A/N: Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing. its greatly appreciated. :D

Life seemed difficult.

As she sat alone by the Mississippi river, keys in hand, she couldn't ignore the overwhelming desire to just leave. Find a interstate and drive to wherever she was destined to be.

Looking toward the dark sky, to the thousands of stars, she spoke to her brother and father telling them everything on her mind. She used to come out there all the time, find her usual spot on the levy and speak to God.

But that all changed one night.

Spencer sighed closing her eyes, she laid on her back and turned her attention to the water. The current was so strong, it was fascinating to watch and wonder what it'd be like to be carried away by it.

Sarah wanted to date this boy, they laid in bed naked in each other's arms that morning when she told her. Suprisingly, she wasn't heartbroken or upset. Over the course of three months, they had referred to each other as their love, but Spencer was beginning to question the depth of their love. Was it love?

It couldn't be.

Releasing Sarah was too easy for it to have been true love, she was grateful her longtime friend told her first before messing around with the boy, and she kind of shrugged the whole thing off like it was no big deal.

And then there was Nixxie.

She had become obsessed with the extravagant woman adonning mostly leather and whips. More time had been spent researching her, finding out everything about her, she felt so drawn to this woman, someone she knew nothing about, someone private enough to keep her true identity sacredly hidden.

More than anything, she wanted to find out her real name. Take her out to brunch, and explore the depths of her mind. The feelings had become so real she often wondered if they knew each other in a past life or maybe they were soul mates.

The keys rattled in her hand, and inside the bag she wore everywhere was a debit card. At 16 she owned an account with her mother, and on the account was the money she received from her father's death.

She could leave tonight.

Maybe head to California.

Maybe find Nixxie.

There wouldn't be a reason to say goodbye to her mother. Lately, they had been at each other's throats about everything. The cause of their tension, her girlfriend Sarah. The god devoted woman was finding it hard to accept that her seemingly perfect christian daughter had a thing for girls and not guys.

God, she hated her hometown. Sarah couldn't handle being looked at funny and spoken about behind her back. Her parents gave her hell when they found out, threatening to take away her car and put her out on the streets. Poor thing was terrified despite trying to sound all tough and non caring. Spencer knew that was the real reason behind their break up. Mitch Carey, the boy she supposedly liked, was a moron and it wasn't believable she'd willing leave her for him.

And then there was Ashley.

The other night she had accidentally picked up the house phone while her mother was in mid conversation with someone. Just as she was about to hang it up, she heard her name. The minutes that followed revealed she was speaking to Christine, Ashley's mother and Raife's manager. The five year old owned a huge chunk of her heart, she cared for the girl as If she were her own kid, and the more she listened to them, the more she wanted to slam the phone down and tear it out the wall.

Apparently, her relationship with Sarah had reached the wealthy woman's ears. The concerns being voiced to her mother were completely atrocious and she wanted to both scream and cry. She sat listening to Christine ask 'Do you think she'll touch Ashley inappropriately, if she already hasn't..." And although her mother did defend her, it was weak and she sounded very unsure.

The thought alone made her stand from the grass. If she wasn't leaving tonight, she might as well jump into the viscous waters of the Mississippi.

She'd rather die than live another day around hateful small minded assholes.

The harsh heat of the sun had caused her to wake up in a pool of her own sweat, a feeling she always despised. With closed eyes, she could hear the sound of rushing water, bringing on wave after wave of dread. The last thing she remembered was stumbling and falling into something... Mushy?

'Here we go.' Sitting up, she closely examined her body, wincing at the brightness of the day. Mud drenched what used to be a nice outfit, and she had the worst head ache imaginable. How she managed to climb around the levy in her heavily drunken state was a miracle.

Not falling into the river, an even bigger miracle.

The drive back to the white country house was miserable. Without her aviators shielding her from the sun, she didn't know how she would have been able to make it back without succumbing to the pain in her head.

The entire night was mostly a mystery. She knew she had sex with Sarah and then... And then... There was nothing. Making a mental note to text her friend later on, she pulled into the house's horse shoe driveway and then got out of the muddy jeep.

The house seemed mostly deserted as she ventured inside needing a long, cleansing, relaxing, bath. A sigh ecscaped her as warm soothing water enveloped her body, and she would have drifted off to sleep had she not heard the front door open and close.

With pruney fingers, she lifted her near perfect body out of the tub. She had dedicated her life to keeping in shape and looking as close to perfect as humanly possible. Living In Las Angela's, having the career that she had, being Gabriella Castel's ex- She wanted to be leaner, more toned, more tanned, and hotter than anyone else, especially Gabriealla.

Wiping down with a towel, she wrapped it around herself walking down the hall to her room. She dressed comfortably casual before venturing back out into the hallway. Walking three doors down, smiling at the movie she heard playing on the flat screen, she knocked briefly before walking in on her mother's command.

"Hey my baby." Paula greeted setting the magazine on her lap to the side. Spencer hadn't stood in the master bedroom in years. She had new furniture and pictures of the family everywhere. "Come here."

Maybe she sensed some discomfort, because she began patting the empty spot on the mattress beside her, flashing a warm smile. "Temperpedic." Spencer crawled up the king bed to where her mother's hand had beckoned her. "My momma don't play when it comes to her beauty rest."

There was a moment of surprise flashing through the older blonde's eyes. Spencer hadn't called her Momma since leaving town. Even as she said it, there was the barest hint of her old accent, she chuckled playing with her child's hair affectionately. "How do you think your Momma has managed to stay lookin so youthful, my baby." The gentle caress on her hair and face urged her tired eyes to close. The head ache seemed so much more bearable as she lied in the warm cozy bed curled up to her mother.

She felt like she'd been up for days.

"You grew up so fast." Just as she was about to sink into a deep sleep, she was pulled back to reality by her mother's thoughtful tone. "You always wanted to be grown." She chuckled softly. "Since the day you could talk all you wanted to do was grow up to be this or that, see this place or that place, start drivin on your own. There were days I wished you'd come to me and say, 'momma I just want to be your little girl forever."

"Momma." A sleepy smile graced her features as she began falling back into a world of dreams. "I just want to be your little girl forever."

And then she was gone.

Blinking the sleep out of her eyes, she stilled in her almost quick movements to get up. Being more careful not to wake her sleeping mother, she caught a glimpse of the several bottles of prescription medication before walking out of the room.

Feeling a little better, she brieftly went back into her bedroom grabbing a small leather bag. It was late afternoon, the sun was barely still up, creating the perfect setting for the two teens sitting by the pool. She watched them through the glass sliding door, watched as the gorgeous teenage boy strummed a guitar singing Into the brunette's eyes.

He was built like a football player, with bright brown eyes and dyed blonde hair. He reminded her of a male Taylor Swift.

Giving the kids their privacy, she went a different way out to the small barn. The tall wooden structure was designed for one horse and some chickens. They never bothered with farm animals, but as shit got tough to deal with living there, she would climb to the top of the loft part and smoke all of her troubles away.

Spencer didn't frequently use drugs, just alcohol, but she always had some pills or marijuana on hand for those extra stressful occasions. Packing a bowl, she leaned back against the barn wall taking the first delightful hit. With each hit, she ventured further and further down memory lane recalling coming up there to get high after church or after watching kids. Her life had split into two, and living a double life had become stressful and annoying. The closer she became to Sarah or Gabri- Nixxie, the farther she grew away from god and the people of Magnolia Mississippi.

Flicking the bic lighter alive once again, she brought the pipe to her lips, stopping at the sound of voices.

"I wish, I wish we could just be married already." A male voice nearly moaned and she really wished they would have just stayed by the pool. With an eye roll, she laid down on her back waiting for the teens to leave so she could continue, and praying they wouldn't decide to choose there and now to have sex.

"Soon." Was Ashley's breathless reply. The air was filled with their labored breathing and the sound of their hungry kisses.

Spencer was too stoned to pay attention to them. She burrowed deep into her high, trying to block them out.

"Levi, we have to stop, we have to stop. Not yet, not now."

There was heavy breathing breaking the silence of the barn. Spencer had no sense of time, how long the three of them stayed in there was lost on her, and how long she stayed in there after listening the their goodbyes was also unknown.

Finally alone, she packed another bowl and took three last hits, sitting there a little while before placing everything back into the leather pouch, and climbing down the loft's ladder.

Leaving shouldn't have been a big ordeal, she should have been able to walk right out and head to the kitchen with no questions asked. "W-what are you doing here?" But that simply wasn't the case. In the moonlight, she was met with Ashley's tear stained face, and Spencer swore she never cried this much as a small child.

"Not eavesdropping if that's what you're thinking." The answer was honest, a little on the goofy side but she was pretty high. "Do you want to talk about it?" The offer was genuine, she really never liked seeing the brunette upset. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

She grew two and three heads again. "I can't deal with you right now." She sounded exasperated, completely stressed out of her mind. Spencer had to stop herself from packing a bowl for the clearly upset teen. "You're the last thing I need." She spoke more to herself as she tried to compose herself, looking down and wiping her face with her hands. "Just go."

Despite marijuanas influence on her mind, she started feeling bad. She thought back to the diner, and how angry the girl seemed. "I'm sorry for being a douche. You should hate me and never want to see my face again ."

"Where's the but?" She quietly asked continuing to stare down at the ground.

"There is none. I'm just being honest." While they were on the honesty subject, she felt it was a good time to say what the brunette probably never heard from anyone else in the small Mississippi town. "I don't think getting married is a good idea." She spoke casually but there was also a underline seriousness to the statement. "Why are you doing it?"

Her head snapped up to her and she seemed completely caught off guard by the question. "I- I love him." The answer was spoken a little too quickly, kind of defensive, not very convincingly, and it piqued Spencer's interest.

"I've never been in love." She lied leaning against the ladder she had climbed down from. "What's it like?"

"He makes me feel, makes me feel... Like there are butterflies around all the time." The blonde chuckled and couldn't help but intervene, "And when you kiss you see fireflies or something else equally as colorful and bright, right?"

Ashley didn't seem to share her humor. In fact, she seemed angry. "Not everyone wants to be like you."

There was disgust as she spoke, but that didn't phase Spencer. Behind dark aviators, she stared strangely at the teenage girl shooting bullets at her with her eyes. "No, not everyone wants to be like me." She repeated carefully. "They just want to act like me, isn't that right little girl?"

"That was a mistake." The brunette stood from where she sat and ran a nervous hand through her hair, seemingly stunned by her words. "That whole, that whole thing was a mistake." Again she spoke as if speaking out loud to herself. "You need help, Gab- Spencer." She turned in her direction finding her eyes. "Let me go over a few scriptures with you-"

"Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Proverbs 11:3 - Honesty guides good people; dishonesty destroys treacherous people. Romans 1:26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." A small sarcastic smirk shaped her lips. "Did you forget I used to teach YOU this shit?"

"Then why do you act the way you act?" She questioned seemingly genuinely confused. "Let me go over the bible with you again. Maybe you just need a fresh new start-"

The blonde smiled at the offer, smiled at the extent of the brunette's fear of sin. "I don't need to go over the bible with someone I slept with just a couple of nights ago, Ashley."

The brunette seemed flustered all of a sudden at the sound of her erotically spoken name. "I told you it was mistake-"

"No one's ever mistakingly fallen onto my dick, my darling." She moved from the ladder walking around the barn, casually keeping her eyes on the nervous teenage girl.

"Y- you seduced me!" She spat out all of a sudden stopping Spencer in her tracks. "Bu- but I don't blame you. The devil works in mysterious ways. You're just corrupt right now, but you can-" she stopped talking as the blonde closely approached her, taking the golden cross between two fingers, she carefully examined it.

Specially engraved onto the back of the charm were the letters SRC. "I can't believe you still wear this thing." The memory of her handing the little girl the necklace her dad had given to her played in her head. Ashley was so excited, so happy to be given something special of hers before she left.

"You were my hero." She hadn't expected that to come from the girl she stood incredibly close to. Slightly lifting her head to look into the face generously bathed in the moon's kind light, she gently tugged on the necklace urging the brunette closer to her.

"And now I'm Satan." Their faces were so close so incredibly close that their breaths mingled. She searched, looking for any signs of discomfort or disgust, there was nothing but a sense of awe and apprehension. "What were you doing on Bourbon street, Ashley? Alone without your fiance... were you bored of reliving the same day, day after day? Were you looking for an escape? Were you looking for excitment? Something completely out of the ordinary to add some kind of spice that you're life was lacking-"

"Stop." She was becoming angry again a fire lighting in her eyes. "You don't know me! You don't know anything about me!"

"You're wrong. I do know you." She released the brunette, carefully watching her as she put distance between them. "Whatever the reason you're marrying this boy, Its not a good idea."

"It's what I want and and what you think really doesn't matter. I know when I've made a mistake and God knows I'm human, I'm willing to never sin again in that... Way. I don't care what you say. We both know your lifestyle Is wrong in his eyes and I'm not okay with that behavior." With those words, Ashley walked out of the barn hastily, never meeting her eyes as she spoke.

Spencer stared after her, smirking.