Yo ho diablo! How are we all today? Good? Great! Now don't all die of a heart attack...we didn't make you wait almost two months this time!! We're back, with the next instalment of our co-wriiiiiteee!

We won't hold you up for too long...just the usual things to say here: thanks for the awesome reviews, thanks to Holly for beta-ing, thanks to Kirstie at ZA Angels for voting this Fan Fic of the Week! We were both so excited and flattered! If you don't know what ZA Angels is, you should be suitably ashamed and go check it out right after you read this chapter :p zaangels dot com, yall! While you are there, visit the most awesome fan forum that both of us (Jessa and Kylie) moderate at, and vote in our banner contest - zaangels dot com slash forums!

Well, that's it from us! Enjoy!

Team KJ

(Please note: No imaginary animals were harmed during the writing of this chapter. It's the magic of fanfiction!)


Chapter Four: Friendzilla

As our laughter echoed up the stairs, I vaguely wondered just how much I annoyed my neighbours.

My concern only lasted approximately 3 seconds however, as my attention was drawn back to my best friend. We had had such a great time together during dinner and I had managed to act relatively normal and relaxed for the entire night, after my little promise to myself.
I'm not sure if it had more to do with proving a point to Sharpay than actually getting over Troy, but whatever – it was working for me.

If Troy had felt weirded out by the fact I almost kissed him earlier in the day, he didn't show it. Conversation flowed easily as usual between us, which was a huge relief for me. If one stupid action on my behalf had destroyed our friendship, I don't think I could have lived with myself.

Can't you all just hear the violin's coming from the itsy bitsy pity party?

Ahem.

Troy slung his arm casually around my shoulders as we reached my corridor, and I tried my hardest to ignore the tingles that raced through my body.

"So Miss Montez, if I was to suggest breakfast at Lynn's Diner before class tomorrow, what would you say?"

I pretended to look thoughtful for a moment. Like the decision actual required brain cells. Duh.

"I would say pancakes are on you," I replied cheekily.

Troy sighed dramatically swaying us from side to side as we walked up the hall. "For all the years we've been best friends, I'm surprised I haven't had to take out like, a bank loan just to survive."

"So you'll come get me at 7:30?" I grinned up at him, placing my hand on the knob of my door, mentally berating myself for sounding so flirty.

God, I'm a slut. A slut!

Troy rolled his eyes and let out another big sigh. "I gueeesss," he drew out.

"See you then," I giggled. Our usual, customary good night would now be for me to give him a quick peck on the cheek. I hesitated slightly, in light of today's events, before deciding it would be weirder in Troy's eyes if I didn't do it.

And we couldn't have that.

I reached up on my tip toes and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

WHORE!

Oh, shut up brain.

"Night Troy," I said as he wrapped me in a tight hug, pressing his usual friendly kiss to my forehead.

"G'night Ella," he replied with a smile and wink.

Then, before I had even recovered from my pathetic pile of mush, he was gone. I stood there for a moment – alone in the hallway, listening to his retreating footsteps and feeling strangely like a thirteen year old who had just been dropped home after her first date. I rolled my eyes at myself and swallowed those thoughts before quietly letting myself into the dorm room, aware that Chelsea may have been asleep.

Or not.

"...A prettier package you never did see, take me home and then unwrap me, shop around but little darlin' I gotta be...the ladies' choice..."

I squealed like a fan girl and flopped down on the bed next to Chelsea.

"Okay, someone up there was looking out for me the day they decided you should be my roommate!" I exclaimed, grabbing a fistful of caramel popcorn.

Chelsea laughed and passed me half a block of rocky road chocolate. Phwoooar, this girl was going to do bad things to my figure. Although – bright side – maybe if I looked like the side of a house, Troy wouldn't speak to me anymore and I wouldn't have to worry about, y'know, slipping and landing with my lips on his. And stuff.

I shoved two pieces in my mouth.

"My god, Link Larkin is freakin' sexy," I groaned through my mouthful of chocolate.

Chelsea laughed again, nodding her agreement. "Y'know he kinda reminds me of...Troy."

I nearly spat out my chocolate. "Troy? Troy Bolton? As in, my best friend Troy?"

"Yeah," Chelsea confirmed. "Don't you think?"

I tilted my head, studying the TV screen. "A little I guess...just don't let Troy hear you say that – we already have enough trouble fitting his ego through doorways."

The two of us snorted with laughter, and I popped some more chocolate in my mouth to try and distract myself from the images that were now flashing through my head of my best friend shaking his hips in my direction.

"Speaking of Troy, how was dinner?" Chelsea asked.

"Yeah, it was great," I replied. "It's this tradition we've had ever since first semester of freshman year here at U of A – burgers for dinner on the first night back. Best opportunity to have a whinge about the workload we're about to be piled with."

"I bet," the blond smiled, before pausing for a moment. "So..." she trailed off, seeming slightly uncertain.

"Mmm?" I pressed curiously.

"What's the deal there? I mean like, between you guys. You seem pretty close."

"Yeah," I smiled. "We're the best of best friends. Pretty much inseparable, most of the time."

"But you're just best friends – nothing more?"

"Nothing more," I confirmed, feeling slightly deflated at the reminder.

"But you would like there to be...?" Chelsea pushed.

"To be what?" I played dumb.

"Something more."

I swallowed. She had me pegged! Was I really that obvious? And sad? And PATHETIC? Gah! I had to fix this.

I shook my head and attempted to laugh. Ok, I'll admit it sounded more like a donkey being strangled, but at least it was a better alternative than throwing myself on the floor, beating my fists down and sobbing out an admittance of hopeless devotion. The girls already gave me a hard enough time about Troy as it was – I couldn't have the merciless teasing extend any further!

"With Troy?" I snorted.

Chelsea nodded pointedly, raising an eyebrow at my sudden onset of retardedness.

"Pfft, no way! I'd rather...I'd rather date, like...like...a...a chimp," I finished lamely.

"A chimp?" Chelsea laughed.

"Well...yeah..." I joined in laughing at my own expense. "Seriously though...Troy and I are extremely close, but...dating him would be like...dating my brother," the words physically pained me to say. Tearing my heart out here, people! " Yeah I love him -" aaah, that felt good, "but as my best friend, not as anything more," not so good. "Nothing could ever happen between us – it'd just be too...weird," why not stick the knife in a little further, Gabriella? Give it a twist while you're at it too. "So. Just friends." Ok mouth, stop speaking now before you shatter my heart into a million, tiny, non-repairable pieces.

Chelsea nodded slowly, processing my gush of ramble.

"Fair enough," she said eventually. "So anyway...you up for Love Actually after Hairspray's done?"

Great.

Just what I need – a soppy tale of unrequited love. Story of my freaking life. Even if it was about a guy not getting any. I wonder if I would have more luck in love if I was a guy.

Or a lesbian.

Now there's a thought.

HSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSM

Ah, university - the time of crazy partying!

Okay, a gathering of friends in the park in the middle of a Saturday afternoon may seem tame to most people but those people have obviously never seen Chad attempt to operate a barbecue. It wasn't just entertaining, it was fucking entertaining. I could've helped, since it was in fact my barbecue, but it was so much funnier leaning back against a tree and watching him struggle.

"God fucking... stupid..." he muttered, the rest of the sentence a jumble of barely discernible - and quite inventive - curses, while he fiddled with the propane tank.

Zeke and I shared a knowing look, both of us well aware that the knob he should've been turning right about then was located on the opposite side of the tank.

"How long 'til he finds it, you think?" Zeke asked me, brushing an errant spider from the hem of his shirt.

"At least seven minutes," I answered after a moment of consideration.

I didn't hear Zeke's possibly hilarious response because a familiar giggle caught my attention, the very one that sent my heart into warp speed. Immediately my head did an exorcist twist in the direction the sound had come from and there she was. Gabriella. She was flanked on either side, as ever, by Taylor and Sharpay, along with her blond roommate and one other girl I'd never seen before.

Sigh. There was her adorable wave and smile... cue heart attack.

They were quite a posse, struggling with various bottles of soft drinks and things to barbecue. Tay was pulling along two folding chairs - which made her stride oddly zombie-ish - while Ella's roommate was stuck lugging a pink sparkly boombox. There was no question about who it belonged to. Sharpay, I wasn't surprised to see, had somehow avoided carrying anything besides her yappy little dog.

Zeke and Chad both abandoned their previous activities to greet their girlfriends, but not before I'd heaved myself up off the grass and scooped Ella up into a hug, ignoring the gross feeling of packages of steak and ground beef she'd been carrying getting squished between us.

"Troy!" she squealed, her voice muffled by my tight grip. Her face was pressed into my shoulder.

If I had cared enough to look, I'm sure Chad and Zeke would've been rolling their eyes.

She giggled - heart attack! - as she pulled away. "Miss me?" she joked, laying the food down next to the blanket Zeke and I had spread out to witness the circus that was Chad lighting the barbecue.

I could feel the smile on my face grow wider. I probably looked like the Joker or something.

"Not really," I quipped. The truthful answer would have been: HELL YES.

Feigning outrage, Ella said, "I bring hot girls to this picnic and this is how I'm repaid?"

Hot was right. The sundress Ella was wearing was one of my favorites and, no matter how much I repeated the "we're best friends" mantra in my brain, I always ended up staring at her legs. Smooth... golden... Oh fuck, here we go.

We're best friends. WE'RE BEST FRIENDS.

She's my best friend with the sexiest legs I've ever seen...

NO!

To conceal my dirty thoughts - fantasies which, if ever brought into fruition, would no doubt have resulted in grass stains galore - I laughed nervously.

"Hot girls?" I questioned, though I knew full well that it was her segue-way into introducing me to the unfamiliar girl who'd arrived with them.

"This is Mia - Shar's new roomie. And I assume even you can remember Chelsea," she teased, pointing to each girl respectively.

Mia was an attractive girl, there was no denying it. She had very delicate features, everything thin and dainty. Her hair was light brown and expertly coiffed. I could detect very well-applied make up on her milky white face that complimented her blue dress perfectly. If I didn't know any better, I might have thought Sharpay decided to clone herself to see what she'd look like as a brunette. God knows, she probably had enough money.

Even though she smiled warmly as we shook hands and Ella told her my name, she still couldn't hold a candle to my best friend with her smooth, golden -

SHUT UP, BRAIN!


"Nice to meet you," I said politely, Gabriella nodding at my ability to at least pretend I was civil.

"Hey," Chelsea said softly and I smiled in return. Any friend of Ella's was destined to be a friend of mine.

"Now that we have all these ridiculously boring introductions out of the way," Shar's voice cut through the air. "Let's start actually having some fun!"

"What do you suggest, oh wise one?" Gabriella asked sardonically, making me chuckle without even thinking.

"Well, the optimum activity would be watching the guys play Frisbee shirtless, but since they have to make our food first, how about we just relax. Where's my stereo?"

Chelsea instantly sprung into action and forked over the pink boombox, jumping back once the job was done as if she expected Shar to explode. We all settled down on the ground, with the exception of Sharpay who stole one of Taylor's folding chairs - more specifically the one that was meant for Chad - whining on about not wanting to ruin yet another designer dress. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ella blush, a sheepish expression on her face. It didn't take long for Taylor to let the whole thing go; Sharpay and her whining tended to have that affect on people.

Feeling shamelessly flirty, I yanked Ella into my lap, illiciting a high pitched squeal from her. To my delight, she didn't protest. She just shifted for a few seconds to make herself more comfortable before leaning back into me.

Ahhh, bliss.

I closed my eyes as I savored the scent of her body wash that lingered on her skin.

For the record, I'm not a stalker. I just enjoy the smell of apples...Apple Orchards Body Wash by Herbal Essences, to be more precise.

No really... please don't call the police?

My focus drifted in and out as the girls chatted away above the show tunes blaring from Shar's stereo. Taylor had abandoned the girl talk in favour of ensuring that Chad didn't set his huge afro on fire. I almost laughed out loud when Chad honest-to-God pouted at the fact that it took his girlfriend mere seconds to light the barbecue.

"It just doesn't like me, dammnit!" he proclaimed while throwing his hands up in the air.

Taylor bit her lip to suppress the laughter she so obviously wanted to set free. "Chad... baby, it's an inanimate object."

As was often the case with Taylor's logical observations, Chad's only comeback was a series of frustrated grunts.

The feeling of Ella resting her hand on my knee brought my attention rocketing back to her and away from Chad and Taylor in an instant. I'm not sure whether or not she was aware she was doing it, but she started to rub small circles up from my knee to my thigh and back down again.


Gulp.

How could something feel so wrong yet so right at the same time?

Her contributions to the conversation between herself, Sharpay and their roommates didn't cease while as she unknowingly teased me, making that much worse. The sound of her giggling at Chelsea and Shar's heated debate about whether hamsters make good pets only added to the torture being bestowed upon me.

Dear God.

I could feel my jeans becoming uncomfortably tight already...

Nonononono.

I had to think of dead kittens or Miss Darbus naked.

Okay... with that image in mind, I may never want to have sex again.

"You okay?"

And Ella simply had to say that right in my ear in a sultry whisper.

Dead kittens. DEAD PUPPIES. DEAD LEMUR BABIES!

"Uh huh!" I said, wincing at the unfortunate cracking of my voice.

She laughed. "Are you sure? You seem really tense..."

If only that sentence could have ended with her offering to help me relax, perhaps with a nice massage. But alas, the only way to leave that picnic without embarrassing myself tenfold was to not have Ella in between my legs.

Man, how hot does that sound?

... I have some serious issues. How many baby animals would have to die in my head in order to make this go away?

Needless to say, when Zeke announced that the first batch of food was done, I was in no position to get up. Getting up would involve the rest of the park, once Sharpay yelled it out as she was sure to do, to become aware of my, um... situation? Predicament? Perviness? All of the above?

Ella immediately sprung up out of my lap as if she hadn't eaten in days, reaching her hand behind her as if to help me up. When I didn't take it - I was too busy finding something else to cover my lap with like a fourteen year old boy in gym class - she looked back in question.

"Uh... leg cramp?" I tried meekly, pretending to massage my "cramped" calf while also strategically hiding my lap with the rest of my leg.

She patted my head sympathetically. "Poor boy. Don't worry, I'll get you something."


I breathed a sigh of relief when she skipped away, over to the crowded barbeque. How I'd managed to get out of that one without some higher power deciding they needed to embarrass me, I'll never know. Not only that, but my food was being brought directly to me by the hottest girl alive. Wait a minute... did I fall asleep in the park? I'd had that dream more than once.

"Um, Troy?" I heard Chad ask me as he let himself fall into a sitting position beside me. "Why do you have Sharpay's stereo in front of your crotch?"

I couldn't very well say I enjoyed the vibrations from the bass, now could I?

"I don't... know?" I said lamely.

Chad rolled his eyes at me, a smirk on his face that suggested he knew precisely what the stereo was doing in my lap - the very same place Ella had just vacated.

"Maybe if you stopped staring at the girl's ass, you wouldn't need to hide anything."

Busted.

I sputtered indignantly all the same, as if to say "how dare you!". Having known me for pretty much ever, Chad paid very little attention.

"Or maybe if you actually told Gabs how you felt, you wouldn't be so sexually frustrated all the time and therefore wouldn't have to hide anything either," he suggested before digging into the first of the four hamburgers on his plate.

Horrified that one of the girls, or even worse - the girl in question, would overhear, I glanced around. Luckily for Chad, Zeke's awesome cooking was making for a good distraction.

"Dude!" I hissed. "A measure of discretion, please? And besides, I really don't know what you're talking about..." As if to prove a point, I removed Sharpay's stereo from the front of my pants, my excitement having died down by that point.

"Oh, give it a rest, pretty boy. How's this?" he asked through a disgustingly visible mash-up of meat, ketchup and bread. "You tell Gabi the truth or I'll tell Sharpay it was really you who fed Boi that chocolate rabbit that made him puke all over her closet last Easter."

Oh shit.

"You wouldn't!"

"I'd say I'm pretty tired of this whole girly, unrequited love, soap opera thing you've got going on, so yeah. I totally would."

My eyes narrowed dangerously as I desperately wished he'd choke on his hamburger, hence ridding me of my problem all together.

No such luck.

Before I was forced to beg him to keep his mouth shut, we were joined by Ella and Chelsea. 

Thankfully, Gabriella chose to sit next to me as opposed to on me, while Chelsea sat in front of me.

"Here you are, precious," Ella said in a teasing babyish tone, handing me a plate of steak. "How's your leg?"

I blushed, looking only at the steak because I could see Chad's shoulders shaking with laughter out of the corner of my eye. Leg cramp - the oldest trick in the book.

"It's fine, thanks," I mumbled.

"Good! 'Cause you're so going to have to carry me home after I eat all this," she replied and tucked into the hamburger Zeke had made especially for her with absolutely everything on it.

Was it wrong that I found her ability to scarf that burger down incredibly sexy?

Like I said... issues.

HSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSM

There's only one thing that's more amusing than watching Chad try to light a barbecue, and that's watching Chad try to pack up a barbecue.

After almost half an hour of sitting around watching him struggle, however, it was starting to get cold. And boring. And dangerous too, as Chad took to throwing things around in frustration. And even though sitting with Troy's arm wrapped around me, his hand running up and down my arm to keep me warm was kind of cozy...we decided it would be a good time to bail and leave Chad to his own devices.

"Chels...grab your stuff, we're gonna get outta here before someone looses an eye," I whispered to my newest friend, as a pair of tongs went sailing over our heads.

"Good idea," Chelsea replied in agreement, quickly snatching up her belongings and standing along with Troy and I.

"Uh...we're, uh...gonna head off now," Troy muttered quickly before the three of us turned and hastened, ignoring Taylor as she shouted insults about us 'abandoning her' at our retreating backs.

"Oh god," I laughed breathlessly, looking at Chelsea. "You must think we're all completely nuts – the lot of us."

"Hey!" Troy exclaimed indignantly on my other side. "I resent that! I am nothing but the epitome of cool, thank you very much Miss Montez."

I threw my arm out sideways and whacked him.

Chelsea laughed. "Naaah, life would just be boring without a...oh, excuse me," she apologized as her cell phone rang. "Hello?"

Troy looped his arm through mine as we walked a little ahead of Chelsea, allowing her some privacy for her phone call.

And allowing us a little of our own alone time.

Shut up. Let me have my dreams.

Anyway, Troy and I ambled along in a comfortable silence as Chelsea chatted away a few steps behind us, until we heard her say goodbye and she caught up to us, smiling but wiping a few tears from her eyes at the same time.

"Hey, are you ok?" I asked in concern, putting a hand on her arm.

"Yeah, yeah – I'm fine," she replied. "Just a few homesick tears...That was the lady whose kids I babysit when I'm back home in LA. Vanessa Bryant, you might have heard of her."

Troy stopped dead in his tracks, my shoulder almost ripping out of its socket as I stumbled.

"Ow, Troy!" I frowned, rubbing my aching joint. "What are you doing?"

I looked up at my best friend who didn't even seem to realise he'd hurt me as he stared at Chelsea, his mouth opening and closing like some sort of retarded guppy.

"Va...Vanessa Bryant?" he stammered. Troy Bolton? Lost for words? What the heck was the world coming to? And who was this other woman who had sent my Troy's head into the clouds?

Wait – my Troy? What, was I five?

I looked between Chelsea – who had an amused smile tugging at the corners of her mouth - and Troy – who was still gaping – waiting for an answer.

"Vanessa Bryant, as in...Kobe's wife?" the last part of his sentence came out in a strangled, squeaky whisper. Aaah, the LA Lakers – I should have known Troy's sudden awestruck state was somehow directly related to basketball.

Chelsea shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah, the Bryant's are family friends of ours – have been for years, we live in the same neighbourhood. My little sister Lauren is the same age as their eldest Natalia, so I quite often look after the two of them, and little Gianna as well. They're gorgeous kids."

"Y...you know Kobe? Kobe Bryant?" Troy stuttered, sounding more like a pre-pubescent fourteen year old fan boy than I had ever heard in our three plus years of friendship.

Chelsea laughed. "Yeah, but it's no big deal – our families have been friends practically my whole life. He's just a regular guy, really. A regular guy with one heck of a game."

"No big deal?" Troy squeaked, and I had the sudden urge to slap him back to his senses. "Chelsea – Kobe Bryant is like, my idol! You are officially my new favorite person."

New fav...new favo...JHUBUNJUGYVFV!! The green eyed monster bubbled up inside as I huffed along beside the apparent new BFF's.

Chelsea just beamed, her cheeks slightly flushed and her eyes sparkling.

Helloooooo new roomie – my best friend you're flirting with here – keyword, MY! My, as in MINE 

MINE MINE!

Urgh.

Since when did I turn into Friendzilla?

"No shit!" I heard Troy exclaim suddenly, and my attention snapped back to my so-called best friend and my so-called 'nice' roommate.

No shit what? What did I miss? God Gabriella, you always zone out at the most inopportune times!

Chelsea shrugged her shoulders again. "Yeah, easy."

What's easy? WHAT?

"Really?!" Troy's voice had reached a pitch beyond fan girl proportions.

"Done deal," Chelsea grinned. "I'll make a call tonight and see what I can do."

"Did you hear that Ella?" Troy turned to me looking like a little boy at Christmas, who had just discovered a brand new bike under the tree from Santa. His adorable blue...WAIT!

I was mad at him.

Right, mad best friend face? Check. I don't care attitude? Check.

"Huh?" I replied vaguely.

"Chelsea's gonna get me an autographed Lakers jersey!"

Oh fantastic. New BFF has known Troy for all of one week and she's already giving him a better present than I have ever gotten him in our three year relationship.

Friendship. Whatever.

It isn't even his fucking birthday!

But, being the wonderful, caring, loyal best friend that I am, I sucked it up, plastered on a smile, and gushed graciously. "Wow, that's awesome!"

"Isn't it?!" Troy was practically bouncing as he turned back to Chelsea and they continued their excited basketball ramble.

Cue much grumbling under my breath.

Coz I'm mature like that.

We reached our dorm and I reached for the handle, determined to continue on my completely mature charade and leave Troy to finish his conversation with Chelsea in peace while I went and sulked like the spoiled brat of Sharpay Evans proportions I appeared to be turning into.

But before I could slink through the door unnoticed, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, you don't think you're getting away without a hug, do you?" Troy was looking at me with such an adorable expression – a mixture of confusion and amusement and just plain sexiness – that my legs turned to jelly and all previously felt anger disappeared in a big pink puff of I-love-my-best-friend.

Chelsea? Chelsea who?

I grinned and snuggled into his chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around me, squeezing me so hard my feet actually left the floor. He set me back down after a few seconds, kissing my forehead as he always did. Chelsea bid him goodbye and I leaned up and kissed his cheek as per our ritual, feeling somewhat satisfied as my roommate disappeared into our dorm.

Oh, who was I kidding – I didn't need to be jealous of her! Who cares how many basketball stars she has connections with; I'll always be Troy Bolton's number one.

Won't I?

WON'T I??

PS. The correct answer is yes, y'all.

With one last (adorable, sexy, gorgeous, makes-me-weak-at-the-knees) grin, Troy headed back down the corridor.

"I'll call you later, Ella," he yelled over his shoulder, and I had to lean against my door frame for support.

Sigh.

Entering my room, I took note of Chelsea sitting back against her pillows, a somewhat distant and dreamy smile on her face.

"Gabi?" she asked distantly.

"Mmm?" I replied.

"Are you sure there's nothing going on between you and Troy?"

Well, we have a registry office booked in Vegas next week, but...

"Chels – no! I promise, if there was I would tell you."

"So there's absolutely no feelings more than friendship from either of you?"

I sighed. "Seriously Chels – we're best friends, nothing more!"

"So you wouldn't mind if I asked him out then?"

One time – back in the seventh grade – Declan Martins smeared red ink all over the back of my dress, and then pretended to tear up whilst telling the whole class how proud he was that I was finally experiencing the joys of being a woman.

I thought that was the worst day of my entire life.

I was wrong.


Soooo, should we run for the hills yet? Please review!

Up next: awkwardness abounds!

Until next time,

Peace, love and all that jazz,

Jessa and Kylie xox