1.3

I awaken to a gun pointed at my face. I blink at it in irritation. "I thought we established that pointing guns at me accomplished exactly nothing except for irritating me?"

The blurry face resolves into the stuffy admiral whose ship I had hijacked. Ah.

"You have a lot of nerve being so flippant with me after wrecking my fleet," he snarls.

"The Angel wrecked most of your fleet," I fire back. "I killed the Angel with the help of Pilot Sohryu. I don't expect you to thank me for it or anything, you know."

His eyes narrow. "You took over my ship. You got a lot of good men killed. I can't forgive that."

He fires. As expected, the bullet pings off my AT-field. I make my irritation known as I flow from lying down into a standing position with a grace I didn't realize I had. The grump looks horrified. "W-what the Hell are you?"

"Annoyed," I deadpan. "Where'd you get the gun, and where's my entourage?"

The admiral has gone oddly quiet. I narrow my eyes. "I don't think you quite heard me. Where are my Ree?"

"They went down far more easily than you did," admits the old man.

I freeze. "What?"

Six more shots deflect off of my Absolute Territory. I flex it and slice the gun in half. "They better be only injured, or I will be very displeased with you."

His hand is shaking. "I-I had them tossed overboard."

Cold fury grips my heart. "Then join them." My AT-field wraps around his body, probing, questioning, squeezing... and stopping. "No," I say. "You will not die. Even if you wish you had." I squeeze in a very specific spot, and shatter his spine.

"And now you come with me."

The paralyzed man floats behind me as I stride through the steel door they thought could hold me. I ascend the stairs of the Over the Rainbow, terrified crewmembers fleeing from my path as I reach the deck.

What I see fuels my rage even further.

Unit-02 is restrained on the deck. Asuka is handcuffed to it, and several marines are pointing guns at her. It looks like they haven't even seen to her wounds from the Gaghiel battle.

"One has to wonder, what do you hope to accomplish by angering NERV?" I ask idly. Several of the guns are pointed at me now.

I float the paralyzed admiral out from behind me. "Tsk tsk. Wouldn't want to shoot your poor commanding officer now, would you?"

Several of the men's eyes widen. I smirk. "Now, would you please explain why our best pilot is being handcuffed, and left without medical attention?" Now that I'm closer, I notice that Asuka has a few bruises I can't recall Gaghiel inflicting on us, and therefore cannot be explained away by synch residue. Oh look. My lenience is rapidly evaporating.

The men look at each other. None seem to be willing to answer. Oh well.

I drop my "hostage" and rise into the air, my AT-field manifesting as a platform underneath me. That it gives me a commanding presence is just a bonus.

The men open fire at me. Oh wow. Look at all this difference it makes. Oh no wait it doesn't. I hover ominously forward as the bullets are deflected by the Light of my Soul. My face twists into a scowl. "I'm waiting for an answer, gentlemen."

One moron has the bright idea to jam the barrel of his gun under Asuka's chin. "Come any closer and I'll shoot your "Best Pilot's" fucking head off!" Asuka herself looks terrified.

Well. We can't have that, can we?

I lift my gaze as I address Unit-02. "Well, Kyoko? She is in clear and present danger. Do you love her at all? Then show it."

The moron holding the gun doesn't have a chance to even react before he's turned into a red smear on Unit-02's fingers. The rest of them open fire, but the Evangelion's fingers are already curved protectively around Asuka as its eyes glow. Any shots fired ping off of the Evangelion's massive and intimidating AT-field.

I take advantage of the distraction to explode the weapons with my own AT-field as I land. "Okay, boys. I suggest you scram. I have to talk to my Pilot."

They throw the remains of their weapons at me. I roll my eyes. "And when has that ever worked?"

I walk over to Unit-02 and slip through her fingers. "Pilot Sohryu? How are you? They didn't hurt you too badly, did they?"

To my horror, Asuka is actually sniffling a little. "I hate you," she murmurs.

I blink. "Hating your commanding officer is a surprisingly normal reaction, but enough about that. What happened?"

She raises her head to look at me. Oh god, those are tears. "They pulled you out of the plug as soon as we landed and took you away! And then they cuffed me! Me! And some of them hit me!"

"Assaulting an Evangelion Pilot carries a steep penalty," I remark. "They'll be harshly punished. Have you seen my comm-set?"

Asuka indicates her handcuffs. "What about these?"

I scowl harshly. "Thanks for the reminder." A flex of my will shatters the cuffs. I turn around. Unit-02 uncurls her fingers. The men look terrified.

"So." My voice is pleasant. "Which one of you had the bright idea to handcuff my Pilot? And who are the idiots who decided it was acceptable to hit a fourteen-year-old?" The men all take a step back. Nobody speaks.

Ice enters my voice as I take a step forward. "And what have you done with my Ree?"

Gulps all around. Still nobody speaks. A shadow falls over all of us. My mouth falls open. "...Unit-00?"


The massive teal and red Evangelion alights onto the deck. I see the local Homestucks have repainted it. The Unit has also been fitted with extra-large battery packs. A relieved voice spills forth from the external speakers. "Commander! You're okay! We were worried back home!"

I tilt my head. "Interesting. How did you know to be worried?"

00 lowers itself on one knee. "Mari and Iti woke up in some of the remaining spares with no idea what happened to them. We concluded that they had been killed by fishface and Shinju hurried me over."

I scowl. "Gaghiel is dead and Kyoko has a God Engine now. No, it seems that Iti and Mari have perished by human actions."

Unit-00's shoulder pylon opens, depositing an Eva-sized revolver onto the Eva's hand. "Shall I administer justice?"

I look at her with lidded eyes. "Get out of that Eva and talk to me face to face."

Sighing, the Evangelion reholsters the giant revolver and bows down. The armor above the Entry Plug detaches, allowing the plug itself to eject. It expels LCL, and the hatch opens. Out climbs...

Are you fucking kidding me.

I cross my arms. "Explain yourself, Asuka."

She has dyed her hair. It's orange-red. And she tosses it arrogantly. "I have decided on a full name, Commander."

Oh Lord. I sigh. "Do I want to know?"

She grins arrogantly, before producing a pair of red cats-eye sunglasses and donning them. "Asuka Pyrope Ayanami, Pilot of Evangelion Zerogoki, at your service!"

I stare at her. Then I glance at the teal and red Evangelion. Then back at her. "...Pyrope?"

A proud nod. I palm my face. "Tell Command we'll be arriving in a day. And then get out of my face. I have to comfort the real Asuka."

I stalk back over to 02. "I have realized," I announce, "that my personal Pilot Corps is full of lunatics. You so far excluded."

Asuka, the real one, is staring in horror. "Is that...?"

I scowl. "Your namesake? Yes. Unfortunately." I sit down next to her. "I'm starting to think allowing my Ree to pilot was a mistake, but she matched so bloody perfectly with her partner that it made tactical sense to give her an Eva..."

Asuka gave me an odd look. "Partner? Evangelions are solo machines, whatever happened today notwithstanding..."

I look at her in confusion, before realizing. "Oh, right, the Pilots aren't usually told for whatever reason... Are you up for some world-shaking revelations?"

She thinks for a moment, before her eyes widen in horror. "Don't tell me there's people in there?"

I nod appreciatively. "Oh, well guessed! Yes, you're synchronizing with someone who accepts you for who you are." My gaze turns somber. "In your case, your mother. Kyoko Zeppelin Sohryu."

Asuka's breath hitches. "M-mama?" She turns and stares Unit-02 in the eye. "Mama's in there?"

The Evangelion cranes its head forwards. Asuka takes a shaky step towards her. I slip away from the hopefully tender moment and find Pilot Pyrope.


When the Over the Rainbow finally docks at Hakone, literally everyone aside from Asuka (Sohryu) is in a foul mood. I'm annoyed at the other Asuka. Said other Asuka is annoyed at me. The now-paralyzed admiral is annoyed at everyone even vaguely associated with the word "Evangelion". The crew is annoyed at us, but thankfully they have scrounged up enough self-preservation (after a few more shattered spines) as to not get in our ways.

They'll get little reprieve from me, not that they know it yet.

Naoko and Kaoru are waiting as we all disembark. Various other NERV employees and a few Ree, plus Tsubasa and Kiko head aboard as I stride off the ship with the two Asukae.

"I want that entire ship court-martialled," I declare as I near the pair. "And I mean everyone. From the lowest janitor to the useless waste of admiral they had in charge. As soon as you get enough wheelchairs for all I care. I want them punished."

The two Ree exchange nervous glances. "I take it things didn't go well," says Naoko dryly.

I scoff. "That's putting it mildly." I cross my arms. "First they interfere with an official NERV operation, which forced me to take over the ship." Naoko winces. "Then, after I enable Kyoko to devour Fishface and go God, almost killing myself in the process, they have the gall to throw my unconscious ass in the brig." Naoko winces again. "And arrest Asuka." Kaoru's eyes widen. "And clobber her around for whatever godforsaken reason." The pair scowls. Oh look, I can scowl harder. "And kill Iti and Mari."

Kaoru gasps. "They did that? We thought the Angel might've-"

I shake my head. "Nope. Pure human cruelty." I don't smile, I show teeth. "Their situation however changed when I woke up. I did ask for wheelchairs, didn't I?"

Asuka Sohryu speaks up. "How did you know?"

I turn. "Hmm?"

"How did you know my Mama was in there?" she elaborates.

Unfortunately, I don't get to answer. A marine, as he's being led off the ship by Section Eight, sneers a "Oh look, the big bad Pilot is a Mama's girl now!" at her.

I close my eyes and sigh. Then I pull Tsubasa's pistol out of her holster as she passes by, and blow the fucker's brains out.

"Cleanup on Aisle Three," I deadpan.


A/N: Oh dear. I was planning on having less comedy in this chapter, but... Is it a darkfic too now?