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The seventh month started much like the first; Bruce in his room, refusing to move himself.
He couldn't move.
It had been too much.
He had almost killed that man.
He fractured his skull.
The boy was 19, a first timer, a petty thief.
He could hear Joker's laughter in his head, his chill voice shaking his bones, echoing unfocused words.
Telling him he hadn't gone far enough.
It was becoming torture.
Dr Mahogany had tried talking to him, but he didn't understand, he could never understand.
…He just didn't know anymore.
Dick poked his head around Bruce's bedroom door.
"Bruce?" he whispered, unsure of whether Bruce was awake or not.
"Yeah," Bruce moaned, his voice gravelly, as if he'd not spoken in days.
Dick scrunched his eyes as he turned on the lights, holding his fingers to his brow as he thought of what to say, "I know you're unwell… but I really need your help."
Bruce lifted his head from his pillow, looking at Dick through the blinding light, "I'm not unwell, I'm thinking."
Dick took a few steps forward and sat on the chair by Bruce's bed, "Whatever. I need your help."
"What with?" the old man growled.
"We have found out who's in control of the Joker gang and-"
"Who is it?" Bruce asked loudly.
He could hear Joker's laughter in his head, Joker would have guessed who it was months ago.
"Harley Quinn…"
Joker would have realised that straight away. Who else would it be?
"We received a message from her, demanding to talk to you."
Bruce raised a hand to his eyes, rubbing them in an attempt to calm their gentle aching, "Why me…? I can't do anything."
Dick sighed slightly, that wasn't the reaction he had expected. "She is insisting that you apologise to her in person for what happened to Joker."
Bruce grumbled quietly, "Can't she just leave him alone? Why would she do this to his memory?"
Dick's eyes dropped to the floor, "I don't think she… She thinks she's honouring him."
"She's not, She's destroying everything he stood for."
Dick flinched slightly, swallowing hard, "Bruce…" Joker hadn't stood for anything, he was a murdering maniac with no disenable pattern, he did what he did for no reason.
It was like Bruce had forgotten all the terrible things Joker had done, all the people he'd killed.
Bruce sat himself up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, "…I can't let her do this to him…"
Dick got to his feet, "I just need you to go and see what she wants, you mustn't over-exert yourself."
The older man shot a glare in Dick's direction, "Don't tell me what to do, Dick, I'm Batman, I know what I'm doing."
"Bruce you are not well," Dick said, trying to keep a calm tone to his voice, "You need rest, I need you to do this, then I need you to stop this and get better."
"What do you mean 'stop this'?" Bruce growled angrily, getting to his feet.
Dick sighed, he just wanted Bruce to be Bruce again. What he was turning into, it wasn't right, it wasn't him. "I've made another appointment with Dr Mahogany, he's coming over tomorrow."
"That's the fifth time this month."
"Yes Bruce, that's because you are mentally ill! You aren't yourself Bruce, you need help," Dick could feel himself getting more and more frustrated, he couldn't stop himself from shouting.
Bruce was acting like a child.
"Fuck you Dick! There's nothing wrong with me!" Bruce screamed, anger quickly filling him.
He was so angry, angry at Harley for what she was doing, angry at Dick for how he was acting, angry that Joker's laughter wouldn't leave his head.
He held a hand to his head.
Joker was doing this on purpose, Bruce was sure, torturing him for fun…
"Fucking clown…"
Dick frowned, "See? Bruce that's what I mean, you fucking drift off and talk to yourself. If I didn't know better I'd think you were becoming schizophrenic."
"Maybe I need someone to talk to who will fucking understand," Bruce frowned, squaring up to Dick, waiting for the younger man to back down.
Dick's frown deepened, "So you want to talk to someone who understands what it's like to be a vigilante who fell in love with his fucking dead arch nemesis?"
Bruce bit on his lip, "Get out."
"Bruce," Dick half pled, instantly regretting what he'd said.
"Now, Dick! Get the fuck out of my house! I never want to see you here again!" Bruce screeched, pushing the younger man backwards forcefully, towards the half-opened door.
Dick huffed gently, turning on his heels and walking from the room.
Bruce stared up at the Batcomputer, Dick hadn't said where Harley was.
He was searching for the highest concentration of 'Joker' crime.
'Try the northeast corner…'
"Northeast…" He zoomed in on the stretch of old houses. There were no crime markers there.
'…Exactly.'
'…She's not a genius, but she's not a complete idiot. She'd know that Batman would look for her where there was most crime.'
"Good point…" Bruce mumbled, "I'll check it out."
"What was that Master Bruce?" Alfred asked from the stairs, Bruce hadn't even realised he was there.
'Getting a bit slow?'
Bruce smiled at the voice in his head, he wasn't getting slow, he was distracted.
'Excuses, excuses!'
"I was just… making a mental note, something I have to do later. Doesn't matter," Bruce spoke in half-sentences.
Alfred frowned, he was getting concerned, "Sir, I, um… I talked to Dick."
Bruce's frame visibly tensed, "Yeah?"
"Master Bruce, what happened?"
'Why's he asking that? What a dumb-arse!'
Bruce swallowed hard, "You talked to Dick, you know what happened."
Alfred sighed, his head dropping slightly. "Sir… Did you really ban him from the house?"
"Yes," he answered bluntly.
"May I ask why?"
"No, Alfred!" Bruce said loudly, "You may not, I have my fucking reasons. Now leave me to my work."
Alfred shuffled slightly, "Sir… I… Dr Mahogany's upstairs."
"I don't want to see him."
Alfred stood on the spot for a second, watching Bruce's head turn back to the computer, "Ok, sir."
Alfred walked back up the stairs, turning his head when he heard Bruce let out a tiny chuckle, and whisper out "Yeah, I know."
He re-entered the entrance hall, his eyes quickly moving to Dr Mahogany, the tall young man smiling at the older. "Sir, Master Bruce is refusing to see you."
Dr Mahogany sighed, "Ok. Is he still… displaying signs?"
Alfred nodded, "Yes, worse than ever, he's thrown Dick out of the house now too."
Dr Mahogany began to walk towards the bat-cave's entrance, stopping by the old clock, observing for a second, looking for a way to open it. "Let me in would you?" he said politely when he realised he couldn't find a button or switch.
Alfred smiled, approaching the clock and pushing the hidden button, "If he asks, I protested, profusely."
Mahogany descended the stairs and frowned, looking about the cave. "Uh, Alfred!" Mahogany shouted through the cave, back up the stairs, "He's not here!"
Batman sat on the head of the statue at the top of the tall building, caressing the ear of one of the gargoyles, humming gently to himself, singing snippets of a song he barely knew.
He turned his head, looking out to the north east of Gotham, slowly whistling the last line of the sad song.
"She'll be there…" he said to himself, nodding gently.
He gave the gargoyle another pat, whispering a gentle 'love you' as he did.
That place was becoming his favourite place in Gotham. Not for it's viewpoint, but for the fact that Joker' voice was strongest there, the memory was so strong, he could almost see him.
He could spend all night up there.
"I should go and find her…" he mumbled, still caressing the stone.
'But you don't want to leave coz' I'll fade?'
Batman nodded, "I don't want you to leave me again."
'Aw, aren't you a darling!'
Batman sighed, "…I'm sorry…" he said smally, something he seemed to be saying more and more nowadays.
He leapt from the head and soared towards Harley's supposed location, tilting his head back to the large tower.
He let out a tiny sigh, wondering if there were any other places where he'd feel Joker's presence as much as he did there.
Maybe Joker's hideout?
…He'd go there after finding Harley, too see if it worked.
He made his way to a street in the north east, standing in the middle of the road, staring down it blankly.
He didn't know if Harley was there, he just had a feeling she was, something told him so.
He swallowed hard. Maybe he should shout for her?
"Harley!" he yelled loudly, his voice booming and echoing through between the empty houses.
He waited for a few minutes.
Maybe she wasn't here.
'She is… just wait.'
He stood, standing for a short while, ears pricked.
"B-Man!" he heard a familiar shrill, "I though I heard something out here! 'Come to apologise to me at last, huh?"
He turned and saw Harley, she wasn't wearing her hood, and her hair was died black, not dressed in her usual black and red, instead wearing black and a deep plumb purple… the outfit seemed to have been made from panels cut from Joker's own suit.
He sight made a lump of hatred rise in Bruce's throat. He swallowed hard, and tried to resist the urge to punch her.
"Well, go on then!" she screeched, Bruce could see tear-tracks down her week old white makeup.
She shouldn't have shed tears for him… she had no right.
Bruce could feel hate-filled tears welling in his eyes, "Harleen."
Harley narrowed her eyes, "Apologise!"
"For what? I did nothing." Batman said quietly, repressing the storm of anger filling his head.
"What? Don't make me laugh, Hah hah! You know what you did!"
Batman kept himself still, "Tell me what you think I did."
'Let your emotions out Batsy, it's good for you.'
Batman let out a low growl, watching as Harley took a few steps closer, "You killed my puddin'" she screamed, pointing a finger accusingly.
Batman let out an un-human roar "I did not kill him! I would never kill him! He killed himself!"
Harley jumped back at the noise, holding her hand behind her back, she probably had a weapon there. "Listen B-Man, just say your sorry and I promise I won't hurt you."
Batman laughed loudly, a smile appearing on his face, making Harley gasp and frown, "Oh, Harley… You think you can even touch me?"
She pulled a gun from behind her and shot in Batman's direction, Batman dodged gracefully, and threw a batarang, hitting the end of the gun, rendering it useless.
She threw it to the floor, and stood still, shoulders hunched in shocked anger.
Batman continued laughing, his head tipping back as the odd noise rang in the street, "Y-You think he cared about you!? He didn't care shit for you, Harley! You could'a died and he wouldn't have noticed!"
Harley frowned, growling slightly, "My puddin' did care for me, he did! You'll see!"
"No!" Batman's voice called, "I won't! He's dead! Harley! He did not care about you! He told me himself!"
"He would never say such a thing! He loved me!"
Batman felt the anger in him begin to swell again.
'Let it out Bats!'
"He loved me!" Batman heard himself shout, unaware that the words had left his mouth.
"W-What?" Harley said with a slight and shocked giggle after a few seconds of silence, "He hated you, he wanted you dead!"
"He loved me, he told me himself!" Batman continued to scream. The words simply wouldn't stop, and Bruce made no attempt to make them do so, "I know more about him than you ever did and I was closer to him than you ever were!"
Harley laughed mockingly, "Me and Mr J were together for years! H-He did love me I know he did!"
Batman chucked again, "Harley. I'm going to tell you this once. You stop this, stop the Joker gang, or I will end the miserable thing you call 'your life'."
Harley laughed, "No Batman! Not until you apologise!"
"Harley!"
"Boys!" Harley called, her voice high and sweet.
A group of 10 men appeared from the dark alleyways surrounding them, Bruce hadn't noticed them, he'd been to focused on Harley, how had he not seen it coming?
He turned to face the attackers, growling loudly and throwing them a stern glance.
They all knew what had happened to he boy the previous month, the one who hadn't even left hospital yet.
"Fucking try it and see what happens," Batman growled gently, puffing his chest to make himself seem more intimidating, "I dare you."
The group of men, clad in Joker make up, mock-Joker clothes, stood fast, scared.
One of them, an imbecile, ran forward. Batman stood his ground until the white-faced kid was only a few feet away. Bruce span on the spot and kicked out, his foot thwacking the man in the face, making his nose explode with blood, knocking him backwards and over, flat onto his face.
Batman gave the rest of the group a soft smile. They turned and ran. Leaving Harley in their dust.
"Oi!" she screeched, "Get back here!" she looked between the running men, and back to Batman, then she too turned and began to run, leaving Batman laughing in the middle of the deserted road.
He doubted he would hear from them for the nest few weeks.
He quickly found his way to the spot where he and Joker had had their picnic. One of the best nights of Bruce's life.
He walked across the grass of the all-too-ordinary patch of grass. There should be something there, really, something that told people what had happened there.
People should know; this is where Batman was happy.
He jumped down the manhole, and smiled, seeing the place just as it had been left, the suits on the rack, the games the toys.
And the smell. God, it smelled like him.
He pulled one of the suits from the rack, lifting the material to his face and inhaling the lovely scent.
He took a seat, in the large bean-bag chair that sat in the corner… it still smelled of him, it was so strong, Batman could almost feel him there… curled up beside him on the chair, with his jacket pulled over him like a duvet…
Sleeping, next to him, consumed by the bliss of their presence together.
Bruce let the warmth of the imagined scene flood him, resting his arm along the chair, wrapping his arm around the sweet smelling suit.
Wishing it were real.
Wishing they could fall asleep together again.
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