Ana ran into the dressing room, a name the band gave every room they were given to warm up in, even if it was just an office as this one was. It sounded more professional. A cheap, garage band was given a manager's office, a storeroom, once even a spare guest bedroom. Bands that were going places, as Gloria and the Mountain undoubtedly were, only used dressing rooms.
Stefan and the band's drummer Rosco followed her in. Rosco looked concerned. He had assumed the role of 'father' to the band long ago and was constantly worried – that Jake was lonely, that Ana was too thin, that Stefan wasn't coping. He has his own family, a wife and two young children, but he spent most of his time on the road with the band these days. They were his family too, and he hated to see them hurt. 'Are you okay?' he asked Ana softly, leaning against the wall. She looked at him with what he thought were tears in her eyes, but she didn't respond.
Unlike Rosco, Stefan was outraged.
'What the hell was that about, Ana?' he yelled. 'We were amazing out there, the crowd loved us. Now when they think about tonight all they'll remember is how you ended it. We weren't even half way through our set!' Stefan was a professional, just like he wanted his band to be.
'Guys,' Ana breathed, 'I'm really sorry but we have got to get out of here.'
She began to tear around the dressing room picking up random pieces of equipment – a tambourine, a microphone stand, some masking tape. She looked ridiculous, her tiny body struggling under the weight. 'Where the hell is Alex?' she cried, looking manically around the small room, as if their manager was hiding underneath the desk or perhaps behind the curtains. 'He was supposed to be here half an hour ago. "Don't worry Ana," he says. "I'll be back to see you guys play". Bullshit! The one time he could probably be useful and he fucking blows it. How are we supposed to get out of here if he doesn't show up? Someone has to call him. Move it, Jacob!'
Jake, who had just entered the dressing room, did a pirouette as Ana barrelled past him and out into the hallway, dropping her purse as she ran. He looked at Rosco and cocked his head. At any other time Rosco would have laughed at the look on Jake's face, but he knew better than to make jokes when Ana was in one of her moods. Better to keep your head down and do as she says, he thought as he quietly packed away his own equipment.
'What,' Jake asked, 'was that about?'
'Dunno,' Rosco replied. 'Something happened to her out there. She wants to leave, now.'
'What?' Jacob looked confused. 'We haven't even been paid yet! Plus, I kind of wanted to hang around tonight, have a beer maybe. I got talking to one of those American girls, the ones that gave us directions. She said they might have a drink with us after the show.'
Rosco felt sorry for Jake. He was such a nice kid. He was very witty and for the most part very confident. Everyone who met him loved him almost instantly, this cocky kid with a ready smile. But he was such a dreamer, and that sometimes got him into trouble. Rosco tried to look out for him; when they were in Sydney, Jake would have dinner with his family at least twice a week. His wife, Roxy, always said she was worried it would simply slip Jake's mind that he needed to eat. No one really knew where Jake came from, or where he went at night after band rehearsal, or dinner at Rosco's, or drinks at a local bar. Lately he had taken to staying over at the house Stefan, Alex and Ana shared so Rosco didn't suppose it mattered very much. He didn't like to pry.
It was obvious that Jake liked that girl, the one with the killer body. Rosco had thought she was gorgeous but felt intimidated by her. He was always intimidated by beautiful women, he knew when they were out of his league. Jake, on the other hand, had no such insight. He'd had a dreamy look on his face the entire night, and Rosco knew it had begun. Jake was always falling in love, and inevitably his heart was always breaking. He would bowl girls over with his good looks and easy charm, but he was a sweet kid and for many this meant he could be treated like a doormat. It would have been nice to see things work out for him just once.
'Sorry mate.' Rosco winked at his friend. 'You know what she's like.'
'Oh, I know what she's like.' Jake's face had clouded over, but he stomped around the room packing up the remaining equipment nonetheless.
Ana raced back into the room. 'Put your stuff by the back door,' she said breathlessly. 'When Alex gets here we can just load it into the van and go.' She stopped still. 'Where the hell is he? Where's my phone? Dammit, where's my purse?' She spun around, surveying the room. Stefan, who was the only member of the band not doing as he was told, held her purse up.
'You dropped it,' he said smugly, handing it over. 'What's going on, Ana? We haven't been paid yet. God knows I need a drink. We're not going anywhere.'
She faced him, her eyes penetrating his, angry. Although Stefan was tall, in her heels she reached to just above his shoulders. He really was a beautiful man. Sometimes she would forget and then at moments like these it would hit her like a steam train, his beauty and his anger and his vulnerability. Her eyes softened. She hated when he told her what to do, but she knew how to handle men. She knew how to make them listen.
'Come on, Stef,' she said, moving towards him. 'Do this for me, just this once.' Her voice was low and she reached her hand around to the small of his back, pressing herself up close. She whispered something in his ear but he pushed her away, a look of disgust on his face.
'Ana, that's not going to work. Unless you tell us why we need to leave so urgently, we're staying.' He crossed his arms childishly and she glared at him. She hated everything about Stefan – the way he thought he knew what was best for her, the patronising way he spoke to her, the way girls threw themselves at him every night on tour. Most of all she hated how he was able to resist her, because despite everything he did and said to make her hate him, she wanted him more than anything else in the world. He was beautiful and complicated and full of this amazing passion for music and the band and for life in general. She wished their relationship as pure and uncomplicated as his relationship to his music - simple, bright and full of promise.
She decided to change her tactics. Even if Stefan had a heart of stone, she knew she could wrap Rosco and Jacob around her little finger.
'Guys, please,' she said, looking both of them in the eye. 'I know you want to stay. Under any other circumstances I would too. But I'm not feeling great. I think it was maybe something I ate. All I want to do is go to the hotel and sleep. You understand that, don't you?' She coughed, although she wasn't sure how that proved she had food poisoning. It seemed to work. Jacob gave her a reassuring smile and Rosco said, 'if the lady's sick…' and looked at Stefan.
'I don't believe it!' Stefan cried. 'You don't really believe she's sick, do you? She's eaten the same food as us for the last month. She's been fine all day. Something happened out there that she doesn't want anyone to know about. What's the matter, Ana? Who's waiting for you out there? Ex-boyfriend? Drug dealer?' He was mocking her, and she hated him more.
'Shut up, you bastard,' she hissed. 'I'm going to call Alex, he's going to pick us up, we're going to the hotel.' She searched around in her purse for her phone but just as she found it, the door to the dressing room opened and Alex walked in.
'Gloria!' he cried, flashing his toothy smile. 'How was it?' He wrapped an arm around Ana's shoulders possessively and glanced around the room. He liked to call himself their manager, and took more than a manager's cut out of the money they received for every show, but in reality it was Stefan and Jake who did most of the work. They booked the shows, posted advertising bills around the city and organised band rehearsals. Alex occasionally found them gigs, mostly by accident, at pubs he got drunk in. Jake thought he was sleazy, Rosco didn't trust him and Stefan couldn't stand him. They only kept him around for Ana's sake. What she saw in him, no one knew.
'Where were you?' Ana asked him.
He kissed her on the head. 'I was just going to take the van to get some petrol, right? So I did and I thought I was on the right road back but I ended up about 10ks north. It was only because I got out to have a drink and got talking to a guy that I realised I was lost.'
Ana didn't believe him. The night before they had stayed at a motel in a town where they had played a gig; it was about 40ks from Baronga. She had seen him in the crowd, flirting with a girl who could have been eighteen at most. She saw him hand her his number, saw him winking and her giggling. He had only been gone for half an hour, but he had been with her, of that there was no doubt. He was confident, loud, overly affectionate. He was atoning for what he had done.
'What about our pay?' Stefan asked. He rarely talked to Alex, unless it was about band matters. He didn't even like to be in the same room as him, if he could help it.
'Got it right here,' he said, patting his jeans pocket. 'Safe and sound.'
'See?'Ana cried. 'Now we can go!'
'Go?' Alex said, pulling her closer. 'I just got here! Party's just getting started!'
'Ana is desperate to leave,' Stefan said. 'She won't tell us why.'
'Please.' She was not above begging. 'Don't start that again. Isn't it enough that I want to go? I thought you guys were my friends. Friends don't always need to know why.'
'Look,' Rosco said, always the diplomat. 'If you don't feel well, how about you stay here, or go and have a sleep in the van? We'll have a drink and we can all leave in an hour or so.'
Ana didn't want to hang around longer than she had to, but she didn't want to tell her friends the real reason she wanted to leave either. They knew nothing of her past – nothing that was true, anyway. So she caved in, and agreed to go and sit in the van. She would lock the doors.
Once she was alone in the darkness of the van, Ana began to cry. She had thought she was safe here. She had made a new life for herself, with good friends and a career that might be taking off. It was a life that she loved, and she was terrified it was going to be taken away from her.
She didn't know where they had come from, what they were even doing in Australia. How did they know where to find her? It had been over two years since she had seen them last, and more than three since they had been in the same room together. It had been eerie, seeing them standing in the crowd like that. Mary Anne had looked like she was about to cry. Kristy looked stunned, she was probably thinking about what she could write about the night in the Baby Sitters Club Mystery Notebook: "Dear Diary, we thought Stacey was dead but today we found her." It was Claudia's face that had scared her the most. It was blank, devoid of emotion, as though she couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry or scream and instead settled on nothing.
She sat huddled in the van, a blanket pulled tightly around her shoulders. She was shivering, but not because she felt cold. She loved her new friends like she had once loved her old friends, and she couldn't bear the thought of losing them too. But what else could they do but leave if they knew who she had once been, the things she had done?
After an hour spent alone in the darkness, there was a knock on the van's window. 'Hey!' she heard Rosco cry. 'Open up!' Ana breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, she thought. She climbed out of her makeshift bed and went to unlock the door. She pushed it open and Rosco climbed in, followed by Alex. They were laughing and looked happy. Lucky them, Stacey thought to herself.
'Did you have a good time?' she asked. 'Where are Stef and Jacob?'
'They're coming,' Rosco answered. 'We're giving some friends a lift back to the hostel.'
'Friends?' Ana was confused. They didn't know anyone in Baronga.
'Some people we met tonight,' Rosco explained. 'Don't worry, we're just giving them a ride. Once we've dropped them off we're going straight to the hotel.'
Ana smiled sleepily. She wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and forget this night ever happened. Tomorrow they would leave and she could look forward to the future. They would have to change the name of the band, of course, she didn't want anyone being able to trace her. But that was a minor detail, one she was sure she could convince the others to agree on.
Alex pulled her onto the couch next to him and moved to kiss her. She kissed him halfheartedly, then curled up under his arm. He groaned and she knew that had frustrated him, but she wasn't in the mood. She closed her eyes and began to nap.
She had only been asleep for a few minutes when she heard voices outside of the van. Disoriented, she looked around. Alex was asleep next to her, and Rosco was on the floor, a map spread out in front of him. The door flung open and Jacob and Stefan entered the van. Stefan nodded curtly at her and she knew he was still angry with her. She would have to work hard to make it up to him. She had been in this position before. She asked, 'where are your friends?'
'Coming,' Jacob said happily. Ana wondered why he was in such a good mood. Probably some girl, she thought. Jacob was very laid back and he annoyed her at times, especially when they were about to leave for a gig and he would wander into the room with a lazy look on his face asking if anyone had seen his shoes. But she loved him like a brother, and she knew that he loved her too. She wanted for him to be happy, and she hated to see the way girls treated him. Sometimes she thought her life would be easier if she loved Jacob like she loved Stefan, but it probably wouldn't be. She would only end up hurting him, and hating herself more than she already did.
There was another knock on the window. Jacob jumped up, over-eager, to open the door. He smiled at the person waiting outside, said, 'come in' and moved back to make way. Ana didn't really care to meet these supposed friends, they were probably just fans who wanted a good story to tell. She leaned her head against Alex's shoulder and closed her eyes. She really was very tired.
'Ana, I want you to meet our new friends,' Jacob said proudly. Inwardly, Ana groaned, but she sensed this was important to him and resolved to make an effort. She opened her eyes.
'Hi, Stacey,' one of Jacob's new friends said, her voice shaking uncharacteristically. Another stood silently beside her, looking as though she was on the verge of tears. The third stood a little behind, rage and hatred in her eyes.
Rosco said, 'who's Stacey?'
Jacob said, 'have you met before?'
Stefan looked at her curiously, one eyebrow raised.
Ana fainted.
