When I came to, I had an awful headache. My body was so sore, and overall, I felt like I'd been run over by the Jab-Jab Bird.
"Finally awake, are you? That's good. I was starting to worry. I was hoping you didn't have a concussion or anything."
I opened bleary eyes to a small, lit room. I'm lying on a cot of some kind that's built onto the wall. I can't make out much besides green walls. I blink a few times, and that helps some.
A wet rag is laid over my forehead. It's cool, and I realize how hot my skin is. I look to my left, wondering who was taking care of me. I was surprised to see Absolem, reading a book and glancing at me once in a while so nonchalantly.
"Absolem?" I had to ask. I mean, he's hardly the person I would've expected.
"Yeah. Who did you expect?"
"Definitely not you."
He laughs, turning a page in his book. "Well, that's perfect timing. Just finished the chapter. I'll be right back. Don't try to get up."
He left the room for a moment, and of course I didn't listen. I pushed with my elbows and started to sit up. My vision swam, blood rushed to my head, and I collapsed back on the bed again. My head started pounding with my blood, and I was able to hear my own heartbeat from within.
"You tried to get up, didn't you?"
"No," I groaned.
"You're a terrible liar in this state. Your face is flushed, and you're sweating more than before."
"So what?"
"So, you're still recovering. You've only been out for a couple hours. It'll be a couple more hours before the wounds begin to heal."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, by morning, you should be good as new and ready to go get beaten again."
I stared at the ceiling, trying to think through everything. Was I making the right choice, preparing for this war, even at my young age? Granted, I was technically immortal, but this incarnation was much younger than any of my others. I'd never fought so young, at least, not according to the journals I've gone through.
My stomach grumbled loudly, and I laughed, embarrassed.
"Hungry, are we?"
"A bit."
"This time, don't try to get up. I'll go get some ramen."
"Ramen?"
"Yes. Occasionally I escapade into the Over World and learn of new foods that we wouldn't normally learn of. You've seen how well everyone has taken to tea and cakes. This is another Over World food."
Absolem returned with a bowl containing noodles, eggs, chicken, cheese, chives, and a strange brown spice I couldn't identify. It smelled good.
He stirred it all together before holding up a pair of sticks, some of the food gripped between them.
"Those are clean, right?"
"They're called chopsticks. They are Japanese tools for eating."
"What is Japanese?"
"Japan is a country of the Over World, known best for its rich, ancient culture."
The ramen was really good. I ate about half the bowl before a very sleepy feeling came over me, and my eyes drooped closed.
"Get some rest. I'll see you in the morning. By the way, my name is Koth. You can call me that, if you like, since you'll be staying here."
"I'm Fynnegan…" I managed. Then the welcome darkness overcame me and I was driven to unconsciousness.
My first week of training was...pretty much all the same. I met Roger in the training arena at eight o'clock, got beaten with a stick, and went back to Absolem's house each evening.
By Friday, Absolem was starting to run out of medical supplies.
"We'll have to collect more supplies. Would you mind helping me tomorrow?"
I gave him an accusatory look.
"What?"
"How did you know I wasn't busy tomorrow?"
"Because, even in the Over World, school is only five days a week. All you're doing is going to a special school."
"I guess."
"So?"
"I can help you get new supplies. After all, it's me that it all got wasted on."
"Not wasted."
"It kind of was. I mean, you've been patching me up each night just to see me come back beaten up again."
"You're getting less injuries each day, though. You're getting better at defending yourself."
"It doesn't seem like it."
"You are. Maybe you'll be sending him home with some bruises soon."
"I doubt that. It seems like I'm struggling to stand by the time we're done each day."
"And yet, have you noticed how you've been staying there longer each day?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've been back, what, say, ten minutes? Look at the sky."
I glanced up to see sparks of green, blue, and crimson coloring the purple sky as the sun went down.
"Where did the time go?"
"You're getting better. He knows you can take more, so he keeps you longer."
"For how long? I can't stay there twenty-four hours a day."
"Nah, he'll probably change the times back to something more regular next week."
"Maybe."
"In the meantime, come inside so I can stitch you up again."
I followed him into 'my room' and sat on the bed. He came in with what remained of his supplies.
"Where are the worst ones today?"
"Probably my arms. A couple on my legs. My ribs."
It only took about half an hour for him to finish treating my injuries today. He'd run out of supplies completely now.
"I hope I didn't miss any."
"No, I don't think you did."
A searing pain shot through my head suddenly, starting near my left temple, and making my head throb. I let my head fall in my hand, my eye pressed into my palm. Some of the pain fled as I hid from the lamp on the table beside me, but it did not cease.
"What's wrong?"
"N-nothing."
His hand pressed gently against my cheek, and he tilted my head towards him. He used his other hand to sweep my bangs aside, and winced at the mark I'd almost forgotten I'd obtained.
"What did this to you?"
"Just another hit by a stick. Maybe it's the reason for my headache."
"I can imagine. I'm afraid I'm out of supplies, so this one will have to wait until tomorrow. It will probably leave quite a scar."
"I'm no stranger to pain or scars, if my journals are anything to judge by. I was too slow to react. It's my own doing."
"He shouldn't have hit you so hard in training."
"It's better practice. My enemies will not go easy on me, nor will they slow their blade just because it may be a fatal blow. In fact, that may be cause for them to try even harder."
"But he is not your enemy. He is your trainer."
"It doesn't matter. Why are you getting all in my business, anyways?"
He turned away, hiding his face from me. Hiding something else with it.
"What is it?"
"N-nothing."
I couldn't see his face through his mess of hair, but his ears turned bright pink.
"Tell me anyways…"
He looked at me out of the corner of his sky blue eyes, with silver splotches of clouds. They were kind of fascinating to stare at.
Absolem gulped audibly, and I had to duck my head towards my lap to hide a grin.
"Well, it's just, you're quite a strange person. So I find you interesting to talk with."
"What's so strange about me in a world full of strange?"
"What is the difference between extraordinary and ordinary?"
"Just a little extra."
"Exactly."
"So what is this little extra that you find so interesting?"
"The way you stayed strong. After so many years of conforming to what other people wanted you to be, just because you were a girl, you've stood up and said enough. Most people would break under that pressure, but you've chosen to be who you are inside."
"That isn't strength. That is weakness. I conformed to others ideals and beliefs, and didn't try to be myself from the start. That is cowardice."
"But you've chosen to stand up now. This incarnation is older than you, and yet, that is not something I have found the strength to do in myself. I can't come out as I really am."
"What are you really like?"
"I'd be willing to show you, but…"
"But what?"
"But I would have to have a closer relationship to you. For one thing, you can't keep calling me Absolem. My name is Koth. I want you to call me that."
"Okay, what else? What exactly is it you want?"
"I...I don't know. Jeez, leave me alone about it!"
"Don't be upset, please? I just want to know what you're feeling, what you want."
"You really want to know what I want?"
"Yes. If you're unhappy with me staying here, or if you're having problems with something, I want to know."
"My only problem is that I'm terrible at explaining my feelings. I don't know how to tell you that I like you, that I want to be with you, and that just seeing you makes me smile on the inside. I don't know how to tell you that you're all I've been able to think about the last couple of months."
"Wh-what do you mean?"
"Damn it!" Koth pulled me from where I sat into his lap, holding me tight to his chest as his lips crashed down on mine. He pulled away just as suddenly, turning his gaze away from me and holding me much more gently.
"Wh-why did y-you do that?" I asked, my voice shaky. My hands were held up in front of my chest in tiny fists, and I could feel my legs tremble, despite not even standing. My vision swam, and my head pounded, until Koth looked at me again. His eyes trained on mine, and I focused on the look he was giving me.
"Because I wanted to. You asked me what I want, and that's just it. All I want is you." He glared at the floor again, frustrated with his own flaws. But they were the things I was beginning to like about him. His flaws made him who he is.
"What do you mean by that, exactly, Koth?"
He didn't answer as he put a gentle hand against my cheek, making me go still. He came to me slower this time, giving me a chance to say no. But I didn't say no. I wanted him to kiss me.
He was hesitant at first, just barely brushing his lips against mine before he started pulling away again. He paused, his eyes fluttering open for a moment to meet mine. He must have seen something in my eyes, because he touched his lips to mine again, this time without hesitating. I leaned into him, and he deepened the kiss, a moan coming from him. My heart quickened, and I let my arms fall naturally to his waist, making him shift and moan again.
I moved myself so I was straddling his lap, and he touched his tongue to my lips at the same time. I opened my mouth eagerly, and then it was my turn to moan.
Koth let go of my head to pick me up, carrying me back to the bed and laying me down, putting himself over me. He broke the kiss and stared down at me, before flopping on his side next to me. He wrapped me up in his arms gently, burying his face in my hair.
"You have no idea how good it feels to kiss you like that, and to hold you like this," he murmured.
I stretched, sprawling my legs out, ignoring the pain in my ribs. My legs fell around his right leg, pulling it towards me and making him roll over onto his side. The sudden touch of his chest to my back startled me, but I quickly settled against his unfamiliar warmth. He moved his arm from under me to support my head instead, and his other arm slipped under my shirt. The warmth of his hands on my abdomen relaxed me even more. It wasn't long before sleep overcame me.
When I woke up, I was in the familiar green room, on the soft cotton sheets of the bed that wasn't mine, curled up around my pillow, completely warm. Then my head rose and fell with an unfamiliar beat, and I realized my pillow was actually a person. I lifted my head up slowly from the brown shirt covering a solid chest. My head ached, and my vision blurred, but I got my senses under control quickly. Koth's face came into focus, peaceful and smiling in his sleep. I looked at our entangled bodies under the covers, my legs wrapped around his right leg, the rest of my body finding a perfect way to rest against him. One of his arms was wrapped around me, the other rested on my hip. From the impression of my head on his shirt, I guessed he'd had his face buried in my neck all night.
I laid my head back on him, content to lay there and ponder the repercussions later. Suddenly I was on my back, with Koth leaning over me, blue eyes flashing.
"What happened last night?"
"Don't you remember?"
"No. I had this really great dream, but I don't remember what happened last night. Why am I in here? Why am I here with you?"
"Well, um, you can leave if you want...it's your house...I'll leave, if you want me to."
"Just tell me what happened."
My cheeks turned pink, and I looked down at his chest, avoiding his eyes, as I remembered the feel of his lips.
"What?"
"You got upset trying to tell me how you feel about me. So, you kind of forcefully kissed me. And I asked why and you told me it was because you wanted to. Because you wanted me. And you kissed me again. You gave me every chance to say no, but I wanted to kiss you. We kind of ended up making out. Then you curled up with me on the bed and we fell asleep."
"It wasn't a dream," Koth whispered.
I glanced up, meeting his eyes again, and I found a faint smile playing on his lips, his eyes twinkling with a dash of mischief. He looked down at me, and his smile grew into a grin. The horns on his head gleamed in sunlight from the window, and his wings resettled themselves.
"What is it now?"
"Nothing really."
"Why are you grinning at me like that?"
"You wanted to kiss me."
"Yeah? So?"
"How long have you liked me?"
"Before you go there, let's talk about how long you have liked me! Remember who started what here."
"I've liked you since...since I don't know when. I liked you when you were still a boy."
"You're gay?"
"No. I don't like either particular gender, or any kind of particular look. I like you for your personality, who you are. But, I have to admit, as a girl in this guy clothing with your hair cropped short and all...I'm kind of liking it."
"Why is that?"
"I don't know. It's just a look that works for you."
While I contemplated that for a moment, Koth took a much gentler stance over me. His eyes caught mine, and I couldn't look away a he supported my head in his hand and slowly brought our faces together. Just before our lips met, my eyes fluttered closed.
These kisses weren't rough like the night before. They were sweet, gentle, lingering.
"How long have you liked me?"
"I don't know. I'm not good at recognizing that kind of thing."
There was a loud noise of rushing wind. Every time someone arrived in Wonderland, it echoed around the entire kingdom. Who could it possibly be?
"I assume you plan to discover whomever that may be?"
"I promised you I'd help gather medical supplies. They'll just have to find their way on their own, or find me here."
So, while Koth and I worked to find herbs, sometimes stealing a playful moment before returning to the work, unbeknownst to us, a stranger had entered our lands that would change everything. Nothing would ever be the same.
Once Koth and I had finished our work, the sun was overhead. It was not too late for me to serve as a guide to whomever had arrived. I waved goodbye and changed into a cat as I floated away, starting close to the door and floating about, searching for the curious soul I could nearly sense. I hadn't yet come into my full abilities.
It was with the soft sound of his boots on the forest floor that I found him. He appeared to be about seventeen. He wore riding boots, black slacks, a dress shirt, a green vest with coattails, a red bow tie, and an emerald top hat. A gold chain of a pocket watch hung from his pocket. His eyes were sapphire blue and his ash brown hair was on the long side, hanging in his eyes. I saw all of this from the cover of the trees. I vanished, making myself appear on a branch ahead of him.
His eyes widened with surprise. He watched me as my tail swished back and forth.
"Are you lost?"
"I do not believe so...this is Wonderland, is it not?"
"It is."
"How strange...a talking cat."
"Who are you?"
"Oz."
"I am Cheshire."
"And what are you doing here, Cheshire?"
"I can be your guide wherever you wish to go. Have you been here before?"
"Only once. I don't remember seeing you here."
"When were you last here?"
"A long time ago. I was such a young boy then. But now I am back. I seek the Mad Hatter."
"He left. I can take you to the apprentice he left behind, but he wanted to see the outside world. Come, follow me."
"Tarrant Hightopp is gone?"
"Yes. He left Tegan in his place. She's different, but not necessarily in a bad way. She isn't much of a hatter...more of a Mad Artist if you ask me. He left her his hat."
I floated ahead of Oz. He did strike me as familiar, although I didn't recall speaking to him before this day. Perhaps I briefly saw him when he first came to Wonderland.
"What did you do when you first came to this land?"
"I was only exploring. Your world is strange from mine, or even the other world I have visited."
"What was this other land you went to?"
"The Land of Oz."
"So you were…?"
"The wizard. The people named the land after me, because I led them."
"Do you have any other name, or are you simply Oz?"
"Well, you may call me Calvin, if you prefer."
"Calvin, you may call me Fynnegan."
"Cats have more than one name?"
"They do if they are also a person."
"What?"
I stepped behind a tree and transformed. When I stepped out again, I had the form of a girl that looked like a boy.
"How old are you, boy?"
"I'm a girl, and I'm eleven."
"Eleven? You seem so much older. You look older too."
""Wonderland inhabitants rarely truly die. We are reborn, and I have lived through many lives. You probably sense some of that."
He eyed me critically.
"You're not like others around here, are you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, for one, you're not mad. For another, you almost seem...depressed."
"No. I mean, I'm not mad, but I'm not depressed. There are things happening here that you could never understand."
"Explain it to me then," he said, stopping and leaning against a tree.
"The Red Queen was banished. Alice became a permanent figure here in Wonderland. Mad Hatter left. Absolem is losing his touch. He's becoming normal. Soon, he'll be leaving Wonderland, and I'm not sure he'll come back. A war is on the way. I may be dead in two years, and not coming back. And I'm leading a stranger through the woods from another land who is full of questions."
"And you're not depressed?"
"No. At the moment, I'm slightly amused."
"Why?"
"Because people that are full of questions last around here."
"And Absolem is not?"
"He's lost his muchness."
Calvin got the biggest, fakest look of surprise on his face.
"Koth never did impress me."
"How do you know him by that name?"
"Well, it may surprise you to know, little girl, but I spent quite a lot of time here with Tarrant. I never saw you, but I met many of the people you have just spoken of. Tarrant and I were close. I didn't get along with Koth."
"You never saw me because I did not desire to be seen by you, and it is as simple as that."
"He spoke of you, or at least someone like you. A boy that spent his time playing in the woods with the flowers and trees. Or a cat napping in a tree, waiting for lost travelers. He could disappear at will. He spoke little to anyone but Tarrant. Is he your brother or something?"
"No. He was me, in another life. A life before this. My gender can change as easily as the body I inhabit. The way to identify me is by the cat I become. That part of me is always the same."
"So you used to be a boy, and now you are simply a girl that looks like a boy?"
"No. That does not define who I am. What is your purpose in this place anyhow?"
He took of his top hat, and his hair was blown aside by the wind, allowing me to see his mirthful eyes.
"I'm looking for Tarrant and Alice, and it appears I've come to the right place to begin my search."
My eyes narrowed as I watched Calvin smile and stand upright, following me deeper into the woods.
