It was a sunny, breezy afternoon in the park. Spencer had brought a semi-professional Canon camera her sister had forgotten to take back to Philly so she could take good pictures of the girls in the outside. Most of the pictures they had of each other were interior shots, always inside someone's bedroom or yard – not counting the ones A tortured them with. She wanted to hang these new ones in her wall, as a way to immortalize their new evolved estate of liberation. Spencer had requested Aria's help to take them, since Aria was truly the most artistic one of them, but she couldn't make it: her mother made her stay home to keep an eye on her brother. So Spencer had decided to take some pictures of the trees and the birds to try out her artistic pull, and she had wandered away in the park like that weird photographer in the movie she had decided to watch last night, Blow-Up, hoping she wouldn't run into some other murder scene which she would again try to disentangle.

Anyways, it felt awkward to take shots at Hanna and Emily without Aria being there, so she left them talking for a while. She had brought a soccer ball and junk food as well, two items which were contemplated by Hanna with a mix of disgust and horror. However, after a while Hanna had sat on a bench with Emily and had started to bite the Doritos and the fries Spencer had taken for them. Everything was going smooth. The air and the descending light gave the day a lazy quality which she could enjoy, as well as try to capture in her amateurish shots.

Emily, however, felt a little off this afternoon: Aria wasn't even there and Spencer had disappeared with her camera after a while. She wasn't obviously going to play soccer on her own, so she sat by Hanna and they started talking about what they talked every single day now that they were living together: Caleb, Mona, new clothes, Hanna's dad (this was a very touchy subject), Aria's highly complex love life. They didn't mention either A nor the colleges they wanted to go, given that Emily was still terrified of what would happen to her if the Danby affair was discovered, not to mention the whole HGH thing. This was supposed to be a happy-go-lucky kind of day, so they had at least to work on keeping the appearances.

After a long chat where they covered all of these subjects without really getting deep into any of them, they grew silent and they just ate from the paper bag Spencer gave them. Fortunately for them, the brunette, along with her camera and two blonde girls, reappeared from behind the trees and started walking towards Hanna and Emily. Halfway through, they all stopped, Spencer gave the camera to one of the girls and she took a picture of Spencer. They all started talking and smiling to each other, while Emily ate from the paper bag and Hanna just stared at the group trying to catch a word of what they were saying.

"Do you think we should just, like, get together with them?", Hanna asked into the void, her eyes never leaving the group. "It pisses me off she's making friends out there while we're here on our own getting fat with food she brought."

Emily didn't answer. She was indeed a little pissed off at Spencer. Coming to the park had been her idea all along, but she had been out of sight for a good half an hour. That was Spencer, though. She wanted to make everybody happy, but then she liked to do her own thing without really minding the others.

They didn't move from where they sat. Spencer looked at them and flashed them a cute smile. Then the girl who had taken the picture of Spencer gave back the camera and touched Spencer's elbow.

"Wait, is that girl hitting on Spence? " Hanna's radioactive eyes instantly picked up on the gesture.

"What?", Emily fixated her eyes on the group. "Why would she…?"

She interrupted herself. The blonder girl was clearly hitting on Spencer. Emily's gaydar was not in perfect conditions yet, and it might never be, but she was not blind. The girl had not only touched Spencer's elbow while they were exchanging the camera; she let the hand stay there, meaning Spencer's elbow, for a couple of seconds before she actually retrieved her hand.

"She's totally hitting on her", Hanna stated, matter-of-factly.

The blonder girl wrote something in a piece of paper the other girl handed her. Then she also gave it to Spencer, who took it with her perpetual half smile in her face.

"Well, that was fast."

This was all Emily could think of saying.

She had been hit on pretty fast by some girls too – especially Samara – but at least she was gay. And she had met Samara at a gay thing meeting where Paige was supposed to go instead of her. It was weird for her to look at other girls getting involved in that kind of action, especially related to one of her friends; she hadn't really grown accustomed to it yet. It was even weirder, however, to realize she would probably never reach that level of audacity. It made her feel unfit for the life she was preparing to have.

The girls finally said goodbye to Spencer, who sped up back to the bench where they were sitting, looking completely innocent but at the same time flushed with happiness.

"Did that girl just try to hit on you?"

Hanna decided she would not lose anyone's time trying to find out what had just happened.

"Who?" Spencer looked at the girls, who were already disappearing from their sight. "No. Why would she?"

"Sure she did!", Hannah asserted. "Didn't you notice how she was all smiles and elbow-touching?"

Spencer looked at her like she was crazy, but something playful flashed in her eyes at the same time.

"C'mon, Han." She dismissed it like it was nonsense. "She was just showing her gratitude. I ran into them while I was taking pictures and I showed them the way to the ice palace."

"And why did she have to touch you to do that?" Hanna would never buy such a lame excuse. "I don't touch your elbow when I'm showing my gratitude".

"But you do smile", Spencer joked, letting her slender body find a place by Hanna's side. She then looked at Emily, trying to find support. "Em, tell her. She was not hitting on me."

Emily looked Spencer in the eye, as if she was telling her a really significant fact of life that she herself still had trouble adjusting to.

"She was."

"You too, Brutus?", Spencer replied, but only Emily understood what she meant. "Come on! Why would she hit on me?"

"Yeah, that's what I wonder", Hanna said, gaining an offended look by Spencer. "I mean, no offense, Spence, but her gaydar isn't working."

"That should be pretty clear, yeah." Spencer looked as if she was starting to get annoyed.

"You could at least have handed her to Emily", Hanna scorned. "You should always think of that. Instead, you just gave her your number. That's alteristic of you."

Both Emily and Spencer looked at Hanna as if they couldn't believe what she was saying.

"Altruistic", Spencer corrected after a millisecond of doubt. "I'm gonna pretend I know what you're saying and tell you I would never hand a person to Emily. And, besides, Emily doesn't really need that, right? Em?" Spencer focused her argument on Hanna, not even waiting for Emily's answer. "And I didn't give her my number. She gave me her email address so I can send her a couple of pics that I took of them."

"Right", Hanna said, still utterly unconvinced. "Whatever."

Emily felt as if she was being left outside of the conversation. She had no real intentions of getting her way in, anyway. She didn't have time to think about the reason, but whatever it was, it was making her uncomfortable.

They became silent for a second.

"Maybe you led her on", Hanna started again, deep thoughts running through her mind. "I mean, unconsciously. You're straight and you have a boyfriend. Or is it the other way around? I'm never sure what to say first."

Spencer rolled her eyes.

"I didn't lead her on."

"Maybe your clothes did", Hanna wondered aloud. "They're kinda gay."

This time it was Emily's eyes that rolled all the way up, but nobody noticed.

"What?", Spencer did seem to take this one personally. "What do you exactly mean? Is there such a thing as gay clothes?"

"Yes, there is." Hanna seemed to be moving on safe ground on this one, because she sounded like a complete erudite. "And they clearly inflicted some lesbian-loving on the girl."

"Jesus Christ", Emily muttered. A part of her wanted to block her ears and shout la la la to them.

Hanna looked at Emily for the first time since her punching ball competition with Spencer had started, expecting support from her.

"What? You don't agree?"

"I don't see Emily dressing any different since she became gay", Spencer interrupted, again before Emily could say a thing. "So you're just not making sense, as usual."

"That's because she didn't become gay, Spencer. For your information, she is gay and has been all the way", Hanna explained, as if she could lecture Spencer on the mysteries of sexuality and clothes. "Besides, Emily is a hot lesbian, so that changes everything."

"Excuse me?", Spencer croaked, and this time she looked actually offended. The argument was clearly becoming heated. "Hot lesbians wear exactly the same clothes as hot straight girls everywhere. For all you're saying you could be a hot lesbian too."

"Wrong", Hanna declared, feeling overconfident. "She just doesn't get it." Hanna looked directly at Emily again and sighed in defeat. "Em, you have to make it clear to her. She will listen to you."

They both waited for Emily's wise diagnosis on the matter of gay clothing.

"I don't even know what you guys are talking about."

"Exactly my point", Spencer smiled. "Thanks, Em."

Emily gaped upon Spencer's arrogance, and she was still gaping when Hanna huffed her disagreement.

"We're taking about gay clothes, Em", the blonde feigned to clarify. "Don't be shy, speak your mind, she can take it."

"I'm not the master of lesbianism here", Emily responded, surprised that they would even allow her to utter a single sentence. She didn't feel like an authority in the matter. She wished she did. But that was not even the point. The point was... "To be honest I think..."

"Well, you're the only one who knows for a fact", Hanna cut her off, as if this was obvious.

Emily gave up and tried to form a sentence that would sum her thoughts up.

"Right", she said, preparing to explain the most important fact of her lesbianism to Hanna. "I know for a fact what it feels like to kiss a girl. It has nothing to do with getting dressed every morning."

Sure of her victory, Spencer smirked as she prepared to throw a triumphant remark at Hanna, but Emily looked straight at her. She wouldn't let Spencer win so easily. Hanna did actually have a point, even though her way of stating it was sort of impertinent... and crazy... and maybe not so realistic, but...

"Anyways", she continued, commanding Spencer to close her mouth when she fixed her with the kind of stony gaze she only used against Spencer in select occasions. "Hanna meant this girl probably thought you were gay, or could become gay, as you said before, Spencer. It's not that bad."

"I know it's not that bad." Spencer said calmly. "I don't really care."

"Right. Because you're wearing plaid", Hanna interrupted them, getting back to her point. "And a hat."

Spencer was indeed wearing a plaid shirt and a cute hat that protected her skin from the sun.

"What's that even..."

"So you don't care", Hanna repeated, looking at Spencer with great curiosity. "I knew it. You're totally sending a vibe."

"Of course I don't care, why would I?", Spencer shrugged her shoulders as if she actually didn't care. "The girl was cute. And I'm not sending a vibe."

"You were", Hanna countered. Then she flashed a smile to Spencer. "But I wouldn't care either. She was kinda cute."

"Could we, like, drop the matter of lesbianism already?", Emily asked, really wanting to leave the subject. Surprisingly enough, she was feeling off her game right now. She wondered if that meant she still felt uneasy when the subject was brought up by her straight friends – well, basically, her only friends. She didn't like the thought. There was no reason to continue feeling afraid or unsure after they'd all been so accepting.

"We're not talking about lesbianism anymore", Hanna smirked, completely ignoring Emily's request. "We're talking about Spencer enjoying it. It's different."

"I enjoy every bit of attention I can get", Spencer smirked back. She was, in fact, a natural flirter. "I just didn't realize she was hitting on me like that."

"Yeah, poor innocent girl", Hanna mocked her, still not buying it. "That's why you didn't think about Emily. You're innocent and selfish. You should've come here and introduced us to these girls so they could lay eyes on Emily."

"Hey, I am right here", Emily tried to break into the conversation, but they were too fast for her. She couldn't think so fast. "I could have introduced myself if I'd wanted to."

"Em doesn't care about that", Spencer said again, looking at Hanna and not at Emily. "And anyway she's kind of in speaking terms with Maya again."

This time she did shoot Emily a curious, penetrating look that somehow made Emily nervous. She felt as if she was being both questioned and challenged by Spencer.

She wondered what that even meant.

"So what?", Hanna was again fast to respond. "She has to have her options open. And you just made it impossible. You're selfish. And fake-gay."

"I am not."

"I just proved it."

"You didn't prove a thing."

"I proved you're not thinking about Emily's love life."

"Me?", Spencer looked back at Hanna and raised her eyebrow. "I'll get back the girl if you want me to. You just have to ask."

"I can ask."

"So do it."

She threw the dare in such a calm, confident voice that Hanna grew silent, impressed by Spencer's cockiness. Spencer did not move an inch from where she was sitting, but her whole attitude seemed to scream she was sure she could find the blond girl in this fairly big park and come back to introduce her to Emily. She just kept staring at Hanna, knowing too well that she had actually stopped her from picking on her anymore.

"Can we really drop this now?"

Emily was now officially annoyed, even though she really didn't know why. Perhaps it was because they were talking about her like she wasn't even there. Or perhaps it was because they were talking about lesbians and homosexual feelings in such a weird, absurd way that it also made her feel weird and absurd. Or maybe it was the way Spencer had looked at her when she mentioned Maya, which brought her back to the conversation they had had on the phone the other night.

What the hell did that mean?

Emily didn't really know. But she felt a little unsettled.

"Okay. Let's talk about something else", Hanna finally reacted, laughing as if she was having the time of her life. "Something that's even more fun than this."

Apparently, every person on the face of the earth enjoyed arguing with Spencer. She proved to be a tough contender. Although it seemed Hanna actually enjoyed picking on her more than arguing with her.

"So Spencer…", Hanna continued, fixing her sweet bluish-greenish innocent eyes on the brunette. "Tell us."

Yes, she did enjoy picking on her and she was going to try again.

"I hope you're not going back to the lesbian thing", Spencer warned. "Because I won that one."

Emily rolled her eyes and silently prayed for an ending to this torture. She generally enjoyed their banter, but not now that the joke was on her.

"Nah, I'm done with that", Hanna laughed, letting it go for the moment. Apparently she had something else in mind. "This is serious."

"All right. Shoot it then."

Hanna took a pause to observe Spencer before speaking.

"How is it going with Toby?", she finally said, her words slow but light. "You were with him this morning, right?"

"Yeah, we were in St. Andrews", Spencer replied. Nobody said anything but they kept looking at her, so she decided to go on. "There was a lot of stuff to do there. We went to an old bookstore where you could find really old editions of History books and stuff. Some first editions too. You guys should have come with us." She meant that for Emily, but she didn't want to say that in front of Hanna. Not that it wasn't clear, on the other hand. She had seen a copy of The Heart is a Lonely Hunter that was signed by Carson MacCullers in 1943 and she had thought of getting it for Emily, because she knew Emily had loved it when she read it a couple of months ago. It was kind of expensive, though, and she hadn't taken so much money with her. Maybe she would go there again to get it.

"What I mean to ask is if you feel good with him", Hanna rushed to her next question. Spencer could get it on with the book thing and never stop. "Have you reached second base? Third base?"

"Hanna!", Emily's voice high pitched a couple of tones.

Spencer gave Hanna a dirty look, but she answered calmly.

"You want to know if we just make out or if we already had sex, don't you?"

The question was asked cooly. They were again circling each other like best friend and joke hunters.

"Well, have you?"

Hanna was aware she was being a little tactless here, but she kind of wanted to share the feeling of not being the only one who had already experienced sex with a boyfriend; and Spencer was the only one she knew who could actually have done it already. Spencer was also the reckless one. That's what Hanna thought of her anyway. Emily was a prude and also currently sort of single (that was not exactly clear as of today, but Emily swore she was only speaking to Maya, not dating her yet), whereas Aria had her own sort of... problem. So it had to be Spencer. Hanna was waiting for her.

"No, we haven't", Spencer answered, "yet."

Hanna's eyes sparkled wickedly. She didn't seem disappointed. "So you've been thinking about it?"

"Well, sure I have", Spencer confirmed, her cheeks becoming suddenly blushed. "It's just that…"

"You're not sure you want to do it with him?", Hanna ventured.

"No, it's not that." Spencer denied with her head. "I love him. I do - it's real. It's just… I don't know how to explain it. I want to feel safe."

The three of them stood there silently looking at each other. Emily could swear she could actually hear Spencer's breathing coming in and out of her lungs, despite the physical impossibility of it due to the noises surrounding them in the park.

"It's not because of him. He's the perfect guy to do it." Spencer decided to continue, lowering down her tone so no passersby could hear her. "It's just… the whole A situation. I don't really want to run into a sex tape of me and Toby in two or three months. It's... You know how it is. We're not safe."

Hanna nodded in understanding.

"Especially if they show it after I've been killed off", Spencer said in her most sarcastic tone. "Porn in the grave. My parents would disown me. Although I'd be already dead, so that kinda makes it better."

"Yeah", Emily said, finally gaining back her voice. "You should just take it easy. And be careful."

"It's difficult to do both, you know. It's like..."

"But you should do it if you really want to", Hanna interrupted, abandoning her mocking tone and looking as solemn as she could ever get. "One thing I've learned lately is we should do what we want before we're dead."

She sounded so deep that both Spencer and Emily lifted her heads in surprise. They were not so used to Hanna sounding like an oracle.

"Wow, that sounded scary." Hannah immediately changed her tone, as if she had been half joking. "Sorry." She got up from the bench as if she had actually scared herself with her words. "We should throw this somewhere."

Hanna grabbed the paper bags while she looked around for a place to throw the garbage. Spencer and Emily shared a meaningful look.

"Don't worry", Spencer said, taking the paper bags from Hanna's hands. "There's one over there. I'll take them when we leave."

Emily softly pulled Hanna's hand back to the bench, but at that very moment Hanna's cell phone rung. They all jumped like it was a call from hell. Hanna frantically searched for her phone in her big purse with the palest expression they had ever seen, but she showed nothing but relief when she finally took it out.

"It's Caleb", she explained, already walking away to get a little privacy.

Spencer observed Emily while Emily followed Hanna with her eyes, still shaken by the newest realization of their fear.

"It's starting to get dark", Spencer said, just to get Emily's attention. "Wanna come with me to throw this away?"

They both stood up and started picking up the garbage. Emily made a sign to Hanna to tell her they were going to throw the bags to the basket that Spencer had pointed before.

They walked slowly, the shadows of the trees already dancing on their faces while they grew closer to their destiny. When they got there, they threw everything away. Spencer took her hat off and then placed her camera in a more comfortable position around her neck.

"You've been awfully quiet today", Spencer said, still relocating the camera. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah", Emily responded, looking back at Spencer, "I'm fine."

"Good."

Spencer kept her dark eyes fixed on Emily's face, trying to read her mind.

"I'm sorry about that before." Emily gave her a confused look. "I mean the conversation. The lesbian thing."

"Oh, it's okay. Don't worry about it."

"I hope it didn't make you uncomfortable."

Emily wondered how it was possible that Spencer could actually sense her inner workings like that.

"Are you sure you didn't know the girl was trying to hit on you?" Emily took a bold step. She had been willing to ask Spencer about this all along.

Spencer smiled coyly. "I guess I did notice something was going on. Is that so bad?"

"No." Emily shook her head, thinking. "Not really."

It was weird. She had wanted to ask but now she didn't know what to say. She could feel Spencer's eyes on her still trying to cut her mind open to see what was inside it.

"Have you talked to Maya again?" Finally it was Spencer who dared to ask, not knowing if she was going to be turned down.

"Yeah", Emily answered, inner turmoil inside her chest. Whatever they had talked on the phone the other night, it wasn't really working, but she wasn't sure whose fault it was. "We're meeting tomorrow after school."

"Cool."

Emily feared Spencer was going to keep asking her about Maya. She wasn't really in the mood for the interrogating mode, so she just wished it wouldn't happen, but she knew Spencer too well for that. What Spencer did after that, however, was lift her camera to Emily's face. She opened the lenses, took a couple of steps backwards and focused on Emily, who was still surprised to see Spencer's move.

"Stand still", she ordered. "And smile!"

Emily complied and looked at the camera, feeling sort of perplexed and flattered at the same time. Then, after shooting a couple of times, Spencer lowered the camera again, closed the lenses and walked towards Emily.

"I hope they don't come up too dark", she told her. "Thanks."

Emily only smiled as an answer.

"So have you had fun today?", Spencer asked, her eyes not leaving Emily's face.

"Sure. Why is that so important?", Emily shot back, a little too sharp for her own taste.

Spencer shrugged. "Because it is. I wanted you to have fun today." She showed off the widest, most innocent smile. "You should be happy."

"We all should, I guess", Emily answered, resigned to living in fear after having heard Hanna's words earlier. "That's what we're all trying."

She didn't really understand what Spencer was trying to say.

"Yeah, you're right", Spencer agreed. "But I wanted to have a special day of happiness." She stopped, as if she'd wanted to add something else. "Whatever." She looked away for the first time, catching a sight of Hanna's long pale form in the distance.

Emily laughed.

"You're acting kinda weird today."

Spencer laughed back, but something in her eyes told Emily she had something on her mind.

"I'll send you the pictures when I download them tonight." They started to walk back to Hanna. "It'll be an early birthday present. If they are good, of course. I hope they are."

"You can save the ones of the trees", Emily teased, "and the ones of the gay blond girls."

Spencer looked at Emily out of the corner of her eye, but she didn't say anything.

Emily was getting an awkward vibe out of this conversation and, probably, out of the whole afternoon. She had had moderate fun, although she wouldn't say that to Spencer because she seemed totally focused on the idea that this day had to be a happy day, as if happy days could be marked in the calendar in advance. But there was something that she was feeling uneasy with. And it had to be with Spencer. And she didn't really like feeling that way. And she was a little scared of it.

She had to give it some thought, though.

She had to defuse it. It gave her some vague sense of guilt she had not felt in months.

Hanna walked steadily to meet them. She pointed to the soccer ball and pointed the gesture with another face of disgust.

"We're not taking that thing back with us, right?"

Spencer ran to get the ball.

"Of course we are!", she yelled, already from a distance.

Hanna and Emily contemplated Spencer picking up the ball. The day had already grown dark and cold.


A/N: Title taken from "The Sun The Trees", song by Russian Red.