands, placed it on her left cheek and turned her face towards his hand, nuzzling it softly, breathing him in. Then she reached out and trailed her fingers down the side of his face, until they reached his full lips. She traced them delicately, her fingers stilled over them for a few seconds. Her face was a mixture of determination and adoration. She took a deep breath, shifted on the bed until she had placed her knees at either side of his thighs, her hands pressed against his solid chest. He allowed her to push him down on to his back; his eyes glued to hers the entire time. Her hands slid up to his shoulders, swept the sides of his neck until they came to rest on either side of his face, she bent over him, her bronze hair creating a luxurious curtain that hid them from view. She placed her trembling lips to his. The second she did, his hands gripped her waist, holding her in place while the kiss deepened. Her heart galloped at the intimate contact and she felt his respond in kind. His fingers traced the curve of her waist, up and down.
She silently wished that he would do more, but she knew, deep down, that he wouldn't cross the line she was so desperate for him to cross. Proving her suspicions, he allowed his fingers to linger where they were, drawing patterns as he explored her mouth. The sharp rap at the door startled them both, Renesmee shot off the bed so quickly that she landed half way across the room, crouched low as if to attack. She bristled visibly. Jacob was beside her in a second, desperately pressing his lips together to keep from laughing. She caught his eye and her own face altered to reflect the same sentiment as she stood to her full height, but she recovered for long enough to answer the person at the door, "Yes?"
"Ness – it's me."
Her mother. She heard Jacob curse quietly under his breath.
"Can I come in?" Bella called.
"Yes."
A moment later, Bella entered the room, obviously on edge and aware of what they had been doing. The strange look was in her eyes again, Renesmee noted. Jacob took a step closer to her, placing his body slightly ahead of hers, his hand rested on the small of her back.
"Hey Mom..."
"Ness – I came up here to warn you that your father is on the war path...he knows what's been going on up here."
"Nothing's been going on..."
"Don't lie to me Renesmee."
"We kissed...it's hardly the crime of the century," Renesmee snapped uncharacteristically.
Her mother's expression clearly revealed that she was shocked at her tone. She took a deep unnecessary breath and then continued, "Nevertheless..." she turned to Jacob, "You know how he feels Jake. Besides, it isn't exactly polite to come to somebody's house and completely disregard their rules."
Jacob rolled his eyes, "Right – 'cause you and Edward were always so respectful of Charlie's rules," he said sourly.
Bella tried to hide the expression of mortification that clouded her face, but neither Renesmee nor Jacob missed it.
"Jake wanted to give me his present in private and I...I wanted to be alone with him," Renesmee said, lifting her chin.
Bella's eyes flashed to the hand that Renesmee used to pull her fingers through her hair. They zeroed in on the sapphire ring on her wedding finger and her mouth dropped in amazement, "Is that a..."
"It's a promise ring," Jacob said before she could jump to another conclusion.
"Ness, your father..."
"I'm not going to hide it Mom. Gosh, can't you two see how hypocritical you're being? You and Dad didn't exactly let anyone stop you from doing what you wanted...no matter who it affected."
Bella's eyes flashed to Jacob's. He said nothing, his expression unflinchingly unreadable.
"It isn't the same..."
"Why?" Renesmee challenged, "Would it be better if I was with a vampire?"
"That isn't what I'm saying Ness and you know it."
"Then what are you saying?" Jacob suddenly said. His voice simultaneously held a challenge and an accusation.
"I'm saying that you are hurting your father. Emmett had to hold him back – he was going to come up here himself. And you've left all of your guests downstairs..."
Renesmee decided that now was not the time to remind her mother that she had never wanted the party in the first place.
"You're right about the guests, I'll go back down." She turned to Jacob, "Coming?"
He smiled down at her, "Yeah, I'll follow you down. Let me talk to your Mom a sec, ok?"
Renesmee nodded and walked towards the door, past her mother and headed to the stairs. Her acute hearing detected that they did not speak immediately, but as she descended the stairs, she heard Jacob say in a voice she didn't recognise,
"You and your husband are unbelievable...I can't believe that after all you two put me through that you want to take this from me too."
"She's our child."
"She's my mate."
"You shouldn't have imprinted on her..."
"Like I had a choice Bella! Ness is mine. We're meant to be and no amount of bull crap you and Edward throw is gonna change that...you know what you'll have to do to stop me! Are you really willing to do that to me; to her?"
"Of course not!"
"You know what Bella? I can at least understand his angle; but you? Same old Bella, you have everything you ever wanted but part of you still wants to have your cake and eat it too!"
Renesmee frowned at that statement. What did Jacob mean? As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she heard his footsteps in pursuit of her; she turned on the bottom step to watch him descend and was shocked again to find that his face was thunderous with anger; but the moment he caught sight of her, his expression melted again to one of pure joy. He took her hand as he reached the bottom of the stairs and led her back in to the party without saying a word. They rejoined the other teenagers and he pulled her to the centre of the wooden floor that Alice had transformed in to a dance floor. Staring down at her, he pulled her in to his arms so that they could sway to Iris. She placed her hands on his chest, her breath catching in her throat as she fingered the ripples and hard defined planes of his chest and abdominal muscles; a fresh surge of desire pulsed through her body. His own arms were hooked beneath her own; they reached up so that his fingers splayed across the creamy expanse of her back where the sheath dress exposed it. She placed her forehead against his chest and breathed him in and a thought crossed her mind: if it t'were now to die, t'were now to be most happy. She smiled at her own sentimentality and hoped that the moment would never end. She would never be happier in her life than she was in Jacob's arms. The truth of this statement made the fact that he would soon leave and return to La Push even more of a bitter pill to swallow. But she had to enjoy the moment, she was determined; she had to so that she had happy memories to hold on to until they were together again.
Nevertheless, at the back of her mind, Jacob's words to her mother, their tone and his anger weighed heavily. She wanted to know what he had meant about her mother wanting to have her cake and eat it too – but she couldn't ask him and she certainly couldn't ask her mother. His ire and his words had suggested that there was more that she wasn't aware of, something beyond her parents' feelings about Jacob and herself. Still, there would be plenty of time for questions later, she dismissed the idea and melted back into the joy of being in his arms.
